When I returned home, I turned the mute off on my phone. I always turned the ringer off during class because I didn’t want to be that person who embarrassed themselves by having their ringtone blaring in class, bringing the lecture to a halt, and quite possibly the ire of the professor upon him or her. I saw that James had sent me a text. It read:
“We’re still out on exercises, and it looks like we’ll be done late. I’ll call you in the morning. Between now and then, just remember I’m thinking about the taste of your sweet lips on mine.”
I grinned to myself. He was so totally different than my first impression of him. Sure, he could still be as obnoxious as all get-out, but deep down, he was a soft-hearted romantic. I didn’t think too many people got to see that side of him. I was grateful that he was letting me see it.
I prepared a late dinner for myself--a bowl of minestrone soup with some sourdough rounds on the side. It was times like this when it was late and quiet in the house, when I still felt a little bit of that old sadness. It was lonely at night. Eating alone didn’t remind me of the time after Vance’s passing because I almost never ate back then when I was alone. No, it reminded me of those lonely nights when there was a wide gulf between Vance and me. When he was sick and I didn’t know it, and he was at the office at all hours. Nights like this, I would be reminded of my confusion and sorrow from those days. Our reconciliation had, of course, made things better, and certainly I came to make sense out of those times, but I still identified loneliness with those days.
I finished up my meal and put the dishes into the dishwasher. I turned the machine on and switched the light off in the kitchen. Making my way to the bedroom, I turned out all the other house lights. My thoughts wandered back to my lunch with Justin and Delia. I was put off by both their actions. Was I jealous? Was that the emotion I was feeling? I pondered the idea as I prepared myself for bed. I didn’t feel especially territorial over Justin. I was confident of his position in my life and his feelings for me. Wasn’t I? Then why did his flirtation back with Delia bother me? It wasn’t just because it was uncharacteristic for him.
And Delia. I had to wonder if she was really the kind of person I should be friends with. I liked her up to this point, I liked her a lot. She was witty, funny, and just a little bit crazy like my other friends. So what put me off about her?
As I climbed into bed, I decided my feelings were just to be attributed to my uneasiness and uncertainty about my future with Justin. I was still worried that something might harm our friendship. Since I didn’t know what I was feeling towards him now besides a newfound attraction, I didn’t know how to interpret his interaction with Delia. Satisfied that it was nothing to worry about, I shut my eyes and fell asleep with no difficulty.
Ten
At the ungodly hour of five o’clock the following morning, I received the call from James. As my phone was ringing, I fumbled for it on my nightstand in the dark.
“Hello,” I said, sleepily.
“Oh my god, Kitten. It’s noon, what are you doing still in bed?” he exclaimed.
I peered at my alarm clock. “It’s not noon, it’s closer to midnight.
I heard his amused chuckle down the line. “Thought I’d get you with that one.”
“James, it’s barely dawn. I may be mostly asleep, but I can still see. What are you doing calling me before I’m human? And don’t call me Kitten,” I mumbled.
“What time do you think I get up? I have to be at work at six. I told you I’d call you in the morning.”
“I thought you meant normal people hours. Like ten a.m.!”
“Babe, I’ll probably be in the air by then.”
“Okay, okay. Let me get up and get some coffee. Until then you may speak, but I can’t guarantee I’ll be able to comprehend anything you say.”
I dragged myself out of bed and into the kitchen. I made myself a cup of coffee with my beloved Keurig while James talked nonsense in my ear. I sat at the kitchen table and began sipping my coffee as fast as I could. I would have taken it into the living room and sat on the couch, but I was afraid of getting too comfortable and falling asleep on James.
“Okay, I’ve set up my caffeine IV drip. How are you?” I said, sounding a little more human.
“I am great for talking to you, even if you are a bit grumpy,” he teased. “I actually am sorry for having to call so early, but I wanted to keep my promise to you, and I didn’t know if I’d get a chance to call later in the morning. I fully expected my call to go to voicemail.”
“Awww, that’s actually thoughtful in a way. Next time, just send a text unless it’s an emergency. You know, like if you are on fire or something.”
“You should know by now I’m always on fire when it comes to you.”
“No James, that wasn’t cheesy at all.” I said dryly.
He laughed. “Note to self, Mimi doesn’t like cheese. Anyway, I know your birthday is on Saturday, and if you don’t already have plans, I’d like to make some with you.”
“My best girlfriend is flying out here from New York for the weekend. I’m not sure what we’re going to do, but you’re welcome to join us at some point.”
“I’d love to meet your friend, so I will say yes, but I want to do something special for you, too. I already have a plan in the works,” he said. “Let me know what you and your friend plan to do. I can come down any time on Saturday, or even Friday night if you prefer, although I wouldn’t be there until about eight p.m. that day.”
I gave the idea a few seconds thought since my brain still wasn’t functioning at maximum capacity. “Laurel gets in early on Friday, so I’ll send you a text once I know the plan. I think Saturday would probably be best though. It’ll give us a chance to catch up.”
“Perfect. I’ll look forward to your text then, but you know if the spirit moves you to give me a call between now and then, I might not mind that,” he said.
