None of this would have been possible without the support of my mother and sisters. I often think that I’m my biggest fan but my mother comes a close second every day of the week. It’s her belief that I can actually do this that makes me keep pushing forward.
My writing career changed when I discovered the Indie Book Collective so many many thanks goes out to the IBC for making me a better writer and a better writing peer. Special shoutouts to Amber Scott who I’ve designated as my mentor whether she agrees or not J and Elena Gray who is always on G-chat when I need to laugh or vent.
This journey is just beginning and so far, it’s been the best rockiest time of my life! I wouldn’t trade one moment of stress for anything in this world. To my fans, you are truly ROCKSTARS! Thank you so much for accepting me and enjoying my work.
About the Author:
Connect with Jackie Chanel online:
Twitter: http://twitter.com/JackieChanel
Twitter Handle: @JackieChanel
Facebook: http://facebook.com/ajch79
Weblog: http://jackie-chanel.com
To join Jackie Chanel’s secret Facebook group “The Takeover” just friend her and let her know you want to be a part of The Takeover!
Jackie Chanel is a contemporary romance author and self proclaimed writing ninja. When she's not writing, arguing with her muse (McKenzie) or daydreaming, she can often be found drooling over the latest Chanel shoes or playing around on her tumblr blog with a cup of coffee in hand and a little John Mayer or Jimi Hendrix in the background.
Also from Jackie Chanel:
Untitled
Change of Heart
Our Indie Experience (an Indie Book Collective Anthology)
Coming Soon:
Unsung
A Hustler’s Promise II: Promises Kept
Caprice
Back In One Piece
Summer’s Song
Sneak Peak
UnSung
Coming April 2012
I rolled over and looked at my alarm clock. I couldn't even stop the disgusted groan that escaped my mouth as I looked at the blue digital numbers taunting me.
5:00am
I closed my tired eyes and listened to the mellow jazz composition that was playing softly from my iPod. It was supposed to help me sleep.
It wasn’t working.
I haven't had a good night's sleep in days. Two days in fact. Tonight's no different. My mind just isn't going to let me sleep. I sat up and stared into the darkness of my bedroom feeling slightly claustrophobic. My modest townhouse was eerily quiet. Summer wasn't even making her usual gurgling sounds that she makes as she sucks her pinky finger while she sleeps. I decided to check on her.
My bare feet padded down the hallway on the cool smooth hardwood floors until I reached my daughter's princess paradise. My baby...curled up in the fetal position on her toddler bed, holding her brand new baby doll tighter than I've ever seen her hold that thing. Only two years old and she's already independent enough to be sleeping in a toddler bed. I don't know who she gets it from, me or her father.
Her father.
I sat down on the plush pale pink carpet next to my child's big girl bed that her father insisted that she have. Her tiny night light cast a light blue hue across her peaceful face.
Summer looks just like her father when she sleeps.
I groaned softly because the last thing I need is for her to wake up at five in the morning. Summer's father...he must really hate me right now. I hate me right now. I shouldn't have left him there to deal with his grief alone. I should be with him, comforting him, being the friend that he needs.
It wouldn't be enough. I know that and Aiden knows that. He wants so much more from me, more than I'm willing to give. He just doesn't want to listen to me. He doesn’t want to admit that we can't be together. He knows it...he has to know...that I'm right.
Still, I shouldn't have left him. His father died, for God's sake. How in the hell could I leave him like that? He would have never done that to me. I'm always preaching how important friendship is and how he needs to be a better friend and look at what I did.
Yeah, he probably hates me. I hate me.
This is the reason why I can't sleep. No amount of Ambien, vodka, or weed is going to silence my guilty conscience so why bother? Instead of trying to go back to sleep, I powered on my laptop and made a pot of herbal tea.
Fifty-seven emails and not a single one from the person I need to talk to. However, a dozen of them were from my agent, Jade, with a ton of styling jobs for me. I replied in a single email that I'll take them all. Work is all I can do. Work is the only thing that will occupy my mind at this point. Besides, I haven't actually pulled out my sketch book and designed anything since I created Erica's dress for the Grammys a few months ago.
So much for Sunny Rain Designs. The $100,000 Aiden gave me a few years ago is still sitting in my bank account earning interest. Not a penny has been spent on me starting my own line and opening my boutique.
Sometimes, I really disappoint myself.
I answered emails and drank hot tea until the sun rose and brightened up my dreary townhouse. A tall shadow made its way up my walkway, in a rush as usual. I banged my head against the dining room table and groaned. I really don't need this today, especially at seven o'clock in the morning.
