Chase was almost crying but had held my eye the whole time. I was truly stunned. I understood very little of her background. How could I.
Stu and I had met Barney through the climbing club years earlier and had picked up scraps of his background. In many ways this revelation from Chase joined the dots those scraps had given us.
I held her hands in mine and squeezed gently. “That, I mean to say…”
“It’s okay,” she said. “I haven’t told many people outside of the support group my story before. Stu does not know that much. My SM profile is vague about my background. I don’t want any sympathy or worse.”
I said, “I can do that, not worse I mean.” Words let me down sometimes. She at least smiled through the tears. “What I mean is that in my years on the road I quickly learned not to judge people. Take them at face value and do not judge books by covers. For example, you threw me when I first saw you turning up wearing nail polish for a climb! But when I found out what the nail polish was and why you were wearing it… That was cool!”
Chase smiled again. “After we broke up last year I decided I needed to be upfront from day one with anyone I met who I might fall for…” We were both silent for a while absorbing all that had been said. I know my mind was racing, on many tracks at the same time.
“You okay?” she said to me.
“Yes,” I replied feeling a little guilty that I had not asked her first. “You?”
“Yes, very much so,” she said and put her head on my shoulder again. “You know I meant it don’t you?”
There were so many things she could mean by that, how to answer?
“You should go. Let your light shine. Go to South America. See what you need to. Scratch all the itches you need to. If the fates wish we’ll get another chance.”
I’d known this girl less than thirty-six hours. If I’d not lived through them I would have been miming being sick right now. It all sounded so cheesy but in that moment I believed every word she said. I had no clue how to reply. So I didn’t. I just kissed her. She kissed me back.
8.2Christmas comes early
I’m the first to admit that my head was not in the game at work the next day as I got to my first appointment. Not a good start as my boss was keen to discuss my recent performance. I was late for that first appointment but closed it somehow. More luck than judgement. Calling into my boss with the confirmed order set my head back to the here and now. I could hear his relief. “Keep it going, never give up. Know when to shut up,” he said as I put the phone down. The commission also set my brain running. I could buy unused flight quota from the flight bank. It was pricey but I could. I could make the money.
Over the next month I did a lot of talking. I’d say almost in equal measure between sales patter and discussing potential plans with friends and family. I took all the leads I could get from head office and after two weeks solid sales got an expanded territory. I was easily using a litre of distilled water a week in my van, covering close to a thousand miles a week! I was knackered.
Introducing Chase to my parents was interesting. We were not together but we were inseparable when not working. Not being together was a mutual agreement but was the hardest thing. Anytime we were alone, and sometimes when we weren’t, there was almost a magnetic attraction. We ended up sitting next to each other by accident. An accidental touch was enough to make me want to be with her. Not just in the biblical sense but be her partner as well as her lover. We both knew I was going and that any short term joy of being together would be massively outweighed by being separated when I left. I had to go to come back. To come back and be able to stay back.
Chase had been an unexpected rock through all this. There was no discussion of a relationship after my return beyond what she had said in the pub that night. She had used the word fate, I knew my parents would say ‘If it was God’s will’. I never spoke of this conversation to my parents but being so inseparable they did soon meet and Chase was a complete hit with my folks. That did actually complicate things a little. Mum was often questioning why I was leaving again. She always did. It was one of her things before I went. Like when I was away and we spoke on the phone or on SM. She would not necessarily say how she or Dad were but instead would give me a breakdown of who had died, who’d got married or had a baby in the village. It was like having my own personal parish blog. I sometimes wondered if, aside from Mum, I knew more about what was happening to people in our village than they did. Even if I was thousands of miles away five thousand metres up a mountain!
The sales, however, were going very well. I was properly motivated and employing all the tricks I’d learned over the last few months, definitely shutting up and passing a pen to sign on the dotted line at the first okay. No over-selling for this salesman. And a salesman was what I was for now; I had a very specific goal. Earn as much as possible to stay on the road for at least another year. I’d drawn up a bucket list with the help of Stu, Barnacle and Chase. Amy had not got the idea and did not get me.
“You’re making more money in three months than I make in a year. You’ve got a flat, a girl if you’d just have her and some of the most loyal friends I’ve ever seen. Why would you give that up?”
Chase and I went red in the pub when she said it. To our ears she’d as good as shouted it.
“He has to go. It’s who he is and what he does,” said Stu. “Look, if my situation was different I’d be out there too. It’s just right now I have responsibilities. Family stuff, you know…” his voice trailed off. I was opposite him and could see a tear in his eye.
Chase was next to him and actually gave him a hug.
“Thanks, Stu. I sometimes forget how hard this is for you,” I said softly
“Actually, seeing you out there gives me hope I can get out again someday. Life constantly changes, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. I get that.” He sighed, then grinned. “I travel vicariously through you! If you stop you won’t post those images, write those updates you put up on SM for our group. I love those. I’ve missed them since you’ve been back. The travel blogs and vlogs are not personal to me. You also have picked up some of Barnacle’s tone of phrase. He’s said it himself.”
