As he watched the woman he loved walk out of his hospital room after some fucking bullshit spy, a loose coil of anger ignited in his chest. It wasn’t fair that he’d met the woman of his dreams under such shitty circumstances. It wasn’t fair that their affair had happened under such duress. It wasn’t fair what he’d asked of her, and what she’d done to him.
It wasn’t fucking fair. Full stop.
But it had happened all the same.
And as he watched Olivia disappear into the hospital, Ryder felt a familiar spasm in his muscles. Despite his broken body screaming at him in pain, he lifted himself out of his chair.
He had to go after her.
37
Olivia watched Aidan making his way down the hallway, and she tried to keep up. It wasn’t that she couldn’t walk as fast as him, it was that she didn’t want to. Every step that took her away from Ryder was a reminder of how poorly their reunion had gone.
So she dragged her feet hard.
It hurt, knowing that she’d really fucked things up. Her betrayal had put such a target on Ryder’s back that the CIA actually had to keep him at a safe house.
She’d almost killed him.
And to think she’d thought she could have him back.
A small elderly woman peeked her head out of a hospital room in front of Olivia and started crossing the hall with a walker. It cut off Olivia’s path and forced her to stop and wait. Aidan disappeared around the corner ahead, focused as usual.
But then familiar thick hands grabbed her arms from behind, turning her around quickly. And there they stood, face-to-face in the hospital hallway, with Ryder breathing down on her like a beast needing to be satiated. His tanned, ripped core was bare, and the dark tattoos winding down his beat-up ribcage caught more than just her attention when nurses passed by. She didn’t miss how his hands lingered on her waist, just for a moment, before releasing her again.
“What happened after I disappeared?” Ryder growled at her, his masculine cedar scent filling the air from barely a foot away. “What happened to you?”
As she looked into the studying, dark eyes of the hulking man before her, tears filled her eyes. Could she just… not cry this once? She forced her spine to stiffen, hoping the physical reaction would lead the mental. But it was all for naught.
Doing everything in her power not to bury her face in his chest, she tried to explain. “Fuller threatened me, like you said he would. Said he wouldn’t let me leave until I showed him my report. But Bruce drove me to the airport. I was lucky to get out when I did. Ryder, I’m so sorry…”
“Fuck,” was all he could spit out. He shook his head, outraged, unable to say a thing.
“Please. Tell me what you want me to do.” She felt the same pain, hurt, and ferocity as the day she’d crossed him and lost his trust. She just wished he weren’t so angry with her.
“I am going to kill that man,” he bit out.
The words struck her hard, and she realized that maybe she had misread Ryder. Maybe the anger that radiated from him wasn’t directed at her.
It was directed at the commander.
“He’s going to pay for everything.” There was a wild look in Ryder’s eyes. “He’s not going to get away with what he did to you.”
Olivia felt her heart melt. Here Ryder stood, still fuming about someone who had tried to hurt her. It meant that he still cared.
“And what about this fucking Aidan King guy? What happened?” he continued, dead serious.
Olivia blinked rapidly, willing the tears to evaporate spontaneously. “Aidan approached me after the flight home… and I let him read my report. Ryder, what do you want me to do?” she asked again. “Aidan offered me a job, and he wants to take my report to NCIS for a second look. Do you want this? Or do you want me to take this public?”
He rubbed his hand over the facial hair that had grown in on his jawline. That, combined with his messy, near-black hair, had a devastating effect. He made her knees weak.
“You told me to come to you first,” she tried to explain. “To talk to you first. I had to make a decision when you were gone, but now that you’re here, I want you to tell me.”
Ryder nodded. Olivia stirred before him, wondering just what the hell was going through his mind.
Finally, he spoke. “What do I want to do? It depends what you think of this King guy. Are we trusting him with the report, or not?”
Relief washed over her at his use of the word we. “I trust him. I think his heart is in the right place, and I think he’s our best chance.” She nodded at the master chief, feeling the magnetic pull toward him as she always did. “And I want you to trust me… again.”
His body swayed into her slightly, and he put his hand up on the hallway wall to steady himself. She couldn’t tell if that was due to his injuries or the same magnetic attraction she felt.
“I didn’t think I’d see you again,” he said, closing the gap between them slightly, his eyes twinkling with so much she didn’t understand.
“Ryder, I was so worried about you.” Her words caught them both off guard with their rawness. “And I’m so sorry.”
He studied her. Though he wasn’t as icy as he’d once been, he wasn’t as open either. “Let’s go with King, then.” He nodded to her. “I have to go.”
She sucked in a breath, trying to mask her disappointment as he turned to leave. Then, conspiratorially, he stopped and looked back at her. “Can you do something for me?”
“Anything.”
“They said I can’t drive yet. Next Tuesday, I need you to pick me up from this house King is taking me to. There’s something I need to do.”
“Of course,” she replied quickly.
With a final nod, he turned and found his way back to his hospital room. But watching him go wasn’t as hard as she thought—because she was going to see him again.
38
Over a week later, Olivia’s heels clicked up a dark suburban driveway, which was as quiet as it was long. She carried her newly minted CIA badge in her newly assigned leather folio. A lot had fucking happened that week, including the acquisition of several new porn-star identities.
