by Jayne Blue
“You know Catman will never go for it. He likes the way things run now. Everyone in this town is scared to death of him. He thrives off that fear. And it lines his pockets. I’m ashamed to admit it, but it lines ours too.”
“And that’s something you think you can live with for the rest of your life?”
Kellan turned back toward the water. After another pause, he put his head down and shook it. “No. No, I can’t. But Cat’s not going to give up the head of the table without a fight. And he’s not the only one who thinks like he does. Tommy, Sully, Lonnie. They’re loyal.”
Bitter bile rose in my throat. I wished to hell Kellan was wrong, but I knew he wasn’t. There was no way I could bring the Lincolnshire Great Wolves out of the shit they were in without a bloody civil war. The cost of that might be too high. It would leave Lincolnshire ripe for a takeover by another club with even more dangerous ties than the Wolves. The Devil’s Hawks would move in, or the Red Brigands.
“It can’t be hopeless,” I finally said. “There has to be a way. Just give me some time to find it.”
Kellan nodded. “I could probably get shot in the back for saying this. But, Colt, I’m with you. I swear to God. If you can find a way to make Catman and the others see the light, I’m with you all the way. Whatever it takes. You know that, right? Before the Wolves, it was you and me. I haven’t forgotten that and I never will.”
My heart turned in my chest. I put a hand down and clasped Kellan’s fist in my own, drawing him close. He hugged me tight and slapped me on the back.
“You’ve survived a hell of a lot worse,” I said. “I should have been there for you back then, and I’m sorry. No matter what, I’ll do everything I can to turn this town and this club back into something we can be proud of. You have my word on that.”
Kellan nodded. I didn’t need to say anymore. We turned back to the water and stood shoulder to shoulder. Now the silence between us felt good. It felt right. And, for the first time since I’d rode back into town, it felt like the right decision, like I was meant to be here.
But there was one more thing I had to settle, and that was Amy. She hated the Great Wolves for a reason, and I was hoping Kellan knew why.
“Kel,” I finally said. “There’s something else I gotta talk to you about. There’s this girl.”
He laughed low before I could finish. Oh yeah. He knew me better than my brother in a lot of ways. But before I could start in, my phone vibrated in my breast pocket. My heart tripped when I pulled it out and saw the caller I.D.
Amy.
Chapter Thirteen
I put the phone to my ear and held up a finger to Kellan. He saw the look on my face and knew something was up. I walked away from him for some privacy.
“Hey,” I said.
She was silent on the other end of the phone for a moment. “What do you want from me?” she said, her tone flat.
I swallowed hard. What could I say to keep from spooking her? “No one sent me. I swear to God. I don’t know what happened to you. But I’m not in this to hurt you.”
More silence. I tried again.
“God, I can’t stop thinking about you. I want to see you again. I need to see you again. Your terms. Anyplace. Anytime. You set the rules.”
I heard her sharp intake of breath. “I want to believe you. I’ve gone over it in my head a thousand times. I have a million reasons not to trust you.”
“Baby, I haven’t done anything wrong. You just met me. You’ve got some beef with the M.C. I get that. If you tell me what it is, maybe I can help.”
She made a choked sound and I worried that I’d said the wrong thing. Dammit, I didn’t want to lose this girl again. But at that moment I knew I would make her see me again. Whatever it took.
“Come to my place,” she said, and I held my breath, afraid that I’d misheard her. “7912 Drummond.”
This seemed like a huge act of trust on her part, and I recognized it for that. “You sure?”
Her laughter was bitter and stabbed through my heart. “The club already knows exactly where I live, Colt.”
I gripped the phone so hard it was a wonder I didn’t crush it into dust. The idea that either she or someone she cared about had been hurt by one of Catman’s crew had me seething. I needed to know the truth. I just hoped that it wouldn’t drive me to do something I couldn’t take back.
“One hour,” I said. “I’ll be there.”
She took another breath and said, “Okay,” and clicked off before I could ask her anything else.
