Her confession shakes me. Tears force their way down my cheeks betraying me, showing her my weakness. A broken man stands before her.
“Don’t give up on us,” I beg. “Let me sort him out. Please. I need you to give me time.”
Her eyes turn gentle with compassion. “I’m not giving up on you ever again. Never again. I’m sorry for betraying you. The men, they took what I gave them, but you, my sweet husband, have always been the key to my life. Now that I have you back, now that I’ve found my source of water and food, I’m not starving. I love you. Now, yesterday… forever.”
I pull her against me and hold her tight. I love her so much it hurts. I want to sweep us up and carry us away, but I don’t know how. How do I heal a marriage when I’m broken? Am I just too fucked up for the both of us? I don’t know, but I can’t give up. I’m going to fight with every fiber of my being. She’s worth every minute of torture.
“Let me take care of him tonight,” I whisper. “Let me figure this out, and stay away from him for right now, Kylie. Please, just do this one thing for me.”
“I’m not going anywhere. It was just a text, but I’ll cut all contact until you figure out how to handle him. It’s okay, Cooper.”
We stay quiet for a minute, trying to calm down. I absorb her warmth.
After a moment, she pulls back. “How did things go with Layla?”
I sigh. “I talked to her.”
“And?” she whispers.
“It was rough, but it’s done.”
She eyes me carefully. She doesn’t say anything, but I know she expects me to go on.
“I told her we’re done,” I continue. “She was hurt, but she eventually let it go. She’s no longer working here.”
“She just gave up?” she asks.
I make sure to choose the right words. “She had some choice words with me, but there wasn’t much to give up. We were never anything. She knew that.”
She touches my cheek and closes her eyes. My eyes move over her face. I see her take a breath and release it. She opens them and smiles weakly.
“We’re a fucked up pair,” she murmurs.
I laugh and kiss her cheek. “We are. But we have each other. Even lost, we’ve had each other.”
“Yeah, I guess. Will you call me when you get to Grayson’s? I want to make sure you’re all right.”
“I can do that.” I smile. “I love you, Kylie.”
Her eyes well up with fresh tears. “I love you, too. We’ll be okay, right?”
God, I ache for what our relationship’s become. “We will be. I’ve got you now, and I’m not letting go again.”
She wraps her arms around me and buries her face in my neck. I hold her tight, letting her warmth seep into my cold soul. We’re silent for a minute, just trying to find some peace in the midst of chaos.
After a couple minutes, I break the silence. “I better go, baby. I’ll call you in a bit. Can you give me a kiss?” I whisper, into her hair.
She pulls back, her nose crinkling in amusement. “Do you really need to ask for a kiss?”
I grin and gently catch her bottom lip between my teeth. She closes her eyes, her breath becoming choppy. I bite gently and give her a tender kiss.
“You taste so good. Till later?”
“Yeah,” she whispers.
“We’ll talk tonight. Don’t drink too much.”
“I won’t.”
I touch her face, and she leans into my hand. Her beautiful eyes, hair, and skin call to me. I want to soak her into my body until I’m addicted. I give her one last kiss on the cheek and turn to leave. When I open the door, I hear her call my name. I turn back and see her sweet face.
“There’s only one man for me,” she says. “Remember that. You’re still the man of my dreams.”
I let her love wash over me as I go to confront a man who’s been a brother to me and now feels like a stranger. My life’s unraveling, or maybe it’s already unraveled, but we’re finding the parts we need to put it back together.
“I feel the same way about you, sweet girl,” I say, giving her a warm smile.
I pull into Grayson’s driveway and call Kylie to let her know everything’s fine. I want to make this fast, but I have a feeling things are about to get intense.
At Gray’s door, I knock twice. He answers quickly, and we stare at each other before he moves aside to let me in. A memory of the last time I was here hits me. What he said is still fresh in my mind. I walk into the living room and wait for him to follow. He does, and we stand in silence, looking at each other.