Using her key, my other best friend and equal pain in the ass, walked right into my house.
"Sunny! What the hell are you doing here?" Erica screeched and dropped her oversized Gucci bag on the floor.
"This is my house," I answered. "And please be quiet before you wake up my child."
"No, for real," Erica said as she scooped up her bag and sat down across from me at the dining room table. "What the hell are you doing here? You're supposed to be in Mt. Vernon for two more days and then L.A for a week."
"Are you my personal assistant now?" I grumbled.
Erica rolled her eyes and followed me into the living room.
Erica Steele has been my best friend for as long as I can remember. My first childhood memory is of us standing in front of my mother's floor-length mirror pretending to be Diana Ross. She has always been there whenever I've needed her. But with a friendship as strong as ours, there have been many fights, arguments, and hissy fits of epic proportions. Besides Aiden, Erica is the most annoying person that I know. I love her more than I love myself sometimes.
"What are you doing here?" I questioned her as she picked up the remote control and turned on E! News, ruining my temporary serenity.
"Aren't you supposed to be in L.A recording your album?"
"I can't record with my producer in Mt. Vernon and my executive producer here in Atlanta," she stated. "We're going to stop recording while Aiden is going through this."
I nodded though I know she didn't see me. She's right. Aiden is in no type of mental capacity to help her with her album. When I left, he could barely eat. Oh God! Why did I leave him?
"So...best friend," Erica spoke up with her eyes still glued to the television. "I'm only going to ask you one more time before I call Aiden, Sara, or Delilah and find out why you're home. What's going on?"
"I couldn't stay there, E," I sighed. "You know I'm not good with funerals and sad people. It was too much. I had to get out of there."
Erica's eyes widened and she glared at me with more contempt in her eyes than I could handle.
"Do not," she said slowly, "do not tell me that you left Aiden in Mt. Vernon, alone, to deal with his father's death because you can't deal with sad people." She shook her head.
"Don't tell me that, Sunny. That's low, even for you."
"It was too much," I protested. "And you know how Aiden is-"
"Don't even go there," Erica interrupted. "I know exactly how Aiden is. And I know how he gets when he's going through something that he can't handle." She put her hands against her head and rubbed her temples.
"In a day he's going to be a walking bottle of tequila," she moaned. "And you kno
w what's going to happen with him in Chicago in a drunken stupor."
I grimaced. Aiden swears up and down he doesn’t have a drinking problem, but we all know how he likes to drown all of his problems in a bottle of tequila and chase it with a bottle of vodka.
"My aunt said that his dad wrote him a letter before he died. What did it say?" Erica asked.
I scowled. Erica is too damn nosy.
The memory of Aiden's reaction to his father's letter burned in my heart. He looked like a little boy lost as he held the three page letter to his chest and wept like a kid. His tears tugged at my heart.
You are my son and I love you.
You are my hero.
Aiden had a rough relationship with his father up until two months before he died of colon cancer. He never thought his dad loved or respected him. He always thought he was a huge disappointment to his father, no matter how rich and famous he became.
It hit him so hard when he found out that his father really did love him. I've never seen a man that emotionally distraught in my life. I couldn't console him. I didn't know what to do. What do you say when a man is crying in your arms because his dad will never know how much he loved him? I don't know.
"Sunny!" Erica yelled. "What did the letter say?"
"You are so nosy! That's Aiden's letter. Stay out of his business."
"Why do you get to know and I don't?" she pouted.
I didn't answer. Instead I listened to the baby monitor as my daughter woke up. Leaving Erica stewing in her own funk over me not revealing what Aiden's letter said, I went upstairs to get my baby.
Erica is a sweet girl and I know she'd do anything for me or Aiden. She's a hell of a musician too. She's been playing in Aiden's band for nine years. She and Aiden have a decent friendship, a brother and sister type of relationship. I know that they had their little sexual escapade back in the day but that's been over. Sometimes I get the feeling that Erica thinks that her relationship with Aiden is more than it actually is.
They're friends and she's signed to his record label. She plays in his band. That's it. Still, with all the time that they spend together, making music and touring, she's not me. Erica is not as close to Aiden as she thinks she is. She is not privy to the same information as me. She doesn’t know everything about him like I do.
I am his best friend and it's me that Aiden loves...always has been. He wants to be with me.
I'm afraid he's going to hate me when he finds out that Summer is his daughter and I've been keeping this secret from everyone for over two years.
Aiden is going to kill me.
A Hustler's Promise: Some Promises Won't Be Broken Page 27