Kellan came up behind me. “Everything okay?”
I nodded. I thought about telling him about Amy and me but decided whatever was going on, I wanted to hear her side of it first. And there was another reason, one that sent a chill of ice through my veins. I trusted Kellan, but if somebody from the club was out to hurt Amy, I didn’t want to risk unwittingly tipping the wrong person off. “Gotta go see about a girl,” I said. “You don’t mind?”
He laughed. “I figured. Same one you tore off to go see the other night? You didn’t come home ’til the next morning, so I figured it ended well.”
I slapped him on the back. “That remains to be seen.”
“You crashing at her place again tonight?”
“Why, you planning on waiting up?”
Kellan put his hands up in mock surrender. “None of my business, man. You do what you gotta do. Just maybe we better get a signal in case you start bringing her home. Towel on the door, maybe?”
I slugged him in the arm as we mounted up.
“Hey,” he shouted over the roar of our engines. “I’m serious about what I said.”
I nodded. I put my fist over my heart and thumped it. Kellan gave me a solemn nod as I rode away.
***
It was almost full dark by the time I got to Amy’s. Early November and the days were already growing so short. She lived in one of the last stable neighborhoods in town. When I was a kid, I never dreamed I’d know anybody who lived in Old Orchard. Doctors, professors lived here. Not my crowd. I felt a strange sense of pride in Amy for staking her claim here. She was a strong woman. She helped kids who most people turned away from. She stood on her own two feet. The idea that anyone or anything associated with the patch I wore could threaten that made even more ice run through my veins.
I walked up the concrete steps of her porch and raised my hand to knock. The door swung open, and Amy stood before me looking stunning in nothing but a pink tank top and checkered flannel pants. It made me smile. She tried to dress down, but she couldn’t realize how it made her even sexier somehow. I liked her this way. Natural.
She hesitated then opened the screen door and let me in. Her place was simple. Black leather furniture. Hardwood floors. Just a few pictures on the walls. She led me through her kitchen. It had green tile floors and black granite countertops. We went out to a screened-in porch at the back of her house. She had a deep yard with large maple trees scattering red and orange leaves over the ground.
“Do you want a beer or something?” She sat on a beige rattan couch that my mom would have called a Davenport. I took the matching chair opposite her. I crossed my ankle at the knee and sat back.
“Maybe later,” I said. “I think right now I just want to talk.”
She nodded. God, she was sexy as hell and totally unaware of it. Her face was clean and shiny, not a trace of makeup. She had her blonde hair pulled back and piled on her head. I had the urge to reach over and shake it out. An image flashed from the other night. She’d worn it in a ponytail then, and I’d pulled it gently as I slid my dick into her hot, wet pussy. It was going to be torture sitting this close to her and not touching her. But she needed her space. That was obvious.
I shook my head, trying to clear it from those kinds of thoughts. It was damn near impossible, though, being this close to her.
“I couldn’t stop thinking about you either,” she finally said. Her cheeks colored a little, and I fucking knew she was thinking something s
imilar to what I had just been.
“Do you believe what I told you?” I said. “You accused me of being sent by someone from the club. That’s not true, Amy. I said before I swear to God. I didn’t know you until I met you in the hospital. That’s the absolute truth.”
She nodded. “I shouldn’t. I might be the biggest fool on the planet, but I think I believe you. A friend of mine pointed out the obvious flaw in my logic. His biggest beef has always been jealousy. Sending you in to do . . . well . . . that . . . just wouldn't make sense.”
There was a silence between us for a moment. Amy stared off at some hidden point above my head. Then her eyes flashed to mine and I knew she was thinking of the same horror that scared her the other night when her gaze settled on my tattoo. For the zillionth time, I had the urge to reach out and strangle whatever demon tormented her.
“Who hurt you?” I finally said. “Who’s got a beef with you?” I struggled to keep my voice neutral, but the menace behind my words seemed clear to her.
