by Gina Whitney
“I’m yours. My pussy is yours.”
“No one else’s.”
“No one else’s,” I repeated his words back to him.
His lips attacked my neck—sucking, kissing, licking. “Tell me you’ll never offer yourself to anyone else ever again. No matter the reason. No matter what.”
This was what I craved—him between my legs, deep inside of me, his demanding mouth on my body. Endorphins dizzily swirled deep within me, making me forget the torment my body had been through for days. “It’ll never happen again. No matter what.”
“That’s fucking right.” He pumped deeper and my eyes rolled back. “Eyes on me, Tesoro,” he said gruffly. Sweat began to bead above his brow, and the sounds we made together were downright primal, carnal. He then began to push into me—harder, more forcefully and steadily—until my pussy began to milk his cock. “Oh, fuck. The way your pussy grips my cock… I will never get tired of feeling that.” He began to move at a blurring speed. His dirty mouth rested against my ear, spewing filth. The kind of filth that lifted me, not degraded me.
He reached down, carefully bending my leg up against my body for a better angle. Pain pinched in my thighs, but the way his hand caressed the ache, as if he knew it was there, soothed it. He ground himself into a screaming orgasm, the soreness in my battered canal bringing me my own pleasure. Instinctively, I reached out to him, needing to grab onto him, to anchor myself to him in some way. I began to free-fall and I didn’t doubt he’d catch me. His eyes met mine and something passed between them. I didn’t know what, though. He removed my hand, quickly kissing it.
“I’ll be right back. I need to clean you up.” He pulled out of me, still erect, leaving me empty and cold.
I felt bereft that he pulled out of me so soon, leaving me insecure and emotional, and it only served to amplify the pains that riddled my body. I didn’t like it at all. However, not being a whiney, clingy bitch, I decided to let it go. I decided I’d think about it later, when I had time alone.
Yet the thought of time alone made me anxious.
After three days, I knew I had to leave Stefan’s penthouse and go home. My father expected me and would send out the search team if they found the shore house empty when retrieving me. And I couldn’t risk anyone finding me with Stefan. Our families were not ready for that yet. Stefan’s dad flew straight home after the news of Zeke’s attack and Stefan’s proclamation of Matty’s debt paid in full. I had asked him numerous times how he could do that without having the money or my brother’s blood, but he refused to answer me. He told me business was business. It angered me. After all I had been through, I was still treated as nothing more than a useless woman.
Ever since bringing me back to his place, he’d methodically cleaned and tended to my wounds. He made sure every injury was cared for. Between the salve, his attention, and the love that burned bright within me, I somehow felt a million times better. I’d never seen him so patient, so careful around me. It did something to me. And it changed something between us.
When Stefan and I first began seeing each other, moments like these were out of the question. Seeking sexual gratification, I’d found myself in the beds of other men—men that proved unworthy of me. Men that couldn’t give me what I needed. Couldn’t deliver the release I’d sought. But then Stefan came along. He reclaimed his control and gave me the kind of pleasure I never knew existed. As if he just knew my body and what to do with it better than I did. The other men had talked the talk, but when I’d let them have my body, they couldn’t walk the walk.
It wasn’t easy with Stefan, though. After all, he was the son of Mick Giannotti. But I hadn’t known that at the time. Six months before meeting him, his older brother—the one molded to be in the business—had been killed. His father recklessly pointed the finger at my family, causing an immediate feud between us. Stefan was forced to come back into the fold, taking the place of his brother, yet with the rival heating up, I had never met, nor seen him. But it became crystal clear who he was the first time we were together. The family medallion around his neck left no doubt about it. And so the hushed and secretive relationship began.
But from the very beginning, our relationship was never anything more than sexual. I desperately craved his demanding attitude and controlled nature in the bedroom. Being the eldest in an Italian family, especially one where the mother had passed, everything fell onto my shoulders. The house, taking care of Matteo, keeping up appearances for my father…all of it had been up to me. And then, once I’d received the education required of me, I was handed the books. Daddy had legit clubs and bars all around town. They were his cover for the drops. While he took care of the paper bags in the hidden safes beneath the bars, I was in charge of the legal finances and running the businesses. Sometimes, a girl just needed to let loose and be fucked—hard.
I wasn’t sure of Stefan’s reasons for his controlling nature, considering he’d never opened up to me before. But I could see in his eyes that his need was born from the same place mine was—family. So when we started this thing between us, that’s all it was. Straight up fucking. However, at some point, my feelings changed. His never did. Or at least he made it appear that they didn’t. It wasn’t until he showed up at Scarface’s apartment that his underlying feelings began to show themselves. And those three days he’d spent tending to my wounds, to my needs, to me…it left no room to question his feelings for me any longer.
However…it was evident that I was still nothing but a woman in his eyes.
I couldn’t win no matter what male I dealt with. I would always be the wrong gender.
Stefan drove me back to the shore house so that I could wait for the car that would take me to my father. He leaned in for a kiss, but when I backed away, his eyes turned hard and cold.
Rejection stung like a bitch.
“I hate how you still see me as weak,” I proclaimed.
