by Unknown
“There’s nothing to work out, Scott. Just…just leave me alone, please.”
Scott stepped back, running his hands through his hair in consternation, unsure what to do. He didn’t want her going out into the snow, but she was a grown woman, and she wanted to get away from him. That much was clear. He couldn’t stop her, short of forcing her to stay, which he wouldn’t. She needed to cool down, and maybe they could talk more reasonably later.
Still, he couldn’t deny her words had stung.
He started to say something else as she reached the door, but she’d opened it and left before he could, without a second glance.
He didn’t know why she wouldn’t accept any help, but he wasn’t about to give up. Not by a long shot. The building would be fixed and Lost Treasures back up and running as soon as possible—and he planned to get Audra back as well. Whatever it took.
Chapter Five
A few days after the roof collapse, Audra walked briskly down Center Street toward a pub where she was meeting a friend for lunch. The snow over the weekend had added on to what was there before, but now the sun was out, and everything around her sparkled like diamonds.
Except for Audra, who felt like she had no sparkle left. She missed her store, and her work. She was broken-hearted over the damage, and what she’d lost.
She missed Scott.
It was particularly aggravating to miss him when they had only had one night together. She should be more concerned that she was unable to make a living at the moment. That was her first concern. She was so angry at herself for letting this happen, all of it. She should never have put off the repairs, and she should never have slept with Scott. It just made everything more complicated.
For three days she’d been in arguments with her insurance agency and dealing with salvaging what she could from the store while avoiding him. Not an easy task, as he was right next door.
He’d called, several times, and she let it go to message. The first call had been personal, the second business. He was working things out with the insurance on his end. The personal one she didn’t want to think about.
The snowstorm had to have been fate. Was the roof cave-in punishment for even thinking about having more with him than that one night? If she was honest, she knew it would have been more. There was a connection between them—maybe there always had been, even a vague one—that she’d tried to deny.
She was stupid—as she’d fallen asleep after making love that last time, she’d thought about the spring, and the wonderful things they could do together. They could go sailing on the bay, or she could take him to the flea markets and auctions she scoured to find merchandise for her shop. Scott was a hockey player, and he loved the world of winter. Summer was Audra’s playground, when the world was alive with tag sales, auctions and flea markets all over New England. She enjoyed the summer. It was her favorite season, and she’d imagined, just for a slight second, that she and Scott would share it.
Stupid. Hadn’t she learned her lesson about mixing business with pleasure? Or rather, business with love. It never worked out.
But how could she miss someone so much, and have it hurt so much, when it had only been one night?
She pushed away the thoughts. That was the past, and she needed to think of the future. Moving was not a great option, but she couldn’t afford any local real estate, and she didn’t want to move outside the city.
Turning into the pub, she saw Deb, her good friend who owned a used-book shop on the far end of Commercial Street. Deb had already grabbed a table and waved when she saw Audra standing in the door.
“Hey, chickie, how are you?” Deb stood and offered a hug before both women took their seats in the crowded pub. “Any news on the building? Were you able to save anything? I’ve been worried. I would have understood completely if you couldn’t meet today.”
“No, I really needed this. Thanks. I’m going back in later tonight to work on picking through what I can save, in the back mostly. The stuff out front was demolished. I’m going to have to get a storage unit to store some of it, which the insurance doesn’t cover, of course,” she added glumly.
“That sucks. So you’re still sneaking around in the evenings, trying to avoid Scott?”
Audra drew up straight. “I’m not sneaking. It’s just…awkward. I wish he’d stop calling me. As if this isn’t stressful enough already.”
Deb reached over to pat her hand consolingly. “Sounds to me like Scott relieved your stress pretty nicely the night of the storm. Color me jealous. In the good, I’m happy for you because you’re my friend sort of way, because if I had half a chance to jump that man, believe me…”
Audra felt a teeny bolt of jealousy zigzag through her, striking her right in the heart. But she knew Deb was only joking. Kind of.
She didn’t need to look at the menu, as she usually had the fried fish sandwich. One of the best in the city, in her opinion, and she wasn’t ashamed to comfort herself with the delicious fried goodness.
“You were lucky to have that one night. Do you know how many women in the state—or the country, for that matter—would be happy to change places with you, collapsed roof and all?”
Audra smirked. “I guess. I was married and then on my own. I’ve never had a sexy affair with a hot guy. If only it weren’t mixed up with the business, it would have been great. But as it is, I can’t believe I messed up like this. Worse, he feels like he needs to save me or something, just because we slept together.”
“He’s just trying to help. And he probably doesn’t want to lose you as a tenant.”
“Yeah, it has nothing to do with the sex.”
“So what if it does?”
Her friend’s response caught Audra off-guard as Deb popped a fry into her mouth, making a little show of it as she smiled at a guy at the bar who was clearly interested in her eating habits.