She looked up and locked her eyes with mine. There was a steely strength behind them. They were the eyes of someone who’d survived something and come out stronger for it.
“No one who wears that patch has ever believed a word of my story.”
I flinched like she’d reached across the room and gut punched me. I answered the only way I could. “I will.”
She nodded and drew her legs up, resting her knees on her chin. It was a defensive posture and tore at my heart. I wanted to draw her close to me but knew it wasn’t the right time. Telling this story would take a different kind of bravery.
“You don’t know who I am, do you?” she said. “I didn’t remember you either. So when you said you were from Lincolnshire originally, it kind of threw me. I mean, you look familiar, so maybe I saw you a long time ago. Maybe when you first started coming around the club.”
“Maybe,” I answered. “It’s been a long time since I left Lincolnshire for good. Fifteen years. I was only eighteen then.”
She nodded. “I was only thirteen when you left then. And Dad stopped bringing me around the clubhouse right around that time. My mom took him to court and threatened to take away his visitation if he brought me around anymore.”
“Who was your dad, Amy?”
She smiled. “You really haven’t put all of this together. I’m Amy Wyler. Until just now, I didn’t realize we never told each other our last names.”
Wyler. Amy Wyler. Duke Wyler. He’d been V.P. of the club when I left. Holy shit. I did have a vague memory of Duke bringing a scrawny little kid with pigtails and scraped knees to the club once in a while. He let her sit in the big chair in the back room once or twice.
“Mouse?” I said as the nickname sprang up in my memory. “That’s what he called you. That’s what everybody called you.”
She smiled and wiped a tear away. “I always hated that. Meek as a mouse. And I couldn’t ever shake it. Then it was Cat and Mouse. Like we were a foregone conclusion. Like I never had any choice in the matter.”
Her words slammed into my chest like machine gun fire. Cat and Mouse. Catman.
“You and Catman,” I said past a dry throat. Was she Catman’s girl? Had he been the one who hurt her?
She locked eyes with me again and slowly nodded. “So tell me again, Colt. Tell me the truth. Everything you said to me the other night . . . everything we did together. Was it real? You did it because you wanted to be with me?”
I crossed the distance between us and went to my knees in front of her. I put my hands on her waist and held her gaze. “I swear it, Amy. On my life. Everything that happened between us was real. It happened because I wanted it to, and so did you. And I want it again. Tonight. Now. I can’t get you out of my head.”
She tilted her head. Her lips lifted in a pained smile, and she shut her eyes tight. They were clouded with tears when she opened them again. Amy cradled my face with her hands and leaned down until we touched forehead to forehead.
“I’m in,” I said. “You get that? I’m falling for you.”
“Oh Colt,” she whispered. “Then you’re a dead man.”
Chapter Fourteen
Amy
As Colt held me, the words started to flood out of me. At a certain point, I had to tear myself away from him. His hands seemed to sear my skin. I wanted him. I wanted all of him. Over and over again like the other night. But he had to know. When I told him all of it, I knew he would leave forever. He’d have no choice. He was a Great Wolf. There was a code, and he’d violated it, no matter what kind of monster wore the president’s patch.
“He reminded me of my dad,” I said. “I think that’s what drew me to him at first. It wasn’t until much later that I realized the similarities were all superficial. But, at the time, I was just looking for some connection to what I’d lost. I was in deep grief after my father died. We’d just started getting to know each other again. My mom kept me away from him for a long time. It wasn’t until after she moved out to Alaska with her new husband when I was in my twenties that I decided to have him in my life again. We lost so much time. God, Colt. His death was hard. Cancer ate him from the inside out, and there was no one there to be with him but me. The club and me.”
“I understand,” he said.
“And it was good in the beginning. Being around Roy and the club felt easy and familiar. Like I’d get to keep part of Dad with me forever.”
Colt sat next to me on the couch. He kept a firm hand on my knee while I talked. He was bracing himself, I knew. The muscles of his jaw clenched, and he swallowed hard. A tiny vein throbbed in his temple.
