Rodeo Dust

by Vannatter, Shannon Taylor;

  Red-hot fire coursed through her veins, and she whirled toward him. “A bull put you in that bed.”

  “Listen, sweetheart, I learned a lot this time. Dad made me watch the tape a zillion times last night. I know what went wrong. Don’t worry.”

  “This time? I can’t believe you want to ride one of those. . .beasts, maybe even the same one that tried to kill you.”

  “It’s a concussion and a dislocated shoulder. That’s all.”

  “You didn’t see the murderous look in that bull’s eyes. I did, and I don’t want to see it again.”

  “Let’s get married.”

  Tears filled her eyes and no words came. The bed creaked, and she felt him standing behind her. She turned to face him. He pulled her into his arms. She savored the embrace—the feel of him one last time—then pulled away.

  “If you go back to the rodeo, I won’t be there.”

  Clay frowned. “So that’s it?”

  “That’s it—the rodeo or me.” If not for the pain in her chest, the words would sound comical. But it wasn’t funny, only heartbreakingly serious.

  “Well then.” Anger hardened his handsome features. “Maybe I’ll see you around.”

  Head held high, she stalked out of his room and downstairs. Thankfully, she didn’t run into either one of his parents.

  She hurried to her car and started the engine. Taking deep, slow breaths, she turned onto the highway.

  Her vision blurred. A mile down the road, she had to pull over.

  ❧

  “Rayna, I hope you’ll join us for supper,” Mama called from the hall.

  Clay wiped his eyes.

  Mama stepped in the doorway. “Did she leave already? Oh doll baby, what’s wrong?” She knelt beside his bed.

  “She’s gone, Mama.”

  “No, that girl loves you. You’ll work it out.”

  “She gave me an ultimatum.”

  “Her or the rodeo? And you picked the rodeo.”

  He nodded. It didn’t make much sense. Choosing a bull over the beautiful Christian girl he loved. But if he gave up the rodeo now—because she wanted him to—they’d both be miserable. But. . .more miserable than now?

  Footsteps sounded in the hall. Clay looked up.

  Mel filled the doorway. “Hey, everything all right in here?”

  Clay swiped his tears. “Sure. What’s up? Where’s Lacie?”

  “Downstairs. Her ankles have been swelling, so I put her in that big recliner, made sure her feet were up.”

  “I’ll go see about her.” Mom patted Clay’s leg.

  Though the light in Mel’s eyes remained bright, the lines around his mouth seemed strained. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

  Sounded serious. “What? Is it twins?”

  “I’m retiring. After this season—win or lose.”

  Clay swallowed hard. “You okay with that?”

  Mel nodded. “I’ve been praying about it. It’s the right thing. Sometimes you gotta do what’s right for the woman you love. And I’m tired. If I could rodeo every Friday and Saturday night at the Stockyards like we used to before we made it big, I might stay. But we’ve hit the big time. We’re expected to make the Cinch finale again. My heart’s just not in it anymore.”

  “Did she ask you to quit?”

  “Nope.” Mel settled into the chair beside Clay. “I’ve been trying to talk her into starting a family for over five years, but I thought she wasn’t interested. We finally hashed it out back in October. By then, she was already two months along, and I learned she wanted kids as much as I do. But she was afraid something might happen and she’d be left to raise our children alone. She’s more important than the rodeo, and I don’t want to be on the road while my kid grows up without me.”

  “I’m really happy for you.” Clay swallowed the lump in his throat. “It won’t be right competing without you next year.”

  “Maybe you’ll win more.” Mel slapped him on the back, thankfully on his good side.

  ❧

  Rayna worked even more hours, hoping to forget.

  Clay was decidedly back in the saddle. Over the last few weeks, Rayna caught glimpses of him on television. Despite dislocating his shoulder again during a rough ride, Clay was determined to make it to the Cinch Series finale again.

  His print ads were in every magazine she happened to thumb through, and her television seemed to only play his commercials. By early March, she’d stopped turning it on.

  Instead she stared at his ad on her computer at work. She pulled it up at least once a day. Just to torture herself.

