Abby responded to him as if she were dying of thirst and he was her water. Somewhere in the back of her mind she heard someone moaning. Was that him?
Her moans were driving him mad. She responded to him with fervor and not with the coyness he had experienced with other women. She was unskilled but showing true aptitude. Her hands remained entrapped in his above her head. If he pulled his head back, she followed. He let her hands go, only to rest them on her waist. Her moans continued as her hands swept into his hair, which was no longer tied back.
Cameron moved his kisses to her chin and then her neck. She shuddered and he smiled as he continued. Apparently, her neck was a sensitive spot. Cameron kissed the skin right below her ear and she nearly came off the bed.
“Cameron,” she breathed. “Cameron?”
“Hmmm?” He was lavishing much needed attention to her earlobe.
“I f-feel odd,” she said timidly.
“Is it a bad odd or good odd?”
“It isna bad, b-but I’m not sure i-it’s g-good, either.”
Oh, it’s very good.
“What do ye feel?” He kissed her neck some more.
“I feel,” she breathed in deeply, “I feel b-breath-le-less and there’s a tigh-tightness in me. I feel pressure and tin-tingling. Everything is t-tingling! And thr-throbbing. I’m throbbing!” she said, sounding worried. “And…” she let her voice drift off.
“And?” Cameron began kissing the other side of her neck.
“And you have s-something that’s poking me. Wh-What is that?”
She sucked in her breath as his tongue tasted her skin. When he heard her last words, he stopped cold.
Abby didn’t know what happened to him. One minute he was kissing her and the next he stopped all of a sudden and his shoulders began to shake.
“Cameron? Is something the m-matter?”
He looked up at her and she saw the glimmer of humor there in his eyes. Then she saw the smile.
“Why are you l-laughing?”
He thought about a quick response. He didn’t want to hurt her feelings by thinking he was laughing at her.
“Ye have yer hands in a sensitive area, and it made me laugh.” He said the first thing that came to mind.
Abby pursed her lips together in thought and then brightened up. “Ahh! Now I know where you’re ti-ticklish.”
He inwardly groaned. Would he now have to pretend to be ticklish?
“You don’t have to w-worry, Cameron. I will nay tell anyone you’re ti-ticklish. And you d-do not have to w-worry about ch-children either. I will get with ch-child.”
He shook his head and sat up. Her words had the affect of throwing water on a flame. He helped her to a sitting position.
“Yes, Cameron. I am not b-barren, at least I d-don’t believe so,” she said, looking at him. She reached out a hand to cover his.
Cameron almost laughed. Nay, she wasn’t barren; he was the male equivalent of it, however. He turned to her.
“Abby, ye’re not understanding. No bairns have resulted from any of my prior relations.” He paused for a minute and admitted that he hadn’t exactly been wanting to conceive during those occasions, either. “Even with the lengthy relations with Gillyanne, there havena been any bairns.”
She saw the pain in his eyes. This beautiful man had a love of children and family, and it hurt him to believe he could not sire children. Her palm lifted to his cheek and his unfocused eyes moved towards hers.
“You have n-not tried with m-me.”
Her whisper was oh so quiet and gentle. His eyebrows furled. They studied each other a long moment. Cameron remained silent. She was so honest and trusting. He wanted to believe but he wasn’t a lad of ten.
Dreams and wishes were for children, and he couldn’t sire children.
He shook his head.
“I will n-not allow… this, this m-marriage to…to b-be annul-anulled, Cameron!”
Cameron heard the alarm in her voice. He noticed that when she was upset, her speech worsened. He had been surprised by how much she had improved when he was gone.
Cameron saw her trembling with tears welling in her eyes.
“I cannot.” Her voice was thick with tears. Her hands clenched into fists at her sides. “I w-will not a-allow it!” she yelled, slamming her fist down on the bed.
Abby couldn’t be with another man and he couldn’t be with another woman.
Nay!
Cameron was hers and she belonged to him. They belonged to each other. This thought echoed in her head and was etched into her heart.