Barnacle nodded at me whilst in the middle of a long swig of his pint. It would appear right now he did not want to add his own words. Stu had the stage.
“I still don’t get it,” said Amy. “Everything is going right for you here and now. Things can change. This right here,” she didn’t actually say Chase but looked sideways at her, almost involuntarily, “may not be here in six months or a year’s time. The world isn’t going anywhere. It’ll all be out there to visit on holidays or whatever.”
“That’s the point,” said Stu. “Holidays are like a 3Dvlog. They’re interesting, full of detail and wonder, but over too quickly. On a holiday you don’t have time to get to know a culture, go off-piste and explore properly. It’s like you moving here from Birmingham. If you’d visited Devon for two weeks in the summer you’d have no idea of the seasons, the people that really live here. The hidden secret places the locals go, assuming they’re not in Barney’s blog.” Barnacle nodded with his head on one side in agreement.
“But you often move on. You don’t see all the seasons. How many places have you been to and seen all the seasons?”
“Ah, but if you’re on holiday you don’t have the choice. When travelling you have more choice. You can make contacts, network, go back to places for the best parts rather than getting back on the charter flight two days before the best annual festival the area has that you missed when researching your holiday or couldn’t go to anyway as you couldn’t get the time off.”
“But Chris has spent eight years doing it. Isn’t it about time he grew up…?”
Barney actually spat out his mouthful and laughed out loud, as did Chase, laugh out loud that is. Stu beamed and looked at me.
“Hey, right here. I’m in the room with you!” I said a little hurt. I’d enjoyed Stu’s defenc
e of me. Although I was feeling that he was actually speaking about himself in a way he’d never been able to since his parents’ accident.
“I know,” said Amy, sheepishly grinning at me. “But what I’ve said is true. You’ve got so much going on here and you’ve been out there. Why go again?”
“Because there are places out there that fascinate me. That’s what my bucket list is all about. Places I want, no need to explore ‘off-piste’ as Stu put it. If I don’t go now I’ll always be wanting to go and won’t be able to settle to anything or anyone. I thought I could before. I’ve learned from that and now know what I need to do so yes, then I can ‘grow up’ as you put it!”
“Okay, I get it, well I don’t. But I get there’s no changing your mind and I guess that’s the point. But what if you’re still the same way when you get back, if you get back?”
“As we’ve all said, things change, and there’s no guarantees,” said Chase. She winked at me across the table and smiled. “We’re just making plans with the hope that certain things won’t change and that others will.”
That, it appeared, was the end of the matter.
The bucket list we devised started in Bolivia. I’d promised Chase I would only visit the rainforest and Nazca lines with her, should we ever get the chance to go together, but I felt compelled to visit Puma Punku. I cannot answer for why.
From there I would travel down the west coast of South America to the cape and fly over to Australia. I was avoiding the old USA as since the late tweenies and into the ’20s the second amendment lobby had grown ever stronger much to the horror of all creeds across the globe. Having been brought up a Christian I found it such a contradiction that a Christian country could so vociferously condone carrying guns to defend themselves when the ultimate conclusion of that defence was the killing of another human. I’d once seen a documentary about looking for Bigfoot where an American actually said, “As a conservative Christian no one from around here would dare trespass on my land”, referencing the fact that there were unexplained footprints on his land and that he was carrying a rifle and would shoot anyone without a second thought as if it was his right to do so. That sentiment had grown into what was approaching a civil war in the old USA. The UN had actually imposed sanctions against the USA the year before. A north-south split in the country was appearing yet again. Fundamentalist factions that had been against the overpowering decadence of the west were finding the once superpower was pulling itself apart over the second amendment that had been written over 250 years earlier when the world was a very different place. Even language was becoming a dividing line with those in favour of upholding the second amendment mainly speaking English and those in favour of rescinding it speaking in Spanish.
Areas of the USA were becoming no-go areas for tourists and as with the path to my parents’ front door visiting these parts of the old USA was an unnecessary risk. Even with honeypots like Yosemite and the Grand Canyon.
From Australia I’d hopefully pop over to NZ for some rafting. I had some connections there. If time and money allowed I wanted to spend at least three months trekking the Great Wall in China which was opening up considerably and I wanted to improve my Mandarin.
From there, home to an unknown future and possibly the biggest adventure I could conceive of. Coming back home to start a new life, hopefully with Chase, and to be amongst people I had a history and a future with. Almost everyone I’d known in the last eight years I’d only ever had a present with. I still did not know exactly what I would do in the UK. But I was now excited to find out and part of this trip was to do that. As Chase had said, I had some itches that needed scratching before I could relax.
I calculated that with a fair wind £50k would be enough if I could secure quota flights. Otherwise, I’d be working sea passage. I’d done that before but only across the Channel. I wanted some spare cash to come home to so I set a goal of £100k. In the first month I’d hit salesperson of the month and had £45k. I was ecstatic and blew £3k on a weekend with the lads, Amy and Chase. I got a right dressing down from Chase when she saw the bill over my shoulder as it popped up on my phone. I told her she should not have been looking. It turns out telling her that was a mistake too.
