He waved her off as he leaned his elbow on the tall table in the corner. “Not hungry.”
“Seb… they are all delicious. Everything’s perfect. I’ve never heard so many compliments.”
The music started and both of them turned to the bandstand. The committee had booked a local band called the Wall Cats. They were fronted by two female vocalists, Nicole and Carrie, who could drift from pop to jazz ballads, and, of course, catchy renditions of classic favorites. They were backed by another woman playing bass and three men playing keyboard, guitar, and drums, respectively.
A sultry version of Rita Ora’s “Anywhere” rang through the lodge and the attendees were captivated. When she finished, Nicole stepped forward. “Good evening, everyone. We’re the Wall Cats. I think this is a magical place to ring in the New Year! Do you agree?”
The crowd cheered and the singers burst into Maroon Five’s “What Lovers Do” and the party was underway.
Seb stalked the perimeter, assessing the food and perusing the crowd to see if they were engaged, as if this were just another of his events. When the song transitioned to Donna Summer’s “Bad Girls” he spotted Stephanie going wild on the dance floor, spinning both Gertrude and Winifred around her. Stephanie caught Seb watching and danced over, crooking her finger.
Backing up, Seb felt the edge of the buffet table against his upper thighs. One more millimeter and his butt would be in the food.
“I thought I was an idiot,” he said to put her off.
She narrowed her eyes and fluttered her hand up and down. “Who are you wearing?”
“What is this, the red carpet?” At her continued unrelenting stare he replied, “Dolce & Gabbana.”
Wolf whistling, she reached out and felt the butter-smooth charcoal wool. He squirmed, uncomfortable under her gaze. “Well, little brother, that is a very fine-looking suit.”
She was wearing a dove-gray Alexander McQueen knit dress that hugged her curves like a second skin. He wondered wryly if the charity gala was created as an excuse to wear the clothes he’d gifted her over the years. Coiled gold-yellow curls trailed along her face, framing her cheekbones. By any measure his sister was a beautiful woman.
The tempo changed and one of the men stepped forward to rap Drake’s “One Dance.” With a gleam worthy of the wickedest Disney villainess, Stephanie pulled him onto the dance floor.
“I don’t dance.” But she could not be dissuaded. He moved awkwardly to the strong beat and tried to not be a bumbling dweeb. Around him, guests thrust to the rap, some with rhythm and others hopelessly off the beat. Seb knew where he fell. A hard body elbowed his back and as he spun to apologize the breath left his lungs in a whoosh and his legs turned to rubber.
“Sorr—” Matty started before staring as if caught in a web.
“Everyone needs one dance,” Stephanie singsonged to the beat, pleased at her pun before spinning away from them.
Go big or go home. Keeping his eyes locked on Matty’s, he shrugged as if their dancing was inevitable, maybe even casual and not the heart-crushing event his shuddering body betrayed.
As they moved together in awkward bursts, he bit his lip to keep from laughing because Matty danced like music was not a component of the process, legs jerking and arms flailing like he was trying to wave down a taxi. It was impossible not to smile.
A rueful look softened Matty’s eyes to amber. He stumbled along until the song ended and a slower song came on. They danced through that and then another, the band mixing eras like a time traveler with no set agenda.
“Let Me Love You” started and Matty blinked hard, tried for his trademark crooked grin. Seb could see it come up short. “I’m gonna go eat,” Matty murmured and took off.
THE cocktail food was swept away and the caterers had set up the dinner buffet. Seb had chosen simple dishes: flank steak, chicken paillard, and baked salmon. A half dozen vegetables, mixed for color and texture, served as side dishes. The lines formed on both sides of the hall, and plates filled quickly.
The band left the stage and instrumental music piped over the speakers. Franklin Tate came up behind Seb and patted his back. “Gotta hand it to you, son, the food’s been fantastic. Better than last year’s caterers and definitely better than the grub I whipped up our first year.”
