“Okay, I’d love to go out. We can go to the lake house. I haven’t been in a while.” I step back and watch as a grins slides across his face.
His eyes skim down my body. “Are you going to get dressed, or are you going in that?”
I glance down, realizing I’m standing in a nightgown with no bra. “God, what is it with people walking in on me in lingerie? Between you and Cali…” I shake my head and walk out of the office.
“It’s that incredibly hot body of yours. It calls to the suckers,” he says.
“You’re crazy. I am pretty sexy, though.” I giggle, trying to make light of my current state of undress.
“Fuck yeah, you are,” he responds on a chuckle. “Super fucking sexy.”
That makes me flush. I’m flirting with danger. Something inside me is warning me that things with Gray are skimming the line between what Cooper can and can’t handle. As I swipe a summer dress off the hanger and a bathing suit from a drawer, I think of what Cooper’s doing. I see the blonde curled in his arms, plastered to his body, and my gut clenches. No, no Cooper today. Today, I’m going to swim, relax, and spend time with Gray.
If my husband wants me, he’s going to have to come get me.
We pull up to the lake house about an hour later, after making several stops to get food, liquor, and supplies. I grab some stuff out of the truck and tug my purse over the shoulder of my pink sundress. Cooper and I bought the lake house five years ago. It was meant to be a getaway house, a place for little honeymoons to keep our relationship intimate and spicy.
I remember the first time I saw it. I fell in love… unequivocally in love.
“What do you think?”
I tip my head, seeing Cooper’s smiling face. “I love it.”
“What do you love about it?” he asks, pulling my back flush against his broad chest.
I look at the house, enamored with everything about it. “I love the huge windows, the bright red door, and the wraparound porch.”
“What else?”
I flip my eyes up to his, a smile flirting on my lips. I point toward the right side of the front porch where a beautiful cedar swing hangs. “I love the swing.”
“I love that, too.” His tongue skirts across his mouth and he presses his hips into mine. “I love the thought of what we could do on that swing.”
I giggle, watching his eyes turn hazy. “And what could we possibly do there, Mr. Bailey?”
“I have several ideas, soon-to-be Mrs. Bailey. I also have several ideas of what we could do over there.”
My body warms as I look to where he points. “The willow trees?” Excitement flutters low in my gut.
“Mmmhmm, I’d love to watch you ride me naked under those trees.” He kisses my cheek and nibbles his way to my ear.
“What about the lake?” I whisper, my body burning for him. “Will you make love to me there too?”
“I’d make love to you wherever you’d let me.” His green eyes are filled with love and admiration.
“Does that mean we can have it?”
“Baby, you can have anything you want. If you want this, consider it sold.” He grins and places a kiss on my forehead.
I look back at the house, feeling as though my life’s just beginning. This is a great place to start. A honeymoon house with the love of my life.
It was our place. One that, at the time, I felt was built just for us. I knew we’d be here a lot. The love we’d share in this house would be filled with memories we’d take to our graves.
Little did I know that some of our most painful memories would take place here too.
Gray comes up behind me and swings an arm around my shoulder. I look at him, and he smiles brightly. I smile back and prep myself to go into the place I used to love, one that now holds a mountain of memories I’d rather forget.
“You ready to head in?” he asks.
Trepidation skips through me. “Yeah, I’m ready.” Wanting to come here strikes me as insane. I seem to like putting myself in intensely painful situations.
We head toward the house. I inhale a shaky breath, put the stuff I’m holding down, and grab my keys from my purse. With sweat pebbling between my fingers tips and nerves whipping through me, I grab the cool doorknob, and twist, swinging it open.
“What the fuck happened here?” Grayson asks, startled.
I take in the living room and my heart breaks. It’s the way we left it.
Picture frames are shattered, and pillows are strewn all over. Broken plates cover the dining room table, and beside the sofa two lamps are turned over. The place is a wreck, absolute mayhem. Panic sets in as I close my eyes.
The last time Cooper and I were here, Kayla had been dead for six months.