Aidan, it seemed, didn’t have a huge team working under him, or working on the case. In fact, it really was just the two of them in house. And she was forbidden from talking to anyone—even within the CIA—about what they were doing or what he had collected.
That only validated her suspicions that the commander’s reach went further than his troop, and that there were more powerful people involved in covering up his bad behavior on deployment. A venomous climate of leadership failures, lack of accountability, and criminal misconduct. Indeed.
Standing in front of Ryder’s safe house, she realized just how deep the rabbit hole went, and how her life had changed forever. It was going to be a longer road than she once thought, bringing the commander to justice, but damn, she would do everything she could to get it done.
Olivia opened the painted black door of the detached family home and stepped inside. Ryder greeted her in the front entranceway. His movements were still slow, as he still had healing wounds and bones and god knew what else.
She closed the door behind her gently, looking up at Ryder with big, bright eyes. Something about him felt different.
Something about her felt different.
“Hi,” Ryder said calmly.
“Hey.” She smiled politely, tepidly. She was about five seconds from jumping out of her skin. “I’m ready to do this mystery thing,” she said. “Where to?”
For the first time in a long time, a grin crossed his face. “If you wanted to do that, you shouldn’t have come in the middle of the night, Olivia.” There was a twinkle in his eye.
Her lips parted. “Oh, I didn’t know.” Checking her watch, she saw it was nearly ten at night. “I was so busy getting shit done with Aidan. I didn’t—”
“It’s fine.” He raised his hands. “All good. We can do it tomorrow.” His eyes flitted to the door
behind her, and she wondered if she should leave.
“Tomorrow. Okay.” She breathed out slowly. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” That was when a normal person would have taken their leave. But instead of turning to go, she remained in front of him.
Perseverance.
Resilience.
Tenacity.
Seeming to recognize this, his amused grin grew wider.
“We need to talk,” she said bluntly.
“Then let’s talk.”
Olivia exhaled, preparing herself for a big moment. A pivotal moment. “Ryder, I’m sorry.” She looked up at him, hopeful and raw. “I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry I broke your trust. I’m sorry for what I did to you. I never meant to hurt you.” She felt his pain as he watched her say the words. Her throat closed. She hiccupped randomly, and it threw her off. “I’m sorry, I…”
Ryder waved his hand. “Stop,” he commanded. “Stop.” He rubbed his hands over his dark, scruffy chin. “I have never forgiven anyone in my life,” Ryder began. “I just don’t do it. I can’t do it. I get into a shell, and no one is allowed in.”
She nodded. It was something she had always understood about him.
“It’s even harder when someone means a lot to you.” He locked eyes with her.
“I just—” she tried to cut in.
He waved his hand again. “No.”
She quieted down and leaned against the closed door behind her. An unwanted realization dawned on her. It was really over. He would never forgive her. Her body slumped, and sadness crossed her face.
“Like every other person in my life that has fucked me over, you said you were going to be there for me, and then you weren’t,” he said, his tone dark and hurt. “And you put yourself in danger. I was powerless. I couldn’t protect you.”
“I didn’t know if you were dead or alive,” she choked out, desperate to spit out everything deep in her soul.
“I didn’t either.” His voice cracked with emotion.
She closed her eyes briefly, not wanting to accept that this was real. She dreamed it would be different. Hoped it would. But there she stood, face-to-face with her dark, tall SEAL for perhaps the last time.
“Where do we go from here?” she asked, afraid of the answer.
“You always have so many fucking questions.” He looked down into her brown eyes.
Then he reached out and tugged on her hand to bring her closer, sending fireworks of excitement and hope into her core.
Can it be?
As she slowly moved over to him, he put his hand on the side of her face and gently caressed her cheek with his thumb. She couldn’t describe the electric feeling of his touch.
“You are all I have left,” he said, holding her gaze. “I should have been better.”
And then he brought her mouth to his once more and kissed her. His kiss was strong and assertive, just like she remembered it. As she melted into him, he used the opportunity to remind her who was boss. He might have been second in command of the troop, but in that small entranceway, he was first.
And she would never forget it.
39
As he deepened the kiss, feeling the sensation of her tongue against his, Ryder held the back of Olivia’s head firmly, like he feared he would lose her again. Kissing her was inevitable, and he knew it when she’d looked up at him with those inquisitive brown eyes. Her intelligence always turned him on.
And so did her perseverance. Most people would have laid down their weapons and run screaming in the face of what she was threatened with. But Olivia had made the best of things by taking his story and sharing it with King. Instead of throwing it down some private consultant tunnel, where it could be ignored or buried, she pivoted and threw it at the CIA. Threw it at someone who was promising to do something. Someone who seemed invested. She’d had no idea if Ryder was alive or dead, and still, she’d fulfilled her promise, doing what she thought was best for him.
What was best for him—wasn’t that what her actions came down to? The words seemed easier to digest as time elapsed, as his emotions leveled, and as he realized he’d nearly lost her.