Seb had heard about that, sliders and pigs in a blanket. Truthfully, he wished he’d been there that year, partaking in the waffle fries and carrots with ranch dressing. “It’s not the food,” Seb volunteered. “It’s the company.” He ducked his head and fought the flush heating his cheeks. “I’m honored to have been a part of it this year.”
“Well, we loved having you. Hope it’s the start to your coming back every year. Cheryl’s never been happier, I gotta tell you.” The older man’s chin pointed to where his mom chatted with a slew of her fellow Main Street proprietors. Seb swallowed. Franklin continued, “I heard dessert’s gonna be special.”
Grateful for the change in subject, Seb replied, “Yes. I hope everyone thinks so.”
At eleven, the caterer alerted Seb that they were starting their last setup. He followed her to supervise the final food act. He’d selected cakes and pastries that both his mother and sister adored. Between the desserts would be set a star made of ice, completing the theme of “Starry Ice.”
The band was back onstage, and Seb sucked in a breath in anticipation. “Let’s bring some holiday magic back.” Nicole paused, eyes scanning the crowd. “Matty… this one’s for you from Baz.” Right on cue.
Matthew
SINCE they’d danced, Matt had avoided Baz. He knew that both Ma and Steph wished they’d at least talk and get back to a friendly place, but it hurt too much.
He nibbled at his dinner and bounded from group to group, chatting. Everyone was thrilled with how the evening was turning out. Anthony Nerri mentioned how impressed he was with Cameron’s lighting. “There’s this blue-haired boy now,” Anthony added with a bemused look. “You know him, right?”
“I do. He’s a grad student at RISD. Nice guy.” That made Anthony smile.
Of course, he couldn’t help but see Baz every time he looked up. Floating around the edges of the space in his elegant, fitted dark gray, three-piece suit that doubtless cost as much as a year’s worth of groceries.
By the time dessert was rolling out, Matt was prickly with energy and tipsy on the never-ending champagne. What he needed was coffee, he thought with a groan, before he ended up on stage doing something ridiculous.
That’s when he noticed the side tables now were covered with chocolate and buttercream delights. Large silver urns of coffee beckoned. Something winked at him and as he walked closer, he noticed the stars. He assumed they were glass at first, then realized they were ice sculptures. Dozens of them, interspersed with the sweets.
Stephanie sidled up to him. “Stars, Starr… imagine that.” She winked and walked away.
Matt reached for a cup just as he heard his nickname spoken by the lead singer dedicating a song to him from Baz. The lights dimmed as the music started. “Chestnuts roasting on an open fire….”
He hadn’t heard anyone approach and startled when a voice sang close by, “Yuletide carols being sung by a choir ….”
Despite standing in a room filled with people, Matt felt like he and Baz were in a cone of silence. “You hate this song,” he reminded.
“That’s because I never understood it.”
Matt’s face must have shown his confusion because Baz smiled at him, small but fond and carefully held out his arm. “Walk with me? Please.”
Matt placed his hand in the crook of Baz’s arm and let himself be led to a quiet corner at the end of a long row of decadent confections. Two tall glasses stood alone, filled with frothy cream and topped with whipped cream and red-and-white striped straws.
Matt smiled despite himself. “Are those milkshakes?”
Baz nodded. “I had them made special for us.”
The song continued, repeating the refrain, and M
att forced his jiggling leg still. Unable to deal with Baz’s intense stare, he let his eyes wander past the glasses till he spotted an incongruent set of ice sculptures, on their own table, away from the sentinels of stars.
Swans.
He did look up then. “You put swans in all your events. I remember you told me that.”
“One,” Baz said. Matt furrowed his brows and started to ask what that meant but Baz continued. “It’s like a signature. One ice swan.”
Matt looked pointedly back to the table at the two swans facing each other on a silver tray, forming a glimmering heart. He searched Baz’s eyes.
