When the Jackson parents finally figured out that James was abusing drugs, it was the end of their daughter's little romance, as far as they were concerned. However, Janet told them that she was in love with him and determined to marry him, despite – or perhaps even because of – their disapproval. She was aware that he had a drug problem, she said, but she thought she could handle it, and maybe even be of assistance. ‘You always think you can change people,’ she said in retrospect. ‘And I knew that he so badly wanted to change. He was trying, but he wasn't trying hard enough.’
They eloped on 7 September 1984, in Grand Rapids, DeBarge's hometown. Their wedding night was a disaster, as James recalled it: ‘I spoiled it completely. Janet had been shaking in her shoes at the wedding ceremony, and I thought the least I could do was to give her a night to remember. I booked the top suite of the Amway Plaza Hotel, which cost me a small fortune. But then I went out and got rotten drunk with some friends. I finally got back to the hotel at three a.m. and Janet was waiting for me, crying.’
The next day, Janet telephoned LaToya to tell her the news of her marriage. LaToya was then charged with breaking the startling news to Joseph and Katherine who, predictably, did not take it well. She also telephoned each brother, except Michael. They were all upset and angry, Jermaine in particular. ‘I know that he would have killed her if he could've gotten his hands on Janet,’ LaToya would remember.
The question, then, was how to tell Michael. Actually, no member of the family wanted to be the one to do it. It was as if they felt they would somehow be forever tainted in his eyes by being the person most remembered for having passed on such awful news. Michael had always felt protective of Janet; he used to say that she was his best friend in the family, ‘like a twin’. The news was sure to be upsetting, and the Victory tour was difficult enough for him without having to deal with such domestic turmoil. So, no one wanted to be ‘the one’. Finally, Quincy Jones's daughter, a friend of the family's, called Michael to tell him; she didn't have anything to lose. As expected, he was filled with anxiety by the news. ‘It killed me to see her go off and get married,’ Michael would say later. ‘I didn't know how to handle it.’
For a month, Janet and James lived at Hayvenhurst with Janet's family, much to James's dismay. ‘He wanted them to have their own place,’ explained his mother, Etterlene. ‘He felt that they needed to be alone to give themselves a chance to grow in their marriage. However, Janet didn't want to leave that house. She was still like a little girl, who never wanted to leave her bedroom.’
‘James DeBarge would come to the house completely out of his mind on drugs,’ Steve Howell remembered. ‘He would be so high on coke and alcohol that, on two occasions, the guards tried to stop him from going inside Hayvenhurst. “If you do, Mr Jackson will kill you,” they'd warn him, speaking of Joseph. However, he was belligerent and didn't care. The funny thing was that when he wasn't high, James was the nicest guy in the world. He was like Dr Jekyll and Mr DeBarge.’
‘You leave my husband alone!’ Janet was heard screaming at Joseph on several occasions.
‘He's not good for you, Janet,’ Joseph shot back. ‘And if you think you're going to ruin this family by staying married to this guy, you can forget it.’
Katherine tried to find a reasonable solution to the problem: she offered to enroll James in a rehabilitation programme. He refused to go.
In an interview, James DeBarge remembered the Encino estate as ‘The House of Fears’ and painted an eerie picture of Michael, who was at home for a short time in the middle of the tour schedule. ‘It was while I lived there that I came to realize what a sad, lonely figure he is,’ James said. ‘He was like a ghost, wandering around the place looking for friendship. He would come to our room late at night, tap softly on the door, and say, “Is it all right if I come in?” One time, Janet and I were making love, and he came right on in! He got into bed with us and poured his heart out. He said, “I envy you two, because you have each other and love each other. But, I haven't got anyone.” There was never a sign of a woman in his life, ever.’
‘He really was a very lonely man-child,’ James DeBarge recalled of his brother-in-law, Michael. ‘The only time he had any fun was when he had friends over to play in his two-million-dollar amusement arcade, but they had to let Michael win most of the time. If they didn't, they wouldn't be asked to come back.’
