Seeing her in the shower tonight gutted me. She’s suffering just as badly as I am. I have the power to fix it. I have the power to change our lives. I need to dig deep and find a way to fight for her the way she seems to be fighting for me. Having her in my arms again is a wake-up call. I could lose her, and I don’t want that to happen.
Grayson said something to me in the office a couple weeks back that scared the living shit out of me.
“What the hell is wrong with you, man?” he seethes.
“What do you mean?” I look at Gray, trying to calm myself down because all I want to do is plant my fist in his face. I’m sick of him meddling in my life.
“You’re going to lose her,” he whispers.
I know what he’s trying to tell me. I see it in the way things are unraveling around us. I just don’t know if I can, or even want things to change between Kylie and me. There’s too much to work through, and I can’t take the risk of her coming back and stabbing me in the heart.
“You know I care about you, bro. I care about her too, though,” he says. “More than you’d care to know.”
My pulse throbs. I feel myself starting to hyperventilate from the rage and jealousy pitted deep in my stomach. It snakes its way right up my fucking spine. Is this bastard trying to make a move on my wife?
“What do you think you’re doing with her, Gray? Because you know you can’t fucking have her,” I snarl. If he goes there, I will hunt him down. “I’ll kill you if you touch her. I trusted you with my wife, but I’m starting to think that was a goddamn mistake.”
He paces, and my pulse spikes as my anger explodes. I slam my fist into the center of my desk, pain shooting straight through my hand. His head swivels around, and his eyes connect with mine.
“Don’t you fucking go there.” The monster I try to keep tucked down deep bubbles out of me hard and fast.
He runs his palm over his face. “What did you expect? What the fuck did you think would happen?” He throws his hands up, his body stiff as his eyes bore into mine. “I’ve been cleaning up after you for so damn long that something was bound to happen. She’s a beautiful, soft-spirited, broken woman. Her heart is pure gold. I can’t help but fall in love with her. I want to see her smile, watch her bloom, and bring back the life that has died in her eyes. I love you, bro, but you don’t deserve her.”
It takes every shred of my self-control to not slam his ass to the ground. The cold hard fact is: he’s right. I’m a fucking piece of shit. I have no one to blame for this situation but myself. I‘ve messed this up bad. I haven’t fought for her, and I’ve let him clean up my shit for me. I know Grayson. This is him giving me my last warning.
“She loves you,” he continues. “I know what she’s done to you, and I know it’s hurt you. Look at me, man. I know what she did to you. I understand.” His voice cracks.
My chest heaves and constricts. I don’t want to talk about this. It’s too painful.
“Just listen to me, Cooper,” he pleads. “Be a man. Be her man. She’s a woman who needs to be nurtured, taken care of, and loved. She’s crying out for you. No one other than you is going to cut it. You need to dig deep and find a way out of this hole you’ve buried yourself in, or else you’re going to lose the one good thing in your life. And once you do, there’s nothing I’m going to do to fix it. I don’t want to take what’s yours, but if you don’t get your shit together, then I’m done standing around.”
When he told me that, it pissed me off. But as messed up as the bastard is, he’s right. I’m going to lose her if I can’t figure out a way to save us. And I’ll be damned if I lose her to him. Tonight was a turning point for me. What direction are we headed in? I have no idea, but after making love to her, I can’t go back.
I snuggle closer, wrapping my body around hers. I close my eyes and focus on the feel of her skin and the smell of her hair. I force myself to relax and enjoy having my baby back in my arms. Tonight was the first time in over two years I’ve been able to make love to my wife. The feelings and thoughts that stir inside me are painful.
I’ve been an asshole. I promised her I’d be there through the good and bad, and when it got rough I gave up. I left her and took the easy way out. I run my hand up and down her back, letting my fingers caress her soft skin. It won’t be easy to move forward.
There’s Layla…
As I glide my hand against her body, reveling in her warmth, my chest aches. This thing I have with Layla is going to hurt her. I don’t want to tell Kylie about it, but I have no choice. If I want my life with her back, then we’ll have to be honest about just how dirty things have become. Our lives have been self-destructing for so long, it’s time to see if we can face things together without running, drowning ourselves and our pain in others.