We were struggling. Not only in our marriage, but in life. We were working nonstop, using it as a way to stay clear of each other. It had taken its toll on us emotionally and physically. The last time we had been intimate was before she had passed. I needed sex from my husband. It was the way we connected, became one. I had tried to be sensitive of his feelings. I knew I had hurt him by not attending the funeral. I had pushed him away. So I had been giving him space.
But that space had turned into mountains, and those mountains were turning into canyons. My entire being, the very center of who I was, was crying out for him. He was my air, and for months I had been deprived. I needed to do something. I needed to find a way to tell him I was sorry, so I suggested a weekend at the lake house. He was hesitant at first but saw the desperation in my eyes, and he eventually agreed.
What was my last ditch effort—an attempt at a reconciliation I’d hoped would spur us forward—turned into the closing hammer that’d demolished my world.
We pull up to the lake house, and excitement soars in me. We sit in the car, and Cooper looks as though he’s contemplating something. His golden hair is tussled, and his tanned skin shines in the sunlight. Gently, I place my hand on his thigh. He looks over and smiles weakly. It looks as though he’s trying to feel the same excitement I do, but he’s failing.
I tuck down my disappointment and force a smile. “Are you okay?”
A knot of tension sparks in his eyes. “Yeah, of course.”
“Hey, let’s just try to relax.” I say, feeling the anxiety rolling off of him. “I just want to spend time with you. That’s it.”
His Adam’s apple moves as he swallows roughly. “Of course, baby. I do too. Let’s go.” He doesn’t meet my gaze as he takes the keys out of the ignition and gets out.
I release a breath as I watch him step out of the car. This will be good. We need this. I chant this to myself as I step out and the warm air wraps its arms around me.
Cooper grabs our bags and nods toward the door. I follow him, waiting for him to unlock and open it. I go straight to the back windows overlooking the iridescent lake. I sigh, reveling in the tranquility that rises from the shallow ripples. It’s always brought me a sense of peace. Coop closes the door and moves into the bedroom to set down our stuff.
A moment later, he strolls into the living room and asks, “Are you hungry?”
I turn toward him and offer a small smile. “Yeah, are you?”
As if on cue, his stomach grumbles, making us laugh. “Can you tell?” He points toward the offending noise and quirks a brow. “Do you want to cook? I brought stuff to make our favorite pizza.”
I feel a lick of fire shoot from my heart through my body. He thought of cooking with me. Yes, it’s a simple thing couples do all the time. But we haven’t spent any time together in months, and even something this small gives me hope.
I miss him. I’ve missed every single thing about him. My eyes trail lazily down the valleys and peaks of his body, of their own volition. I crave him: his heat, his warmth. I crave the touch of my lover, friend, and soul mate.
I haven’t just missed him. I’ve been dying, reaching out for my missing half, the key to my existence.
As my eyes explore him I note some changes. Cooper’s
always been incredibly sexy, but as he’s grown into an adult, he’s aged like a fine wine. His emerald eyes were one of the first things that slayed me. They’re so piercing, it’s as if he can see into every corner of my soul. His rumpled hair, the color of which reminds me of champagne, lays scattered across his forehead and arches along his ears. Its sexy, just fucked look sets my skin aflame. I notice he’s been working out more since Kayla died, and it shows in the heavy lines of his arms and the bunched, corded muscles of his chest and abs. His body is broader, thicker, heavier. It makes my mouth water and my fingers itch to touch. I’m so busy lusting after him that his husky voice startles me.
“You’re staring, Kylie. What are you thinking?”
I look up, embarrassed at being caught. My body, which is hot, gets hotter when I catch a glimmer of lust in his eyes. He knows I want to fuck him.
“There’s no rush, you know?” he says. “Let’s hang out, spend time together, and cook some of my world famous pizza.” He winks and smiles, turning into the kitchen.
I sigh and look at the ceiling. I try to remind myself that we’ll be okay and it’ll happen. There’s no rush. We can take our time. Dinner first. Shaking off the haze of lust, I follow Cooper for some cooking fun.