I made the decision that Monday to hand in the months’ notice on my flat. That committed me in one sense. I held off handing in my notice with my job as they only needed a week's notice period and due to my performance at present I was getting the plum leads. I would be committed when I told Frank, my boss, I was off. I’m sure he secretly knew something was up due to my sudden turnaround. Officially he was putting it down to my break up. He knew nothing else of my personal life.
Over the next two weeks I beat the previous month's performance for the same period and was on course for a company record. I’m not bragging; I was still just super motivated and excited. I was also becoming seduced by the cash and was considering staying on another month or two to get enough for a deposit on a flat or house.
“Don’t be stupid,” said Chase and Stu one evening.
“Two months will turn into six, then a year then you’ll feel trapped or regretful and blow everything. Don’t live with regret. It’s the worst.” Stu meant that.
It was now early October. The outdoor climbing season was closing in the UK. The white water season was just starting and the winter swells would start to come in soon. Over in Bolivia the summer and wetter months were about to start.
“Evening, peeps,” said Barney as he came into the pub. It was Friday night and we were all meeting to review options for the weekend. “Amy’s just pulled in.” He was grinning from ear to ear like a fool. “Who wants a drink?” Something was up. That man should never play poker.
“Nick, my good man!” he shouted. Even Nick looked suspicious. He’d given me a bit of a wide berth since he overstepped the barman boundary.
“Yes,” Nick replied slightly suspiciously as if someone was about to try and order a cup of tea in his bar. I’d seen someone do that once. It did not end well.
“Two bottles of Prosecco and six glasses please.”
“Prosecco?” Nick was very suspicious now.
“Ah Amy,” said Barnacle. “Yeah, we’re all here now.”
“Two bottles and five glasses,” said Nick.
“Six glasses please, Nick, one for you too!”
“Uh, okay. Who’s paying?” Nick was now confused and concerned that he may be spending his profit on a drink he didn’t want.
“Chris, he’s paying,” said Barnacle in a matter of fact way.
“What? What? Why…?” I was now in a bit of a bewildered state. I did not want to spend a hundred quid on a drink I hadn’t ordered. I knew Chase would be on my side. “Tell him I’m not paying!” I said to the group as a whole expecting at least one person to back me up.
“No. You’re paying,” said Chase.
“What? What? Why…?” I said again like some sort of groundhog.
“You’ve done it again, lass!” said Nick now also grinning like a fool. “That’s twice in as many months you’ve made him look like a fool. She’s a keeper, Chris.”
I had no clue what was happening apart from the fact that I was being swindled out of hard earned money by my so called friends.
Barnacle brought the bottles and glasses to the table after he’d poured Nick a glass which he raised to me saying, “Cheers, mate. I’ll add it to your tab. I know you’re good for it. By Thursday, as usual, yes?”
I liked to be in control. I was so far out of control right now and not at all comfortable.
“Stu, I think the floor is yours,” said Barnacle.
“Someone better start talking soon,” I said. They all laughed. What on earth is going on? I thought.
“We know you’re leaving soon,” said Stu.
“And that’s why we’re celebrating?” I asked gesturing at the prosecco.
“No,” said Stu ginning. “It’s because we’ve all been naughty,” he said, grins now spreading across th
eir faces. I think the frown of confusion on my face must have been equal to the sum of their grins.
“What the hell is this, an intervention? I thought we’d been through all that. I’m going and you can’t stop me.” My defences were now up. Flight or fight and I was feeling in a fight mood. Fight to be able to fly.
“No, no, no,” said Stu looking down and shaking his head. “We’ve got you some going away goodies. Toys.”
“Ah damn it, Stu, can I tell him about the sack?”
“Go on then, Barney, you’ll probably explain it better anyway and I think you just did!” Barney was obviously a little overexcited.
“I’ve got you a new rucksack for your travels.”
“I’ve got one,” I replied not seeing what the excitement could be about.
“Shut up and listen, Chris!” said Chase taking all the wind from my sails.
“You know I’ve been getting graphene tech to test. Well, about six months ago I was approached by the Uni to help them design a new rucksack using graphene tech. As you know I don’t like talking about the designs until they’re ready for test. We don’t want anyone copying. Well, when you decided you were off again I decided to get Stu involved. I subbed some of the design work to him. He had to sign a confidentiality agreement, as much to keep it a secret from you as anything! We took the opportunity to design a sack that would do for as many circumstances as possible. The ‘Turtle’ I’m calling it. When Chase asked if there was anything we could do as a leaving gesture I got her and Amy to sign the same agreement.” At this point Barney pulled a small pack from the inside of his jacket pocket and put it on the table. It was about 100 x 200 x 30mm, black and with a strap running from one end to the other. The only thing I recognised on the pack was the plastic buckle on the strap. There was a small red button on it just above the buckle.
Disconnected (Connected series Book 1) Page 10