“But then it went bad. Little things at first. Roy called me constantly. Wanted to know where I was, who I was talking to. He showed up at the school all the time. Once, my car wouldn’t start and one of the gym teachers, a sweet guy named Larry Barth, drove me home. Roy was waiting for me here. He flew into a rage. It got worse after that, little by little. He had me followed by Tommy and some of the other guys. He told them he thought I was cheating on him. They believed him.”
“He laid hands on you,” Colt’s face turned to stone. It was a question and a statement. My heart hammered in my chest.
I took another breath. “I finally couldn’t take it anymore. I was trying to focus on finishing my master’s degree in Special Education. He didn’t support that either. It threatened him. Everything threatened him. He thought I’d clear out of Lincolnshire once I finished. I thought about it. I had a few job offers. But I have roots here. Those kids at the middle school mean everything to me. So, finally, I told him I’d had enough. I thought maybe if I kind of cooled things with him slowly, I could make a clean getaway.”
“It came to a head after final exams midway through my program. I went out to celebrate with a bunch of people in my cohort. Roy showed up there, drunk off his ass. Called me all sorts of vile things in front of everyone. Said I was a lying whore. That I was trash. No one would do anything. The owner of the bar asked me to leave. He followed me outside, and I told him it was over for good. He left, and I was stupid enough to think he’d gotten the message. But he showed up later. Dragged me out of bed by my feet while I was sleeping.”
Sweat beaded my forehead. I needed something to drink. My hands shook as I headed back into the kitchen. Colt knelt still as stone where I left him except for a small shudder in his hands. He clenched them and unclenched them like he was trying to strangle something in them. I stood at the sink and ran the cold water. Colt finally came into the room as I splashed water on my face. He came up behind me and slid his hands around my waist, pulling me back against him.
I turned and went into his arms. He hooked a finger under my chin and brought it up so he could see my eyes. His eyes filled with unutterable tenderness but also pain.
“It’s okay,” he said. “If it’s too much for you.”
“No,” I said, more forcefully than I meant. “You have to hear it. It’s been so long since anyone wanted to. Even the cops. They
can’t do anything. I got a restraining order, but it’s not worth anything. Roy’s too well hooked up in this town. I don’t have to tell you that.”
I led Colt back into the front room. It was starting to get too cold out on the porch, even though sweat trickled down my back. I drew my knees up and sat on the leather couch. Colt sat next to me and leaned forward, resting his forearms on his knees. It reminded me a little of an airplane crash position. I suppose he would need to brace himself if I was going to get through all of this.
“I thought he was going to kill me that night. He threatened to. Said he’d never let anyone else come near me. And he hit me. You know, I’ve never been naive. I’m Duke Wyler’s daughter, for Christ’s sake. I’ve always known how to take care of myself. But when he raised his hand, I just kind of stood there like I was frozen, and it was happening in slow motion. If he’d have used his fist, I think he would have broken my jaw. He backhanded me. Knocked me to the ground. It went on and on after that.”
Colt closed his eyes. He rested his forehead on his fists as I told him the rest. It poured out of me. I’d never told every detail of that night to anyone. It almost felt like I was telling someone else’s story. But it was mine. How Roy dragged me down the hall by my hair. Kicked me. Hit me again. He never raped me, and I suppose there was some mercy in that. But he violated me just the same with each blow of his fist and the evil words he said. Colt listened. From time to time, he’d put a hand on my knee or swear softly. But he listened. He believed. And that was everything.
Then I told him the rest.
“That was two years ago. My neighbor called the cops because he heard the commotion. He moved out a few weeks after that because he was so scared of what might happen for doing that. They had to arrest him when they saw what I looked like. And the hospital had to give a report too. So I got a restraining order out of it but somehow Roy was never charged with anything. He sold them on some story that I started it. He had a small cut on his eye where I’d tried to scratch him. They called us mutual combatants. I got the restraining order and he turned around and had one put out on me.”
