A thick knot forms in my chest, and my heart rate increases when I think of who I used to be. I was always a pretty cool guy. I fucked shamelessly, drank wildly, lived recklessly. “I really need you tonight.”
“Have you ever had to ask to have me? You remember, right? Just us. Always.”
I don’t remember anything anymore. My brain’s swamped with thoughts of Kylie. The time I spent with her felt like a lifetime. She became my air, and now she’s gone. I feel depleted.
“What’s happened to my Grayson?” Winter says, warmth sliding through her words. “He seems to be missing.”
“I don’t know,” I whisper, my throat tightening as I refill my drink.
They’ve fucked me up. Fucked my head. I can’t focus. She’s everywhere, a haze so thick that I’ve had to shut down and run like a fucking pussy.
She consumes me. Overtakes me. Owns me. She’s told me repeatedly that she can’t, won’t, doesn’t feel the same way. Yet I find myself pushing her rejection aside and holding onto a stupid flicker of hope that maybe, just maybe, she’ll be mine eventually.
“Come to me, lover. I’ll take care of you.” The words slide out of Winter’s mouth like a buttery balm to my broken heart.
“I’m on my way,” I mutter, throwing back my third drink.
She gets quiet for a minute. “You know you can always talk to me. I’m still the same girl, Gray. If something’s bothering you, I’ll always listen without judgment.”
My body bristles, turning rigid in response to her digging. “I don’t want to talk, Winter. That’s not why I called you. I want to fuck… for hours.” I hear her gasp, and I smirk. “Are you ready for me?”
“Getting there,” she says.
I chuckle. “I’ll get you there.”
“My night just got a little more exciting,” she teases.
The car lurches forward, and the partition rolls down. “Where to, sir?”
I give him the address and press the button to roll the partition back up for privacy. “Put something sexy on for me.”
I lick my lips, my cock hardening in anticipation of the fuck I so desperately crave. My eyes close, and I see my blue-eyed beauty in nothing but a tiny pink nightie, her nipples pressing against the silk. I think back to the night she climbed in my bed and wrapped her supple, warm body around mine. She felt like heaven, the smoothest bourbon sliding down my throat, blazing a heated path across my body. I’ll never forget the way she felt. It’s inked into my consciousness.
“I think I have something for you,” she whispers.
I groan. I’m a bastard for picturing her as Kylie, but this is what I’ve become. A lonely, desperate motherfucker looking for an erotic high. I see Kylie’s hand as she stroked my chest that night. It was innocent, but I was ready for more. Ready to feel that hand glide down and grip the base of my pulsing cock.
“I can’t wait to have you wrapped around me again.” Her voice comes out raspy—all sex. That’s what Winter is. Pure motherfucking sex.
The blondest hair, bright, lime green eyes, porcelain skin, tall—all tits and ass.
“Yeah, I’ll see you soon then.”
“Okay.” There’s a tiny hiccup in her voice, telling me she’s needy, wanting.
“Be ready,” I warn, already anticipating my mental escape.
“Before you go, tell me something. What’s changed with you? Any new tats, maybe piercings?”
I smile. She’s always loved my ink. “I think that’s something your sweet lips should discover.”
“I’m getting wet just thinking about it,” she says with a breathless sigh.
I chuckle again. “I love a wet pussy.”
Her answering moan makes me smirk. This girl’s easy. No strings, no mess. The way sex is meant to be. I learned a long time ago to never mix the heart with fucking. So somehow I’ve involved the heart without the sex.
Who fucking does that? Who falls in love with someone without even a touch? This stupid asshole, that’s who.
“Okay, let me go get ready. I’ll see you in a few.”
“See you soon.”
“Bye, Grayson,” she purrs.
“Bye, Winter.”
The moment the line goes dead, the pain comes back tenfold, accompanied by a thick layer of guilt. I’m not cheating on her. She’s not yours, dumbass. She’s married and expecting a child. The internal struggle is brutal. Logically I know she’s not mine to take, but the heart, that fickle bastard, keeps urging me to wait.