“I’ll give you a call tonight since I don’t have class.” I replied, smiling to myself. “It’ll probably be a bit late, though. I have dinner plans with a friend every Wednesday evening.”
“Don’t worry about the time, I’m a night owl. I’ll be up until about midnight. Okay, I have to run now before I’m late. Be a good girl and go back to bed. Can’t have you missing out on your beauty sleep.”
“That’s for damned sure. If you saw me right now, you’d say I need at least a day or two’s worth.”
He blew me a kiss and the line went dead. I wondered if the man knew how to say goodbye. Then I did exactly as he told me and went to bed and stayed there until nine o’clock.
After rising and doing a little tidying up in the kitchen, I thought about calling Delia. We were supposed to get together for our little study group if you could call two people a group. I was sure she needed to catch up after missing class the night before and could use my help, but I was feeling a little ambivalent about her behavior during lunch the day before. I didn’t want to hold it against her before I really got to know her, in case she was just being playful, but she also hadn’t really endeared herself to me. As I was contemplating it, I received a call from her.
I picked up the phone with, “Hey, I was just thinking about calling you.”
“Beat you to it, then. I was wondering if you still wanted to get together today to study.”
I had no good reason to tell her no so I agreed, and we arranged to have her come to my house at two.
I spent the next few hours doing laundry and organizing my notes into a document on the computer so they made some kind of sense, and I could give a copy to Delia. When she arrived, she blew into the house all aflutter and talking a mile a minute.
“Hi there,” she said, sounding out of breath. “I came here from my mom’s house in the East Valley. She doesn’t get around too well so she always finds things for me to do for her while I’m there. She kept me busy during my entire visit, and I didn’t think I’d make it here on time. She also lives alone and my worthless brother never comes
to visit, so I think she gets lonely and craves the company. But here I am! Mostly on time and ready to get started!”
We set up our laptops and books in the living room on the coffee table and both sat on the floor on either side of it. I handed her the notes I printed out for her, explaining that I thought it would help her catch up from the night before.
“This is great and all, but you didn’t need to go to the trouble. I figured we’d just read from the textbook, and I’d get up to speed that way.”
“Look at it this way, you know what the most pertinent information is, and you can make a point to focus your studying on what Angela lectured on.”
“Oh, okay,” Delia replied. “I suppose that does make it easier.”
“What happened to you last night, anyway?” I asked.
She smiled and blushed a little bit. “Well after you left, Justin and I finished lunch, but we exchanged numbers. I went to my mom’s house, but after I left, he and I got together at his place and hung out for a while, then went to see a movie.”
“You went to Justin’s house?” I asked, completely astonished. Justin almost never let women come over to his house, especially not ones he’d just met. I was also more than a little confused as to why he would start getting so friendly with a woman he’d just met, especially when he had professed his feelings about me. I supposed there was no harm in making a new friend, but it just didn’t seem right to me.
“Yes, I did,” Delia said testily. “Is there something wrong with that?”
“Oh no, not at all. I’m not implying anything. He just rarely has visitors. He’s kind of a private person so I’m just surprised.”
“I see. I wouldn’t have guessed. He was very quick to offer.”
I felt deflated. Why would he do such a thing? I had to ask myself again, was I jealous? I didn’t feel that anger that usually burned with jealousy. This just didn’t make sense to me. Remembering the day I met Justin, and Vance’s description of him beforehand, Justin was quiet with new people. He preferred to observe them, quietly scope them out and get a feel for their personality before opening up to them at all. His demeanor at lunch, and now this, was beyond puzzling. Furthermore, I didn’t know if I should ask him about it. Did him telling me that he intended to make me his entitle me to the information even though I was not his? I mean if I was his girlfriend, I’d be all over this. But I wasn’t; we were dating, and while it wasn’t exactly casual, I had been adamant about not being exclusive. I supposed he could do as he pleased, and I shouldn’t concern myself with it until my feelings changed, if they ever did.
I cleared my throat. “Did you have a good time? I’m assuming you must have if you missed class for it.”
She gave me a knowing grin and said, “Wow, did I ever! He’s something else, that guy, and so crazy gorgeous to boot. I’m thinking there’s some real potential here.”
Now that floored me. Why would she think it was okay to go after him when I told her we were seeing each other, much less tell me about it? I didn’t know what to say. She was acting like I’d never even said a word about my involvement with him. I wanted to confront her on it. What kind of friend does that? However, I didn’t want to get into a spat with her, and I didn’t want things to be awkward in class. I decided I’d just do as I had planned all along. Go with the flow and see what developed. I felt only a little bit chicken shit about it.
I swallowed my feelings and said, “That’s nice, Delia.”
“Yes, it is. It was bound to happen, though. I can see these things ahead of time. That’s why I’m convinced there’s real potential. I’m sure he’ll call again to see me tonight. They always do.” she said not too haughtily.
“Oh, I wouldn’t get your hopes up on that. He and I have plans every Wednesday night, but I’m sure if he likes you like that, he’ll call.”
“I’d make back-up plans tonight if I were you, Mimi,” she said with a wink.
