by Brill Harper
“You have a girl in there?”
“No.” “Yes,” we answer together.
“Sock on the door,” I explain to Shane.
He swings his head to Fletch. “Interesting.”
I take a deep breath. I’d like to say it is cleansing, but it really doesn’t do much for my state of mind. “Guys, I’m moving back to the dorm. I know we said we could be grown up about all this, but I am not cut out for this friends with benefits stuff. I can’t separate my feelings the way you guys can. It’s complicated enough to have the three of us doing stuff but bringing more people into it isn’t working for me.”
“So, don’t go out with Jones,” Shane says matter-of-factly. “Problem solved. Is there coffee yet?”
“It’s not just Jones.”
Shane smiles, showing his big, white teeth. “Really, little bit. Who else are you going for now?”
“I’m not talking about me. I’m talking about you guys. And,” I point to the door with no sock, “whoever is in there.”
“Nobody is in there,” Fletch says quietly.
“Whoever was in there then.”
“Nobody was in there.” He closes his eyes and rubs his temples. “I put the sock on the door to make you think someone was in there, but I was alone.”
“This just got interesting as fuck,” Shane says.
“Why would you want me to think someone was in your room with you? Why were you such a jerk to me yesterday? You’ve always been such a nice guy and then yesterday you just got so mean. I don’t understand why you’re pushing me away so hard. You could have just said—”
“I was jealous.”
“Told you.”
“Shut up, Shane.” I lower myself to the couch next to him. This is all too much to contemplate before even one single cup of coffee. To Fletch, I say, “You were jealous? Of me?”
“Yes.”
“But you told me to go out with Jones.”
“Yes.”
I bring my knees up and hug them to my chest. I wish I had a notebook. I feel like I could think this out better if I could write it down. “So, you didn’t want me to go out with him.”
“Told you,” Shane mutters under his breath.
Together, Fletch and I say, “Shut up, Shane.”
Which makes the three of us laugh, breaking some of the tension. Which is good. It’s not gone, but it’s less and I can breathe. And think. About how much I don’t understand. “In addition to sex, I think I have a lot to learn about guys in general.”
I hear Shane’s alarm clock go off in his room. “Fuck, I have an early class today.”
He gets up to go turn it off, and Fletch and I stare at each other.
“So, the friends with benefits thing isn’t working very well for you, either, I guess.”
He shakes his head. “It looks good on paper, but I don’t like the thought of some other guy touching you.”
“Except Shane.”
“Yeah. I know. It doesn’t make sense.”
It doesn’t. None of this does. I wish it didn’t have to. I wish I was the kind of person who could go with the flow and not have to understand how the mechanisms under the hood work. “Shane hooked up with some girl named Nina last night.”
“No, I didn’t.” Shane says from the doorway of his room.
“I saw you go upstairs with her at the party.”
“She was feeling sick. I made sure she could puke in peace and then made sure she got home safe. I had freshman orientation once too, Pen. You don’t leave girls who might pass out alone to fend for themselves at a party. Too many assholes.” He stops before going into the kitchen. “Were you jealous of me, too?”
I nod.
“Huh.” The intrigued expression on his face says he wasn’t expecting that.
Neither was I.
“I don’t want you to move, Penelope,” Fletch says.
“Talk loud so I can hear you. I need to start some java,” Shane yells from the kitchen.
Fletch sits next to me on the couch. “Just stay. Even if we stop the friends with benefits thing. Stay.”
“Fletch—”
Shane returns from the kitchen. “Why don’t we agree to not fuck anyone else while we figure this out?”
Fletch and I look at each other with twin surprised expressions. Shane is not exactly the monogamous kind. Though this isn’t exactly monogamy, is it?
“Geez, you guys. You act like I’m some kind of manslut.” He bows with a flourish. “Thank you. But aside from that, I’m serious. We don’t have to have a relationship with I love yous and shit. We can just fuck and hang out, and by not bringing anyone else into the mix, neither one of you will get all pissy. I really do hate it when you fight.”