I’m not a shitty guy. I’m really not. I usually know when to bow out, when my time’s up. I try to do the right thing and put others’ needs before mine.
I shake my stupid thoughts out of my head and set the glass down. The day I left Cooper’s, I changed. I went there to try to make peace, but I came out a tornado of anger, ready to rip his life apart. I told him I didn’t care that she was pregnant, I’d take her anyway. The fucked up part is that I would.
It took everything in my God damn body to leave her there and walk away from the girl who owns my heart. Now I’m here in motherfucking Colorado of all places, trying to move on, but still waiting.
Waiting for what?
I open my eyes and look out the window. The streets whirl by in a blurry haze. It’s a mental hell. Everything in me says go home and wait, but I can’t do that. Being so close yet so far was killing me. It’s time to lose myself in a bunch of warm pussy and booze. I’ll keep my phone close in case she calls, and when she does, I’ll go claim what’s mine. What I desperately want to be mine.
Cooper is there now. He has her now. He might own her, but he won’t for long. I know it.
I’ll will it into existence.
And if it doesn’t happen, I don’t know what I’ll do. What I’m capable of doing. Would that thrust me over the ledge and make me a person I never dreamed I’d be? A person who doesn’t care about the consequences and takes what he need and wants?
Who am I?
What am I?
I guess it’s time to figure it out.
Am I really writing acknowledgements for a book I wrote? Me? I’m honestly still stunned I did this. This book is a message to all of YOU out there that ANYTHING you put your mind to can be done. Never let anyone or anything hold you back when you feel a stirring inside your soul. No matter what it is, it can be done and done well if you’re ready to work and put your heart in it.
There are so many people I need to thank. I’ll start with a lady that has been my rock through so much of the last year. Gail, having you in my life has made it fuller and happier. You’ve made me realize things about myself that I never would’ve otherwise. You believe in me. ME. That means so much. You’re a brilliant, honest, and beautiful soul. Thank you for loving me, urging me, and drying my tears. There really are no words that could adequately describe what or how important you are in my life. Just know, I love you beyond ANY words and I’m SO eternally grateful and thankful for you.
Katy… my soul sister. God, how do I thank you? How? There are no words good enough. Your love of my characters and their story gave me the confidence I didn’t have. You’re a gorgeous, passionate, and pure person. Your light, in this sometimes dark world, shines so brightly in my life. Every day I’m thankful that I get the honor of knowing you and being your friend. Thank you for every word of advice, every moment you’ve listen to my fears and reassured me. I love you so much!
Mia… my angsty queen. Thank you for taking the time to read Against All Odds. Your support means the world to me. I’m so grateful I have you in my life. I feel completely blessed. You’re advice and constant messages of encouragement meant so much to me. The fact that you believed in my characters and their story makes me feel like I did okay. I love you!!!!!!!!
Amy… When you agreed to beta AAO I was so scared… LOL! You’re a mega author to me. Your writing and characters are always so beautiful. The idea that you were reading my debut scared the shit out of me. Thank you for taking the time to do it. You’re feedb
ack was HUGE! I appreciate it more than you’ll ever know. I love you and I’m so blessed that you were a part of my baby.
Jennifer… WHERE DO I START? Huh? LOL! When I sent you the prologue and start of my first chapter I was so scared. I remember when you read it and loved it. It was a crazy feeling. You, my friend, have been such a HUGE part of my writing journey. I love you to the moon and back. Thank you for all your love and support. Thank you for your words of encouragement. There really are no words to describe how important you are to me. THANK YOU! Just thank you for everything!
Steph… Ahhhhh! Gosh. You have been a HUGE part of this book. Your feedback and love for my story helped me write and finish it. You gave me confidence. You supported me. You urged me forward. You loved me through this. I don’t think there is a more pure hearted person in this world. Your spirit is like a bright star in the bleakest sky. I love, cookie girl. I love you HARD.