Stefan pulled away, acting as if I had slapped him across the face. His anger and defensive behavior were written all over his rigid expression. “That’s not true.”
“Well, you don’t see me as an equal. You won’t even tell me what happened to my brother’s debt—a debt you never even told me about to begin with.”
“I told you it was taken care of. What more do you need to know?” His fury spilled out with every word, covering me with an iciness I wasn’t sure how to deal with.
“After what I did to save him—”
“It was the stupidest thing you could’ve done,” he said angrily, interrupting me.
“Regardless, I was the only one willing to sacrifice anything. Not my father. Not my brother. Me! Stupid or not, I was the only brave one willing to put my own life on the line for someone I love.”
“And it just proves that emotion drives women; it leads them to make stupid decisions.”
“And if it were you? Would you rather I just sit back and make the ‘smart’ decision of doing nothing? If it came down to saving you…what would you want me to do?”
There…right there, in his eyes, I saw realization flash.
“Stupid or not, emotional or not…I did the only thing I could. Because I will not sit back and watch someone I love suffer. Even if it means I may die in the process. I will fight until my heart no longer beats in my chest for the ones I love.”
“I paid it off.”
My eyes opened wide in shock. “You? How? Why?”
“I learned a long time ago to never depend on my father’s resources. I’ve been building my own empire. Smarter than his. And it will be bigger than his.”
Hearing him speak with such power, such demand…it did something to me. This was a man ready to take the helm and lead, and he was a man I’d follow anywhere. Knowing he wasn’t a lackey like many of the guys his age in this life, was such a turn on.
“And when the time is right, Tesoro…we will rule that empire. And then you will be feared. Not the other way around. Men like Zeke will cower to you while you’re by my side.”
“Is that what you want or are you just saying that to appease me?” I tested.
His eyes hardened and his lips thinned. I could tell that the level of patience he once held had waned. “Have I ever told you anything to appease you, Tesoro? Have I ever given you a reason to question my word?”
I should’ve given in. I should have stopped while I was somewhat ahead. But I didn’t. I spoke my mind without care of the argument it would cause. “Yes. When you told me not to worry about my brother. I feel certain that was to appease me, and make me back down.”
“To protect you!” he screamed in the tight space of the car, his tone shrouding me like snow in an avalanche, chilling me to the bone. “I told you that to protect you, nothing else. Not that it did any good.” He mumbled the last part to himself, beneath his breath, but I heard it all the same.
“And what would’ve happened to him had I not taken a stand?”
Stefan leaned over the console and took my face in his hands, cupping my cheeks and sending warmth raging throughout my body. “I really wish you would stop referring to your foolishness as anything but. To answer your question, I may have my reasons for the decisions I make or for the things I will ask of you, but I would never allow anything to happen to your family. You need to trust me. In everything.”
I nodded into his palms and closed my eyes, taking in a deep breath. His scent overpowered me—woodsy and manly with a hint of spice and sex. I wasn’t one to back down or cower to anyone, but he had a way of softening my edges. He cooled my fires and calmed my storm. “I do trust you, Stefan.”
His lips softly grazed mine before he backed away, causing my eyes to open. “So this plan of mine…are you in? And before you answer that, I need to make things very clear to you. By saying yes, you’re agreeing to follow my lead. No matter what. No questions asked. My plan…my rules. It’ll take a lot of trust, but I promise you, you’ll be by my side in the end.”
“How exactly will I be by your side if my voice will be muted?”
“When climbing a mountain, Tesoro, you have a leader—a guide—and then you have the single-filed line behind, trusting the person in front. But once you reach the top, you line up side by side and admire the view. I need you behind me going up…but once we’re standing on the top, you will be right next to me. Only you.”
I nodded, no longer questioning him. I didn’t need to because he had my trust, my heart, and my soul. He hadn’t steered my wrong yet, and had given me no reason to believe he would.
The only thing I needed to do was quiet down my inner feminine voice, and allow him to speak…for now.
Returning back to my father’s house, I’d hoped to sneak in and hide out in my room until my nerves had settled some, but I had no such luck. Daddy sat on the couch in the formal room across from the foyer, elbows on his knees as if waiting for my arrival. The moment the front door opened, he was on his feet, charging at me with arms spread wide and a deeply furrowed brow. I understood his worry, but wished he would’ve held off on the affection just a little bit longer.
His arms hugged me tight and caused me to gasp, desperately holding in my pain. I didn’t do a good enough job, because he released me and took a step back, taking in my appearance for the first time. I watched silently as his eyes narrowed and glistened.
“Jordana…what happened? What’s happened to your face?” Concern and anger laced his tone, warring with one another.
“It’s not a big deal, Daddy. I went up to the market for some fresh fruit and got mugged. I’m fine, just a little busted up.”
“Who was it? Did they catch the fucker? Did he get away?” Daddy fired off question after question, not giving me a moment to answer.
“I don’t know who it was. I fought back and then was knocked down. He got away.”
“Did he take anything? Did you cancel your credit cards? How much cash?”
“Daddy,” I said, placing my hands on his broad shoulders to calm him down, “all I had on me was the bag of fruit. It was just the corner market. Everything is okay. I just need to lay down and relax please.”