“Do you want a beer?” he asks, a cold edge to his voice.
“No.”
He nods, and I try to figure out how to start. No point in skirting around shit.
“I need you to back off my wife,” I say calmly.
He laughs and shakes his head, glaring at me. “So what? You’re done with your whores and ready to take her back?”
His disdain pisses me off. I weigh my response, sensing shit’s about to get tense faster than I anticipated. He’s not playing, but I’m not fucking around either. It’s time for him to back off and get out of our lives.
“What are you trying to do with my girl?” I ask carefully.
His body turns taut with irritation. “I’m trying to take care of her. Something you’ve proven over and over you can’t do.”
“You think you know it all, don’t you?” I say quietly, darkness seeping from my mouth.
“I know I do.”
“You don’t know shit.”
He scowls at me, his face rigid with contempt. “Right. Where the fuck have you been for two years?”
“I know I’ve screwed up.”
“Screwed up? That’s what you think you’ve done?” he asks incredulously, throwing his hands in the air. “Nah, bro. You haven’t just screwed up. You’ve cosmically fucked up and destroyed everything in your path.”
“You’re right,” I say, fighting to keep my composure. “I have, but I need her back. You texting my wife that I don’t deserve her and you want her is fucked up.” My heart beats furiously as I think of his texts. I want to pound him into the ground.
“Ah, so that’s what all this is about?” He smirks, his blue eyes shining with arrogance. “You saw me swooping in and decided you wanted her back so I couldn’t have her?”
“It’s not like that.” My blood boils out of control.
He raises a brow. “Isn’t it?”
“No, it’s fucking not,” I growl.
“Then what is it, asshole? Because I reached my threshold for your bullshit when you started fucking a woman who worked with your wife.”
I laugh, an almost demonic sound. He thinks he’s got me figured out, but I haven’t told him anything more than I wanted him to know. I didn’t want him going back to Kylie with anything. He thinks he’s got this whole situation under control.
“You want my wife? You want my fucking wife, bro?” I taunt, ready to lay his ass out. “You can’t have her. Back off, Grayson, or I swear to God, I will be forced to do things you’ve never dreamed I’d be capable of doing.”
“Are you threatening me, Cooper?” he sneers.
“Yes,” I state, a cold lethal spark to my voice.
“Bring it,” he breathes, meeting me head for head.
“When did you fall in love with her?” I ask, bracing myself. “You promised you’d look after her while I got my shit together. You said you’d never cross that line. When the fuck did you fall in love with my girl?”
He sucks in a few deep breaths, trying to keep his cool. I know Gray. He’s like a hand grenade just waiting to explode.
“What does it matter?” he says. “All you need to know is that I love her and I’m not going to let you ruin her. I’ve watched the way she’s reacted to your cold silence. She’s died a little more every day while you were off doing God knows what with God knows who. Do you even know what she’s been through?”
Of course I know what she’s
been through at my hands. It’s something I’ll have to live with forever. But it hasn’t exactly been easy for me either, and this douchebag is acting like I’ve been on a vacation.
“Yeah, I have a good idea of the fucking torture she’s lived with because I’ve been going through the same hell,” I spit. “What do you think this has been like for me?”
My pulse thundering, I watch his body tremble with rage. His fists are clenched. He shakes his head and hits me with a death glare meant to burn me alive. I stand firm, bracing myself for what he has to say. I meet him eye to eye.
“You know what? I don’t know what it’s been like for you,” he says. “You shut down like a little fucking girl. I find it funny that you thought I could play husband to a beautiful woman without falling in love with her. Jesus Christ, have you looked at your wife, Cooper? She’s a man’s wet dream.” He taunts me, egging me on. “God, her legs go on for days, hips so perfectly proportioned I want them hugging my waist and face, and tits so round and pert I’d give my left nut to have my mouth on them. Do you know how bad I want her? What I would give to taste and touch her?” He pauses, driving his point home. “Not only is she a fucking beauty, but when she smiles, she lights up a room. And when she digs really deep and opens up, I swear the universe sings from the pure beauty in her heart. You threw all that away for a couple of whores instead of fighting for the woman God gave you to cherish.”
