If he’d pulled this act a few months ago, she’d be swooning and thinking everything was going back to normal. Now part of her wanted to be pissed at him for even considering he could come into this house and take her as if nothing had ever come between them. But she couldn’t deny that a tiny seed of hope had taken root.
Maybe their love had died and they were finding a new one. Was that even possible?
She picked a pair of trousers, a blouse and a blazer from her much-abbreviated wardrobe and quickly got dressed. Getting out of bed had been a chore, but she’d managed to get a shower, fix her makeup and hair, all while still wearing the pink silk nightie. She carefully hung the outfit, panties and all, on a hanger and hurried out of the bedroom.
The office would be quiet today with half the staff out for yearly training. It was a relief since her thoughts were screaming at her. She didn’t think she could take the memories of coming so hard she’d screamed while her desk neighbor chattered about her five cats. The two were mutually exclusive.
Nicole stopped in the kitchen and stared at a vase of white roses sitting on a card table in the middle of the eat-in kitchen nook.
When had Jake had time to bring her flowers?
Had he brought them to her in the middle of the night after whatever emergency he’d been called away to?
She didn’t know, but the blooms stirred a smile from her and that seed of hope pulsed, filling her with warm, fuzzy sensations she wasn’t ready to name yet. He’d once brought her flowers for every occasion. A project completed at work, birthdays, holidays, any reason at all he’d stop at a grocery store or florist and get her a bouquet. The price had never mattered to her, it was showing her he cared.
Nicole could remember the last bouquet he’d bought. It’d been for the funeral they’d had for Willow. A bunch of pink roses and carnations they’d left on the gravesite, together.
She’d missed flowers these last few months.
Maybe this was the beginning of something new.
Nicole lifted the vase and inhaled the fragrance of one large blossom.
There was no denying that between the sex, presents and flowers, hope was growing. Maybe a better way to look at it was that the love for her husband hadn’t really died. It had withered and gone dormant. With just a little attention she could feel it reviving. Was this his plan?
She put the vase down and went about gathering her breakfast and lunch into her tote. All the while her thoughts revolved around the fact that love wasn’t quite as dead as she’d first thought.
They’d tried to change—both of them—but nothing had worked. Jake had walls up so high she’d been effectively shut out. Not that she’d been in much of a state to climb the barrier. The miscarriage had taken part of her soul. Her very being. Battering down Jake’s defenses was beyond her. But now he was chasing her all over again.
Did she want that?
Could they have the kind of love they’d once shared?
Nicole didn’t know and there wasn’t time to dawdle before work any longer. She scooped up her tote, purse and at the last minute grabbed the flowers before hustling out to her car, strapping the vase into the passenger seat. Maybe this wasn’t the best idea, to indulge in the relationship she’d had with Jake like this, but it made her feel. And she’d been empty and numb for so long, any feeling at all was a welcome change from the dark depression that had strangled her.
She pushed the thoughts from her mind, turned up the radio and sang along to the morning tunes. One nice thing about the old house was how much closer to work it was. The whole drive took no more than fifteen minutes with traffic before she pulled into the parking garage and gathered her things for the trek into the building.
When she’d been in college Nicole had wanted an exciting career. Maybe in fashion or music, something glamorous. Thank goodness her parents had talked her out of both. There was nothing truly exciting about being an analyst, but she’d long since learned the value of a stable job with plenty of upward mobility. The reality was that Jake’s job would only ever pay so much. Metro City had a much better policy on pay than many cities of comparable size, but for the family they’d wanted they needed a bigger income. Which was where her job came into the picture.
Nicole muttered her hellos as she passed coworkers before finally reaching her desk. She didn’t rate an office, not yet, but she had a large, L-shaped desk with a decent view of the Metro City Amusement Park. The park had birthed the whole city, and on any given day she could watch people soar through the air on coasters doing loop de loops. What had begun as a kitschy theme park and a few hotels had sprouted a city and culture. There was a huge emphasis on the everyday hero. There were even weekly spotlights on the news about a local hero, and any time there was an extreme display of heroism, the mayor rolled out the thank-yous. That mentality had attracted Nicole years ago. The idea that there was greatness in everyone.
Take Tanya and Cole, for example. In the disaster that was the attempted Olympic bombings, the couple had played an integral part in ending what could have been a tragic loss of many lives. They’d been honored by the mayor with medals and a whole production. Every TV station had wanted a piece of them, though the couple had mostly declined the offers. Nicole had moved here for school and a cheesy idea that of all cities, here she could make a life for herself that mattered. It was dumb, but she’d been fed a steady diet of romantic notions and sky-high dreams growing up.
Her family had been completely normal. A mom and dad, still married and bickering about who tracked dirt into the house. An older brother who would probably never get his nose out of a book or project but was somehow moderately successful. She’d wanted something more than normal.
Nicole sighed and stared out her window. How long had it been since she’d gone to the theme park? A few years at least. Maybe she should go. Oh, she’d feel silly, but maybe she needed that dose of wonder again in her life. When she’d imagined the Dread Pirate Roberts could be her hero someday.