He seemed torn between following my wishes and keeping me close. “Why didn’t you call me?”
Losing my patience, I looked him in the eye and said, “You sent me there because you had to deal with Matty, remember? I didn’t want you worrying about us both, especially since I was fine.” I gave him a quick peck on the cheek and then hauled my bag up the stairs to my room.
The silence felt overwhelming, suffocating even. I hadn’t been alone once since Scarface, other than the thirty minutes earlier while waiting for the family car to show up. But there was something about sitting in my childhood room, observing the innocence I once held, and knowing that I was no longer that person. I’d never be that person again. It didn’t matter how strong I was, Zeke took something from me I’d never get back.
A tear leaked from my eye before I even knew it, and I quickly wiped it away with the back of my finger, berating myself for showing any weakness. I’d made a vow to myself that I wouldn’t allow what had happened to me to break me. That monster might’ve torn me down, but Stefan built me back up. He remade me into a different person, a healed person. He’d given me his strength and promised me a future. All I needed to focus on was that.
I didn’t remember falling asleep, but I knew I had when I woke up covered in sweat, my throat raw and my heart pounding heavily in my chest. My door flew open and my dad came rushing in, out of breath and looking panicked.
He rushed to my side and held my face in his hands, almost scrutinizing my features. “What happened, sweetheart? What’s wrong?”
His genuine concern felt odd considering it’d been so long since he’d treated me like his child. I’d grown accustomed to being an adult, able to take care of myself. Don’t get me wrong, my father still took care of me, but in his own way—such as making sure I had someone to keep an eye on me most of the time, and providing me with a roof over my head. But I wasn’t naïve…I knew the only reason why he kept me in his house was to make sure he had someone to take care of things for him.
I shook my head and tried to catch my breath. “Nothing, Daddy. I just had a nightmare. I’m okay now.”
“I don’t know how much more I can handle here. First your brother, and now you. I can’t help you unless you talk to me. I can’t make you feel safe until you tell me what scares you.”
“Daddy,” I said condescendingly, “I’m fine. I spent a week alone with no one to talk to. The nights were dark and quiet. That’s enough to frighten any woman.” I played the gender card again, knowing he’d eat it up. As long as he still viewed me as a fragile female, he wouldn’t question me too harshly.
“Oh, sweetheart. I know you hate it there, but it’s the safest place for you. And you should never be scared of the nights there…we have a state of the art security system that would prevent anyone from getting to you. And the safe room is impenetrable. I wouldn’t send you there alone if it wasn’t the safest place in the world for you. I hate to say it, but it’s safer there than here with me.”
I nodded in compliance.
“If you’re up to it, I’d like to discuss Matty with you.”
That piqued my interest and set worry into my gut. Stefan told me that Matty was safe and I believed him. I hated questioning his word, but I couldn’t help it in that moment. In that moment, all I could feel was concern over my brother. “What about him, Daddy?”
“I had a meeting yesterday with Mick Giannotti’s son.”
I had to think…yesterday…I was with Stefan. How could he have gone to see my dad? Where was I? Then I remembered how he had effectively tired me out and I slept soundly. When I awoke, he was still there, so I just assumed he’d never left. Guess he did, and talked with my father.
“He’s made a deal with me. But I can’t speak of it to anyone. He took half the payment yesterday, and I’ll give him the other half next week. But as far as Giannotti is concerned, it’s paid in full
,” he explained in a hush tone, even though we were the only two in the room.
“I don’t understand. Why would he do that?”
“It’s a loan. I’ve essentially borrowed the other half from him to borrow time for Matty. But I know I can get that money by next week. He’ll add on a vig of course, but I can handle that. When I asked him why, all he said was he had his own reasons. But that I couldn’t mention it to anyone. I’m telling you in case anything happens. In case he’s playing both sides. Something doesn’t feel completely right, but I had no other choice.”
I hated to think of Stefan playing both sides, but I knew him. He wouldn’t lie to me. Especially after he made me trust him. I just needed to talk to him and ask him why he would take my father’s money when he’d told me that he paid the debt off himself.
“But what I’m worried most about is Matteo. Jordana, he’s gotten bad into the gambling and I fear he won’t stop. I had no idea the depths he’s gone with this until I spoke to Stefan Giannotti yesterday. I’m worried that this wasn’t enough of a scare to keep him away from the tables.” His eyes darkened and his gaze dropped to the floor at his feet. Opening up about his emotions wasn’t something I was used to seeing, and I didn’t know how to handle it.
It didn’t help that Matty looked like he was twenty-five and could walk into any casino without question. He flaunted his money—or his borrowed money—and loved the rich life. He liked affluent, beautiful women, but loved money more. I blamed it on the way we were raised, living in the life only made it easier to fall down that rabbit hole.
“I hate to say it, but he’s been bailed out too many times. Why would he change if we continue running to his aid, pulling him out of trouble? But don’t worry, we’ll get him help, Daddy,” I said in the hopes of giving him some comfort. But by “we,” I didn’t mean my father and myself… No, I meant Stefan and me.
We were a team on our way up a mountain.
I’d agreed to follow him.
