CHAPTER 5
Alexa was reading an issue of National Geographic in the waiting room, one leg crossed over the other, and a few strands of her hair falling forward into the gentle curves of her cleavage. Ben smiled when he met her eye. He still felt good from the treatment, as though each step and movement was lighter than it had been before.
“How was it, honey?” asked his mom.
“It was good,” he said. “I think she’s the right therapist for me.”
Dr. Kim joined them at the edge of her doorway.
“Do you mind if we have a word, Mrs. Murdock?” she asked.
“Yes, of course,” said Alexa. She stood up, leaned forward to smooth her sundress out, and then followed Dr. Kim into her office, shutting the door behind her.
Alone in the waiting room, Ben began to process the experience. It was as though a picture had been created out of what had formerly been vague dots. He understood now why sex was at the center of so much of society, why it compelled people to do things, good and bad.
He’d masturbated before, of course. But it had never felt like what he’d just done with Dr. Kim. The difference was black and white. He felt like he’d experienced a taste of something transcendent, and his mind was racing with ideas about how to get more of it.
Ben thought of the state he’d been in that morning, locked in his room, playing Valenfall and shunning the outside the world. He shuddered at the idea of regressing back.
His mother and Dr. Kim were in the therapy room for at least ten minutes, possibly far longer. Ben’s sense of time felt out of sync. When the door finally opened, and his mom walked through it, she didn’t meet his eye. Her face was red, and one of her hands moved restlessly along her dress.
“I have availabilities in my schedule throughout all of next week,” said Dr. Kim. “In Ben’s case, I think it would be best if you-“
“We’ll call if we need to schedule another appointment!” Alexa’s voice was sharp and more than a little intense. She smiled politely at Dr. Kim and all but dragged Ben out of the office, not bothering to say anything to him until they were in the stairwell.
“Mom,” he said, cringing a bit internally. “Are you okay?”
“Yes, honey,” she said. “I’m fine. I just…”
She looked at him and blushed.
“We’ll talk about it more in the car!” she said.
His mom walked fast, keeping a few feet between them, almost like a buffer against whatever was unnerving her. The two of them exited the building and then climbed into the car. Alexa sighed and slipped the key into the ignition without turning it.
“Dr. Kim told me…” She paused, biting her lip slightly. “She said that the two of you engaged in some… unconventional treatment.”
It was Ben’s turn to blush. Hearing the tone in her voice made him feel ashamed of what had happened, even though during and directly after, it had been nothing short of amazing.
“Yeah, she did,” said Ben. “But Mom, as crazy as it sounds, I think she might be onto something.”
Alexa made a dismissive noise and shook her head. She started the car and pulled out onto the street with more acceleration than what was probably needed.
“I didn’t realize the treatment was going to be…” Again, she trailed off, as though it was too dirty for her to describe masturbation and sex in even the vaguest of terms.
“It was fine, Mom,” said Ben. “She’s a professional. She knows what she’s doing, and I think it helped me.”
His mother made an annoyed sounding noise. She slowed the car to a stop at the intersection and looked over at him, frowning.
“Sweetie, what she’s doing is borderline illegal.” She reached over and set a hand on his thigh in what was meant to be a motherly, loving gesture. “I don’t think this is the right approach to take.”
“But Mom, it felt so, uh, I mean, it was really effective,” said Ben. “I think with a couple more treatments I could-“
“There are other things that could help you!” snapped his mom. “You aren’t looking at this clearly. You’re a teenage boy, and to you, what just happened probably felt…”
Once more, Alexa’s internal hang-ups cut her point off halfway through. She squeezed Ben’s thigh slightly and then pulled her hand back as the stoplight turned green.
“I can’t think of anything else that would work like this,” said Ben. “What do you expect me to do instead? Take pills? Go to group therapy? Mom, I feel like this could help me get better!”
His mother sighed. She didn’t say anything, and silence filled the car, thick with tension. Ben leaned back in his seat and stared out the window, feeling his body relax as they pulled onto their home street. He frowned as his mom kept driving, passing their house.
“Uh, mom?” he asked. “That was-“
“I know, honey,” she said. “We’re not going home just yet.”
She smiled and reached into her purse, pulling out a tiny pamphlet and handing it to him. Ben scanned the front of it. It was a brochure for the Pinecross Players, the town’s local theater company.
“Er… what’s this?” he asked.
“They’re auditioning for their summer play,” said his mom.
“And?”
Alexa took a deep breath and let it out forcefully.
“You need to get out of your comfort zone, Ben,” she said. “I realize you may have… enjoyed, what happened in that woman’s office. But it isn’t going to be anything more than a short-term solution to a long-term problem.”
Ben disagreed with her on that point, but didn’t say as much.
“Mom, I’m not an actor,” he said. “I’m not even an aspiring actor.”
“You used to play-act all the time when you were younger, sweetie.”
“Yeah, when I was like, five.” Ben shook his head. “This isn’t going to help me.”
“I think you auditioning for a role, whether you get one or not, will do more for you than whatever treatment Dr. Kim gave you, if you can even call it that.”
