by Tara Shuler
“It’s beautiful,” I whispered, my fingers tracing the delicate pattern.
“Open it,” Max requested.
I lifted the lid, and the box began to play “Moonlight Sonata.”
“Oh, Max,” I breathed. “How did you know this was one of my favorite songs?”
“Is it?” Max asked, genuinely surprised. “I just thought of you when I heard it. What song is it?”
“It’s Moonlight Sonata,” I answered. “I adore it. It was the first song I learned to play without sheet music.”
Max’s eyes were suddenly drawn to the large grand piano in the back of the room.
“You play the piano?”
I nodded. “I started taking lessons when I was five.”
“I’d love to hear you play it sometime,” Max said. “I wish I could hear it today, but I have to get home.”
I stood up, placing the box gently on the coffee table. “Let me walk you to the door.”
Max turned to me as he stepped out into the chilly December air. His dark eyes smoldered as he stared piercingly into mine. He reached out and placed one hand on my arm and leaned forward.
I thought he might try to kiss me, but he only said softly into my ear, “Merry Christmas, Alice.”
I felt his breath warm against my face. My heart began to beat a little faster, and I noticed how his brown hair fell lightly over his muscular shoulders. He was startlingly attractive – for a human. I felt myself sway a little, swooning.
“Thank you for the box,” I breathed. “It was indescribably beautiful.”
“I hoped you would like it,” he said quietly, his hand still on my arm. “The angels reminded me of you, too. You look like one, you know.”
I must have blushed crimson. I felt my face grow hotter, and I turned my eyes downward in embarrassment.
“I do,” I said. “I really love it.”
“I’m so glad,” he said. “I wish I didn’t have to go.”
“Me, too,” I said truthfully.
Max wrapped his strong arms around me in a hug – surprisingly gentle for his build. I felt warm and protected in his arms, and my hands reached under his black leather jacket to hug him back. The muscles of his back tensed underneath his tight shirt, and I felt them quiver slightly at my touch. As he pulled away from the hug, I noticed him pause briefly as though he were smelling my hair. His eyes were closed. Then he sighed and squared his chin, turning to walk to his car.
Just before he got in, he looked straight at me. “I’ll see you soon?” It sounded like a question rather than a statement.
“I hope so,” I agreed honestly.
Max smiled and nodded, and got into his car and drove away. I stood in the doorway and watched until his car disappeared in the distance. It was several more seconds before I could finally bring myself to close the door.
I pushed the door slowly and gently until it clicked shut, and I let my hand linger there a few seconds, leaning against it with my head hung. Inexplicably, I hadn’t wanted him to leave.
Again, I was startled by a sharp knock at the door. I opened it breathlessly, hoping Max had come back. Instead, I was met by Kai who was glaring at me – his eyes narrow and his hands balled into tight fists by his side.
“Kai!” I gasped, throwing my arms around him despite his vengeful look.
Despite his initial fury, he relaxed almost immediately, wrapping his arms around me and squeezing as though he might never let go.
“Alice…” he whispered softly into my hair.
“Oh, Kai,” I gushed. “I’ve been so worried about you. Where have you been?”
Kai pulled back slightly and took my face in his hands. His pale eyes darted around my face, exploring every detail as though he hadn’t seen me in years. His eyebrows were furrowed, and he looked distressed. I put my hands over his wrists as he held my face, and I searched his eyes, pleading with him to tell me what was wrong.
“Where have you been?” I asked again.
“Let’s not talk about it today,” he said. “It’s Christmas.”
With that, he pulled a tiny package out of the pocket of his black trench coat. It was wrapped in newspaper.
“I had no money, so I couldn’t get proper wrapping paper,” he apologized. “I’m sorry.”
I tore open the paper and found a tiny box inside. I lifted the lid, and inside I found a small seashell. It was perfect – not a blemish on it. The dull ivory shell was covered in small ridges. The spot where it would have attached to the other half of the shell was a pale brown. I turned it over and the inside was a shiny, pale pink. I stroked it gently.
“You’ve been to Tybee?” I asked.
Kai nodded. “I found this where we sat together on the beach the night we met.”
Waves of remorse washed over me as I remembered the scene in the elevator – the look of pain and horror on Kai’s face as the doors slid open and revealed my indiscretion.
“Kai, I…” I started to apologize.
Kai placed his fingertips over my lips.
“Shh,” he said. “Not today.”
I nodded in acknowledgement. He didn’t want to ruin Christmas by bringing it up. I hooked my elbow through his and pulled him inside.
“Dinner is almost ready,” I said, and he managed a tiny smile.
We went into the living room and Will and my mother greeted Kai warmly. They were genuinely happy to see him again.
“Sit down,” I told Kai, pointing to the sofa.
He took a seat beside my mother. I kneeled beside the Christmas tree and carefully lifted Kai’s gift from beneath it. I crossed the room and placed it in his hands, sitting beside him.
He stared at the gift for several minutes before he realized it was really for him. “You got me a gift?”
“Of course,” I said. “Open it.”
Kai opened it slowly. He still seemed unsure, as though the gift couldn’t possibly be for him. He lifted the lid of the box and I noticed his eyes looked glassy, as though he might cry. He took the paint set out of the box and turned it over in his hands.