I’m not the only one who has developed feelings for someone else. Kylie has Gray. I’ve noticed things changing between them, and that kiss they shared at the lake just confirmed my suspicions.
Grayson’s in love with my wife. I don’t blame him. He’s been there for her through all of her moments of grief, and I let him. I even called and asked him to deal with her, take her to appointments and help her with things. He’s been playing ‘man of the house,’ and no man can be around Kylie without seeing the beauty within her. She’s always been one of those girls who has this aura, this vivacious energy that draws you in and doesn’t spit you back out. It was only a matter of time before she trapped him with those big, soulful eyes and addictive, passionate spirit.
The first thing I noticed about my wife was the way she wore her heart on her sleeve. I could always see what she was thinking in the depths of those icy blues. It’s what made me fall in love with her. Those eyes pulled me straight to the edge of bliss and didn’t let me go. She made me want to take care of her and show her the world. When she smiled and laughed, it lit my heart on fire. She gave me a burning contentment that nobody had ever made me feel.
I remember being a sixteen-year-old boy and deliriously in love. Did I know what love was at that age? Probably not, but I knew that she made my world turn. Kylie made me feel alive and ready to take on anything and everything. Even though my feelings for her were young and innocent, maybe even stupid, there was always something that stood out. Something I would’ve bet my life on…
She was handmade for me. I didn’t know how I knew that. I just knew the world was a better place with her by my side. My love for her grew every day. It went from an innocent love, to a mature love, to the marrying kind of love. I wanted to own her, and I wanted her to own me the same way.
I unwrap myself from Ky and sit up, needing to move. My mind’s a mess. She makes a whimpering sound in her sleep. I turn back and run my hand over her cheek. She’s beautiful. I’m a lucky man. I’ve just forgotten how lucky I am. We’ve lost so much time, done so much damage. I run my palm over my face and head to the kitchen for a beer. This woman’s consuming my every waking thought, and to be honest, it’s making me uncomfortable.
Emotions and thoughts I’ve cut off are coming back fast. It wouldn’t take much to become completely wrapped up in her again. I can’t forget the pain. We absolutely can’t go back to “normal” after all this. I can’t say fixing us will be an easy ride, or that we can even do it, but I’ll take the risk. I just hope it doesn’t explode in my fucking face.
Heat radiates against my cheek as I try to roll over and take in my surroundings. I groan, my neck in pain from the uncomfortable position I’m in. I feel hot leather beneath my ass, and scattered in front of me are several beer bottles on the coffee table. I blink a couple times and scrub my hand across my jaw. As I sit up and roll my shoulders in an effort to relieve the ache, I look across the living room and catch a pair of twinkling eyes. Kylie smiles timidly, and my heart stutters, causing my morning wood to throb.
“Hi, sleepy head,” she says softly.
She looks gorgeous curled up on the other sofa in nothing but a thin top and a tiny pair of shorts. Her hair is up, giving m
e a glimpse of her sexy shoulders. I can’t help but drag my eyes down her body. They land on her nipples, which are pushing against the material of her shirt. My already throbbing cock becomes painful. My mouth waters, wanting a taste of her again. I tap that urge down, knowing we need to talk first. I inhale, forcing my eyes away from her chest, and reprimand my dick silently for being an asshole.
“Hey, did you sleep okay?” My voice comes out husky, and I’m sure she can tell I’m turned on by the steel rod straining against my boxer shorts. With what she’s wearing, there’s no fucking way I’ll be able to keep the bastard down.
“Pretty good. You couldn’t sleep?” She points at the empty bottles, and a small smile pulls at the corners of her lips.
“You think that’s funny?” I ask lightly, quirking a brow and rubbing my temples.
“Kind of.” She laughs, leaning all the way back and pushing out her tits.
I swallow, glancing at them, then at her face. I notice a flush covering her cheeks as she crosses her arms to hide her heavenly goods.