Thick, molten lava bursts through my veins. The way he talks about my wife stirs a red hot rage so insidious that I lunge across the space that separates us. My fist connects hard with his face. I’m so angry that he wants her, I come back for a second, third, and fourth punch. I make sure each strike’s a punishing slash for the truth he just spit at me.
I feel my body heave, my heart firing like a shot gun as I purge my poison into his body, infecting him with the rage that’s eating me alive. His fist connects with my cheek, and white hot pain shoots through my skull. My head whips back as another fist from the opposite direction connects with my jaw. I revel in the pain, using it to spur me on. After his first few punches make contact, numbness settles over me.
I strike brutally, every blow expelling sorrow, guilt, and the painful awareness of what a failure I am. My anger urges me on, and he doesn’t hold back either. He bruises my body to match my decrepit soul. We go until we’re both bleeding, breathing heavy, and exhausted.
“Fuck you, Cooper!” he seethes, spitting blood on the floor.
“No, fuck you, Grayson! You fucking betrayed me,” I roar.
He pushes me back, and we scramble apart, trying keep from killing each other.
“No, bro, I didn’t betray you. You betrayed yourself. You fucking did this to her, to all of us! You took something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy—the death of a child—and let it rip all of our lives apart. I don’t know what it feels like to lose a child, Cooper, but I don’t understand abandoning the person you pledged your fucking soul to at the worst moment in her life. Then, on top of that, you left her with a playboy like me!”
He’s right. Fuck, he’s right, but what can I do? I can’t go back. “You never answered my question,” I exhale, haunted after a minute. “When did you fall in love with her?”
He looks at me, his eyes filled with raw, unbridled hurt. He loves her. It’s as clear as day.
“I don’t owe you that,” he says. “I owe you nothing.”
We sit in silence, our adrenaline seeping out of us as exhaustion sets in. I don’t know how much time passes, but I hear him blow out a deep breath.
“I don’t know why I’m telling you this. She called me one night, several months back,” he whispers with his head down. “She was so fucking drunk I couldn’t make out what she was saying. She was crying. She thought she called you.” He breathes, lifting his head to meet my gaze. “She kept saying your name. I couldn’t get her to calm down or make sense. She was rambling about needing you, about being hurt, and something about her chest. I had to get a buddy to trace her phone so I could find her. I tried calling you, but you were out of town as usual.” He takes a deep breath, his voice cracking, delivering a death blow. “When I got to the club, she was huddled in an alley, lying on her side in her own vomit. She was trembling so fiercely I thought something in her body was giving out. I tried to sit her up, but she screamed in pain so I ended up carrying her to the car.” He starts shaking viciously, his hands clenched tight. “Her shirt was ripped open, and her bra was gone. There were hand prints around her collar bone, like the son of a bitch had tried to strangle her.”
He drags a distressed hand through his hair. My body’s literally seized by crushing guilt and sorrow. My muscles spasm and heat courses through me, causing sweat to bead on my brow. Oh God, no. Please no.
“Someone had tried to rape her,” he continues, his voice strained. “They tried to fucking rape her, and she was trying to call you for help. She kept trying to call you, and you weren’t there.” He stares into my eyes, letting his words sink in.
“No…” My heart’s no longer beating.
“They didn’t rape her, they just roughed her up, but I made a decision that night,” he says.
“Why didn’t you tell me? Why would you keep this from me? Why didn’t she say something?” I whisper, gutted by what Kylie’s been through.
“I lost respect for you that night,” he states. “She begged me not to tell you. How fucked up is that? Your own wife was too scared to tell you.”
I see the animosity and resentment he has stored against me. He’s been carrying this for who knows how long. I feel sick that I let this happen.