“What if...”
“We’ll keep it open-ended,” Shane says. “if one of us wants to see someone else, we talk about the best way to end it without fighting and moving.”
“You guys are used to a different kind of ...girl. What if I’m not...enough?”
“The fact that we’re sitting here trying to convince you isn’t enough?” Fletch says. “Okay, superbrain, let’s try to appeal to your logic. First, we like you. You’re funny and smart and you have no idea how appealing you are. Second, it’s hot that you’re so into experimenting. This is new to us, too, threesomes.”
“Technically, I’ve had a threesome before,” Shane admits. “And it was nowhere near as hot as what the three of us have been up to.”
“When did you—?”
“Last year. Two girls. But it was kind of awkward and not nearly as sexy as I thought it would be. I think they are still together, though, so it wasn’t all for naught. Maybe they’ll have me do a toast at their wedding someday, since I was instrumental in getting them together.”
Sometimes, Shane is so very Shane.
“Why was it awkward?” I ask, curious now.
He shrugs. “I didn’t click with them, I guess. Chemistry was off. It’s just different with you guys.”
“And you’re okay with keeping it in your pants when we’re not home?” Fletch asks.
“I won’t have sex with anyone else, but I’m not committing to the three of us not doing the nasty outside the house. I’d like to take Velma to a dark theater sometime for starters.”
Oh, public sex. That might be interesting. Wait, what am I thinking? I’m supposed to be putting an end to this.
He leaves us with that thought and returns to the kitchen to procure caffeine.
Fletch puts his arm around me. “I’m sorry I was such a dick. Forgive me?”
“I hate it when we fight in front of Shane,” I say, and he laughs. “What about Jenna? I hate lying to her.”
“I’m not ready to tell my sister about my sex life. Do you think you can hold out?”
I nod and Fletch goes outside and retrieves my boxes, and Shane brings me a cup of coffee. They really are both very sweet when they want to be.
“So, we are keeping this just between us,” Shane says. “I heard you guys say you don’t want Jenna to know.”
“I hate lying to her. She’s my best friend.”
“Yeah, it would suck if I had to lie to Fletcher. Maybe you should tell her.”
I shake my head. “Not yet.”
It’s not like this will last for very long. We’ve barely just begun, and we’ve almost broken it off a couple times already.
But I keep thinking about Fletch being jealous. Of me. How crazy is that? Especially when I consider that he’s not in the least bit jealous of me being with Shane.
I curl into the corner of the couch and watch as Fletch does some pull-ups on the doorjamb and Shane ducks into the bathroom wearing his tighty-whities and a towel around his neck.
I do have a lot to learn about guys, and I start thinking maybe figuring them out is going to be even more fun than quadratic equations.
Chapter Six
THE WEATHER TURNED today. Autumn came overnight, and all day has been dark and gloomy. It
’s the kind of weather that drives you indoors, and when you have two totally hot roommates, being indoors is not a bad place to be. Just after dinner, the wind kicked up and brought hail and rain with it. I can’t even imagine how much it would suck to still live in that tiny room with Sami. Be trapped in there where it was spookier than the storm outside.
I just finish putting on my sleep cami and pajama pants when a gust of wind howls against my window, and then I hear a transformer pop down the street. The power lurches on and off a few times, and then everything goes dark.
This is the first time I’ve ever not been at my parents’ when the power goes out. The dark is unnerving. I hadn’t realized how, even at night, my chargers and laptop emit light. I blink a few times, wondering if my eyes will get used to it. Branches scrape across the side of the house, and I realize I’m kind of freaking the fuck out. Every scary movie I’ve ever seen begins this way. I find my phone in the blankets and use it as a flashlight to find my way out of my room. In the living room, Shane is lighting candles.
Everywhere.
“Wow,” I say, looking around. “This is amazing. Where are all these candles from?”
“It’s not our first rodeo, Velma. We lose power several times in the fall and winter. Fletch is grabbing the lanterns from the basement.” He hands me a flashlight. “You can have this one. But if you do anything interesting with the handle, I insist that you invite me to watch.”