James has a litany of amazing memories about his life in the ‘House of Fears’. He recalls the day it rained and Michael danced naked around the pool. ‘His mother screamed from the house, “Put your clothes on, Michael. Your father will be home soon.” Fear of Joseph was what controlled them all,’ James said. (Of course, James was on drugs, so who knows how reliable his memory is of that time.)
After a few months, James and Janet moved into their own condominium at 12546 The Vista, in Brentwood. ‘They moved out of the house because Joseph was gonna kill James,’ recalled Steve Howell. ‘I'm serious.’
‘James had it out with Joseph a number of times,’ confirmed his mother, Etterlene. ‘They were enemies. They detested each other.’
Janet wanted nothing to do with her family as long as they could not accept her husband. Actually, Janet had begun distancing herself a couple of years earlier when she began working as an actress on the TV show Fame. ‘My parents were very strict while I was growing up,’ she once told me. ‘It was really our music and our work. We missed out on our childhood, getting to know what really goes on out there. It was bad, because once you step out there for the first time, it stuns you. I saw a lot of things I'd never seen before.’
In a short time, Janet was miserable in her new marriage. She had wanted her independence, and she got it, but at what cost? Now, she found herself staying up nights worrying about James, who was rarely at home.
According to Jerome Howard, Joseph and Katherine's former business manager, ‘Janet would get phone calls in the middle of the night from James's friends telling her where he was, which was usually out in the ghetto, about twenty-five miles from Encino, buying or doing drugs. Janet, who'd never been there in her lifetime, would get up and drive out to the ghetto to find him. In time, she got to know the ghetto better than any other Jackson. She loved him and would do anything for him.’
With the entire Jackson family opposed to the marriage, each member took turns trying to persuade Janet to end it with James. The problems the newlyweds were having in their marriage, especially the drugs, went against everything Michael stood for personally and spiritually. Besides, he could see what the marriage had done to his sister emotionally. At one point she collapsed and had to be rushed to a hospital. She was exhausted, physically and emotionally. Michael was the only person to whom she would now listen. He begged her to leave James, crying on the phone with her from different stops along the Victory tour. Janet was finally convinced.
‘God, I felt like my whole life was falling down, and I could see him [James] going down, but there was nothing I could do,’ Janet said. ‘And he said to me, “Well, you haven't tried to help me,” but I thought, What about helping yourself? I thought, Well, I can either go down with him and that's the end of my life, or I can let go and continue on, alone.’
Janet left James on 7 January 1985, and immediately filed for a petition to nullify her marriage and restore her former name, Janet Dameta Jackson. On the petition, she listed her total gross monthly income as just $3000 – a minuscule amount considering the millions she would earn later. She said the amount of her husband's income was ‘unknown’ to her. When she got home from the courthouse, she called her friend René Elizondo and said, ‘God, I can't believe what I've just done.’
(The annulment was finally granted on 18 November 1985. By then, Janet was back at Hayvenhurst.)
James claims that Janet terminated a pregnancy while he was married to her. ‘I don't think she told many family members,’ he said, ‘but, her mother knew. I wouldn't have minded a child, but it had to be Janet's decision. I think her c
areer, her plans, her family had a lot to do with it. We went to a clinic in Los Angeles but we had to go in and out the back door because we were so well known. It was real scary. Afterward, I took her home and held her in my arms and told her everything would be okay.’
For years, Janet has dealt with the rumour that she actually did have the baby she was carrying at the time, and that this child is secretly being raised in Europe. Janet denies it. Of course, she spent almost ten years denying that she was married to René Elizondo when, the entire time, she actually was. It was only when he filed for divorce that the truth came out… would it surprise anyone, then, if Janet Jackson one day reveals that she and James de Barge had a child so many years ago, and that rather than having an abortion she thought it better if he or she was raised away from the limelight?
