Line of Duty
Sidney Bristol
Good Guys Wear Black, Book 2.
SWAT officer Jake Vant is suitin
g up with a new arsenal that equips him to wage sensual war on his wife. Vibrating toys, erotic lingerie—they’re all in his bag of pleasure. She might be ready to call it quits, but he’s not taking no for an answer, unless she’s moaning it.
Nicole Vant wants to put heartbreak behind her, and that means giving up on her marriage. Except Jake meets her at every turn, seducing her the way he once made her fall in love with him. On the kitchen counter, in their bed and even a parking lot, he reawakens her heart and her body.
But it’s not Jake leaving all the presents for her. He has enemies, and they’ve come calling.
Inside Scoop: Contains an alpha hero who doesn’t let closed doors bar his way and a woman who knows how to handle her man. Also depicts criminal activity, a couple overcoming loss and the strong arm of the law.
A Romantica® erotic romantic suspense from Ellora’s Cave
Line of Duty
Sidney Bristol
Chapter One
Nicole studied the black-and-white photographs arranged in the Westlings’ living room. Something about the way the camera captured the smiling couple at the altar, cutting a cake and kicking it up on a dance floor put her teeth on edge. Nicole’s wedding photos were sedate by comparison. All the poses staged, not a hair out of place. She’d thought they were perfect.
That was before she’d met Tanya and Cole Westling. Cole was her husband Jake’s sergeant in the Metro City SWAT division.
Despite the late-night calls and stress of their job, Tanya and Cole batted their eyelashes at each other every time Nicole saw them. The Westlings were so sickeningly sweet Nicole thought she might have a cavity from being around them.
Was it possible to not like someone for being so damn perfect?
The sentiment turned her stomach. Once, Jake had treated her the way Cole drooled over his wife, but not anymore. Her country boy turned city cop husband barely looked at her these days. Nicole could mark the day and even the hour their marriage had changed, but no matter how many times she tried to change, nothing stuck. How many times had she tried for a new start? To turn things around? Unfortunately, it wasn’t up to just her. Jake was a big part of things, and he wasn’t helping.
Perhaps that was where her problems lay. Jake quite simply didn’t seem to care anymore, and it killed her. Their love had burned so brightly. There was a big, gaping hole where it had once resided in her chest. She was empty inside.
The sliding glass door opened off to her right and for a moment the sounds of laughing children stabbed her in the heart.
“Nicole, I didn’t know you were in here.”
Amazing. Something Tanya Westling didn’t know.
God I’m being a bitch. I’d like off this ride now, please.
Nicole turned toward her host and did her best to smile, but even she knew it was a weak attempt. “Sorry, hope you don’t mind.”
“Not at all.” Tanya was an athletic, girl-next-door kind of beauty, with her hair up in a ponytail and wearing a t-shirt and jeans cuffed at the ankle with flip-flops. Unlike Nicole, she didn’t need a smidge of makeup. Tanya was also one of the kindest people Nicole had ever met.
Which meant Tanya was the only person Nicole could ask for help.
“Something I can help you with?” Tanya asked. She came to a stop, glancing at the pictures, and her mouth curled into a fond smile.
Excuse me while I hurl.
Of course Tanya would give her the perfect opening. It only made Nicole feel even more wretched. How much could she screw up in life? A lot, it would seem. She couldn’t even pull off being a wife and mother.
Even thinking the words hurt.
Suck it up, princess.
“Do you mean it, when you say that?” Nicole asked out of gross curiosity. She winced as soon as the words were out of her mouth. It was as if she’d been turned into a freight train with no breaks.
“Excuse me?” Tanya blinked her pretty green eyes at Nicole.
“When you ask, ‘Something I can help you with?’ do you mean it?”
“Um, yes?” Tanya shoved her hands into her pockets, brows lifting. She had to think Nicole was crazy, but then again, Nicole felt out of control.