Two hours later, we sit next to each other, candles lit, pizza and wine served. We chat about everything, from work to Cooper and Grayson’s latest hobby–fishing—to my out-of-control shoe addiction. We laugh and smile, flirt and tease. And while it’s comfortable, some moments seem awkward.
He’s still tender and sweet, but he holds back from me. I see it in his tentative touches and shortened gazes. He’s trying, but he’s not giving me everything. He seems to be struggling with himself. I try not to put too much thought into it and just accept things the way they are, but it hurts. I feel my stomach sink every time he turns his eyes from mine during an intimate moment. I want my husband back. I want the happy-go-lucky guy who couldn’t keep his hands off me. I try to shove the hurt back and just savor my time with him.
“Hey, Kylie, you still here?” he asks, placing his hand over mine.
I’d been so lost in thoughts of us that I missed the last half of the conversation. I look at Coop, my mind all over the place, and feel my heart tumble. I can’t hold back anymore. “I’m sorry, I’ve just really missed you.”
He’s quiet for a moment. Nervous tension cartwheels through me at the pensive look on his face. “Yeah, things have been rough.” His voice swims with remorse as his eyes meet mine. “I’ve missed you too, baby.”
“You have?” My pulse stutters with his confession.
“Yeah, I have.”
“It’s been a long time.”
“I know,” he admits, averting his eyes out the windows to the lake.
“Why?”
His forehead creases at my question. “I don’t know.”
“I need you, Cooper. Please.” Desperation unleashes inside me. I just want a kiss, a touch… anything.
His chest lurches, and he swallows, bringing his eyes back to mine. “Then come here, sweet girl.”
I stand, my chair scraping the floor, and move into his waiting arms. He cradles me in his lap while I bury my face in his neck, inhaling his scent. My heart claws from my chest. Every cell inside me celebrates this homecoming. He is the only man I’ve ever loved, the only man I’ve ever allowed inside my body and my heart. I’ve carried his child within me, and the love I feel for him is interwoven with my very identity.
Without him, I’m nothing.
The last couple of months have been hell. Not only did half my heart die with my baby, the other half died with Cooper. I’ve withered, and my last petal is ready to drop. I stay curled in his lap, not realizing that tears are running unchecked down my face.
My husband’s here… with me. I’m in his arms. He missed me.
“Kylie, baby, can you look at me for a minute?” he whispers, pulling my attention to his.
I remove myself from the hollow of his neck and look into two dark pools of raw sadness. He grasps my face and leans forward, skimming his lips against mine. I almost break when I feel his tongue pass softly across my bottom lip.
I swear, if I died in this exact moment, I’d be okay.
I open my mouth, and he slips inside, caressing my tongue with his. I groan and cling to him as he weaves his fingers through my hair. The kiss is sweet and sinful, igniting a fire inside me. I feel the primal groan that rumbles from his chest all the way to my pussy. I twist in his lap until I’m straddling him, and I feather my fingers through his hair, holding on for dear life.
The kiss becomes desperate, rough. I grind against him. That gets another deep, dark growl, and his hands move from my hair to my hips. He urges me to move against him. I feel his cock, hard and thick, straining against his jeans.
Tingles explode. I want him so badly, he’s the only thing my brain registers. Breaking the kiss, I pull back and look at him. “Please. Please, I need to feel you.”
He groans, his eyes closing, and I watch him expel several labored breaths. When he opens his eyes, a flicker of apprehension in them sears me. My pulse trips and falters. I watch him struggle with something that’s beyond me.
I yearn for his touch. My need is so strong. He can’t ignore it. “I love you,” I whisper, desperate to give him whatever reassurance he needs.
His body trembles, and his eyes fill with tears. “I love you too, always.”
“Then please, please, Cooper.”