Audra laughed, watching her friend flirt. A few years older than Audra, Deb had also been divorced, though more recently, and she didn’t bother hiding the fact that she wanted to enjoy her single status as much as possible after being attached to the wrong man for too many years. Audra admired Deb’s free spirit and her confidence. They went out together from time to time, but she couldn’t loosen up and flirt the way Deb could. Audra always felt like the wet blanket, though Deb never complained. She wasn’t surprised that Deb would take a lighter view of things, but Audra sighed, knowing her friend was right.
“I just don’t want to be dependent on anyone. I can’t believe I let this happen again.”
“And what’s that, exactly?”
“You know. Like with Walt, my ex. I lost everything with him too. It seems like for me, romance and business don’t mix.”
“You’re playing it pretty fast and loose with the cause and effect, there. Walter was a pig who consciously screwed you out of your co-ownership in the store you owned together. And he was a pig for other reasons as well. Scott is just trying to help you out.”
“But only because I slept with him. It’s…unsavory. And it makes any future business between us impossible unless I work this out myself.”
“I guess I can see that. Let me ask you something, though. If you hadn’t slept with him, the same thing would have happened last night. The same storm would have wrecked your store. Do you think he’d still be trying to help you out?”
Audra thought about it and frowned, nodding. “Yeah, probably.”
“He’s not doing it because you had sex with him. He’s doing it because he’s a good guy. Are you sure you want to let that go over your sense of pride?”
“I guess you’re right. I’m afraid, after Walt, of letting anyone in. I’m in a real mess. I’m not earning any money, and the insurance agency is being very difficult on the compensation—they say that we knew about the damage and that I should sue him before filing a claim—or they pay me if they sue him… It’s a mess. I don’t want to sue him. I—”
Audra cut herself off before more unwise words tumbled ou
t.
“You what? Finish that sentence.”
Audra’s shoulder slumped. “I like him. I wish…I wish there was a way to work it out that I could feel good about.”
“Maybe you need to tell him that.”
“There’s no point. I need to focus on finding a new place as soon as I can. I don’t think I can stay here in the city. I could never afford it. So I don’t want to fantasize about having anything more with Scott. That ship, as they say, has sailed. It’s easier to make a clean break.”
“Audra, honey, don’t take this the wrong way, but—”
“What?” Audra interrupted, knowing that look in Deb’s eye.
“You are sometimes, well, I’m not sure how to say it, but you act in extremes. All in or all out. Black and white. No gray. Like you said you never considered having a fun fling. You always think in terms of permanence or relationships, but there are a lot of shades of gray. Way more than fifty.”
They both laughed softly at the joke. Audra hadn’t read that book. A story about a relationship with a domineering man didn’t appeal to her. But maybe Deb was right—even in her choice of reading, Audra closed down possibilities. She kept things, and people, at bay. Where they couldn’t hurt her.
“I know. I know I do that. It’s hard for me to deal with the in-between stuff. I need my feet solidly planted somewhere. I guess because I felt adrift after my marriage broke up, and I lost that business…and now here I am again, adrift.”
“That tells you something, right?”
Audra smirked. “Are you getting all Zen on me? The whole bit about change being the only thing that’s constant? Nothing is ever permanent?”
“Well, that, and that you can handle it. You made it. You got knocked off your feet—me too. And we made it. We’re fine. No matter what, you’ll be fine.”
Audra took a deep breath, thinking about what Deb was saying. Was she repeating old patterns rather than establishing new ones? Had she really moved forward, if that was true?
“You’re right. I don’t know what it means for me and Scott, but I’ll give it some thought.”
“Good. Because you shouldn’t give up on something good if you found it—especially when he puts that look on your face when you talk about him.”
“What look?”
“The ‘he’s amazing and gave me the best sex of my life’ look.”
“I didn’t realize there was a look for that.”
“There’s a look for everything, hon,” Deb said with a wink. “And speaking of new ventures, did you see that that place down on the water—the old fishing warehouse—is up for lease? I thought about checking it out. Maybe you should.”
“I did see the sign, but that’s a prime location, and it’s huge—I could never afford it.”
“I have a realtor looking into it. I don’t know that I could afford it either, but maybe…if you were open to the idea, the two of us together could afford it. I’d like to add a coffee shop to the bookstore, or something like that, but antiques and books go hand-in-hand. We could work something out, or if I swing it for my shop, you could share my space until you found another spot you wanted to be in. Anyway, no pressure, but so that you know that you have an option.”
Audra blinked away tears. “That’s good of you, Deb. Maybe I’ll take you up on some storage space, if you have it, but I don’t think I can promise anything otherwise. Not yet. And while the idea of being partners is intriguing, I have to wait and see what the insurance says. I can just about pay my rent and live for the next six months with what I have in savings, but that’s it. And now that I’ve lost the summer season, there’s no way I could invest in a partnership.”
“Try to break out of that all-or-nothing thinking, Audra—if you let people help, maybe we can find a way to make it work.”
“Like what?”
“Well, maybe you can put some things in the bookstore now and sell them there, if that helps. Who knows? You might find some new customers. We can work out the rest later.”