Tara… My sweet Tara! Gosh, I love you. My Gray lover. Thinking about you warms me from the inside out. You have been such a SPECIAL and IMPORTANT part of my writing journey. Your input into this book was HUGE. I can’t even count the amount of times you’ve read it… LOL. Please know from the bottom of my heart how important you are to me. I appreciate you so much and love you to pieces. You’ve made me a better person, a better writer. You are just AMAZING.
To my second round betas—Lyndsay, Ashley, Jessica. S, Trisha, Ciara, Danielle. C, Danielle. H, Ros, Christine, Stephanie—Thank you so much for taking the time to read AAO. Thank you for your invaluable feedback. It was so important to me.
Angela… thank you for formatting my baby! You rock. You’re professionalism and warmth is beyond words.
Thank you to Regina from Mae I Designs for the beautiful cover.
Cassie… my glitter girl. Thank you for editing AAO. You’re not only an INCREDIBLE editor but an even more amazing girl. I’m so thrilled that through writing this book I was able to make a friend. You are a fantastic girl and I love having you in my life. I can’t wait to see what you do with Gray’s book. You definitely make books sparkle.
Thank you to the bloggers who have reviewed AAO. You guys make the indie work go round. It’s not easy being a blogger but your passion is so important to authors. You’re all loved and appreciated.
Amy… Schmexy Amy… LOL. Girl you are just BRILLIANT! I heart you HARD. Your support and love means so much to me. Thank you for helping me with the promo for this book. You’ve held my hand. Know that I’ll never, ever forget it.
Rose… Thank you for taking the time to proof AAO! I know you were busy. It meant the world that you took the time to do that. I love you and I’m thankful for you!!!!!
To my daughters… this book is for you. You can’t read it yet but one day you will and I want you to know that mommy never thought she was capable of actually articulating a full story but I DID! I did because I decided that I had NOTHING to lose. When you live life you have to take chances. Sometimes they don’t go as planned but if you TRY you can do ANYTHING! I love you girls with every ounce of my being.
To my husband… THANK YOU for putting up with my craziness. You are my EVERYTHING. My night and day. My moon and stars. You make my world turn. You make my days bright. You give me hope. You love me. There is nothing in this world that compares to the love in my heart that I have for you. Thank you for supporting me and loving me unconditionally. Thank you for being my husband. I’m one lucky girl.
To the readers… **wipes tears** I hope you enjoyed the book. I hope you got the message behind the dysfunction. There is ALWAYS hope. Even in your darkest moment, there’s hope. I want you to know that you can always choose happiness. Even when you feel low, beaten down, and demolished you can fight for your tomorrow. Life has ups and downs. They’re unavoidable. Sometimes they drown us but have HOPE that tomorrow there’ll be a spark of life. FIGHT for your dreams and desires. I love you guys. Thank you for taking a chance and reading my debut. It means EVERYTHING to me.
A multi-tasker from birth—and now proudly able to add ‘writer’ to my resume—I’m a mother, wife and blogger. I love to read, write and drink copious amounts of iced coffee.
All three aforementioned addictions are detrimental to my sanity.
I have a voracious appetite for dark, painful and twisted reads. I’m enamored with the concept of love and heart break. I believe life is a journey, a tale in its own for each of us. The road to happiness is sometimes paved with stones from hell, or glitters of satisfaction graced from the heavens above.
In my debut novel, Against All Odds, I strive to make you feel. I believe any emotion—whether painful or happy—is good. To me, the key to living is to go through life feeling its ups and downs. Love is dark and it can be painful but, at the end of the day, it can save the most lost of souls and the most broken of hearts
Author Links:
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https://www.facebook.com/angiemckeonauthor
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https://twitter.com/Angie_McKeon
Website:
http://angiemckeon.blogspot.com/
Goodreads:
https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7389718.Angie_McKeon
Against All Odds Page 33