“I’m sorry I didn’t mention the job offer straight off… especially after we…. It was wrong not to tell you. Talk it out with you. But you have to know, it wouldn’t have mattered what you said because I’m not taking the job.”
“Why not?”
“At first I thought I had to take it. The money was great and I’d be able to save up enough to send Chance and Rowen to any college they want one day. Plus extra for Mom and enough to keep Stephanie in those exorbitant clothes she loves.”
“Steph doesn’t want you to—”
Baz reached out and held his upper arms. “I know that now. I see where my thinking was all messed up for years, my priorities out of whack. I don’t want to leave Chance and Rowen again for years. To return when they are teenagers and don’t remember these few days we had together. I want to be here for the next puppy day. Want to help Mom out in the store on weekends when it gets busy. Want to set up Stephanie with some nice men.”
Matt couldn’t help but laugh at that. Losing steam, Baz fell silent and Matt brought his hands up to Baz’s shoulders, eyes direct on his because some things should be said when souls were touching.
“You’re thinking of staying? In Fir Falls?”
Baz’s eyes glistened, pools of moisture flooding his lower lids. He held Matt’s eyes. “I want to make a go of my own event firm, helping businesses upstate. Closer to home.” Baz looked down. “That is, if you think that’s a good idea?”
Matt pulled Baz into a hug. It lasted a long time and struck Matt as being filled with ten years of unspoken words. He knew he needed to say something about that.
“I’m sorry too.” He backed up so he could once more meet Baz’s eyes. “For the abrupt way I ended it when we were in high school. I’ll be honest. I didn’t have it to give then. But I’m sorry you were hurt.”
“It’s different now?”
“Like you said, I’ve learned a few things about what matters.” He shrugged with a chuckle. “Your family matters to me more than anything. And… spending this time with you. I want to get to know you so much better.”
There was a glint of challenge in Baz’s gaze. “You said you were falling in love with me.”
“You said you fell for me at seventeen.”
“Then and now,” Baz said. “I love you, Matty.” It wasn’t exactly unexpected, but it still felt like the proverbial arrow to his heart.
“I….” Matty smiled because, hey, this wasn’t anywhere near as hard as he’d imagined. “I love you too.”
The voice doing the countdown over the speakers stopped Matt from trying to decipher what Baz’s melted silver gaze meant.
“Almost the New Year,” Baz said.
Matt looked back over his shoulder at the swans. “There are two of them. You said you always had one.”
“That was another mistake I’d been making. Chance told me swans mate for life. It’s wrong to have just one.”
On the final second of the year, Matt crushed Baz’s lips with his own.
Sebastian
THE piano player was singing “You’re My First, My Last, My Everything” in a decent tribute to Barry White.
Seb clutched Matty’s shoulders and let himself drift while the words washed over him. Meeting Matty’s intimate stare, he flushed to his neck.
“Don’t think that because I wasn’t able to commit to a relationship with you back then, that I didn’t feel anything,” Matty said softly.
Surprised, Seb parted his lips in wonder.
Eyes locked, Matty continued, “I knew you were special. I just didn’t know what to do about it.”
The song died around them. Seb caught Steph and their mother smiling at them from the side. It was unlike him to want to display so much publicly but he brought his arms around Matty’s neck and whispered, “It feels like I’ve waited a lifetime for this. For you. I love you.”
Soft lips brushed his temple. “I love you too.”
Swerving around the dance floor, Seb heard the opening notes to “Unforgettable.” The band seemed to have tapped into his psyche.
“Hey,” Matty said, voice high with astonishment. “I just realized I never bought you a Christmas gift.”
Seb flushed. “I didn’t either.” Remembering their night in the Victorian mansion, his face felt hot enough to burn. Of course, Matty noticed.
“What?”
“You’re going to laugh given all my grousing about the holidays.”
“Well now you have to tell me.”
Glancing around and noting all the other dancers distracted, he placed a small kiss on Matty’s lips. “I think Santa gave me a present this year.”
