by Laura Kaye
Jamie’s stomach flipped. Is that an order, Sir?
The bubbles appeared and went away, appeared and went away, as if he was starting and stopping his words. Finally, No. It’s an invitation and a wish. And then on the next line: Don’t want to wait to see you.
There was that idiot grin again. Because he felt the same damn way. Me either. And I’d love to stay with you.
They’d been texting all week, and even sneaked in one late-night call that’d turned into a scene where Master Alex had made Jamie edge himself—masturbate right up until the point of orgasm and then stop to make it back off again. In the end, he hadn’t let Jamie come—the sadistic, sexy bastard—because he wanted Jamie wound tight when he returned.
Which seriously was not going to be a problem.
Especially since Alex had asked him to do a flogging demonstration with him at the big New Year’s Eve party. On top of the anticipation of seeing Alex again was the nervous excitement of doing a scene in public again—this time as a demonstration.
So, yeah, Jamie would be wound good and tight.
His mom popped into the room. “The lasagna’s browning, so just a few more minutes, boys.”
Jamie peered toward the doorway. Small but mighty had always described his mom to a T. A social worker who’d fought for disadvantaged kids her whole life, she had gray hair that now matched the gray eyes that Jamie had inherited. “Thanks, Mom. Smells amazing. Need help?”
She planted her hands on her hips. “I’m not going to turn down a chance to hang out with you on your last night home. So sure.”
Before pocketing his phone, he shot off one last text: Almost dinner here. See you tomorrow night
“Then put me to work,” he said, hauling his lazy ass off the couch.
In the kitchen, she had him set the table and cut fresh, crusty bread into thick slices, and they worked for long minutes in amiable silence.
And then his mother asked, “What happened with you and Liz?”
Gathering up the plates and silverware, Jamie shrugged. “Just didn’t work out.”
Earlier in the week, he’d mentioned casually that they’d stopped seeing each other. But he hadn’t had any idea what to say about Alex. If anything at all. Once he questioned whether he should tell them, however, he couldn’t stop sitting and spinning on it. And, of course, it wasn’t just his usual concerns of not wanting to build up their hopes and expectations around a relationship that was still new. It was also that he’d knock his parents sideways when he told them that he was with a man.
He had no idea how they’d react. Actually, he expected his mother to be cool. His dad, though? Jamie had no clue. His dad was old school, a navy man, the kind of guy who would, at once, give absolutely anyone the shirt off his back and, at the same time, rail against the news when he thought something was too politically correct.
And his parents had no reason to expect that Jamie might not be with a woman. Not when he was less than a week shy of his thirtieth birthday.
“Did you have a fight, or…” She shrugged. “I’m not trying to pry. I just want you to be happy. I can’t see what’s going on in your life when you’re all the way across the country.”
He arranged the last place-setting on the table. “I know. She and I had fun together, but we weren’t as compatible as it first seemed.”
“Well you’ll find someone even better,” Mom said, giving him a smile. Then she opened the oven door, revealing a bubbling pan of golden-grown cheese.
Jamie rushed over, eager to have something to do with his hands while his brain debated the wisdom of yelling out, I already have!
“Billy, dinner’s ready,” she called.
“Smells damn good in here, hon,” Dad said when he joined them. He was a tall, thin man with an easy smile and ready laugh, at least most of the time.
Dinner conversation turned to light, easy topics. Jamie’s job. Winter in Baltimore. His parents’ planned trip to Hawaii in the spring. But the whole time, he was thinking about Alex.
If he couldn’t share Alex with these two people, what did he think he was going to do in the rest of his life? His real life, outside the club and away from the community of people who were open to anything as long as it was safe, sane, and consensual.
Man up, Jamie.
It was the least Alex deserved from him. And the least he owed to deserve the man in return.
He set down his fork. Wiped his mouth. And spoke, “I want to share something with you guys. I’ve been wanting to all week, actually. But I’m leaving tomorrow and I don’t want to go without you knowing.”
“Everything okay, son?” his father asked, his brow furrowed.