But she was in his arms again. Under his mouth again. Ryder felt the deep hunger of a man who’d been starved for too long. And here she was, supple and submissive in his grasp. He could do whatever he wanted to her.
And he wanted to do a lot of things.
As their kiss turned into a heated, hungry exchange, Ryder tore Olivia’s white blouse out of her skirt and let his hands fall lower to cup her ass, right there in the entrance of the safe house. What did he care? They were alone. And that ass was his. He wasn’t ever going to share.
She moaned in pleasure with every touch, and even more as he tried to lift her up to straddle his hardened cock. The door to the house was a strong enough wall to support her back, but pain seared his muscles as he tried to lift her, and he coughed uncontrollably.
“Jesus.” Olivia pulled back, holding his shoulder. “Breathe.”
He coughed harder, unable to catch his breath. That fucking op had left him in the worst shape of his life.
“Christ. It’s okay. I’ve got you.” She patted him on the back, holding the front of his chest like her hands could breathe for him. He felt the oxygen coming back to him and stopped feeling like he was passing out. Looking down at her, he realized that she really was there for him.
He breathed out, long and hard, and held her face to regain the momentum of the moment.
“We need to talk,” she said to him quickly, before he could plant his mouth on hers again.
“No.” He pulled her in closer. “Not now.” He gripped her jaw and pulled it back to his mouth. He couldn’t not kiss her—it was all he wanted to do. That, and so much more.
“I need to tell you something,” she said breathlessly between fierce kisses. “There’s something else.”
He only growled deeper at the challenge, and with one hand, he hiked up her skirt. She moaned as he ran his hands up her thighs, feeling heat and wetness the closer he got to her lacy panties. The sensation of her inner thigh and the core of her drove him absolutely wild—he could barely move slow enough to make the moment last.
Because he wanted to go real fucking fast.
“Damn, you have no idea what you do to me,” he groaned, tugging her panties aside and tracing a long, firm line, feeling the wetness he craved. He needed to be in there.
“It’s mutual,” she said breathlessly as he twirled her around, pushing her up against the back of the front door. “Because I’ve forgotten what I had to say…”
Facing away from him, her hands on the doorframe, Ryder made quick work of pulling her panties down and spreading her soft, naked thighs. She was ready for him, he could feel it with every finger he inserted into her wet core. He pumped in more fingers, and she writhed in delight under his firm grasp. Thoughts of tying her up and doing what he wanted with her flashed across his mind.
Acting on pure need, he found her opening with the head of his cock and thrust. He was so rough and hard and fast that she was too breathless to talk. His meaty manhood filled her up, daring her to think of anything but their mutual, mounting pressure. His ribs and back and whole body throbbed in pain as he found a rigid rhythm, but he couldn’t stop. He needed to prove to himself that she was still his. That she would take whatever he wanted to give to her.
And he had a lot to give her.
Olivia threw her head back in pleasure, and he roughly kissed her neck, biting the sensitive skin, leaving dark marks. He knew that excited her. He knew that she loved it when he took control. When he commanded her.
Pumping hard up and into her, following the rhythm of her mounting screams, he found his Master Chief voice, reserved for only the most disobedient. “You are all fucking mine,” he snapped at her as he thrust harder and harder, feeling her orgasm reach its crescendo. “I’m never fucking letting you go—ever again.”
Like a good soldier, Olivia took it well, holding onto the sid
es of the doorframe. She pushed her ass out, giving him a better angle to slam inside her. “Always,” she moaned as he gave it to her, her voice echoing through the quiet house.
He reached up and grabbed her ponytail, rough and firm, pulling it back to him. “You won’t talk to other guys unless I say so,” he ordered her, feeling her pussy tighten as her orgasm crested and released inside of her. “Do you fucking understand me?”
“Damn right,” she agreed, barely able to get the words out as she came hard. “Oh, fuck.”
Grinning, and gritting his teeth, the master chief felt the rush to the head of his cock. With a fist of her ponytail in his hand, she arched back to him, letting her own pleasure drip down her thighs. He didn’t know if it was her hot, animated release or the arching that was his undoing. But it drove him wild, and he just couldn’t hold on any longer. They’d been apart for too long. He’d fantasized about her for too long. He’d needed her for too long.
Just as he was climaxing, she tightened and cried out again with a second gush of liquid down her thighs. He exploded right after, and found himself leaning onto the wall for balance.
A dawn of agony rising over him, Ryder nearly hyperventilated as full-body pain flushed over him in waves. His desire to fuck her constantly drove him to do idiotic things, like ripping the sutures from his lacerations. What did this woman do to him? He had no idea. She had no idea.
It was fucking magical.
The sexy brunette slowly turned back around. Her ponytail was all fucked up from him yanking on it. Her face was flushed from too many mind-blowing orgasms. Her clothes were half torn off.
But she just looked at him and grinned. It was the biggest, best smile he’d ever seen. As he admired her unchallenged beauty, falling for her harder with every moment, she bent over and began fixing herself and her clothes. That act alone was the most seductive thing he’d ever seen.
Goddamn, she was the hottest thing on earth.
Fighting For Olivia Page 23