Nicole shrugged, and her mouth kept moving while her brain screamed for her to stop. “It just seems that when people ask, ‘How are you doing?’ they don’t really care, so I never know if someone really wants to know or is just making themselves feel better.”
Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
Tanya nodded as if what Nicole said wasn’t straight-up crazy talk. “Oh I know. I made the mistake of telling a client last year all about my horrible morning with a tire blowing out, breaking a nail and totally destroying a new pair of satin heels in the process. I got to the end of it and he just stared at me. I felt so stupid.”
Nicole found herself laughing. Of course Tanya would take her insane chatter seriously. She was so damn nice all the time. Would it hurt the world if Tanya had really bad PMS at least once and snapped someone’s head off? But then she wouldn’t be Tanya, at least not the Tanya Nicole knew.
Tanya chuckled politely. Poor woman probably had no idea the kind of roller-coaster ride Nicole was on. She was ready to get off. Whatever it took.
“But seriously,” Tanya asked after a moment, “are you okay? You look a little flushed.”
Nicole pressed a hand against her forehead. Her skin was so fair she sometimes wondered if she burned going from the house to the car. “I think I’m fine. Probably just the heat and damn ginger genes screwing with me.”
“There’s some sunscreen outside if you want me to get you some.” Tanya thumbed over her shoulder where three grills were set up and a small army of SWAT officers, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends and children mingled and played. There’d been a steady stream of people cooking food all afternoon. The men could eat a whole cow apiece sometimes.
“Thanks, but I brought some.” She gathered her strength around her and let go of her dignity. Everyone needed help sometimes. “I was wanting to ask you about something else.” Somehow Nicole got that sentence out without punching herself in the eye.
“Sure. What’s up?” Tanya’s posture changed, her hands came out of her pockets and she seemed more relaxed.
Too bad Nicole was about to drop a bomb on the conversation.
“How do you and Cole stay in love?” Because dear Lord she needed the key to that secret. She wasn’t even positive anymore if she loved her husband. It was an age since she’d felt anything at all. Used to, when he was tired and his twang was thickest, he’d just say her name and her heart fluttered out of her chest. Now it was a trial of patience to just be in the same room with him.
Tanya blinked slowly, her face going blank. Yup, shock and surprise. “Well, uh…”
“I know it’s a personal question, we aren’t close or anything, but I need some help. A tip. Or something.” Nicole shifted from foot to foot, trying to ease the cramps. Why had she worn the fancy wedges? They were killing her toes. Oh right, she thought maybe Jake would notice. Might look at her how Cole mooned over Tanya all the time.
“No, it’s okay. I just don’t know what to say.” Tanya shrugged and smiled sheepishly. “Cole and I have had our problems, but I think what we’ve learned—and are still learning—is good communication. Talking to each other helps.” She sounded so sincere and earnest.
Yawn.
Nicole nodded appropriately, as if all the magazines and self-help books didn’t spout a good talking-to as one of their top five ways to keep the heat in the bedroom, the love fresh or the relationship well oiled. Talking she could do. The problem
was getting Jake to listen. Conversation? That required someone participating and Jake hadn’t participated in a long time. No matter what she did. Not since, well, she couldn’t even think it. Not without losing her cool, and Tanya already thought she was crazy. Couldn’t blame the poor woman. Nicole felt off balance. Completely out of control. Some days she didn’t even like herself.
What Nicole needed was a solo act. Something she could do to make things better.
“For what it’s worth, Cole and I have our rough patches too. A few months ago, right around the Olympics, we weren’t doing so well.” Tanya glanced away, her hands clasped in front of her.
Oh Lordy, Ms. Perfect has hard times too? Praise Jesus!
“Yeah? What did you do?” Nicole asked absently. It was hard to see Tanya and Cole having the same issues Nicole and Jake were having. But she was growing to like the woman, despite her impossibly perfect life. It wasn’t as if Tanya were snobbish about her lot. Some people were just luckier than others.
“Honestly?” Tanya’s face scrunched up.