Cameron hated seeing her quivering lip and watery eyes. If he was being honest, the thought of being with others disturbed him, too.
Damn it.
She. Was. His.
He braced himself for his next words. She would be better off if he didn’t touch her. At least then, she could enter into another marriage pure. Her prospects for a good match would be better under those circumstances than if he made love to her, as he so wanted to do at that moment.
“When the marriage is annulled, ye’ll find another husband Abby. It will be someone who will treat ye well.”
His words felt like a self-inflicted wound. He felt like smashing his hand through the stone wall. She was his.
She was his!
Why did he have to be cursed!
“Nay! I’ll never accept another! I don’t trust men. Only you, Cameron. Only you!”
He could watch men die on a battlefield without so much as blink of his eyes, but her tears undid him.
“It has always, only, ever been you.”
Cameron brought her into the warmth of his arms. He didn’t want the marriage to be annulled, either. Perhaps he could petition Alexander.
His hands combed through the silk of her hair. The perfume of it flooded his senses.
“I will give you children, Cameron. I will!” she whispered fervently.
He hoped God heard her vow.
Chapter Nine
Two months passed and Gillyanne was still present, although she had tempered down her spoiled and possessive outbursts. She claimed that she had not received notice from her sister yet as to accommodations.
Emotions were heavy and running thickly like blood down a river. Everyone was angry with Cameron because he hadn’t consummated the marriage. And as for Cameron, it annoyed him that the whole damn clan knew about this very personal subject.
He, too, was angry.
Part of it was the meddlesome family that he had. He was damned annoyed that no one minded his or her own affairs. Things weren’t helped by his sexual frustration, either. Still, above all remained the fear of losing Abby, and it gnawed him raw. Abby was clueless, though. She had worse concerns.
Abby couldn’t sleep at night due to the odd occurrences that had been happening around her. To make matters worse, her father was attempting to annul her marriage. Word had reached her father that the marriage hadn’t been consummated.
Cameron had seethed as he had read the letter.
“Damn Haynsworth!” Cameron had slammed his fist against the wall in the great room.
“What does it say?” Keith asked.
“Word reached Haynsworth that the marriage has not been consummated,” Cameron said through clenched teeth.
“How?” Aidan asked.
“Ye know how gossip spreads,” Keith answered.
“Or something else? We’ve long suspected someone relating information back to Haynsworth,” Aidan added.
“Perhaps there is an disloyal clansman. If there is one, we’ll find him. Da suspected one.” Cameron clenched his teeth. “As if that wasna bad enough, now Haynsworth is petitioning to have the marriage annulled earlier than the year,” Cameron growled, seeing red.
How dare his marriage relations become common knowledge!
How dare anyone attempt to take his Abby away before time.
“What are ye going to do about this, Cameron?”
Cameron looked at Aidan but was
interrupted before he could answer.
“Consummate the damn marriage, which is what he should have done already,” Alice said from the entrance of the great room.
“Damn it, my marriage is no one’s concern!”
“It is our concern! We like her and she makes ye happy, Cameron. Let it happen,” Alice pleaded.
“I canna get her with child, so what is the purpose?”
“If we have to explain to ye what the purpose is, then ye’re doing it wrong, brother.”
Cameron shot Aidan a hard look, but it didn’t scare the smile off Aidan’s face.
“I volunteer to help ye consummate the marriage. I will sacrifice myself and help ye.” Aidan placed a palm on his chest and hiked his chin up a notch.
Cameron pushed Aidan. “Ye’re asking for it.”
Aidan’s smile was wide. “Aye. I just did!”
Aidan ducked before Cameron could land a punch.
“Would ye two cease?”
“Aye, Mother. Just having a bit of fun with hardstick, here. Or mayhap ‘tis nay hard at all and that’s been the problem all along.”
“Aidan MacPherson!” Alice shouted.
Cameron snorted. “At least by the end of the marriage, she would have remained pure and mayhap have a good match with another.”
