“Don’t touch me. Why did you ignore my letters? Why didn’t you tell me about any of this? I’ve been worried about you for months, Raudrich. Do you know what I’m going to have to deal with when I get home? Callum is going to be furious with me. I knew he’d never let me leave to go looking for you if I told him. So I wrote to his brother and snuck off with him. I’ve made certain that Callum knew we were safe, but still…he won’t be pleased. I’ve put my life on hold for you, and you’re not even in danger, are you? You just…you just what? Decided to cut me out of your life? That’s not how this works, Raudrich. You don’t get to ghost me. We’re not dating, you bloody imbecile.”
Seeing that she needed to vent, Raudrich calmly took a seat by the fire and listened as she continued to scream at him.
“Is it that woman you were kissing? Is that it? You found yourself a girlfriend and decided you didn’t need friends anymore? Is she the one who made you stop responding to my letters? How did I not know you were one of The Eight? Why didn’t you tell me?”
The longer she screamed, the less angry she sounded. Slowly, her anger turned to tears. The moment she began to cry, Raudrich stood and moved to wrap his arms around her.
“Ach, Sydney, I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I dinna mean to hurt or worry ye. ’Twas my pride that kept me from writing to ye. I dinna wish for ye to know the truth. I worried it would change how ye saw me, and there is none in the world that have such a high opinion of me as ye do.”
She sniffled, and he tried not to grimace as she shamelessly wiped her nose on his shirt.
“What are you talking about?”
“Sit down and let me explain everything to ye.”
With some coaxing, Sydney took her seat by the fire. Slowly, he told her everything—the reason he couldn’t risk writing to her about The Eight and why he stopped writing to her because of his eyesight. When he finished, he couldn’t help but ask her the one question on his mind.
“Why did ye come here, lass? Even if ye were worried, even if ye were mad, it still doesna explain why ye are here. Not when Silva must’ve told ye some of what she knew when ye arrived in Allen territory.”
“You’re right. I came here for Silva’s sake. Obviously, I understand why you left in such a hurry now that you’ve explained everything, but you left her with a mess to clean up–one she never asked for. She doesn’t want to be laird, Raudrich. She’s still grieving the death of her husband. Allen territory wasn’t even her home until a few years ago. She’s miserable, and you gave her no choice before you left. You’re going to fix this for her.”
Such news surprised him. Silva was so strong, so capable. Despite the fact that his decision had been made in haste, he’d truly believed it the right one. Had he truly not even asked the lass if she was willing to be laird? If not, he owed her a great apology.
“I dinna know.”
Sydney nodded and reached over to pat his hand.
“I know. So, that’s what I’m going to tell Callum about why I came all this way, but the real reason is that I just really missed you, Raudrich. I wanted to see you. I wanted to see your home and make sure that you were okay. Are you okay? Are you happy?”
Happy was something he’d never placed much importance on, but for the first time in a very long time, happy did at least seem possible.
“I believe that I could be.”
Sydney wiggled her eyebrows knowingly at him, and he laughed at how silly she looked.
“It’s the girl, huh? She’s very pretty. Although, she’s quite shy, isn’t she? I haven’t heard her say a word.”
He’d never seen anything in Laurel that made him believe she was shy.
“None of us gave her a chance to speak, did we? Ye’ll like her. She’s one of Morna’s lassies, same as ye.”
“Ah. I thought she looked, I don’t know, out of time somehow. So…do you love her?”
“In truth, she’s little more than a stranger to me still, but I do think that I could.”
Sydney smiled and looked at him knowingly.
“If Morna sent her, you know you don’t really have much of a choice right? Her matches always work out. I should know. Might as well not fight it or try to slow it down for manners’ sake. If you feel it—which, from that slaphappy smile on your face, you do—just give in. You’ll wind up in the same place either way. You may as well make the journey a little easier on yourself.”