There was a surprising amount of passionate venom in Alexa’s voice. Ben couldn’t understand why. She was his mother and Dr. Kim was his therapist. It had been her idea to bring him in for a session in the first place. Ben sighed.
“Fine, whatever,” he said.
“Oh, come on, Ben,” said his mom. “Don’t be that way.”
“I’m only doing this because you won’t let it go, Mom.”
She slowed the car as they approached the Pinecross Player’s theater, which was only a half mile or so from their house. The parking lot was empty, save for a single car, and she pulled into the spot closest to the door.
“Ben…” Alexa turned to look at him, eyes full of emotion. “I love you. And I care about you getting better, more than you know.”
“I know, Mom,” he said.
“Just give this a try,” she said. “And give other things a try. And just keep trying. That’s what’s going to help you get better. There is no magic button that will make you love life.”
Ben nodded, though in the back of his head, he remembered the pleasure of being in front of Dr. Kim, of listening to her voice, feeling her hand against his.
“I know,” he said. “You’re right.”
She nodded to him.
“The auditions aren’t until tomorrow, but it looks like the director is here,” she said. “You can get a copy of the script and stay up late tonight practicing your lines.”
Ben nodded and unbuckled his seat belt. A thought occurred to him, and he raised an eyebrow at his mom.
“Were you interested in theater, when you were younger?” he asked.
“Yeah,” said his mom. “Why?”
Ben chuckled.
“No reason,” he said. “Alright, I’ll do it.”
CHAPTER 6
Ben climbed out of the car and was a little surprised to see his mom getting out, too. She leaned forward to fix her sandal as she came around to the other side, showi
ng a flash of cleavage as her sundress billowed open slightly.
“You’re coming in, too?” he asked.
“Well, yeah,” she said. “Just to talk to the director, and see the old stage. It’s been over a decade since I’ve last been inside.”
“Thinking about auditioning for a role yourself?” asked Ben. His mom scoffed and shook her head.
“No, no,” she said. “My acting days are behind me.”
Ben nodded and began walking toward the front door. The Pinecross Players theater was a large building, at least by the standards of their small town. It was three levels high, with big wooden double doors out front. Next to them was a large corkboard, shielded from the rain by the porch’s overhanging, and covered with advertisements and pamphlets for various plays and productions.
The doors were unlocked. There was a small lobby area on the other side, with a booth for a ticket vendor and a few bathrooms. Past that was another set of doors, and through them was the theater itself.
Ben had been inside a couple of times before, mostly for school and non-theater related events held in the space. There was seating for at least a couple hundred people. The aisles sloped downward, and the stage, aside from having a floor in need of refinishing, looked fairly professional.
Thick curtains hung from either side and along the back, and Ben could see spacious areas for the cast to wait in the wings. There was also a small hatch, painted to match the floor, along the back wall, presumably another entrance for actors to enter or exit.
A woman sat in one of the seats closest to the stage, holding a clipboard and pen and focusing on something. Ben looked over at his mom, who smiled at him, and then began walking down the aisle toward the woman.
“Hello,” he said. “Are you the director, by any chance?”
The woman flinched slightly as Ben’s voice startled her out of focus. She stood up and squinted to get a better look at them in the dark of the mostly unlit auditorium.
“Yes,” she said. “I take it that makes you another potential actor, looking for a role?”
“I guess it does,” he said. “My name is Ben Murdock.”
As he drew closer, he made out more details. The woman was rather attractive, and about the same age as his mom. She had large breasts and nice curves, bordering on being voluptuous if not for the fact that her waist was trim and everything was in nice proportion. Her skin was dark tan, and her hair was jet black and shoulder length.
“Luciana?” Alexa stopped a few steps short of approaching the woman.
“Oh my god, Alexa,” said the woman. “That is you, isn’t it?”
Neither woman said anything for a moment. Ben stood in between them, feeling a bit awkward.
“Uh…” He said, more to break the silence than anything. “Do you two know each other?”
“Yes,” said Alexa. “We do. We went to high school together, and were both in the drama club.”
There was something in Ben’s mother’s voice that hinted at her not being entirely pleased to be seeing the other woman again. He looked over his shoulder at her and saw her frowning slightly.
“It’s been so long,” said Luciana. “You haven’t changed a bit, in all that time.”
The way Luciana spoke made the statement sound almost like an accusation.
“Neither have you, Luciana,” said Alexa. “And you’re the director here, now? You had such aspirations when we were younger.”
“Yeah, what can I say,” said Luciana. “I decided to pursue my career rather than settling for anything less.”
“Well, it certainly looks like that decision paid off,” said Alexa. “The Pinecross Players. Are you planning an international tour anytime soon?”
“Are you here to audition?” asked Luciana. “I’m sure we could find a role backstage that would suit you wonderfully.”
Ben cleared his throat with as much force as he could muster.
“So like I said,” he interrupted. “I’m the one interested in auditioning. I stopped by to introduce myself, and pick up a script, if that’s alright.”
It took Luciana a moment to turn her attention away from Alexa. She was wearing a pair of tight jeans, along with a loose white blouse with frills along the bottom hem. She smiled at Ben and motioned for him to step over to her.