Was she going to share the keys to the kingdom?
“I went to an adult novelty store called Honey and bought some—things—and I think that really helped open the door.” A slight blush rose on her cheeks, staining them an adorable pink.
“What, the toys?” Been there. Done that. There was a whole drawer of them with dead batteries going to waste now. Toys had been a regular part of their sex life before a year ago. There wasn’t a kind that had intimidated Jake or her.
“No, I mean the intimacy of having sex.”
Nicole rolled that thought around for a moment. The Westlings hadn’t been getting it on like rabbits in spring? Color her surprised.
I’m a total bitch, and she doesn’t deserve my attitude.
No, she should reserve that for Jake and his antiquated way of dealing with problems. Simply not talking about them. Was it some kind of holdover from his country roots?
Tanya leaned against the wall and traced Cole’s face in a picture of them slow dancing at their wedding reception. “We were kind of just coexisting. I’d traveled and been away for so long that we didn’t really know each other anymore and didn’t take time to reconnect after I quit my old job. We were on totally opposite brain waves. Sex and talking to each other helped a lot. It broke down the walls. Can I ask why you want to know?”
Nicole studied Tanya for a moment. She didn’t think a little horizontal bopping was going to put the pieces of her marriage back together. Jake had checked out, which was clear by how little attention he paid to anything that wasn’t work related. She’d tried for months to get him to dial back in but he wasn’t listening. And Nicole could only hold the pieces of their life together for so long. If Jake didn’t at least respond to her soon, she would walk.
If she walked, someone should at least know why.
To her knowledge, Cole and Tanya hadn’t discussed what happened outside of their house. The officers’ wives were horrible gossips, and not all of them were as kind as Tanya. There were several who would have gone to great lengths to ensure everyone knew, and Nicole couldn’t handle that. But Tanya wouldn’t tell. She wasn’t like the others.
“I had a miscarriage a year ago. I think a lot more died with Willow, our baby girl. I think it killed us.” Nicole tipped her chin up and stared into the light overhead to stop the tears. A year hadn’t eased her pain. The fog of depression had abated, but the numbness still gripped her to the core. “I lie. We didn’t actually know the sex of the baby, but this batshit crazy counselor I talked to said it might help if I gave the baby a name, it might make putting her to rest easier. I think it made it harder because now I can’t think of the baby in any other way except—Willow.” She was babbling. What was wrong with her? She’d gotten so good at keeping her mouth shut and now…it was all out there.
“Oh—oh my gosh, I-I didn’t know. I-I’m so sorry.” Tanya spoke in a rush, her eyes round.
The apologies. Nicole could go the rest of her life without hearing someone apologize to her for her lack of ability to carry her own child. She knew that wasn’t what people meant to say to her face, but every time it drove the knife a little deeper into her heart. She’d wanted so badly to be a mother. Willow hadn’t even had a chance.
An invisible fist gripped her heart. Each beat ached. She couldn’t stay here, not when she felt so alone without Jake or their baby. Not that she wanted to go home, but at least there she didn’t have to pretend to enjoy herself.
“I think I should leave,” Nicole said around the lump in her throat. She’d never fit in well with the other cop wives, which was a shame because she envied so many of them, with their brood of children and diaper purses.
“Do you want me to go get Jake?” Tanya offered.
“He rode his motorcycle here. He’ll figure it out eventually.” Nicole hefted her tiny clutch under her arm and looked her host in the eye. “Sorry. About this. I haven’t been myself lately.”
“It’s okay. Do you have my number? If you need anything, just give me a call.”
All the wives had each other’s phone numbers, not that Nicole ever used them. It was more for emergency purposes. After the business during the Olympics with Tanya, Nicole hoped she would never need to use the numbers. If none of the men were ever injured again, it would be fine by her.
Nicole didn’t doubt Tanya was serious about her offer, and knowing just how genuine and good she was, it made Nicole feel even more wretched. She made a hurried farewell to her hostess and left out the front door, dropping large sunglasses over her eyes to hide the running mascara.