Part of Jake’s appeal was the contradiction of good ol’ country boy in the city. He was about as far from normal as a girl could get, with a sweet drawl and rough hands. She hadn’t even minded his job that much because their normal wasn’t really normal at all.
“Nice flowers.” Collin leaned against her desk, one hand in his pocket, the other holding a cup of coffee.
“Morning,” she replied automatically to hide her jump of surprise.
Nicole glanced up at him but his gaze wasn’t on her face. It was a little lower. Irritated, she tugged her blouse down in the back, bringing her neckline up as far as she could manipulate it. Since her wonderfully tipsy happy hour on Monday she’d avoided Collin. He was a handsome, suave man. The kind she’d thought she might marry one day, before she met Jake and her ideals of the perfect man changed. Oh, Nicole had indeed considered him for a rebound after the divorce in her spiteful moments, but she didn’t want the man. Not like she wanted Jake to sit with her and hold her hand while she was in the bath he’d run for her.
“You look lovely today. Want a cup of coffee?” he asked.
“No thank you.” She’d never picked up another cup after Willow.
“Did you do something different with your hair?” Collin reached over and tucked a curl behind her ear.
Nicole recoiled and his fingers skated along her jaw. He was lucky she didn’t break those damn fingers. Jake had taught her more than a little about self-defense. “Excuse me, need to run to the break room.”
She grabbed her tote and retreated. His desk was on a completely different floor, so he couldn’t hang around for long. But he could and did follow her.
“I was thinking we might get together. What are you doing this weekend?” He walked so close their arms brushed.
“Sorry, Collin, I’m not interested.” She sped up but he matched her pace. What was wrong with the man?
“Okay, okay, sorry. I know you and your husband just separated. Too soon, I get it.” He said the word
s as clear as day, and with no attempt whatsoever to be quiet.
Nicole stopped in her tracks. An invisible hand constricted her throat and her knees locked in place. Collin took two more steps before pivoting to face her, head tilted to the side and features creased as if he wanted to ask a question but couldn’t find enough words to string a whole sentence together. God, how had she ever found him attractive?
“How did you know that?” she demanded. She’d told Tanya, that was it. Her private life was that, private. Her parents didn’t even know.
“I heard you say it to your friend on Monday. We all did.” He shrugged.
Heat blossomed on her cheeks and her jaw hung open. Was that why Tanya had hustled her out of the bar? Had she really announced to everyone she was separating from Jake?
“It’s none of your business,” she blurted and pushed past him into the break room.
“Nicole. Nicole, wait.”
Collin continued to follow her into the kitchen area with the little four-top tables where people gathered to eat lunch and socialize away from their desks. A few people stood clustered around the coffeepot, a bunch of groggy zombies.
She pulled open the fridge and froze.
Sitting on the middle rack where usually someone stashed that week’s birthday cake was a black frosted monstrosity with Nicole, Free At Last scrawled on it in hot-pink letters. A pink ball and chain with the cuff open looped around the outside.
“What is that?” she shrieked.
“It’s just a joke,” Collin replied. He had the good grace to appear a little bit ashamed.
She slammed the door closed and glared at the man. “Was this your idea?”
“Well, you seemed happy about it on Monday.” He glanced around as if looking for an exit.
“This isn’t funny, Collin. This is my life. My private life. It’s none of your business.” She whirled around, avoiding the stares from the coffee zombies and stormed back to her desk, head held high. The invisible hand around her chest squeezed tighter until her lungs burned.
The whole office knew?
She glanced at the people already at their desks. A few were conspicuously not looking at her, the others whirled to busy their hands as if they hadn’t been staring.
They knew. All of them.
Her heart pounded painfully against her ribs. She couldn’t deal with this.
Nicole picked up her purse, hugged the flowers to her chest and hurried back out to her car. The silence of the little space was a momentary haven in the wreck of her life. She sucked down deep breaths of air. This was horrible. No one at the office had even known about her pregnancy. But they all knew about her split from Jake.
She blinked back the tears and stared at the sky bridge connecting the garage to the building. A man strode toward her level purposefully. She couldn’t tell who it was, but on the off chance Collin was following her, she started the engine and backed out of her spot. This was too much.
The streets were empty, all reasonable people being at work this time of the day. She sniffled and the first tears fell down her cheeks.
This sucked. Royally sucked.
Her phone pressed into her thigh so she dug it out at a light and dropped it into the cradle. The Bluetooth connected automatically with a beep.
Don’t do it.
“Call Jake,” she said with a hiccup.
The Bluetooth chimed and a second later the line began to ring.
Chapter Six
Jake stood at the end of the mostly unloaded semi truck and watched a silver sedan waved down the drive by the undercover officer masquerading as a gang enforcer.
It was almost alien to be on scene in boots, jeans and his own plaid button-up shirt. Since taking down Alvarez that morning, they’d cleaned up the farm and let the bad guys come to them. It was like shooting fish in a barrel. He’d never made so many easy busts in his life.
His phone began to vibrate on his hip. He glanced down at the display and swallowed a curse.
