“That's true,” he said quietly. “But their world has changed tremendously in the past century. I don't need to tell you...you've been scouting since you were in your twenties. And Kalispell is just one little town – there's a whole world out there with human marvels we couldn't hope to understand. Nor would we want to.”
“I'm not talking about their machines, Elder.” I paused, ensuring his eyes met mine and held. “It's our numbers. Sam thinks we're not having babies anymore because we need human mates to do it.”
Franklin slammed his cane angrily into the ground. He turned away from me, and let out the heaviest sigh I'd ever heard. Just on the human side of a bear's growl.
“You've said your piece. I will consider it,” he said firmly. “Now, please go. Leave me in peace. This cold makes me very tired.”
“There's more to this isn't there?” I reached out, clasping his shoulder in rigid fingers. “Why won't you tell me? Can't you do it for Clarence?”
Franklin whirled. His lips drew back angrily, equal parts frustration and sadness.
“Don't you dare use my dear brother's memory to bribe me. I know you won't believe me, but councilman Emmerick is right. If you weren't so taken with this human girl and gave him a little more credit, you'd realize that.”
“Realize what?” I snorted. “It seems to me there are a lot of things I never realized here, and nobody cares to fill me in. What about the fact that my mother was the last human in Horseshoe Creek?”
“Clarence should have told you. I wanted him to before he died.” Franklin sucked in a loud, thick breath.
I saw the glassy melancholy stewing in his eyes and relaxed a little. He still cared – even though he was just as prone to lies and secrecy as the rest of the Elders.
“Clara was the last one we allowed in – the last one we allowed to mate with one of us – and for a very good reason.” Franklin watched me try to speak, and then stop. I'd lost my words in waiting. “Having you is what killed her.”
Fuck. Now I know he's covering something up.
The slow burning fuse inside me hit its dynamite rod and exploded. “Tell me the truth, old man! What the hell are you talking about?”
I lunged forward, gripping his oversized cloak. Franklin's eyes glowed, big and gold behind his spectacles, the same animal energy a man brimmed with before he released his bear.
I loosened my grip, but only a little to keep his feet from leaving the floor. I didn't want to fight him, but I was more than a match. Youth and regular exercise had their benefits.
“Don't you get it, boy?” Franklin's voice was low, hoarse. “Yes, we had all sorts of dealings with humans in the past. Some of our descendents are probably out there now, ignorant of their ancestry, except for that horrible ache to taste blood, to hunt, and to turn when they get angry.”
“I don't care,” I said.
“But you need to. Clara died because her body wasn't meant to carry a shifter child. Neither were the other women who mated with our males in the old times. And the men who loved our females...don't get me started. I remember it well...her fever came, and then the headache like fire. Emmerick and another man – Rudy, I think – saw to her as best they could. But the stroke, the aneurism was too much. So was the heartbreak of losing your father.”
Franklin shook his head. My hands went limp, tingling all the way to my heart.
“I don't understand...you're telling me my father somehow caused this?”
The Elder nodded sadly. “It took Clara's death to confirm what Emmerick already suspected. Every human woman dies of the fever just the same. Always a year, maybe two, after giving birth. It comes without warning.”
My stomach boiled. I wanted to heave, overwhelmed with sickly shock.
“The things we do aren't meant to keep us scared, held up here, locked away from the outside world. They're mostly for the human's benefit. We really are a cursed creature, just like Emmerick says. We can't reproduce without taking life. The only moral thing to do is let go, live our lives, and say no more.”
I took several steps backward, still shaking. My head spun. I thought about Sam, wondering if I'd already doomed her.
For a second, I wanted to forget his words, to guess that this was some complicated scheme crafted by Emmerick to throw us all off. But the tense emotions written on his old face were too real.
Way too fucking honest too.
“Go home and get some rest, Don.” He gently laid one hand on my shoulder. “Keep your relationship with this human girl friendly and productive. Nothing more. Anything else will only hurt you both, and I don't want you to suffer. Emmerick won't allow it either.”