‘Michael is not gay’
It was difficult to imagine Michael Jackson viewing romantic relationships in a positive light when he was surrounded by such poor examples. His parents' marriage had rarely been happy. Marlon's marriage to Carol had been troubled, though they had reconciled. It was difficult to know what was going on with Jermaine's relationship, but Hazel seemed domineering to most observers. Jackie's marriage was also in trouble at this time, because he had cheated on Enid. The two would end up divorcing, and the final decree would not occur until August 1987, after they had put each other through as much misery – and litigation – as possible. Luckily, Tito seemed to be faring well with Dee Dee. Still, Michael had learned early on to be cautious before committing himself to any relationship that could become serious. Therefore, he stayed alone – except for the occasional youth, such as Emmanuel Lewis and, in 1984, a ten-year-old kid named Jonathan Spence who had become a constant companion. The two were seen nuzzling and hugging throughout the fall of 1984.
Along with Michael's huge success came a resurgence of rumours about his sexuality. Michael had always been extremely sensitive about the issues of sexuality, and nothing annoyed him more than the fact that it kept coming up every few years. Yet, by September 1984, the question remained: was Michael gay?
However, being a twenty-six-year-old virgin teen idol devoted to a sexually repressive religion is not easy, especially when show business dictates that a male celebrity be ‘romantically involved’ – to use Michael Jackson's words – with a woman, thus the existence of Tatum O'Neal and Brooke Shields in his life. But the public could see through those charades, and tongues continued to wag.
One rumour had it that, when Michael was younger, Joseph had ordered him to be injected with female hormones to ensure that his voice would not change with maturity. He wanted it to remain high-pitched and, thus, commercial. ‘Not true,’ said Michael's vocal coach, Seth Riggs. ‘He started out with a high voice, and I've taken it even higher. It's ridiculous. I don't even know if it's possible to do that.’
During one break in a vocal lesson, according to Seth, he said to Michael, ‘You know, everybody thinks you're gay.’
Michael nodded his head and told Riggs this story: a tall good-looking blond approached him one day and said, ‘Michael, I think you're wonderful. I sure would like to go to bed with you.’
Michael glared at him. ‘When's the last time you read the Bible?’ he asked.
The blond said nothing.
‘You know, you really should read it, because there is some real information in there about homosexuality.’
‘Sure, I guess if I was a girl, it would be different story,’ said the fellow. ‘Then you'd have sex with me.’
‘No, I wouldn't,’ Michael told him. ‘There are some very direct words on that in the Bible too.’
Still, there were some odd reports about Michael. For instance, reporter Denise Worrell was writing a story about him for Time and had tried to arrange an interview with him, but to no avail. Instead, she interviewed his parents. Unbeknownst to Michael, Joseph decided to give the reporter a tour of the house. He knocked on Michael's bedroom door. There was no answer. ‘Michael I have someone I want you to meet,’ Joseph said. He opened the door. ‘Can I bring her into your room?’
Denise reported that Michael was inside with a male friend, about twenty years old, watching television. The glow from the set was the only light in the room. She noticed the outline of Michael's mannequins against a wall.
Michael was startled by the presence of his father and his guest. He nervously introduced Joseph to his friend, using just a first name. Michael then shook hands with the journalist who reported that his handshake ‘felt like a cloud’. He ‘barely said hello’. Michael's friend then nervously extended his hand; she reported that it was ‘damp’. Michael stared at the writer for a moment and then began watching television, again.
As Joseph and Denise backed out of the room, Joseph had the look of a man who'd just opened Pandora's box. ‘Michael has a friend over,’ Joseph explained. ‘He isn't about to give any interviews. You got pretty close, though,’ he added, with a nervous chuckle.
After Denise left the house, a security guard came running after her. Joseph and Katherine wanted to speak to her again. Joseph must have told his wife what had occurred in the bedroom.
‘We were hoping you'd set the record straight and put a stop to the rumours,’ Katherine said as soon as she saw Denise. ‘They say Michael is gay. Michael is not gay. It's against his religion. It's against God. The Bible speaks against it.’
‘Michael is not gay,’ repeated Joseph, emphatically.