He suspected that Sydney was right, but he’d not say anything like that to Laurel just yet. The last thing he wanted to do was push her away by coming on too strongly.
“I doona doubt any of that, lass.”
“Where’s she at now?”
He could scarcely breathe each time he thought of it.
“In my bed.”
Sydney’s mouth fell open as she jumped up from the chair and moved to pull him to his feet.
“Then, what are you doing sitting around talking to me? We’ve got the daytime for that mess. Go and tend to your woman. Bed her well. Help her touch the heavens. Rock her world. Make her toes curl. You can totally do it.”
Raudrich laughed at Sydney’s bawdy remarks.
“Ach, lass, I’m sure that Pinkie dinna know what to do with ye. Ye do say the strangest things.”
“It’s what we out-of-time lassies do, Raudrich. If I were you, I’d get used to it. I suspect you’ll be hearing it for a very long time.”
Chapter 35
I was still dressed and awake when Raudrich finally made it up to the room. He sighed at the sight of me sitting next to the dwindling fire when he entered.
“Ach, Laurel, ye truly dinna need to stay awake for my sake. I knew ’twas likely to take me some time to calm Sydney down. Ye must be bone-weary, lass. Stand and I’ll tuck ye into bed nice and warm then I’ll hold ye while ye sleep.”
While I appreciated his thoughtfulness, I was still much too aroused from our journey back from the tavern to sleep. Standing, I walked over to him and reached to run my fingers through his hair.
“I do want you to hold me while I sleep, but if it’s all well and fine by you, I’d like to do a few other things with you first.”
I’d definitely had more ale than I’d realized. Either that or the characters I was trying my best to imitate had straight up decided to possess me. Such bluntness wasn’t at all in my nature.
It felt nice, though. Perhaps, I should work on saying what I wanted more often.
And seeing the lift in his expression at my words made me tingle with anticipation. He wanted me too, just as badly—possibly worse—than I wanted him.
“Are ye sure, lass? I’d consider it an honor to simply sleep next to ye. Ye needn’t feel any obligation.”
“Raudrich…” I stood on my tiptoes to reach him. After kissing him until he began to tremble, I trailed my lips toward his ear where I whispered, “I want you. I’ve already had you in my dreams, but tonight I want you in real life. I want to see you and taste you and feel you moving inside of me. Undress me and take me to your bed.”
His response was immediate as he spun me away from him.
“This dress, lass, it suits ye.”
I laughed as I looked down to see my breasts jiggling as he pulled at the laces of Freya’s gown.
“It’s too tight.”
He bent to nip at my neck, his tongue warm against my neck.
“Precisely. Yer breasts barely stayed inside it while ye danced at the tavern. Every time I glanced at ye, all I wanted to do was taste them.”
I gasped as his hands slipped inside the opening at the back of the gown and slid around my waist before slowly pushing upwards until he cupped both my breasts in his hands. He pushed outwards with his arms and in one quick sweep, the dress fell to the ground, leaving me naked and exposed to him.
I didn’t move to cover myself. Instead, I leaned back into him as his hands roamed over me. He pulled me tight against him, and I could feel his erection pressing into my back as one hand dipped lower and deftly slipped i
nto the warmth between my legs.
“Christ, lass, I have never wanted a woman so much.”
I couldn’t speak. My breath was coming too quickly. My heart was beating too fast for me to do anything but writhe against him.
He moved his fingers quickly until my knees buckled from pleasure. As I began to tremble, he spun me toward him once again, quickly lifting me in his arms as I wrapped my legs around his waist and he carried me over to the bed.
The moment he lay me backwards, he removed his shirt and I reached for the tie on his breeches as I greedily slipped my hands inside to pull them downward.
I reached for him, taking his length in my hands as he groaned and bent to crush his mouth to mine.
The heat of his chest pressed against my bare skin only increased my need for him. Moving my hands to either side of his face, I kissed him as I spread my legs wide.
He felt me open myself to him and plunged inside as I screamed into his mouth.