The neighborhood was quiet compared to the Westlings’ backyard. Serene even, with trees lining the street, all the lawns perfectly manicured.
Her cherry-red convertible gleamed in the afternoon light across the street. Nicole slipped her feet out of the wedges and walked barefoot down the sidewalk and across the street. A little of the strain eased from her shoulders.
“Let’s go home, baby,” she whispered to the car as she dropped into the driver’s seat and revved the engine. Home, where her heart broke just a little more each and every day.
* * * * *
Jake rolled down the street, the motorcycle’s engine chugging along, evening breeze in his hair, the scent of fresh-cut grass in the air. It reminded him of the fields back home. It always smelled the best around the time to cut hay. The picture-perfect subdivision sprawled around him, families tucking in for the night. The sun had long since set, but streetlights provided enough illumination that nothing was ever truly dark here.
He passed a father picking up discarded bikes in the drive and quickly glanced away.
It was another reminder he didn’t need. Every day he looked in the mirror and saw the orchestrator of his greatest failure staring him in the face. And he had no idea how to fix it. All the duct tape and WD-40 in the world couldn’t bring his little girl back to him or rebuild what he’d lost with his wife.
He hadn’t been surprised when Nicole left the barbecue early. She hadn’t been much for socializing or people, including him as of late, and he couldn’t blame her. There were walls a mile thick between them now a demolition crew couldn’t bring down.
The pink brick house they’d bought almost two years ago in anticipation of filling it with babies sat at the end of the street in a cul-de-sac with four other families. Every day he passed another kid growing taller and older, while their house sat near empty. He didn’t know how to fix it, or what he could do to make things better. Somehow their lives had spun so far out of control he didn’t know how to come back.
Jake rolled the motorcycle into the drive and shut it off. The windows were all dark, which struck him as a little strange. It was still fairly early. Usually Nicole had some show to watch or a movie streaming. But maybe Nicole hadn’t come straight home. It was Friday after all. He privately hoped she was out doing something. It would be better than all the days she’d spent shut inside the house, bar
ely speaking to anyone. It was past time Nicole rejoined the living once more.
Jake let himself in the front door and the soft strings of sultry music sang through the air. He locked the bolt, dropped his keys in the bowl by the door and cocked his head to the side. They’d left for the barbecue about the same time, and she never left anything turned on.
“Nicole?” he called.
The scent of apples and cinnamon perfumed the air, a lot like the candles in their bedroom. Nicole had begun buying them special many years ago because they were his favorite.
He glanced into the living room and down the hall that led to the unused rooms in the house. They were all dark. He strode through the living room and caught sight of a light on in the bedroom. Nicole’s purse sat on the kitchen counter, her phone plugged in at the charging station along with her tablet.
Guilt gnawed at him. He should have driven to the barbecue with her and left when she did. There were a hundred ways he could be there more for Nicole, but he never saw them until the opportunity had passed. He couldn’t seem to stop failing her at every turn, no matter how he wanted this to stop.
He briefly thought about leaving, getting back on his bike and driving until he was out of gas, but he couldn’t keep running from this thing tearing them apart. There had to be a solution.
“Babe, you should have told me you were heading home.” He stepped into the bedroom and froze.
Nicole lay across the width of the bed, draped in a short, cream-colored robe that gaped open. If his eyes didn’t deceive him, she wasn’t wearing anything besides the robe. Her auburn hair spread out around her shoulders like a cape, partially obscuring the swell of her breasts below the fabric. She propped her head up on her hand, the other smoothing down her chest. Her nipples stood out clearly through the material.
He remembered this particular item very well. There had once been a matching camisole and thong but in his enthusiasm, they’d ripped irreparably. He was always destroying her lingerie with his thick fingers and fumbling hands. He couldn’t help it if she reduced him to a greedy caveman, capable of little care. Well, he couldn’t care a lot about her clothing, but her, he cared a lot about her.
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