He leans forward and kisses me again. I feel his breath, fast and raspy. He stands and grips my ass. I wrap my legs around him, hope running wild, while he carries me to the sofa and lays me down gently. My heart thrashes violently. Our heavy gasps fill the room as basic need and a different kind of tension coil through the air. I hold my breath and lay mesmerized as he, ever so slowly, drags his shirt over his head.
I tremble, nerves prickling my body like millions of tiny needles. I need him.
He gets to his knees, sitting me up. He grips the hem of my blouse and stills, rubbing his nose on mine. I feel the tickle of kisses as he trails them along my cheek to my ear.
“I’m going to take my time,” he whispers. “I want to love you properly.”
I can barely tame the fierce trembling of my body as I nod. He pulls back, looking at me tenderly, and drags off my blouse. I watch as his fingers move to the clasp of my bra. His eyes flick to mine, then back to my chest as he unhooks it and sweeps it off my shoulders. My chest rises and falls, the moment so intense, so full of emotion, that a tear sneaks its way out the corner of my eye. His hands trail up and around my breasts. He groans, making my blood pound forcefully. I begin to sweat from pure need.
Raw, untamed, and unbridled need.
I pant, completely vulnerable and needy. “Please.”
His eyes flash to mine. He pushes me back and undoes the button on my jeans. His eyes burn into mine as lust and hunger ooze off him. His hands slide up my hips and grip the edge of my jeans and thong, dragging them down inch by inch.
Eyes, no longer trained on mine, now linger on my pussy. His breathing intensifies. My hips move of their own accord, silently begging him for more. His hands stroke from my ankles, slowly moving up my legs to my thighs. He stops short of where I need him most. I shut my eyes, urging myself to be patient. I take a deep, calming breath just as I feel pillow-soft lips land at the center of my pubic bone.
Everything in me stills. Completely.
My world tilts and turns as he drags his mouth lower and lower. I can’t breathe, think, or move for fear he’ll stop. I shiver, adrenaline accosting my frame. His lips graze my cleft, his fingers part my folds gently, and his tongue flicks my clit. I cry out, breathless and overwhelmed by the feelings flooding my body in waves so rough they are drowning out every conscious thought.
It’s been almost seven months since we’ve had sex. Since we’ve had any intimacy at all.
“Cooper. God, Cooper,” I moan, unable to contain the ec
stasy.
His head lifts. “I’ve missed you, Kylie. Nothing’s as good as this. Feeling you, feeling what belongs to me. It’s been too long. You taste even better than I remember, baby.”
His eyes glisten like the sun reflecting off a shiny surface, slicing right through me. I want him inside me. I want his cock to fuck me so deep that every anxious, broken, and tormented thought I’ve had over the last six months disappears.
“Cooper, come closer please,” I beg.
“No, not yet. I need to see you come” he says. “I need to feel you let go. I need to taste it. We have time. I don’t want to rush this. Please.”
I nod, but I can’t stop pleading. “Okay, but please…” I can’t get the rest out.
His finger grazes my clit in intoxicating circles, sending me straight to heaven. He pushes his tongue into my core, putting pressure on the tender nub. Fast, hot, blinding heat ignites so fiercely within me that my orgasm strikes without warning. I cry out his name as tears slip from my eyes.
I feel euphoric, blissful, and sated from my Cooper-induced high. I crack my eyes open, catching his lazy grin. My heart falters. My breath catches.
He stands up and strips off his pants and boxers. I freeze. Is this really happening? My body, already burning, hums with renewed excitement. I stare as he turns around, his cock jutting out as hard as lead.
Oh, God. I bite my lip, drawing blood. I’m so lucky to have a husband with a body like his. I crook a finger, urging him closer. I reach for his hand, pulling his body tightly against mine.
His face hovers close, his chest brushing my breasts. “I’ve missed you so much, baby. I know we’ve been having a hard time, but it’s not you. It’s never you. I need you to know that.”
I want to respond, but the feel of his cock sliding through my wet folds and teasing my entrance stops me. He pulls back, and his eyes hold mine prisoner as his heart captures my soul.
Against All Odds Page 5