“Oh, that would be awesome. That’s a great idea.”
“I won’t even take a percentage,” Deb said with a smartass grin.
Audra threw a fry at her and suddenly felt a lot better.
Deb turned serious. “And you should talk to him, one way or the other. I think you and I could be great in business together, if you’re interested, and you’d still be here—do you really want to call it quits with Scott when you barely got started?”
Audra shook her head. “I don’t know. For someone who is allergic to romantic commitment, you sure seem intent on making me reconsider this.”
“I’m not saying be with him forever. Just be open to the possibilities. Don’t let your crappy ex-husband dictate the terms of every relationship you ever have, even if it’s one you only have temporarily, or for fun, or forever. At the very least, get closure. End it as well as you can. Or not. But face him. You’ll feel better for it. Especially if you stay around here.”
“Thanks, you could be right. I have to think about it more, though. But enough about me. Anyone special for you lately?”
Deb shook her head, frowning as she watched a woman walk up to join the guy who had been smiling at her a few minutes earlier.
“Nope. Major dry spell. Seems like the men around here have either disappeared or gotten together with someone over the last few months. Like my best friend scooping up the local hockey hunk.”
“I did not—”
“So you wouldn’t care if I made a play for him.”
Audra frowned before she could stop it.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Deb said with no shortage of cheek.
As they talked, Audra’s mind relaxed, and she thought more about what Deb had to say. Maybe she should talk to Scott and try to be more open to the possibilities. He wasn’t her ex, and she’d slept with him because she’d wanted to—and it had been wonderful. The expression on his face when he’d seen her wrecked store, and when he realized she could have been hurt, spoke volumes. He cared, and she’d pushed him away.
Maybe what she was really afraid of was herself. That if she saw him, she wouldn’t be able to say no. That she’d want more as well. Could she tell him that? Was it what she wanted?
Especially if this time, he might be the one who turned away?
Scott sat at the bar late that night, alone, after having drunk way too much. The day after the storm had been one of the most miserable days of his life. He missed Audra something fierce. She wouldn’t talk to him. Wouldn’t return his calls.
The thought of not seeing her anymore was…unthinkable.
He wished he knew why. There was obviously more going on than just her upset about the store, but he didn’t know what. For now all he could do was try to give her some breathing room, and when she was less angry, maybe they could talk again. Maybe she’d change her mind.
No. The worst part was, he couldn’t fix it—any of it. Even though he’d tried everything over the past few days, there was no financially solid way for him to save Lost Treasures, and that meant it was over. There was no way he could recoup the loss of a completely new building built where Lost Treasures had stood, even if he raised her rent to the current market value for the area. He was being advised to either sell the building or expand his own business there, adding a restaurant and perhaps some sort of sports facility. That would mean Audra would definitely be gone.
She’d be moving away, and he knew it would be the end of them, when there had hardly been a beginning.
His feelings for Audra were frightening. It had moved fast and taken him by surprise. To hurt this much after spending one night with a woman seemed insane—though he suspected he’d been falling for a long time, watching her and talking to her over those five years. When she finally was his, everything fell into place.
And then it fell apart.
He slid off the bar stool and took a moment as the world around him tilted slightly. Maybe another drink wasn’t the best idea
, but he didn’t want to think anymore.
Haunting lyrics about love lost from a Dave Matthews song played in the bar, spookily appropriate for the moment. He found the system controls behind the bar and shut the damned thing off.
The quiet was almost worse.
Suddenly, he heard a noise at the door. Someone moved in the shadows, and Scott faced the door, unsure if it was an intruder trying to jimmy the door—there had been a few problems with break-ins, intruders trying to loot the defunct antique shop at night. Then a figure stepped into the light.
Audra.
What was she doing here at this hour?
She didn’t knock but met his eyes through the glass, her phone to her ear. His rang.
“Audra?” Scott’s heart was slamming in his chest as he walked to the door, still holding the phone to his ear.
“Hi. I know it’s late, but can I come in?”
Scott shoved his phone in his pocket, barely able to unlock the doors fast enough.
When he opened the door, he wanted to grab her and pull her in close. Instead, he stepped back and let her walk by him, into the bar.
Awkwardness settled between them as she stood, hands in pockets while he fiddled with locking up the door again.
When he turned to face her, he searched her face, looking for any hint of why she was here so late.
“It’s good to see you, Audra. I’ve been…concerned.”
“I’m sorry for showing up in the middle of the night, but I needed to talk to you before I lost my nerve.”
She cut off his protest and surprised him by stepping forward, placing a hand on his arm. Every nerve ending in his body leapt in response to her touch. He drew back, slowly, letting her hand drop from his arm. Whatever blur he’d achieved through his earlier drinking seemed to evaporate into thin air. His mind cleared as his muscles tightened.
“I-I’ve been thinking. A lot.”
She shivered as she spoke the words, and he frowned, unsure if she was nervous or cold.
“Me too. Come in, let me get you something warm, and we can talk.”