He continues. “She felt like she had already fucked you guys up. She was afraid you would think she was disgusting. I made a promise to her that night,” he whispers, his face telling me he sold himself to her that night. “I told her that I would never abandon her. That I’d look after her. I cut out the partying and girls and did your job.” He lowers his head, putting his hands behind it. “You forget that I’ve known her as long as you have. I might not know every curve of her body or every pin prick of her heart, but she’s always been special to me. She’s my best friend’s wife, which made her family.” He looks up again. “I’ve taken care of her every day since. After that night, I viewed your marriage with new eyes. I’ve tried so fucking hard to draw the line between friend, best friend, and lover with her. I didn’t want to blur that line, Cooper. You can’t honestly think that I fell in love with her on purpose.” He searches my face, gauging me. “Although I’ve begged for it several times, I haven’t touched her. I’m sorry, bro, but I’m in love with her.”
My head’s a tilt-a-wheel of thoughts as I try to keep up with everything he’s told me. My body feels as if it’s been thrown in a hole and stoned repeatedly. It’s a sinking feeling to know I truly abandoned someone at the worst time in her life. I promised her the world, and now my best friend’s in love with my wife.
The loss of our baby flipped a switch in me. Was it the moment I took Kayla from her arms? Was it the funeral? I don’t know. Maybe it’s because of growing up with parents who never talked about anything emotional. Maybe I didn’t have the tools to fight through it. I don’t know why I shut down, why I needed to escape from the one person I love more than my life.
“What’s wrong with me?” I whisper, devastation smothering the life out of me. “How could I do this? What kind of man am I?”
Gray ambles over, his body showing his stress and fatigue. He sits next to me. The tension and sorrow in the air is so thick, I could cut it with a knife.
“I don’t know, but things have been fucked up for a long time,” he whispers after a while. “I know you love her, but I know she deserves more than what you’re giving her. If you want to deserve her, then you need to earn her.” His eyes bore into mine. Our friendship’s being tested in ways we’d never expected. “Maybe it’s time you get some help. You need to learn how to cope with losing Kayla.”
I stare at the man I u
sed to call my brother. Maybe I do need help. Without it, Kylie and I stand no chance. I put my head down and think over all of the things we’ve been through. My chest burns over what I’ve done to my wife. The guilt destroys me. I’m not the man I thought I was. It’s a damning thought.
“I felt so worthless when she died,” I admit, unable to keep my sorrow in. “We wanted her so badly, Grayson. From the moment we got engaged, having a baby was all we talked about. We had a plan for our lives, and that was goal number one.” Tears force their way out of my eyes as I think about Kylie’s excitement about becoming a mother. “I was so used to coming through for her. I’ve never had to deal with something being ripped from my life. When things have gone wrong, I’ve always been able to fix them. The night Kylie gave birth and she was holding Kayla, she looked at me. The look behind her eyes demolished me. I saw…” I try to breathe, but the pain is almost unbearable. “Fuck, I saw desperation. She was begging me, man. Her entire body was screaming at me to fix it. How could I bring her back? God, I wanted to. She was my child, my flesh and blood. But I couldn’t do anything. I felt pathetic and I lost the grip I had on our lives. I couldn’t deal and I ran.”
Silence stretches between us for several moments before Gray’s voice breaks through my thoughts. “Cooper, look at me, bro.”
I shift to look at him and see his eyes glistening with tears, his face lined in sorrow.
“I understand you were in pain,” he says. “I don’t know what it feels like to have your future stolen from you. I swear, if I could take this away from you guys, I would. All of this is more than one person should have to handle. I’m not carrying your burden, but I get it. You have to straighten this shit out,” he says, his voice urgent. “I love Kylie, but I know that she loves you more than she could ever love me. Get counseling. I don’t know what else to tell you. All of this is killing us. I don’t want to lose you guys, but you are taking me down with you.”
Against All Odds Page 22