  “Hey, you okay?” Gabby stood in the doorway with Adam. The concern in her voice didn’t touch the light in her eyes.

  “Sure.” Rayna closed the ad. “You two look ecstatic.”

  “Look!” Gabby surged forward, holding out her left hand. A sparkling diamond graced her ring finger. “Can you believe it? He gave it to me at lunch.”

  Rayna gasped. “That’s awesome.”

  Gabby twirled across the office. “I kind of had a thing for Adam from the moment I saw him.”

  “You did?” Adam’s brow rose. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “I was waiting, and waiting, and waiting for you to notice me.” Gabby kissed his cheek.

  Rayna hugged her. “I’ve never seen you so happy. Have you set a date?”

  “April tenth. That only gives me a month to get everything together, but I’ve been waiting for Adam my whole life. Why wait any longer? Will you be my maid of honor?”

  “Of course I will. Please don’t make me wear a stupid-looking dress.”

  “It’s tradition. Organza froufrou. See you later. I won’t get any work done today.” Gabby kissed Adam’s cheek again and bounced out the door.

  “Congrats.” Rayna hugged him. “Sorry. I’ve been rather self-absorbed.”

  “I would say distracted.”

  “Just because my romance fell apart doesn’t mean I can’t be happy for you. In fact, I’m thrilled.”

  He grinned. “Me, too.”

  “If only you two had listened to me sooner, you could have been this happy all along. Just say it—Rayna was right.”

  “This time—Rayna was right.” Adam laughed and turned toward his office.

  ❧

  Sunday morning, Rayna stood at her closet door trying to decide what to wear to church. Her phone rang. “Hello?”

  “It’s Durlene Warren.” Clay’s mother didn’t sound her usual happy-go-lucky self.

  A chill skittered up Rayna’s spine.

  thirteen

  “What’s wrong?” Rayna’s heart pounded. “Is Clay all right?”

  “Physically, yes.”

  Squeezing her eyes shut, she blew out a big breath.

  “But Mel Gentry died at the rodeo last night.”

  She gasped. Nausea turned her stomach.

  “Where is Clay?”

  “At the ranch.”

  “I’ll be right there.” She dressed quickly, grabbed her purse, and hurried to her car.

  The city girl had stayed away from the cowboy and the rodeo for almost a month, but now he needed her. Not to mention poor Lacie, whose worst nightmare had come true.

  Rayna trembled. Without a doubt, she knew Clay and Lacie had both witnessed Mel’s death.

  She hadn’t known him long or even well, yet her hands shook. Pressure welled in her chest and lodged a lump in her throat. Poor Clay, Lacie, and Mel’s fatherless child.

  Durlene and Ty met her at the door. “Oh Rayna. I’m so glad you came. He’s in his suite. He needs you.”

  She followed Ty up the stairs.

  “Son, there’s someone here to see you.” Ty stopped halfway up. “Your mama’s making some herb tea. Tastes like the dickens, but it’ll help settle frayed nerves. I’ll bring it up in a bit.” He motioned Rayna ahead. “Thanks for coming.”

  Clay sat facedown at his kitchen table, his back toward her.

  Maybe she shouldn’t have com
e. They hadn’t parted on good terms. At such a horrible time in his life, she might be the last person he wanted to see. But it was too late.

  He turned to her. Shock registered in his eyes. He stood, broken, shoulders sagged, and took a step toward her.

  Relieved, she closed the gap between them. This time, she provided comfort. Or tried to, as his sorrow soaked her silk blouse. “I’m so sorry.”

  “It wasn’t even a bull,” he mumbled. “A bronc and not even one of the wilder ones.”

  “Come sit down. How’s your shoulder?”

  “Better. Mel was planning to quit after this season.” He settled on a tall bar stool.

  She claimed the one by him. “Where is Lacie? How is she?”

  “A wreck. Her parents are there. I should be there.”

  “Not like this.”

  “Don’t guess I’d be much use to anybody.” He leaned forward, facedown on the breakfast bar. “I held it together for her last night, but today it’s hitting me full force.”

  “I honestly don’t know what to say.”

  “You being here helps—more than you’ll ever know.”