“I forgot how uncomfortable this damn sofa can be,” I say, moving my hands from my neck. “I wasn’t tired last night, so I figured I’d have a drink. That obviously turned into a couple.”
Her face lights up, and the little creases at her eyes make her look carefree for just a minute. She laughs again, and the sound stirs my heart. I haven’t heard her laugh in a long time. It reminds me of the good times we had before things got rough, and one moment in particular hits me hard in the gut.
“Oh my God,” Kylie shrieks from the bathroom. “Cooper, oh my God. Get in here now!”
I walk quickly into the bathroom. She stands there holding a little white stick in her shaking hands. My body immediately goes on alert, all the blood rushing to my chest when I look into her glistening eyes.
“We did it,” she whispers, shoving the stick in my direction.
I look at her, then the stick, my throat growing tight. With shaky hands, I take it from her and look down at the two bright pink lines. My already frantic heart hammers harder, and my palms sweat as I look at my wife, then back down again.
“We’re pregnant?” I ask, my voice gruff in disbelief. I want to believe it, but shit! Does this tiny thing really say I’m going to be a father?
“We did it. I took six of them.” She points at the tests lining the counter with a thrilled expression.
I look at them, at all the pink lines, and I can’t stop the pleasure that whips through me. I look into her icy blue eyes, already filled with tears.
“We’re having a baby,” I murmur. “Holy shit, I’m going to be a dad.”
For the last six months, I’ve been fucking my wife like a raging sex addict. Being newlyweds, our sexual drive’s a given, but keeping my hands and dick away from her has been impossible. Her body’s a temple, and she’s my personal goddess that I’ve been happily worshiping twice, sometimes three times a day. The need to have my child growing inside her body settled in as we crossed the threshold on our wedding night. I knew the moment I placed a ring on Kylie’s finger that I wanted her pregnant. I wanted to give her the family we had always dreamed of, and I didn’t want to wait. There was no reason to. The thought of her being the mother to my child was all I wanted.
It was a claim to her that I couldn’t wait to make.
“Yes!” she squeals. “You’re going to be a daddy.”
“Daddy.” I roll the word around my tongue for a second. “I’m going to be a dad.”
She smiles at me as if the sun rises and sets with this news. And it does. In our world, it does. Kylie’s my sun, and finding out she’s pregnant is the dawn of a new day for us as a family. Her face is filled with so much warmth and adoration that I melt in a puddle at her feet. My wife is pregnant with my child. She has a piece of me inside her body.
“You’re going to be a daddy, Cooper Bailey. You’re going to be my baby’s daddy,” she whispers.
I scoop her up, wrapping my arms around her, needing to feel her body against me. She wraps her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist. Warmth floods me, inside and out, as I bury my face in the crook of her neck and laugh. “I can’t believe we did it, Kylie. We’re going to be parents.”
I pull back, and she grasps my face, her eyes blazing with love. God, I’m lucky. I’m the luckiest man in the world.
“I love you. Your baby’s growing inside me, Cooper. You’re running through my veins right now,” she murmurs.
Tears fill my eyes. This is our dream as a couple, as a family. It’s bliss, pure fucking bliss.
“I couldn’t love you more than I do now.” I kiss her sweet lips. “I can’t wait to have a little you walking around.” I vibrate with joy at the thought of a little girl walking around in tutus, heels, and her mommy’s lip gloss. If I close my eyes, I can see it. I can see a little Kylie with black hair and blue eyes, and my heart leaps out of my chest. I’ve never wanted anything more in my life. “The first time I saw you, I knew you’d be the mother of my child. And it’s finally here, Ky, baby. It’s finally happening.”
I want to take her right here and make love to her, thank her for this gift. I love my wife, and we’re having a baby.
Our baby.
I’m overcome with emotion as I gaze at her. She’s the answer to my every prayer, need, and want.