“Screw Emmerick!” I turned angrily.
Franklin had done enough for me. At least I'd gotten the truth. As pissed off as I was, I had no business shifting and clawing up his cabin, or worse. I ran.
I heard his voice echoing after me as I tore out the door. My feet prodded the cold autumn soil loudly as I headed straight for the forest.
Amid the tall trees, I tore off my clothes. No need to shred yet another pair if I could avoid it.
The cool wind caressed my body, reminding me of Sam's soothing touch. But it couldn't hold back the bear.
My skin rippled. Fur sprouted, bones cracked, my face lengthened with leathery nose and sharp teeth.
I stood on my hind legs and roared, staring at the small crescent sliver in the sky, spilling its cold silvery glow across the landscape. A walk would clear my senses, or at least drain away some of the rage.
I passed on through the forest, walking along the ether veil, half-hoping I'd encounter a hunter or maybe a real grizzly. Anything to put me out of my misery.
It's all pure, unbroken, hellish misery now. Life without her is pointless. A future where Sam has to leave forever is no future at all.
I watched the breath smoking out past my snout. In the forest's depths, I kicked big branches to the side with my huge paws, stopping to shred a few.
Feeling the rough wood tearing against my claws always helped. Calming, if only a little, reminding me of my power.
The moon was high above the mountains by the time I began to return to the cabin. Bear satisfied, I shifted, feeling my size and power retreating.
Walking naked to the spot where I'd shifted, I stopped for my clothes, and dressed when I was only a few yards from home.
The boundary world was gone. A cold fog rolled in from the mountains, darkening the entire forest, threatening to harden into frost by morning.
I approached the glowing window in my cabin, heart heavy as an iron. I knew what I had to do.
Sam looked up with a smile when I pushed inside. I shut the door and turned to face her. It hurt to see her so happy, so innocent, so blissfully ignorant.
“Sit down at the table, Samantha,” I said. “We need to talk.”
VII: Tangled Confessions (Sam)
I couldn't believe what he was telling me. My head pounded.
My mouth went dry and my skin started burning, but it was nothing like the all consuming fire searing through my heart.
“It's a trick,” I said weakly. “That fucker, Emmerick. He must have falsified something and gotten the others to believe it. Please, Don, you have to go back and tell him that!”
“It's no lie. Franklin isn't like Emmerick, and he's not stupid either. He would've checked everything. He's a man of science. I won't be responsible for your death, Sam. I love you too much.”
“Then why don't you dig deeper instead of taking these assholes at their word? Thinking I'm going to die just from having sex with you is preposterous!”
“I don't care.” His voice was hard. “If there's even a 1% chance this could happen, I'm not putting you in danger. I couldn't live with myself if something happened, unlikely or not. I'm sorry. There's no other choice.”
Without thinking, I threw myself into his arms. His arms comforted me for a moment, strong and gentle as always, searching for my happiness. But his embrace began to
grow awkward, became a ghost of the full, muscular warmth I knew he could give me.
I looked up and saw his face tight, horrified, verging on tears or screams or both.
No, no, no!
In one jerk, I twisted away from him. The cabin suddenly felt hideously claustrophobic, like a morgue for our dearly departed love.
I couldn't take it. I pushed past him and ran, throwing open the door and stepping out into the icy autumn night.
For once, nature cooperated with me. I just wanted to hide, and the cloudy night gave perfect cover.
I stepped into the thick fog waiting for me at the edge of the forest, wishing I could disappear into it forever.
If he loved me, he'd be sneaking into the archive with me right now. We'd be doing everything we could to disprove this rotten nonsense...
On and on I ran. Dead leaves crunched underfoot. Gnarled branches snapped.
Something scampered past as I got deeper. Probably a mouse or a squirrel – too small to be dangerous.
Only a crack in the clouds above gave any light. And even then, the moonlight was so far, so faint, struggling to shine through the thickening fog.