Jamie smiled. “Actually, yeah. More than okay. I met someone a few weeks ago. It’s still new, but it feels like it could be something.”
His mother’s smile was immediate. “Well, Jamie, that’s great. Why didn’t you say something when I was asking about Liz?”
He swallowed hard. “Because his name is Alex. Alex McGarry. He’s a psychiatrist in Baltimore.”
Mom’s voice caught in her throat. Dad looked back and forth between Jamie and his wife, like he’d missed something. Jamie’s gut clenched around the big square of lasagna he’d eaten.
“A man,” Dad said.
He met his dad’s confused gaze. “Yes, I’m dating a man. I really like him. I’m happier than I’ve been in a while.”
“Okay, um,” Mom began. “I’m just, I’m afraid you’ve caught us off guard. I’m glad that you’re happy, of course. But are you saying you’re gay?”
“Bi, actually. Bisexual, I mean,” seeing the blankness in his father’s expression. “It’s not something I knew my whole life like some people do, I guess. It’s something I’ve figured out. Anyway, I wanted you to know about Alex.”
“I don’t understand what bisexual is,” Dad said, frowning. “I thought a person was either straight or gay.”
How much he’d learned about sexuality, his and in general, during his short time of being a part of Blasphemy’s community. And at the top of the list was the realization that sexuality was a spectrum, not a determination between a few set choices. “I’m not an expert in all this, Dad. I just know that I’m attracted to women and men. I think I have been for a while. And there was a lot I didn’t question about myself that, looking back now, I see in a new light.”
“Jesus, James. Is this just a phase or, I don’t know, a mid-life crisis at thirty?”
Jamie thought about Alex, and the question made him angry. “Not at all. In fact, I feel more serious about Alex than I’ve ever felt about anyone.”
His dad chuffed out a laugh. “Well. Come on, son. That’s not saying much given your track record.”
“Billy,” Mom chided. “That’s enough.”
“That’s great, Dad. Thanks for the support.” Jamie’s throat went tight. He’d worried about his father’s reaction, and it appeared he’d had good cause.
Mom raised her voice. It wasn’t the first time she’d had to play referee between them. “Jamie. Guys. Just wait a minute. Of course we support you. And if Alex is important to you, that’s all that matters to us. Right, Bill?”
The hesitation was a punch to the gut. “Sure,” his father finally said. “So what are we supposed to tell people?”
His mother frowned. “Bill—”
But Jamie talked right over her because are you fucking kidding me? “Way to make this about you, Dad. Damnit, this is why I waited all week to say something.”
“I’m just asking,” Dad said, frustration clear in his tone. “I’m just trying to understand.”
It didn’t feel like that’s what this was at all. “Why do you need to tell people anything? Just tell them your son’s dating someone and seems happy. Or if you’re feeling really adventurous, mention that your son has a boyfriend whom he really cares about.”
“A boyfriend,” he said, chuckling.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” Jamie threw up his hands and
shoved out of his seat.
“Watch your mouth,” Dad said.
Right. Because it was more important not to curse than it was to just accept your son for who and what he was—without belittling or criticizing or mocking.
Jamie turned on the tap to the sink. Rinsed the dirties that were within reach and loaded them into the dishwasher. His parents sat at the table whispering furiously. A quick peek showed that both of them were red-faced and angry. Great, so he’d caused a rift between them, too.
Finally, Dad left the table and the room without saying another word, and Mom came up and hugged Jamie from behind.
“I love you,” she said. “And I’m happy for you.”
“Thanks,” Jamie said, smacking off the water. He turned and sagged against the counter, exhausted by the way that’d gone down.
“Your father’s a stubborn old goat,” Mom said. “He’s behind you, too. Even though he fucked that up.”
The comment both made Jamie chuff out a little laugh and brought stinging tears to the backs of his eyes. “He did,” Jamie said.
It was a fuck-up that his father didn’t rectify before Jamie departed early the next afternoon. Which made him even more glad that Alex had invited him to come directly to his house. Because in a few hours’ time, he’d be right back where he belonged.