I was starting to get really annoyed, so I cleared my throat and forced a tight smile. “Maybe I’ll do that. Now, why don’t we get down to studying?”
We spent the next two hours going over everything she had missed the night before, and only a little bit on the assignment we’d been given. I’d have to take time the next day to work on that and do some more reading before the next class. Hopefully, we wouldn’t have another quiz on the information.
I saw Delia to the door after she packed up her things. She stopped and turned to me as I opened the door and said, “Thanks for everything today, Mimi. I really appreciate it. I thought I had gotten myself into such a jam by skipping last night, but you know, I just couldn’t say no. I’m so glad I have you to depend on.” With that, she gave me a quick hug and was out the door. I closed it behind her feeling relieved she was gone. I made a quick vow to look for more people to join our study group.
I packed up my school stuff and my laptop and put them away. I then tidied up the living room making sure everything was nice and neat before Justin came over. He had seen the house much, much worse back when I couldn’t bring myself to do much other than get out of bed in the morning, but I was normally very organized and didn’t care for clutter. After that, I went and took a shower as he was due to come by at six.
When I stepped out of the shower, my phone was ringing. I scrambled to get to it, but I was dripping wet and slipped on the tiles in the bathroom. I didn’t injure myself other than maybe a bruised backside. I decided whoever it was would leave a message or call back if it was important. My safety obviously depended on me being dry before leaving the bathroom.
Once I was back in my room and dressed in a pair of khaki shorts and a pink spaghetti-strapped top, I picked up my phone. The caller had been Justin. There was no message. Just as I was about to call him back, a text message from him came through. It read:
“Sorry, but I’m not going to be able to make it tonight. Something has come up that I have to take care of. Maybe we can reschedule for Friday since you have class tomorrow night?”
I sunk down onto my bed as I read the message again. I guessed Delia had been right after all. I had to admit to myself that this time I was a little bit jealous, and my feelings were hurt. Justin had declared Wednesday pizza and beer night back when I was recovering from Vance’s death. We’d only skipped them a handful of times in three years. To think he was ditching me for some new girl stung. It would have bugged me even if we weren’t seeing each other. Maybe not as much, of course, but what mattered was that it did now.
I sent him a text back:
“Sorry to hear that. I can’t do Friday since this is the weekend Laurel is in town. I’ll see you next week. Talk to you soon.”
If I expected some kind of response from him, I didn’t get it.
Delia cornered me in the classroom Thursday night just before we were scheduled to begin. She was bursting with energy and knowing smiles. “Hi, Mimi! I just wanted to say I’m sorry for wrecking your plans last night.” She giggled. “Oh, who am I kidding? I am totally thrilled that he called me!”
My pride demanded that I look unaffected, so I just smiled and giggled with her. “Don’t worry, Delia. I followed your advice and made other plans.”
She put her hand on my arm, and said, “Oh, I’m so relieved. I was afraid you were going to get mad. He told me how your Wednesday night “dates” (yes, she used the finger quotation marks!) have helped to keep your loneliness at bay since your husband died. He’s such an awesome guy to keep doing that for you even now.”
“Delia, we’re like best friends. He doesn’t do it out of pity,” I said, affronted.
She waved her hand in front of her face. “Whatever. You know what I meant.”
Angela called our attention to her, thus saving me from what was on its way to becoming a very unpleasant conversation. I spent the next two hours paying rapt attention to the lecture and taking copious notes. Delia just sat there, drumming her fingers on her desk, chin in her other hand, looking like she was daydreaming. Mostly I
ignored her.
After class, she grabbed my arm. “Hey, how would you like to go get a drink? I want to tell you all about my evening last night. I promise to give juicy details.”
I took a deep breath and held it for a few seconds. I forced a smile. “Thanks for the offer, Delia, but I was out pretty late last night. I’m tired and I think I’ll just go home and go to bed. Maybe some other time?”
“Oh sure! I’m sure I’ll have even more to tell you by next week! She picked up her purse, gave me a little finger-wave, and dashed out the door.
It was about nine forty-five when my phone rang. It was Justin. I debated not picking up because I was still irritated about Delia. I didn’t want him to know anything was wrong though, or even that I knew about it since he hadn’t been forthcoming to me in his message the night before. I didn’t want to ignore him, though. He was still my best friend, and as far as I knew, things between us hadn’t changed.
“Hey there,” I said brightly when I answered.
“Hey, yourself,” he said, chuckling. “How are you doing?”
“Everything is great. I just got home from class and was about to get ready for bed.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t make it last night,” he said, sounding like he truly meant it.
“Oh, you just wanted to get out of my selection,” I teased. “You knew I was going to make you watch a rom-com this week.”
“I forgot all about that. In that case, I’m not sorry.” He laughed. “I’m also sorry I forgot about Laurel coming in. Which means I also forgot this weekend was your birthday. I don’t know how it slipped my mind. I already have your present and everything. When does Laurel fly out? I’d really like to take you out to dinner to celebrate the big three-oh.”
Fighting Perfection (The Perfection Series Book 2) Page 16