“Hmm…” Luciana slowly circled around him, running her eyes over his body. “Well, I think I just might be able to do something with you, indeed.”
From behind them, Alexa made an annoyed sounding noise and came a little bit closer.
"Have you ever done any acting before, Ben?”
He shook his head.
“So,” said Luciana. “That would make this your first time?”
She took a step closer to him, standing only a few inches away. She was a little shorter than Ben, but not by much, and met his eyes with an intensity that made the room feel superheated.
“Yeah,” said Ben. “First time.”
“Well then…” Luciana reached over to her chair and picked up the packet she’d been looking at. “Here’s the script.”
She pushed it against Ben’s chest, letting one of her fingers run across his shirt at the side. His mom made another impatient noise behind them.
“This is the one I was using for myself,” said Luciana. “It’s full of markings and scribbles already, my own personal thoughts.”
“Uh, okay,” said Ben.
“You can take it if you want, though,” she said. “And have it for yourself.”
Ben nodded slowly. For some reason, he found her words to be compelling, as though she was casting a spell over him.
“Is there anything else Ben needs to know?” asked Alexa, her voice stern.
“Auditions are tomorrow, Ben,” said Luciana. “You’re handsome enough that I think you could have whichever role you wanted, as long as you study your lines.”
“Seriously?” asked Ben.
“Well, you might have to suck up to me a little bit first,” whispered Luciana. Alexa stomped her foot, but Ben pretended not to notice.
“Right,” he said. “Okay. I’ll be here tomorrow, then.”
“I can’t wait to see what you have to offer Ben,” said Luciana. She glanced back at Alexa. “And it was nice seeing you, Alexa. You should consider what I said about helping out. We could always use another stage hand, or someone to check tickets at the door.”
Ben watched his mother seethe. She walked over to him, took his hand in a firm grip, and started pulling him up the aisle.
“Bye, Ben,” called Luciana. He wasn’t sure, but he thought he heard the sound of her blowing him a kiss.
CHAPTER 7
Alexa didn’t say anything to Ben, not even after they’d climbed back into her car. She pulled out of the theater’s driveway with aggressive turns. It reminded him a bit of how she’d reacted after they’d left Dr. Kim’s office.
“Uh, Mom,” he said. “What was that about?”
She let out a sigh and tapped her finger on the wheel before glancing over at him.
“I’m sorry, honey,” she said. “We went to school together. Luciana and I never got along very well.”
Ben raised an eyebrow.
“High school, you mean?” he asked.
“Yeah.”
“It’s been at least… a decade since then,” said Ben. He massively undercut his estimate, not wanting to fluster his mom anymore by making her feel old. “I would think that would be enough time for the two of you to cool off toward each other.”
“It’s complicated,” said his mom.
“How so?”
“I would rather not go into it,” she said.
Ben felt a bit of frustration prickling the back of his neck.
“No offense Mom, but that isn’t fair,” he said. “Whatever is going on between the two of you is now my problem, given that I’m auditioning, and she’s the director.”
“Well, she seemed to like you well enough,” she said, in a slightly catty voice.
>
“Mom, come on.”
Alexa sighed. She pulled into the driveway of their house, but didn’t immediately move to exit the car. Ben waited as she slowly brought her eyes up to meet his.
“We were rivals,” said his mother. “When it came to grades, theater productions, and even… boys.”
“Ah,” said Ben.
“I don’t know if I ever told you this, but your father and I went to the same high school, back before he left on his tour of duty. We dated for a while, when I was a freshman and he was a senior. And Luciana…”
Ben blinked, realizing what she was about to say.
“Seriously?”
“It was a huge scandal,” said his mom. “It went on for weeks, maybe even months, without me knowing. I broke up with your father when I found out, and eventually got the last laugh when I was cast as the lead in most of the school’s theater productions in the years after.”
“I guess you and dad eventually got back together,” said Ben.
“Obviously,” said Alexa. “But just because I forgave your father doesn’t mean I have, or will ever, forgive her.”
Ben nodded and didn’t say anything. His mom watched him with frustrated eyes, and he could understand what she was thinking.
“Look, I wasn’t sure about this theater thing at first,” he said. “But now… I think it’s a good idea. I want to do the audition, and the play, if I get a role.”
“I know, sweetie,” said his mom. “I don’t like Luciana, but I’ll keep my grudges to myself. You deserve to make up your own mind on this.”
“Thanks.” Ben thought for a second, and then looked at her again as she was moving to open the door of the car. “You know, you should consider trying out for a role. I get that Luciana isn’t your favorite person, but it sounds like you had a flair for theater, back in the day.”
His mother smiled sweetly at him.
“Thanks for saying so, honey,” she said. “But I think I’d prefer to stick to helping you with your lines.”
Ben flicked through the pages of the script as he followed her inside. True to what Luciana had said, comments were scribbled in the margins, doodles of different kinds of stage spacing were traced onto empty sections, and entire lines were crossed out in places. He wondered why she’d given it to him, instead of doing the logical thing and finding him a clean copy.
Natural Hormone Therapy (Taboo Erotica) (NHT Book 1) Page 3