  She rubbed the tensed muscles along the back of his neck then shifted off the stool to embrace him.

  He shuddered, and his tears soaked her shoulder again.

  ❧

  The next day, Rayna knocked on the door of the ranch-style house with the bright turquoise door while Clay held the bowl of chicken soup she’d made.

  A woman answered. A dark-haired carbon copy of Lacie.

  “Hi, Star, how is she?”

  “Not good. How ’bout you?”

  Clay shook his head. “This is Rayna. She and Lacie sat through a few rodeos together.”

  “Nice to meet you.” Star’s hand trembled as she clasped Rayna’s. “I’m Lacie’s older sister. Come on in. She’s in her room. Won’t come out. Mama and Daddy are with her.”

  Rayna gestured toward the bowl Clay held. “If she’s sleeping, we can leave the soup and come another time.”

  “Trust me. She’s not sleeping.” Star ushered them to the kitchen decorated with sage and copper roosters. Clay set the pot in line with the others on the marbleized counter.

  “Do you think I should stay here?” Rayna whispered.

  “She’ll be glad to see you. She’s always liked you and prayed we could work things out.”

  Their gaze held for a moment.

  Star led them down the hall lined by Mel’s rodeo photos.

  Curled in a ball on the bed, Lacie pressed a pillow against her bulging stomach. Her parents hovered nearby.

  Rayna hesitated in the doorway. Should she even be here? She didn’t know Lacie well, but Clay had wanted her to come. Now she felt like an intruder.

  “Lacie, Clay’s here,” her mother cooed.

  Blue eyes opened. “I don’t have any more tears.”

  Clay sat beside her. “Me neither.”

  “I’m glad you came.”

  “We’ll be close, sugar.” Her dad patted her arm.

  “I think I’ll go, too.” Rayna turned away.

  “Rayna.” Lacie sat up and reached for her hand. “Don’t go. He was gonna quit. At the end of this season.”

  “He loved you very much.”

  “Clay, would he have been happy? Without the rodeo?”

  “Yes.” He stroked her tangled blond hair.

  “I keep worrying he might not have wanted to quit. Maybe he was distracted. Maybe that’s what caused—”

  “No. He was looking forward to a new phase in his life. He was at peace with being a husband and father.”

  “I wish he’d gotten the chance.” She clasped her swollen abdomen. “Now this little fella won’t know his daddy.”

  Despite her earlier claim, Lacie’s tears spilled.

  Clay gathered her in his arms.

  ❧

  On the way back to the ranch, Clay glanced at Rayna. Her profile was unreadable. He still couldn’t believe she was there. More than anything, he wanted to lay his head in her lap and bawl like a baby.

  Instead, he tried to clear his head, to put scattered thoughts in order. Don’t say the wrong thing. “I’m glad you’re here.”

  She didn’t respond.

  “Why’d you come?” Smooth.

  “You asked me to.”

  “No. I mean to the ranch yesterday. When you heard about Mel, why’d you come?”

  “Because I knew you were hurting. I wanted to help.”

  Okay, she still cares. “What does this mean for us?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Come on, Rayna. Don’t make me pull it outta you.”

  “I honestly don’t know. I’m here because you lost your best friend. You’ve helped me through some rough patches. Now I’m here for you. And Lacie. After the funeral, I don’t know.”

  “Fair enough, I guess.”

  “Would you rather I leave?”

  “No.” He reached for her hand.

  She entwined her fingers with his. “Let’s just get through the next few days. Is the baby a boy?”

  “Little booger’s always turned so they can’t tell. Guess Lacie’s hoping for a boy. It’s not fair.”

  “No, it’s not.”

  “Mel had so much to live for.” His vision blurred. “Everything they wanted was within grasp. Now. . .he’s gone.”

  “Clay, pull over. You’re in no shape to drive.”

  With tears dripping from his chin, he slowed then eased onto the shoulder of the two-lane highway. Rayna put her arms around him as sobs racked his soul.

  “I mean, I know it was his time.” With his chin resting on top of her head, Clay relished the feel of her comfort. “If he hadn’t been at the rodeo, it could’ve been a car wreck. If he’d have stayed home all day, the roof would’ve fallen in. It was his time. I just wish it hadn’t been.”