Bastards. They all live on fear here. Fear, hate, and loneliness. I balled my fists, ready to pound a tree or something as another question echoed in my brain.
But what if it's true? You've seen him fight to keep you safe from harm.
If he loves you, he'll keep you safe from everything. Even if the threat is him.
My eyes blurred with tears. Doubting Don's love was torture, but knowing he loved me and we couldn't embrace it anymore was twice as agonizing.
A fallen branch cracked sharply. My next step fell unevenly, got tangled in wiry roots, and they pulled. Hard.
Next thing I knew, I was on the ground sobbing, folding my arms tight for comfort. I reached for my sprained foot, rubbing the sore knot beneath my sock.
The dense forest became dizzying. Wild and scary. I couldn't have told anyone where I was for all the money in the world.
Maybe I've passed through the ether, I thought hopefully. I just want to go home. All the way to Kalispell and then Sioux Falls. I'd rather think about Ryan on my old turf than be reminded of this bullshit every time I see the mountains.
More honest pangs shot through my chest. They told me I'd miss Don horribly, no matter how much he brushed me off, or how many miles I put between us.
Love was never rational, was it? Let alone easy.
“I see you've come to your senses.” The voice I wanted to hear just then rang out behind me.
I spun to see Emmerick and almost fell on my ass a second time. A fallen tree caught me on the side. I staggered up to face him, wondering if he was really there or just a hallucination projecting from my mind.
“It's okay, female. I'm not here to hurt you.”
I wanted to punch him. If this unassuming old man didn't have the ability to change himself into a thousand pound grizzly bear and rip me apart, I would have.
“What do you want?” The rancor in my voice surprised even me.
“I'm here to help you get home.” For the first time ever, I saw a smile on his thin lips as he stepped forward. “You're obviously lost out here, and I want to help return you to your people. It's the best thing for everyone.”
“You don't want me to keep doing your busy work?”
Emmerick shook his head like I'd asked the dumbest question in the world. “No. You've given me enough material to think about for a few years. As far as I'm concerned, your work with the clan is done.”
“And I'm supposed to think the rest of the Elders approved this?”
His smile disappeared. Slowly, he raised a long, bony finger to his lips. The hiss escaping them sounded like a cat rearing up to fight.
“Shhh. Our little secret. The fools on the Council don't know what's good for them. Neither does Don.”
“Don't you dare talk about him,” I growled. “You're the reason I'm out here. You and your records.”
“Now, who's the liar? Franklin had a little chat with me this evening. He told me about Don's visit, how he had to spill the beans about some very unpleasant history...”
Emmerick moved forward, and stopped just short of taking my hand. If he tried it, I swore I'd scream, and claw, and –
Ah, hell. I don't know what to do. Much as I don't want to admit it, this monster is my only ticket out of here.
And right now, I'd rather walk with the devil than go back to Don.
“Okay. But I don't want to talk to you and I definitely never want to see you again.”
Emmerick's hand danced out in a flourish, accepting the evil bargain. And probably my soul too. The gentleman act made me want to vomit.
Regardless, I walked on, letting him get a little ahead of me as the forest paths narrowed. Emmerick's tall, cloaked form moved steadily through the fog, a giant shadow guiding me away from this nightmare.
I focused on his dark form, trying my best not to think about Don during the long march. Naturally, it didn't work. I was so preoccupied trying to forget I didn't see the huge shape closing on us up ahead.
When the bear stopped a few feet from Emmerick, I held my breath. Was it another shifter? Or a wild animal?
“Who's that?” Emmerick sounded like he shared my surprise and uncertainty. “You're not supposed to be out here! Go back to the clan. These are human lands.”
The beast took another step toward us. I saw the lightning in its eyes, the gold flecks, and I knew it wasn't a wild grizzly.
The bear stood. Shifter or not, the fearsome sight set my heart racing.
I stumbled backward. Emmerick moved forward, yelling angrily at the beast and waving his hands. At one point, his fist darted out, punching the huge bear in the side.