“I needed this,” he said. “Thank you, Alice.”
He placed the paint set back in the box and hugged me close. I thought I felt his chin quiver on my shoulder. I stroked his smooth burgundy hair gently.
“You’re welcome,” I breathed into his ear.
“Ma’am?” I heard the maid say. “Chef says dinner is ready.”
“Thank you, Laura,” my mother returned. “Are you all ready to eat?”
It was a pleasant dinner. We had a beautiful brown sugar-glazed ham, candied sweet potatoes, green beans, potato salad, steaming hot rolls, and sweet potato pie for dessert. It was much the same as other Georgia families would be having for Christmas dinner. In many ways, we were very much like humans. Few people would have been able to tell we were different at a glance.
After dinner, Mother loaded It’s a Wonderful Life into the DVD player. It was a tradition in my family to watch it every Christmas. Kai sat between my mother and me on the sofa, and he took my hand and held it between his own. His head rested on my shoulder, and his hair spilled across it.
It seemed so natural to be around him. He fit in with us as though he’d always been there – an integral part of the family. When he was gone, nothing seemed right in the world. Now that he was back, our family was complete once more.
When Kai had been gone, I realized how important he was to me. I’d been growing frustrated with his possessiveness and his desperate clinginess. After he left, I realized I was glad to have someone who loved me so much, and who needed me as much as Kai did.
I reached across me and stroked Kai’s arm with my free hand. He lifted his head and looked deep into my eyes. I could tell there was nowhere else he would rather be than with me. I smiled at him, and he returned his head to my shoulder.
What had I done? This fragile, wonderful guy who loved me with all of his heart was now damaged because of my momentary lack of strength. One act, on
e desperate, selfish act, had taken away Kai’s entire world. It had caused him pain I would never be able to take back.
I needed to explain to him what had happened in that elevator. Surely, he would understand if I could just tell him. But Christmas was not the day for such things. I wanted to give Kai this one day before I dredged up those awful feelings. Christmas, at least, would be happy.
Chapter Ten
Apologies
Late Christmas night, after Mother and Will had gone to bed, Kai and I were lying on the sofa watching the lights on the Christmas tree flicker and the flames in the fireplace dance. Kai leaned against one arm of the couch, and I leaned back against his chest with his strong arms wrapped around me.
I dreaded the conversation I would need to have with him the next day, but I knew it had to be done. I couldn’t just leave things the way they were. Kai deserved an explanation.
It was so comfortable and so natural lying there in Kai’s arms that I finally fell asleep. I woke up to Kai placing me gently in my bed. I listened as he took off his shirt and let if fall to the floor, and then I felt him slide underneath the covers beside me and wrap his arms around me, and I fell asleep once more to the rise and fall of his chest.
When the sun peeked gingerly through my curtains the next morning, Kai was still lying beside me, holding me in his warm grasp. I sighed happily. I felt so safe there. So loved. I snuggled closer to his bare torso, trying hard not to wake him.
He was so beautiful lying there with the sun gently tickling his face. I reached up and stroked his cheek lightly. His full lips were parted slightly, and suddenly I was filled with an overwhelming desire to kiss him. As I placed my lips gently against his, he responded by wrapping his arms more tightly around me and kissing me back. I placed my hand on his cheek and my lips pressed harder against his. He gasped slightly, and I felt his breathing accelerate. I’d been away from him for so long, but his kiss was still magic. It still made me feel everything he felt.
Suddenly, he pulled away. I could see pain in his eyes, and his brow was furrowed. He backed away from me slightly.
“What’s wrong?” I whispered.
He scowled.
“I was just remembering you in the elevator.”
“Oh,” I sighed. “Kai, please let me explain that.”
“I don’t want to hear it,” he snarled.
“It wasn’t what it looked like,” I promised. “I…”
“Stop, Alice,” Kai interrupted, the pain in his eyes overwhelming. “There’s nothing you can say.”
“Yes,” I insisted, “there is if only you’ll listen!”
“Fine,” he said, his teeth clenched. “Then please explain to me how you kissing someone else – lying on top of him in an elevator – was anything other than exactly what it appeared to be.”
“I was hungry,” I admitted quietly. “I could smell him. I was so starved I could even hear his pulse rushing through his veins. I was afraid I might…”
“Wait,” he stopped me. “So you were hungry. How exactly did kissing him help that?”
I wasn’t sure what to say. When he put it like that, anything I might say could actually make the situation seem even worse.
“When I kissed him, it distracted me,” I finally admitted with a sigh.
I saw the muscles in Kai’s jaw tense as he clenched his teeth together. His eyes narrowed as he glared at me.
Through clenched teeth, he slowly snarled, “So kissing him distracted you enough that you forgot your hunger?”
“Yes,” I admitted, looking down at the blankets.
“And you thought telling me that would make me feel better?” he growled.
“Well, not when you put it that way.”
“What other way could I put it, Alice?” he shouted, jumping out of bed and storming toward the door.
In a flash, I scrambled off the bed and stepped in front of him, placing my hands on his bare chest to prevent him from leaving.