“Ye mean whatever match her bastard father will make for her depending on what he stands to gain from the arrangement,” Keith snapped.
“‘Tis not a chance I will take with her future. There will be no fruit from our union.”
“Ye doona know that!” Abigail said, standing next to Alice.
“Damn it all, doona bring Abby into this!” Cameron shouted.
“If ye havena noticed, she’s apart of the solution, Cameron,” Keith said dryly.
Orfeld, Amy’s grandfather, witnessed the familial spectacle. He had come to speak to Cameron and Keith about concerns he had. One was about old man Kressyl, Alice’s uncle, moving his hutch too close to his. Another concern was that there were too many spirits in the clan, and that they needed to perform a ceremony to cleanse their land. Orfeld was a few threads shy of a full plaid, but he was a caring old man. He often complained of inconsequential things, but they had given him permission to just enter the castle when he needed something. Amy mostly helped him, amused that her grandfather was a meddling daft old man.
“If ye need lessons, laird, I’ll be happy tae give ye some. I was quite a virile lad in my younger days,” Orfeld said proudly, his chest puffing out.
“Grandda, please!” Amy said, walking into the room with Owen. Her lips twisted.
“I doona need lessons, damn it,” Cameron responded.
“Well, it sounds tae me that ye’re scared o’ performing, laird.” Orfeld gave Cameron a side look.
“I’ve had enough. Everyone who isna a part of this marriage, stay out of it!” Cameron bellowed and marched off.
“Doona worry, sweetheart, it’ll be resolved,” Alice said, patting Abby’s back.
Abby’s cheeks were twin flames. This was embarrassing. Didn’t Cameron want her?
Months had passed since the wedding, and Cameron had no intention of bedding his bride. Time was expiring.
No one was more aware of that than Abby.
As it was, she barely slept at night. Between being worried that her marriage would end and she would be taken away from Cameron, the strange occurrences wouldn’t let her sleep either.
Abby didn’t mention anything about them, though. Everyone would think she was slipping back to her old, bizarre self.
Mayhap she was.
That thought made her fearful. She shivered.
Abby had seen things move by themselves from the periphery of her vision. She’s seen an apparition, or someone, here and there. It was nothing that she had seen directly, but always at the side of her vision. When she turns her head, it- he or she- is gone.
Something, or someone, visited her every night. It even touched her, because she would wake each morning with fresh cuts, and have no memory of getting them.
Did she do it to herself?
She had begun to fear falling asleep. There were nights when she would force herself to stay awake. Other nights, she needed to drink a sleeping draught. She’d overhead Gillyanne speaking of it, and tried some herself. On those nights, she slept like the dead. With the appearance of these cuts, Abby made certain to cover her arms and not expose them. She needed to hide them lest the family see them and start doubting her mental competency.
Was it someone who cut her? Was it she herself? Could it be the apparition that was just out of her sight and gone when she turned her head?
Abby laughed aloud at the thoughts. If it cut her, then was it a ghost? Abby’s fear, though, was that she was doing it to herself and that she was having visions of things not there. She was concerned that her mind was slipping.
Broken mind?
Aye, she had that and it seemed as if it would never be repaired. The last thing she wanted was to let the family and Cameron know. She’d grown to love them and she didn’t want pity from them; she didn’t want them to know that she was truly unhinged.
Whatever or whoever it was, it would happen at night. The cuts were tiny, but they bled and left marks. She felt powerless. Abby had overcome so much in such a short span of time. She’d learned to speak. Her mind was clear for the first time in years, too, or so she thought until this. What would Cameron think of her? Alice? Keith? Amy? Aidan?
She shook her head. The best thing for her to do was to keep this secret to herself and hold it closely. After being married to Cameron for only a short time, she had to, otherwise the marriage would surely be annulled.
Who would want to be married to someone with a broken mind?
Despite her best to mask her state of mind, it was soon after the letter was received that everyone began taking notice Abby’s odd behavior. She seemed to gradually become more withdrawn and startled. She was fatigued with black circles under her eyes.