The behemoth looked down, almost in disbelief, and then swung back. I screamed as the woods were filled with a sound like a large sheet tearing in two.
Emmerick fell. I scurried past him, keeping my distance from the bear.
He wasn't wounded. The beast's calculated claw had only torn his large cloak, but if the claws had been just one inch longer...
“You dirty, underhanded, ungrateful little shit!” Emmerick popped up, smoke practically shooting from his ears. “This is for your own good. You're just too dumb to know it! This is your last chance: turn back now.”
The bear charged, jaws stretched wide and spittle flying. Emmerick fell backward. His bare, wrinkly flesh rippled beneath the cloak.
Now, the fabric tore all the way. The shredded cloak fell to the ground as Emmerick the bear trampled over it.
I screamed again, covering my ears. Disturbed birds fluttered in the darkness, no doubt wondering why their cold, peaceful forest had suddenly become a battleground.
I jumped behind a giant log, and just in time. The bears were snarling, throwing fists and jaws, tearing at each other's fur.
Jesus. Why did I have to lose that bear spray on my first trip here?
I knew I was helpless. All I could do was hide as their fight raged on, over a ton of raw muscle, teeth, and claws moving like a roaring tornado.
One of them broke, defeated. The bear took off, much faster than anything that size should be allowed to run.
The log I was hiding behind rumbled like it was hit with an earthquake as the bear's huge body smacked into it, groaned, and then kept going.
I threw myself on the ground like a soldier escaping bombardment. When I finally looked up, the woods were still, filled with distant scampering footsteps and very heavy breathing.
I saw a naked, bleeding, and dazed Don leaning on another fallen trunk just a few feet away. Several long gashes shimmered on his chest, releasing dark blood in thin rivulets.
“Don!” I didn't think about the recent past. I just ran to him, and pressed my hands tight to his wounds.
Pain twisted his beautiful face. “It's worse than it looks. I've taken bigger beatings than this.”
“We have to get you to the cabin!
If we're out here too long, there's no way those won't get infected. Do you know how we'll get back from here?” He straightened up, leaning gently on my shoulder to get his bearings.
“This way,” he said raggedly.
My nerves were still humming like recently plucked viola strings. I slid my hand into his, forgetting about our recent breakdown. No way was I getting lost out here again, and I certainly wasn't leaving myself a meal for some bear, grizzly shifter, or whatever else lurked between these trees.
Squeezing my fingers through his seemed to help steady him. We were on the path for more than twenty minutes when I finally spoke.
“Are you still doing alright? I'd say we should stop and rest, but...” I didn't need to say more. He knew damn well what might happen out here.
“No. We have to keep going. I just want you to be safe.”
Drop the hero act. It isn't always about me. Hell, I was letting Emmerick lead me to safety just a few minutes ago. There's nothing safe about living with the Grizzly Bone Clan.
His hand burned strangely warm in mine. Maybe it was the blood, the rage, the cocktail of warrior hormones coursing through his body.
The fire beneath his skin should've been comforting. Instead, it burned painfully, knowing I might never feel his luscious heat again.
“I think you saved me from making a stupid mistake,” I whispered softly, blotting away the last of his blood from the cut above his breast.
The cold air during our long walk back to the cabin had sealed up his wounds. I ushered him into the bathroom and started tending the tears in his gorgeous flesh. It was a relief to discover they weren't nearly as deep as I'd feared.
“I know you wanted to leave, Sam. And I don't blame you one bit.” Don looked up at me, the sparks in his eyes glowing like lonely stars.
“I was a fool,” I admitted. “I was scared, didn't know how to take the news. I didn't appreciate what you were trying to do...I was ready to let Emmerick lead me away from here.”
Don growled underneath his breath. The thin hair on his arms bristled beneath my touch, bigger than the goosebumps on any man, rippling the way only a shifter's flesh can.
Love to Bear: A Werebear Shifter Romance Page 9