“It’s not what you think it is,” I insisted firmly.
“Do you love him?” he hissed.
“What?” I gasped. “No!”
“Okay, do you have any kind of feelings for him?” he demanded.
“I hardly know him,” I replied.
“You didn’t answer my question,” he said.
“No, Kai,” I snapped. “I don’t have any feelings for him!”
“But you are attracted to him,” he said.
My mouth gaped open, as I stood there aghast. What could I say to that? I couldn’t lie to Kai.
“That’s all the answer I needed,” he said, pushing past me and storming out of the room.
I opened my mouth to stop him, but the words wouldn’t come. I was frozen in place. I shivered anxiously. I was terrified I would lose him again. I took a deep breath and willed myself to move. Finally, I regained control of my body and I tore down the stairs after him. I heard the front door slam, and, throwing the door open after him, I raced into the yard.
“Kai, stop!” I shouted, slamming the door behind me.
He stopped, but did not turn around. I could see his bare shoulders heaving up and down with each ragged breath.
“I don’t love him!” I yelled, walking up behind him and placing my hands on his bare back.
Kai said nothing. I felt the muscles in his back twitch.
“I love you,” I whispered, placing my lips softly against the skin of his back.
He took a deep breath. I moved my hands around his body and wrapped my arms around him, pressing my cheek against his back and squeezing him tightly.
“Please don’t leave again,” I pleaded. “I love you.”
Kai’s head hung, and he sighed. He turned to face me without breaking away from my hug. He placed his hands on either side of my face and looked deeply into my eyes.
“Never again,” he said, and I understood.
“I promise,” I agreed. “There is only you.”
He wrapped his arms around me and held me close, burying his face in my hair.
“Let’s go inside,” I suggested. “It’s freezing out here.”
Neither of us were wearing shoes, and Kai was shirtless and shivering. Together, we went inside.
Chapter Eleven
Hunter
On December 31, I was fiddling around with the digital camera I got for Christmas when my phone rang. I fumbled around in my purse and located it, flipping it open and pressing it to my ear.
“Hello?”
“Alice? It’s Max.”
“Oh, hi.”
“Can you come over later tonight?” Max asked. “I’m having a New Year’s Eve party. Jamie’s coming.”
“This is short notice,” I commented.
“I know,” he admitted. “I was supposed to be out of town, but my dad got called away on business last night and my mom said I could have a small party if I wanted to. Will you come?”
“Can I bring Kai?” I asked.
“Kai?” he questioned. “Oh, your boyfriend? Sure.”
“Okay, what time?”
“Ten o’clock tonight,” he answered. “I’ll email you my address.”
“Alright, we’ll be there,” I promised.
“’K, see you then,” he said, and he hung up.
Oh, dear. What had I done? I just promised that Kai and I would go to a party at Max’s house. Not only did Kai detest parties, as did I, but it was at Max’s house, of all places. I wondered how Kai was going to take this.
I knocked gingerly on Kai’s bedroom door, and he called out to invite me in, “Come in.”
I pushed the door open, and he was standing by his easel painting, as usual.
“Can I talk to you a sec?”
“Of course,” he said. “What is it?”
“We just got invited to a New Year’s Eve party.”
“Oh?” he commented. “Where at?”
“Max’s house,” I admitted.
He frowned, but he kept painting. “I see.”
<
br /> “I asked him if you could come and he said yes,” I said quickly. “Jamie will be there, and some other people, too, I think.”
He nodded, concentrating on his painting.
“So will you go with me?”
“Yes,” he said quietly.
“Are you sure?” I asked. “You hate parties.”
“So do you,” he reminded me.
“I know, but…”
“I said I’ll go,” he interrupted me.
I smiled. I walked over and put my arms around him. “Thank you.”
“Anything for you,” he said. “Besides, I can’t exactly leave you alone with him, can I?”
“You could,” I answered. “But you wouldn’t.”
“Definitely not,” he agreed.
“It’s at ten o’clock,” I said. “He’s going to email me his address.”
Kai kissed my forehead.
“I’ll drive.”
“I love you,” I sighed wistfully, looking up into his eyes.
“I love you, too,” he said, planting a soft kiss on my lips.
Max emailed his address, as promised, and Kai and I showed up at his house a little after ten. Max answered the door looking especially handsome in a black button down shirt and black dress pants. He gawked at me in my white dress, and I noticed him attempt to suppress a scowl when he noticed Kai.
“So glad you could both make it,” he said, beckoning us inside.
Max’s house was almost as large as mine, and much larger than Jamie’s. The foyer was liberally decorated with black and white balloons and streamers, and the steady, rhythmic pulse of the stereo blared from somewhere inside the house.
Kai took my hand as Max led us down the hall, through large wooden double doors and into a very large living room. The floor was covered with a thick red carpet, and the whole left wall was made of glass doors. The doors led out into the back yard where a large swimming pool was covered for the winter in a black tarp.
A fire was burning in the huge marble fireplace on the opposite side of the room, and the obnoxious sound of dance music rippled out from the speakers in the far right corner and bored its way into my brain. This hip-hop trance stuff wasn’t exactly my favorite.