Perhaps Michael is not gay, but he was curious about the lifestyle just the same. One friend remembered the day he and Michael went into a gay bar on Santa Monica Boulevard in West Hollywood. ‘Michael was recording at Larrabe studios, which is across the street from a bar in a predominantly gay section of Hollywood,’ the friend recalled. ‘I said to him, “Hey, man, let's go get a drink at that bar.” He told me he didn't drink, but perhaps he could get an orange juice. “You know, it's a gay bar,” I warned him. “Really? I've never been to a gay bar,” he said. “What goes on there?” he asked. I told him he should go and see for himself. He hesitated. “Well, I've always wanted to. Okay, let's do it.” So, in we went.
‘“Why is it so dark in here?” Michael wanted to know. I had the impression he had never been in any bar, let alone a gay one. There were a few guys in there, but it was early, so there weren't many. Michael took a deep breath and went up to the bartender and ordered an orange juice. The bartender said, “Hey, aren't you Michael Jackson?” He said, “Nope. But I'm told I look like him.” He turned to me and winked.
‘He and I sat in a corner and watched all the guys. He was recognized by a few, but they left him alone. Not one person came up to him.
‘“Is this all they do here?” Michael asked me. “They just drink and talk and watch videos?” I wondered what he thought people did in bars. As we were sitting there, two men walked in and immediately began kissing each other. When Michael saw them making out, I could feel him tense up. Finally he said, “Okay, I've seen enough. Let's leave.” So we got up and walked out. On the way out, Michael said, “I can't believe those two guys kissed one another. How can they do that?”
‘“Maybe they liked each other,” I told him.
‘“Well, if that's what they do in gay bars, then I don't think I'll be going to any more,” Michael decided.’
This same friend remembered the day he and Michael went into Drakes, a novelty store on Melrose Avenue in Hollywood that specializes in sex toys and pornography. In the back of the shop, behind a gated area, a browser could find gay reading material and photo magazines.
‘Hey, what's back there?’ Michael wanted to know as soon as he walked in.
‘You don't want to know,’ said his friend.
‘Yeah, I do want to know,’ Michael insisted. He then proceeded to go boldly where probably no Jackson had ever gone before.
Thirty seconds later, he came running back. He looked shaken, as if he had just seen a ghost. ‘We gotta go, now,’ he said nervously.
‘Why?’
‘You don't want to know,’ Michael answered.
The more enigmatic Michael remained, the more people would talk, and even joke, about him. His videographer, Steve Howell, once asked him about a comedy sketch Eddie Murphy had performed on Saturday Night Live in which he played an effeminate and affected Michael as a guest on a fictional talk show, Guy Talk, along with an equally fey Liberace played by another actor. The two bragged about their sexual exploits with women; it was ludicrous and extremely funny.
Michael had smiled. ‘I don't mind it,’ he said softly. ‘The more they make fun of me, the more people are going to wonder what I really am. I don't care when people call me a fag. No one knows the truth. No one knows who, or what I am.’
‘You don't care what people say about you?’
‘They can say what they want to say, because the bottom line is they don't know and everyone is going to continue searching to find out whether I'm gay, straight or whatever,’ Michael explained. ‘It doesn't bother me, and the longer it takes them to discover this, the more famous I will be.’
Perhaps that's how Michael sometimes felt, but he was also a man who told Rolling Stone writer Gerri Hirshey that he lives his life with obsessive caution, ‘just like a haemophiliac who can't afford to be scratched in any way.’
In August 1984, a tabloid alleged that Michael was having an affair with British pop star Boy George, an allegation which was not true. Michael was livid. His publicist, Norman Winter, recalled, ‘Michael was angry that there were these stories about him being gay, that little kids who could barely read were hearing about these rumours, maybe from their mothers who buy the tabloids and talk to others about them. Who knows? The point is that he felt that he was getting a reputation he didn't want. He told me that he wanted to organize a press conference to refute the stories. I told him I thought it might not be a good idea. ‘Why give them any credibility? Maybe they'll just blow over,’ he said. ‘No, they just keep getting worse. I have to do something now.’
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