“Eww.”
Fletcher brings a box into the living room with us and he lights a couple lanterns while Shane starts a fire in the woodstove. As the rain and wind lash against the windows outside, the house becomes safer and cozier. This sense of belonging and protection encloses me. Like here in this space, I’m safe and accepted.
“How often do we lose power?” I ask, not caring right now—but yikes, I wouldn’t want to be alone in this house during an outage.
Fletch shrugs. “It’s a little early for this, but not usually more than three or four times a year.”
I guess there will be no video games tonight. I’m thinking of suggesting we find the deck of cards in the junk drawer when Shane sits next to me on the couch. The same side he sat the night I gave them hand jobs.
We haven’t broached sex since Monday when we agreed, once again, to try to be adults. My mind goes to the way the smooth flesh of his cock felt in my hand that night. The way his cum was warm. The sounds he made.
He chuckles, and I think he’s reading my mind. “Gonna have to find something to occupy our time during this blackout,” Shane says. “Got any ideas, little bit?”
I do. I have lots of ideas. My panties get damp just thinking about the ideas I have. The things I want to try with Shane and Fletch. And the knowing look in his eye makes me bolder. “Well,” I begin, “my notebook is in the other room, but I think I can remember the next experiment I wanted to run.”
“Oh, yeah? What’s that?”
“Blow jobs.”
They both swing their heads in my direction. I stand up. “I’m going to need some help though. I need you both to teach me.”
“Oh, man, little sister, you’re like a dream come true,” Shane says. “What do you think, Fletch? You ready to give our girl another lesson?”
I feel his presence behind me, the hairs on my nape standing up and anticipating the swift change from Fletch the do-gooder to Fletch the dominant, sexy man who likes to take command. He lifts my chin with one finger, forcing me to look into his now-hard gaze. “Tell me you’re sure.”
I swallow thickly. “I’m sure.”
“We don’t go back from this. Not once you get our cocks in your mouth. That’s what you want, right? A mouthful of hard dick?”
I nod even as I tremble. He’s trying to push me. Make me shy and run back to my room from his dirty promises. But I’m not that shy anymore. Oh, I’m still awkward as hell, but I’m not shy. I don’t drop my gaze and mumble and blush the way he probably thinks I will. His gaze is hard, watching me for weakness, and I feel his power melt through me. I want to please him. I want to be good and I want to be naughty, and the desperate ache inside me says he’s going to make me be both.
“Get on your knees,” he says without blinking. “I’m going to teach you how to blow my best friend.”
Queue the quivering labia again.
Shane lifts his hips and pulls his sweats down in a quick move. “Fuck, yes. Teach her how to blow your best friend.”
Fletch pushes me down between Shane’s spread legs. I watch, fascinated, kneeling perfectly still, as Shane’s cock transforms right in front of my eyes. As it swells, it rolls across his abdomen to point upward toward his chest. His balls draw up closer to the base and the shaft is growing thicker and longer.
“See that, little bit. Just you looking at it makes me harder.”
I’m sort of mesmerized by the strong, masculine shaft as it pulses like a heartbeat.
Fletch is standing right behind me, his presence dominating Shane and me even though we’re the ones about to have at it. “Touch it, Penelope,” Fletch demands in that deep male voice that vibrates directly to my pussy whenever he uses it. “Touch his cock.”
I graze my fingertip down Shane’s shaft all the way to his balls and his dick twitches.
“Can you make it move, or does it do it by itself?” Even as I ask, I realize how nerdy I must sound. Even now, on my knees in front of a sexy man, I’m trying to intellectualize the process instead of just feeling the effects.
“Both,” Shane replies, humoring me. “I can make it move by squeezing muscles. But it also moves reflexively. Especially when it’s happy.”
“She’s about to make it happier,” Fletch says. “Aren’t you, baby?”
My heart begins to race. I twist my head to look up at Fletch. “What do I do?” I whisper timidly, my porn obsession temporarily erased from my memory, I guess. “Teach me, Fletch. Teach me how to please him.”