Matty leaned in for another soft sweet kiss. “Me too.” Then he yanked Seb closer and spun them manically, smile as bright as starshine. “So, I’m offering this simple phrase…. Merry Christmas to you,” he sang off-key right in his ear.
Seb tucked his chin into Matty’s shoulder, certain that moon rays had to be shooting out of him, swathing the hall with silver mist. Soon, Seb thought, he’d pop another simple phrase. But for now, the stars in Matty’s eyes were enough to light his world.
Epilogue
Christmas Day, three years later
Matthew
“YOU have to stop calling her that.”
Given that it was the hundredth time at least that Baz uttered those words to Matt, he bit back the smile and dutifully agreed. It took only fifteen minutes before he forgot again.
“No—time to get dressed for presents.”
Baz glared at him. “She uses the word ‘no’ more than any other. If you shorten her name that way it’s confusing. Matty….” Brows down, Baz let out an exasperated breath.
“She needs a nickname.”
“I don’t see why. Noelle is a beautiful name.”
“It is very beautiful. Just like she is.” Matt lifted their daughter out of her portable crib and put her down to watch her totter off until the pocket door thwarted her.
Feeling the pelting frustration behind him, he figured he might as well just double down and started humming a certain holiday tune as he pulled Noelle’s holiday clothes from her Wonder Woman suitcase. Baz disappeared into the adjoining bathroom without a sound.
The dress was a gift from Stephanie. Toddler couture, he figured, and shuddered at the imagined price tag. The years had been good to Cheryl and Stephanie’s business and their online expansion was now as profitable as their brick-and-mortar shop, essentially doubling their profits. He knew he sold a tidy sum himself through their network of art dealers.
Noelle squirmed as he pulled up her white tights and Matt again wondered how it was that she took after him quite this much given that they didn’t share DNA. Physically she resembled Baz more, with a darker skin tone and nearly black hair. But her eyes were a warm brown that reminded him of Rowen. It had been ten months since the adoption finalized. She’d been thirteen months when they’d brought her home in early February and now she was going to turn two in a little over a week. And this was her first Christmas with them.
“Elle.”
Matt startled and spun to find Baz right behind him. Baz grinned when he spotted Noelle all dolled up for the holidays. “What?”
“No is a ridiculous nickname. But I can live with Elle.”
Matt bit back a laugh. “You can, eh? But can she live with it?” He spun to Noelle and patte
d her silky hair. “What do you think?”
“No.”
Their eyes met and they both cracked up. He saw the moment Baz caved in the helpless way his mouth twitched before he swooped her up. “C’mon, No. Everyone’s waiting on us.”
Sebastian
SEB’S nieces accosted them the minute they passed the great room’s entryway. Since Noelle had entered their lives, both Matty and he had been relegated to second fiddles. All they wanted was to play with their new cousin. At the beginning he’d worried about Matty’s feelings given how much his husband adored Chance and Rowen. But Matty had simply said, “She’ll never be lonely.” Seb had kissed him hard after that.
Eight-year-old Chance was now in third grade. Her sister had started first grade and Chance assumed the role of elder statesperson, showing her sister the ropes. Seb watched Matty walk Noelle into the room where she immediately ran to the tree. Rowen distracted her and reminded her not to touch and he met Matty’s gaze from across the room, sharing a smile.
“Was I into everything like that?” Seb asked his mom as she emerged from the kitchen.
She wiped her hands on her apron. “No. You were always such a neat boy. I think that’s how you liked to bring order to your world. Stephanie on the other hand….”
As if summoned, his sister appeared. “Stephanie what?” But she never bothered to hear her mother’s reply. “Where’s my niece?”
Like her daughters, Stephanie doted on Noelle as if she’d literally hung the stars in the heavens. “Oh my goodness, it looks so cute on her.”
“You have to stop spending money on her.” There was no need as both he and Matty were doing fine financially. His business was steady and Matty’s art was gaining international recognition, with a showing in London a looming possibility.
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