Eleven
A week was a long time to be apart from someone when you’d just accepted that you were in love with them. Which was why Alex had been pacing and peeking out his front windows and checking his phone every five minutes since Jamie texted that he was leaving the airport.
It wasn’t just that absence had made the heart grow fonder. And it hadn’t really taken Jamie’s departure to bring the emotions home. It was just that, in his solitude, Alex couldn’t hide from the reality—and the intensity—of what was going on inside him.
That, somehow, he’d fallen in love with a man he’d only known for a few weeks. A man new to the lifestyle Alex had built his whole life around. A man new to having relationships with other men. A man ten years his junior who, having just found out so much about his sexuality, might not be ready to settle down. When that was all Alex wanted.
To settle down. With Jamie.
“Fuck,” Alex bit out, peeking out the front window again. Because it was scary as hell to finally admit what he wanted. And to go after it.
Just then, a car pulled to the curb in front of Alex’s little bungalow.
Jamie.
Alex flew out the front door. Off the porch. Down the sidewalk. And then he pinned the man he loved against the side of his Range Rover, raked his fingers into his short hair, and kissed him with every bit of emotion he felt. Jamie sank into the kiss, moaning and wrapping his arms around Alex’s shoulders.
“That was the perfect way to come home,” Jamie said when they broke apart.
“I’m glad you’re here. Come on in.” He took Jamie’s carry-on roller bag and led him inside. “Hungry? Thirsty?”
Shaking his head, Jamie peered around, taking in his living room and the dining room beyond. The decor was a mix of the Mission style that coordinated with the house with some mid-century modern elements which more closely aligned with Alex’s taste. “No, Sir. I’m just beat.”
It was nearly eleven, so Alex couldn’t blame him for that. But there was something he needed him to know. He stepped in close. “Unless we agree to do a scene, I’m just Alex here. You don’t have to call me Sir. You don’t have to kneel. You can speak freely. We’re just two guys here.”
Smiling, Jamie grasped his hips. “Okay, Alex.”
Alex smiled, too. “I invited you over because I want to spend time with you before the party tomorrow night. Some time together outside of the club, you know?”
“I’d love that,” Jamie said.
“Then how about we go to bed—” Jamie grinned. Alex laughed. “To sleep. And then we grab some brunch in the morning and maybe see a movie or something.
“And the sex? Where does that fit in?”
Chuckling, Alex shook his head. “I have some big things planned for you tomorrow night. I want you in rare form.”
Jamie arched a brow. “I already am in rare form judging by the hard-on I have—from just being in your presence.”
“You are temptation personified, do you know that?” Alex kissed Jamie again. “Let me lock up and then we can head upstairs.” Alex gave the guy a tour of the place as he hit the lights, and man how he loved having Jamie here. He loved the company and the camaraderie and the energy.
Upstairs, they took turns in the bathroom, and then
Alex turned down the covers on his big king-sized bed. “Do you have a favorite side?”
“I usually sleep on the right side, but since I’m probably just going to lay against you most of the night, it doesn’t matter.”
Alex did a double take at the image Jamie made standing in his bedroom doorway, naked except for a pair of form-fitting dark-blue cotton boxers. “I like the sound of that,” he said. More than that, it was part of why he wanted to spend time with Jamie outside of the club. He felt so much affection for the guy, but sometimes he worried that, as a sadist, he didn’t show enough of it. Tonight, it was all he wanted to do.
Stripping down to his own boxers, Alex gestured to the bed and watched as Jamie climbed in and made himself comfortable sitting up against the pillows. “What?” he asked.
“Just enjoying seeing you in my bed.” Alex got in, too, and then held out an arm to invite Jamie to come closer.
He did. He fit his big body in along the nook of Alex’s, his head coming to rest on his shoulder, one thigh pulled up atop Alex’s legs. Alex wrapped an arm around Jamie’s shoulders and pulled him even closer. They both sighed.
“How was the trip home? Family good?” Alex asked.