  “I also think God gives us good sense. And if we don’t use it, we might run out of time sooner than He planned.”

  He pulled away to look at her. “You really believe that?”

  “Yes.”

  “You know, there comes a point when you have to give it all to God. He’s big enough to protect us. From a horse, or a bull, or our own stupidity.” He cupped her silky cheek in his hand. “I love you, and I really need you right now. I need to know you’re here for the long haul.”

  She swallowed hard.

  Clay pulled her into his arms. Grief welled in his chest. For Mel. For Lacie. For their unborn child. And for the woman he couldn’t have. As soon as the funeral was over, Rayna would walk out of his life. Again.

  ❧

  That evening, Rayna left the ranch house just behind Brother Timothy and his wife. “Brother Timothy, could I speak with you for a moment?”

  “Of course.”

  “Take your time. I’ll be in the car.” Joan left them alone.

  “Something on your mind?”

  She hesitated. “It seems silly to bother you with something so trivial.”

  “Nothing is unimportant to God. Here, let’s sit down.” He ushered her to a well-lit redwood picnic table.

  “I’m in love with a bull rider.”

  “And Clay is in love with you.” Brother Timothy frowned. “Both Christians. The perfect match, but the rodeo is a nightmare for you.”

  “We broke up, and I’ve been miserable.”

  “He has, too.”

  “Mel’s death reiterates all the reasons we can’t be together. I’m trying to be here as a friend, because Clay’s hurting, but being near him”—she gulped a deep breath—“it’s difficult.”

  “Maybe more therapy would help you come to terms with his line of work.”

  “I don’t think the rodeo is something I can ever come to terms with. I can’t commit to a lifetime of worrying whether or not he’ll come home every weekend.”

  “There’s no guarantee any of us will see tomorrow no matter how tame our lifestyle.” He pulled a small Bible from inside his jacket
and flipped through the pages.

  “Ecclesiastes 3:1–4 says, ‘To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.’ ”

  He ran his fingers over the leather cover. “Everyone has a time to die. Just because a man has a dangerous occupation, it doesn’t mean he’ll die young.”

  “Even if they do stupid, risky things?”

  Brother Timothy chuckled. “If that were the case, no male would get past the teenage years.”

  “But don’t you think if we’re determined to take un-necessary chances, God might decide to shorten our time?”

  “You think Mel died early because he tempted fate?”

  Rayna shrugged. “Maybe.”

  “I don’t believe in fate. I believe the only time God shortens a life span is if we know Him but don’t live for Him. If we confess Him as Savior but live like the devil, then He might decide to call us home a bit early so we don’t turn any of our brothers down the wrong road.

  “I’m not saying every Christian who sins will die young. If that were the case, there wouldn’t be any of us left.” Brother Timothy smiled. “How’re your folks?”

  “Married and happier than I’ve ever seen them. They go to church every time the doors are open. I can’t tell you how much we appreciate your help.”

  “I’m glad they’re doing well.” He patted her shoulder. “Right now we’re mourning and weeping, but we need to get back to the laughing and dancing. I’ll pray for you and Clay.”

  “Thank you. See you at the funeral.”

  ❧

  At the large church the Gentrys attended, visitation was surreal. People laughed and told stories, while Mel’s body lay in his casket. Even in the most trying of times, God blessed the grieving with good memories.

  Seated on a navy blue pew, Lacie looked pale and tired. Yet she greeted each visitor and listened to every story with a strained smile pasted on her face. Occasionally, a shared tale touched her heart and the smile reached her eyes. Her family and Clay kept close watch for the tiniest crack in her composure, ready with a shoulder or a hug.

  The next day the funeral looked like a dramatic rodeo. Cowboys and cowgirls dressed in black made up most of the attendees. Lacie had insisted Clay and Rayna sit in the family section. It seemed right for Clay to be there, but not Rayna. Instead, she sat with some of the women she’d met at the few rodeos she’d attended. Natalie kept her distance. Suited Rayna just fine.