We found our rhythm quickly. He took care to make sure that he matched his pace with my own, and when we both finally did climax, it was together.
It was hands down the best sex of my life, and from his endless exclamations I expected he would say the same come morning.
* * *
“Why do ye write about love, lass?”
“Hmm…” I was half asleep when he spoke. We lay in just the same position I’d woken in several nights before. Tenderly, he twirled a lock of my hair with his fingers. “What was that?”
He lifted himself and my head dropped from his chest to the mattress as he propped himself up on his elbow.
“I asked why ye choose to write love stories.”
“How do you even know that? I don’t remember telling you that’s what I wrote.”
He smiled and immediately I knew.
“Ye dinna. Marcus told me.”
Seeing in his expression that he really did wish to talk, I pushed myself up and moved to sit cross-legged on the bed as I pulled the blanket up with me for warmth.
“Almost everything is a love story at its core. The love story is just more central in the things that I write. It’s what life is about, isn’t it? We all have the same basic need to connect deeply with another person. I enjoy exploring that. I enjoy writing about all the different ways people can find love.”
He was staring at me with great interest, and I could see that another question was right on the tip of his tongue.
“What?”
“Nothing, lass. Ye fascinate me, is all. If ye understand the value and importance of love so well, why then have ye resisted it so fiercely for most of yer life?”
“How do you…” I paused and shook my head. “Marcus again? Man, he was on a tear with you, wasn’t he? What didn’t he tell you about me?”
Raudrich laughed and leaned forward to kiss me quickly.
“He dinna tell me much, lass. And ye,” he pointed at me playfully, “dinna answer the question.”
I shrugged.
“I don’t know, really. I guess I never found anyone that made the risk of getting hurt worth the possible reward.”
He smiled at that.
“But I am?”
“It would seem so, wouldn’t it? I’ve not been very successful at resisting you, at all.”
With a flick of his wrist, he extinguished the flames in the fire and reached for me in the darkness. As we came together once more, he whispered into my ear.
“I’ll not hurt ye, lass. Not now, nor ever if I can keep from it.”
I didn’t doubt the honesty in his words for a moment.
That didn’t mean that I was safe in the least. But for once in my life, I simply didn’t care.
Love with this man was worth it, no matter how risky.
Chapter 36
I woke only a few short hours after we fell asleep in each other’s arms. While my body was deliciously exhausted, my mind was racing with a million different thoughts. There seemed to be an energy coursing through and around the castle, a foreboding feeling that left me uneasy and unable to rest. I wondered if Raudrich could feel it, as well. Although, from the look of him—arms spread wide across the bed, his mouth hanging open as he slept—he didn’t look like it.
Carefully, I rolled away from his grip and rose from the bed as I quietly felt around on the floor for Freya’s dress. I would’ve preferred to put on my own, but it was all the way across the castle in Marcus’ room and I wasn’t going to risk being spotted in the nude by our other guests.
Yanking the snug dress on, I tied the laces loosely and slipped quietly from the room.
I left the room with no real agenda—I just needed to move, to walk around in the hopes that some exercise might slow the jumble of thoughts inside my mind.
I’d yet to tell Kate what I knew I must. I was worried over Marcus and how he might or might not be adjusting to his new training and life. My thoughts were with Harry and the men who were searching for Calder. Even with my strong dislike for him, I hoped they would find him safe and well. I knew how strongly each of the men loved him.
There were other thoughts, too, happier ones—thoughts of Raudrich and the way I already knew what I felt for him but wouldn’t allow myself to say out loud just yet.
His scent still clung to my skin, and the memory of our night spent together had me walking around the dark hallways of the castle with an embarrassingly goofy grin.
As I wandered, I reveled at how utterly quiet the castle was at night. All were asleep, all except Freya, of course.
I hesitated at the thought. I didn’t know if Freya would welcome my company, but my curiosity eventually got the better of me as I paced back and forth in front of the castle’s main door.