“Jesus, look at her. This is the hottest fucking moment of my life.” Shane runs a gentle hand through my hair.
Fletch has that authoritarian set in his jaw again. “Keep your eyes on Shane while you’re touching him. Start by teasing him.”
Shane groans when I make eye contact and run my hands along his muscular thighs, getting closer and closer to his jutting cock.
“You’re killing me softly, aren’t you? Your hands are so sweet and warm. They’re gonna look so small wrapped around my cock.”
I brush through his short pubic hair with my fingertips, keeping my eyes trained on his. When I slide my hands along his length, his cock jumps against my palms.
“I love the way you feel, Shane. Velvet over steel.”
My body starts to tingle and grow warm everywhere, my nerves getting replaced by an ache for more. More sensation. Fletch braces his hand on my shoulder firmly as I explore Shane’s cock. The other night, I didn’t take the time to notice the different textures, the deeper color of the bulb at the end, the weight of his balls when I cup them in my hand.
The way a glint of light catches on a droplet of pre-cum at the tip.
“Hold onto it with one hand,” Fletch instructs, so I wrap my hand around Shane firmly. “With your other hand, run your finger just around the top. Dip your finger in his pre-cum.”
I do as I’m told, and Shane’s breath comes faster, his cock straining in my hand.
“See that V-shaped spot, right in front of you?”
“The frenulum?” I ask.
Fletch chuckles. “Yeah, nerdy girl, the frenulum. It’s a magic triangle.”
“Magic?”
“Lick it with the tip of your tongue. Light flicks.”
I do and Shane groans in a lungful of air. Oh, I like this. My inhibitions are relaxing in direct proportion to the gathering moisture of my pussy.
“You ready to kiss that cock, Penelope?”
I nod and lean forward, buzzing with anticipation. I want him in my mouth. So much. I kiss my way up and down the shaft.
“Lick him. Lick that big meaty cock like a lollipop.”
I start at the base with the flat of my tongue and go slow up to the tip. Over and over. Shane is groaning, looking into my eyes, and Fletch’s grasp on my shoulder grows heavier.
“Are you having fun torturing him?” Fletch adds his other hand to my other shoulder and starts massaging me there. “He’s certainly having a good time. You like that mouth on you, Shane?”
“Fuck, yeah. Fuck. This is crazy.”
I look up and smile sheepishly at Fletch. “Am I doing it right?”
“You’re doing perfect, sweetheart. Let’s add your hands more. Move one up and down like the other night. You can vary your speed, but always keep your mouth on the tip. That’s it. Keep his dick wet, baby. You’re doing great. Such a good learner.”
I blush at the compliment and experiment with different speeds and pressure, focusing intently on the meaty, juicy cock in my face.
“Slow her down, Fletcher, or I’m gonna come too soon.”
Fletch combs his fingers through my hair, pulling it into a ponytail and wrapping it around his hand. “We can’t have him come yet, let’s try something else.”
“I want her to suck me, Fletch. Please. Please make her suck me.”
Later, when I’m analyzing this, I will search for clues as to when we started deferring to Fletch as our Dom like he’s some sort of Christian Grey. But it feels natural to let him have control. To let him direct us. To belong to this moment.
“Take him in your mouth since he asked so nicely.”
I feel the hot, pulsing cock in my hand and look at the glistening line of pre-cum that is shining a trail down the smooth, bulbous tip. The moment seems to hang for eternity. Shane is holding his breath like he’s on the edge of agony or anticipation.
I lean forward and press my tongue against the underside of Shane’s cock. I hold it there, embracing the emotions and sensations I feel as the three of us are fixated on my mouth and Shane’s dick. I slide my tongue, slowly, up Shane’s frenulum and over the smooth glans, to the tip of his erection. My pussy is clenching around air and my panties are so very wet.
I part my lips and take the cock wholeheartedly into my mouth and look up, straight into Shane’s eyes.