“You’re my wife, my lover, and now the mother of my child.” My heart is this girl’s for the taking. I want to make her happy. I want her to feel every ounce of love I have for her. She keeps me breathing. It’s a pussy whipped thing to say, but without her I’d be nothing. “Our lives started when I first laid eyes on you. I remember that moment vividly. They moved forward when I made you my wife, but this, this baby, is the start of our journey. I’m going to give you the world. I promise you that. You’ll never go without, and our child is going to be so lucky to have you for a mommy.”
Her eyes glisten, and a softness crosses her features. The moment is intimate, the air thick with emotion. I can’t imagine sharing this part of myself with anyone but her. I can’t even envision how beautiful she’s going to be with a big stomach. I can’t wait to rub her back and swollen feet and love her through this. My heart is pounding with thoughts of our future.
How did I get this lucky? It’s almost unreal. I have a gorgeous wife who I love more than life itself, we have a good home, and now we’re having a baby.
“Thank you,” she whispers against my lips, her warmth coating me, calling me. “Thank you for giving me you. This is everything I’ve ever wanted, Cooper. I’m going to have a family. My own little family with you.”
Her eyes close as she soaks in that information. In this moment, I feel as if the entire world is in my hands for the taking. Nothing stands in our way. I feel invincible, untouchable, and for the first time in my life, I feel whole. With Kylie and the baby, my dreams for the future are coming true. I’m going to take care of her like I promised. I swear I’m going to love her so damn hard.
My woman and our baby. The thought is heavenly.
“Yeah, beautiful,” I reply, smiling. “Our family. You, me, and baby. Nothing else matters. I’m a lucky bastard.” And I am. The luckiest bastard in the world.
I gaze at Kylie, remembering that day. We were in love, so hopeful and excited. She was carefree, happy, and beautiful. Our excitement made us fearless. We were ridiculously naive. I don’t know how we went from that to this. I don’t want this for us anymore. Being inside her last night and having her here with me this morning makes me aware of what we used to have.
What we should still have.
“You okay?” she asks, her smile fading. “Where did you just go? You seemed miles away.”
I’m hit with the urge to hold her, to have her close. I want her back. I want to make her feel whole again and try to figure out my shit in the process. I’ve been fighting us, and it’s been stupid. Yeah, she hurt me pretty fucking badly, but I’ve been hurting her too.
“Come he
re, Kylie.” It comes out as a low command.
She blinks and looks confused.
“Please, baby,” I whisper.
She stands, and I swallow, looking at her body. She walks tentatively, her hips swaying as her longs legs move gracefully. My wife is sexy. I don’t think she realizes how enticing and erotic she is. I’ve watched her interact with other men. I know she knows how to use her sensual charm to her benefit, but with me, she loses that confidence. It’s something I need to fix. I need to bring back my sex kitten. The sex kitten who took and owned my mind, body, and soul as equally as I did hers.
She sits next to me. Not nearly close enough. I decide ‘screw it’, I need to hold her. I pick her up and put her in my lap. She gasps, and I move my hands to her face, focusing my eyes on hers. She looks taken aback, and I smile. I like that I’ve surprised her.
“What are you doing?” She giggles.
“I wanna talk to you.”
“Okay…” she whispers.
“I want you to know last night was good. It was a surprise, but I wanted you, and I think we needed it. We have a ton of shit to work out. I don’t know where to start, but I remember when things were good.” My eyes search hers for understanding. She nods, so I continue. “We have so much to talk about, but I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable around me. That’s never been you.”
She smiles, a tiny curl tilting her lips as her eyes crinkle at the sides. “No, I’ve never been good at keeping my mouth shut and my emotions in check.”
I shake my head and chuckle, because she’s right. She’s always been my dainty spitfire. I love that about her. “No, you haven’t, but I know this is difficult and we’re both unsure of each other. We don’t know where to go from here, but we’ll figure it out. Baby steps? Yeah?”
She nods. “So no regrets over last night?”
Her eyes hold a glimpse of anxiety that I immediately want to soothe. No matter how bad things have gotten, I’ve never regretted a single moment of my life with Kylie. I may regret the choices we’ve made or the way things have worked out, but not her.
Against All Odds Page 17