Nicole.
Everything in him said to answer it, but with a car full of small-time dealers rolling toward him looking for the supplier, he didn’t have a moment to spare. He forced his gaze away from the phone and stared at the driver of the silver car. Unlike most of the other people arriving to either run the pot bales to another location or pick up some to sell, this car had two people.
He started walking toward the car as it eased to a stop. The driver rolled the window down and Jake leaned against the door.
“Where’s Jose?” the driver asked.
“In the barn.” Jake didn’t know who Jose was. No one else had asked for him. “Pull in so we keep this quiet. Too much traffic today.”
The man nodded as if what Jake said made the most sense.
Jake watched the car roll away from him and maneuver into the barn.
Five…four…three…two…one…
A few muted shouts and the farm went quiet once more.
It was too easy.
“What crawled up your ass and died?” Cole sauntered toward him, wearing clothing four sizes too large and several gold chains. The look was utterly ridiculous, but it had passed muster so far.
“I don’t like this,” he replied.
“You’ve been a broken record all morning. I get it. I agree. But I’m also saying it’s about time we caught a break on some of the bigger movers and shakers.”
“Yeah. I suppose.” The sad truth was that for the last couple of years they’d been fighting a losing battle with the dealers and drug runners. They were always a day late and a dollar short. The reality was that as the economy suffered, narcotics sales skyrocketed, which meant so did crime. Word of a mole only made the situation bleaker.
“How are—things?” Cole tripped over his words, but Jake got the gist.
“I don’t know.” He glanced away, falling into the memories of Nicole’s sweet moans, the hot clench of her body. “Better? The same? I’m not sure.”
“Give it time. Did you go to that place I told you about?” Cole must have found something incredibly fascinating in the cornfield because his gaze never moved from the stalks.
“Yup,” Jake replied.
Cole’s phone rang, breaking the conversation. Jake hid his laugh by turning in place and surveying the quiet farm. The family from the farmhouse were gone, the body cleaned up and everything at least appeared back to normal but it felt off. Maybe it was too quiet. Maybe they should have gotten a few people in the fields.
“We’re being relieved.” Cole slapped his shoulder. “Let’s get the others and go grab a drink.”
An hour later, Jake and six of the team sat clustered around a TV at their favorite bar, none of them speaking. The news told them what they already knew, complete with video footage of the sting in progress from the night before.
“Did anyone even see these guys?” Becca glanced at him. “Jake?”
“The angle of the camera makes me think they were on the road bordering the western fields. That way had a line of trees on it. If they were in or behind those,” he shook his head, “I never would have seen them.” Plus, his attention had focused on the immediate vicinity.
“Well, that kills the operation,” Cole muttered.
Jake wasn’t so sure the story hadn’t been held from the morning and afternoon news on request. They’d worked the scene all night and day, with only a few snatches of sleep early in the morning before they were back at it. Chances were their fish had dried up and their barrel was just plumb empty. An operation like the sneak sting they’d been running could last only so long. But he wasn’t about to argue the point. There wasn’t enough energy.
“I’ll be back,” Becca announced. She slid off her stool and sauntered toward the back of the bar, presumably to the restrooms.
He continued to watch the video, which showed a progression of clips through the day. The damn news crew were better than an honest-to-God spy. He found it hard to believe that their commanding officer didn’t have some
notion of what was going on. Hell, with the way O’Neil had been acting since his recognition in the foiled bombings, it wouldn’t surprise Jake if he were promotion hunting, either in the city or elsewhere.
The TV jumped to an interview of O’Neil by a female news anchor. It didn’t surprise Jake in the least.
“Is it just me, or was this too easy?” Matt Lawrence asked as he spun his beer bottle in a circle.
“Don’t start that.” Cole thumbed toward Jake. “He’s been saying that all day.”
“It’s not just me then?” Matt glanced at Jake and he nodded. “Two guys narc has been after for years just fall into our laps in a week? I don’t like it.”
Jake didn’t either, but he’d said it enough today.
Aaron gathered the empty beers and carried them to a trash bin. The resounding crash and crunch of glass was getting to be too much. Jake was tired. Exhausted was more like it, but he didn’t want to go home. Least not to the brick house, and Nicole wouldn’t be home from work yet. He’d have to make do sleeping by himself.
“Vant, did I hear those narc guys right? You used to work those cases?” Matt asked.
“Yup. It was one back then, but there were seven guys at the heart of the operation. We took one into custody, and last I heard he’s still behind bars. The—”
“Who was that?” Matt asked.
Cole groaned and tipped his beer up, emptying the bottle.
“Diego Cruz.” The memory of slapping cuffs on that bastard still felt good. “He was in the inner circle, but really he managed the enforcers, made sure they had security and ran a lot of the dummy ops so we’d follow him and not the real drugs.”
“What happened to the other six?” Matt leaned forward.
“They held together for a little while, but then the best we can guess is that some infighting started. Alvarez, who died last night, teamed up with two of the other guys to take the bulk of the business. The other three went solo.”
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