Jamie yawned and shifted closer still, close enough to feel that the man had a hard-on. “Yeah. I don’t see them as much anymore since they live so far away. So it was good to get out there. Missed you though.”
Alex pressed a kiss to Jamie’s forehead. “So did I. I’m glad you’re back.”
“Me, too,” Jamie said, his voice slurring from sleepiness. “I belong here…”
Alex’s sentiments exactly, which he was about to say until the soft rumble of Jamie’s breathing revealed that he’d fallen asleep. But he didn’t mind. He didn’t mind at all. Because he had the man he loved in his bed, in his arms, and in his home.
It was more than he’d thought he’d find. With anyone.
As the morning spilled gray light into the bedroom, Jamie realized two things. That he was still laying in the same position in which he’d fallen asleep—they both were. And that Alex’s cock was erect against Jamie’s thigh.
Which had Jamie immediately hard, his own cock tight against Alex’s hip.
He peered up at the man and found him still asleep. He was torn between waking him up in some sexy way and respecting Alex’s wishes that they couldn’t have sex. But did that mean they couldn’t do anything?
Jamie determined to test out the idea that they were just regular guys outside the club. Because a regular guy like, say, him would be all over that cock.
Moving slowly, he eased his boxers down his thighs until he could push them off with his feet. He shifted positions to bring his body over Alex’s and then he settled his weight on the other man so that their cocks were aligned. Grinding their cocks together nearly made Jamie moan.
“Aw, fuck,” Alex said in a sleep-roughened voice. “That feels so good. You grinding on me is a stellar way to wake up.”
Jamie smiled. “Couldn’t help it. We were both hard and I couldn’t keep my hands off you.”
“Is that right?” Alex asked.
Nailing the other man with a stare, Jamie reached between them and pushed Alex’s boxers down, too. Now their cocks rubbed skin to skin. “I missed feeling you. This big cock.”
“Yeah,” Alex rasped. He pulled Jamie down for a kiss. Soft and sweet at first,
it quickly turned hot and aggressive. Their tongues plundered, their teeth nipped, their hands grasped tightly. And Jamie thrust their cocks together again and again.
“You look good underneath me, Alex,” he said.
“Fuck, Jamie, get both of us off. Just like this.”
On a groan, Jamie grasped onto Alex’s shoulders, giving himself leverage to hump and grind and ride the man beneath him, the man he loved.
“Want my bed to smell like you,” Alex said, his hands first grabbing at Jamie’s shoulders, then his back, then his ass. “Like us.”
Damn it all to hell, but Jamie wasn’t going to last long. Not with the way Alex felt and the things he was saying. Jamie hunched his whole body around Alex so that they connected from knees to noses.
One stray errant thought did Jamie in—imagining that he was penetrating Alex instead of just dry humping him.
Jamie’s orgasm hit him like a ton of bricks. “Gonna come, gonna come.”
“Oh, yeah, babe. Oh yeah.” The man’s voice was strained and desperate.
His whole body contracting with the orgasm, Jamie moaned as his cock emptied a tremendous load over Alex’s cock and belly.
“That’s it,” Alex bit out, his head writhing against the pillow. “I’m right behind you.”
Jamie thrust harder, faster. Alex groaned. And then he was coming and cursing, their semen a sexy pool on Alex’s flat belly.
“Jesus,” Alex said, releasing a harsh breath. “Good morning.”
Still laying atop him, Jamie grinned. “Good morning. And Happy New Year’s Eve.”
“Mmm, it’s looking to be a good one, too. Every day should start this way.” Alex waggled his brows.
Jamie nodded. “That might be able to be arranged.” In fact, Jamie would be only too happy to share this man’s bed.
Alex leaned up and kissed Jamie, thoroughly and lingeringly. “What do you say about some breakfast? There’s a great diner with the best steak and eggs just a few blocks away.”
“I’m fucking starved, so count me in.” He really hadn’t eaten dinner the night before, not unless the flight’s peanuts and shortbread cookies counted.