With Nicol away, Raudrich had said himself that Freya would be lonely. Perhaps, she would welcome the company.
I snuck into the nearest empty bedchamber—Paton’s—to grab a blanket to wrap myself in while outside and realized right away why Raudrich had believed Paton would see reason to try and steal his room. The room—if one could even call it that—was little more than a closet. It had no real bed to speak of, only a simple sewn mattress and a small table next to the bed.
Laughing as I thought back on that night which now felt ages ago, I pulled the blanket from the bed and made my way outside.
The moon always seemed to be exceptionally bright on the isle and I was able to make my way to the garden path with ease. The crunch of dead leaves and plants crackled beneath my feet. So as not to frighten her, I called out to Freya and tried to hide the nervousness in my voice. I had no idea what to expect. I’d never seen a ghost before, let alone spoken to one.
“Freya, I’m Laurel. I don’t know if Nicol mentioned me to you or not. I thought you might like some company. I was having a hard time sleeping.”
I still couldn’t see her, but she had the sweetest and most tender voice I’d ever heard.
“Aye, o’course, lass. Company doesna come to me easily. I never deny it when it does. Follow the path to yer left up ahead and ye will reach the garden’s center. Ye shall see me right away when ye turn the corner.”
I relaxed at her welcome and followed her directions with great anticipation. The moment I laid eyes on her, I couldn’t help but gasp. Her translucent figure was breathtaking even from the height of Nicol’s bedchamber window. In person, she was so beautiful it was almost difficult to look at her.
“Hi.”
Freya smiled but didn’t move from her seat as she waved me over to her.
“’Ello, lass. I hoped I would have the opportunity to visit with ye soon. Do ye know how long it has been since I’ve had the chance to visit with a woman?”
“Decades?”
She didn’t look sad as she answered me and I was glad for it. It made it easier to be around her. It was heartbreaking anyway. If Freya appeared to be suffering or if she wallowed in despair, I wasn’t sure I would’ve been able to stand it.
“Precisely, lass.”
I moved to sit next to her and stared at her with wide eyes until she broke the silence.
“’Tis fine if ye wish to touch me, lass.”
I was very curious.
“Will you feel it if I do?”
“No. Yer hand will sweep right through. Try. I promise ye, I doona mind.”
Hesitantly, I reached as if I meant to shake her hand. It felt no different than waving it through air, though I could see my fingers pass through her own.
“Wow. I…I’m sorry, Freya. I can’t begin to imagine what this is like for you.”
She shrugged rather nonchalantly.
“I made my peace with this long ago, not that I willna welcome a release from this place when it comes. I pray for it every day.”
“It will. Someday, you’ll be free. I truly believe that.”
She smiled and leaned in close.
“I agree, which is precisely why I am so verra glad that ye are here. It has restored my hope.”
“Why do you say that? I’ve far less power than the men that surround you here. I can’t see how I could possibly make you hope for anything.”
She shook her head as she spoke up to disagree.
“Ye are wrong about that, Laurel. Yer presence here has agitated Machara in a way I’ve not ever felt before.”
“That’s only because…” I hesitated. I hoped that saying Machara’s suspicions out loud wouldn’t give Freya any reason to believe them. “Machara worried that I might be here for Nicol. She’s very jealous of him.”
Freya laughed loudly.
“Lass, Machara is a lying shrew. She no longer cares for Nicol. If she is ever free, she wouldna take him for herself. She would kill him without thought or feeling. This state she’s placed me in, it ties me to her. I feel what she feels, and ’twas not jealousy she felt in yer presence. ’Twas fear.”
“Why would she be afraid of me? I’ve no power over her.”
“Why do ye think there are far more stories of faeries ruining the lives of men than of women?”
I hadn’t the slightest idea.
“I don’t know.”
Love Beyond Words: Book 9 of Morna’s Legacy Series Page 15