Days passed before Abby was forced to go downstairs. She stayed in her rooms, and turned everyone away.
Alice came in one morning. Abby was huddled down in the quilt.
“Get up, Abigail. I willna allow ye to waste yer life away,” Alice said, opening the fabric over the windows to allow light to infiltrate the room.
“I willna take no for an answer, Abigail. Be downstairs or I shall come up and carry ye down myself,” Alice said and left the room.
Abby slowly got out of bed. She stretched and felt sore. Her arms hurt. She was exhausted from concealing her mental lapses from them. It was becoming too taxing to do so. She hadn’t spoken to anyone in days.
Abby dressed in a hurry, fearing Alice would make good on her promise. With one hand flattening her dress skirt, she left her rooms. As Abby came down the stairwell, her eyes rested on the family at the table.
Alice saw her and smiled. “Hungry dear?”
Abby’s feet touched the floor. She hadn’t been feeling well for some time. She suspected it was the night draught she’d been taking. Her stomach was uneasy due to her lack of appetite, and she figured a piece of fruit should help. How long had it been since she ate?
“I’m hungry. Would anyone like…” she said and staggered back. “I don’t feel so well.” Abby heard herself from a distance.
Amy yelled, “Cameron, hurry, she’s going to fall!”
Cameron rushed over and caught her. When he looked at his family, all except one of them, were wearing masks of concern. Alice was smiling.
“What are ye smiling about, Mother?”
Cameron asked a servant to get water and a healer. He turned back to Alice.
“Ye’ve got her with child, Cameron! That was quick, I must admit.” Alice beamed with delight.
Everyone caught on, and one by one, they began to smile. Cameron’s face turned red.
“Ye’ve nothing to be embarrassed about, Cameron,” Keith said, hitting his back in a congratulatory manner.
“Why would ye think that I was embarrassed?” Cameron clenched his teeth.
“Because ye’re blood red, that’s why!” Aidan answered.
“I’m nay embarrassed.”
“Then why are ye red, dear?” Alice asked, smiling.
“Rage!” Cameron boomed, standing up.
“Rage? Odd emotion, isna it, considering Abby is with child,” Aidan said.
He closed his eyes, willing his patience to stay with him.
“My marriage is of my concern. Damn it, can ye nay mind yer own affairs! She is not with child!”
“How do ye know?” Amy asked.
“Because the marriage hasna been consummated,” Cameron said, lowering his voice out of concern for Abby.
“Are ye certain?” Alice asked.
Cameron looked up. “Yes, Mother, doona ye think I would know if the marriage was consummated?”
“Then she must be carrying someone else’s bairn,” Aidan joked, laughing. Everyone gaped at Aidan.
Cameron swung at him and the punch connected. Aidan, a tall man but not taller than Cameron, flew backwards.
“Doona ever speak of my wife in such a foul manner, Aidan. I will never tolerate it, teasing or nay!”
Aidan cupped his chin, blood coming out of his mouth.
“I was jesting, Cameron, damn. I didna mean it.”
“Ye deserved to get hit, Aidan. ‘Tis nothing to jest about,” Alice said. “Those rumors wouldna be kind.”
“She soon willna be yer wife if ye doona consummate the damn marriage,” Aidan pointed out.
When Bess came in, she clucked like a chicken.
“Gi’ the girl some air. Move back, move back,” she said waving them away, coming closer with a small medicine jar.
“Is she with bairn?” Bess asked.
Cameron’s nostrils flared.
“Nay. ‘Tis the first time she swoons.”
Cameron turned his gaze to Aidan, daring him to speak.
“Nay, but that isna the only indication o’ carryin’. Has she been eatin’ more, gainin’ weight, or retchin’ in the morns?”
Everyone looked at Cameron.
“Why are ye looking at me?”
Forget Me Not, My Scottish Love (Heart of a Highlander Collection Book 3) Page 9
