by Ann Fisher
He bent his head to hear her whisper.
“I can’t let you go.” She closed the mage shackle around his wrist before he could pull away.
Lorel closed the door softly behind her and resisted the urge to lean her forehead against the sturdy wood. Her hand lingered on the latch. She wondered if she might not be better off on deck arguing with Dani about the Madalie than down here where Janek lay shackled to her bed. Steeling herself, she turned around.
For a moment, she could only stare. He looked enormous on her small bed. His shirt was badly torn, leaving most of his chest bare. He was covered with old scars, but she saw no fresh wounds. He’d told her once that the idiot women of the capital were repulsed by his body—by his size, his strength, and his scars. She couldn’t comprehend it.
“I’ve never been the trusting sort,” he said. “And yet here I am deceived by you again. How do you keep managing it?”
She finally met his gaze. The warmth in his blue eyes took all of the sting out of the rebuke. “You know who I am and where I stand. Where’s the deception in that? Besides, as I remember it, the last time around I was the one tied to your bed.”
A complicated expression crossed his face. Regret? She couldn’t be sure. And what did it matter if it was?
She crossed the room and carefully placed the spyglass its velvet-lined box atop the table before turning to face him. “Do we need to worry about the Order returning?”
“If they survived the storm, their ships will be in much the same shape as the Madalie. It will take time for them to regroup and make any necessary repairs.”
She nodded, trusting his judgement. “But they will come back. What did you do to anger them so?”
The corner of his mouth turned in a crooked smile. “You know what I am, Lorel. My very existence enrages the Archmage.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Enough to send three ships to hunt you down?”
“Apparently so.”
“Trouble does seem to follow you.” She moved closer to the bed, drawn to him just as she’d always been. “I noticed that the boy is still with you, your faithful servant. Kamar?” Lorel had been surprised to see him mixed in with the crew. Kamar was not a boy any longer. The last year had hardened him. None of the other men had been familiar to her. “Wouldn’t it be safer to leave him behind?”
“Undoubtedly. If he would only stay where I put him.”
She smiled at his scowl. She should probably be terrified by it. Even bound, Janek was a formidable opponent.
“I’m certain the world would be a more peaceful place if people would only do as you say. So thinks every Ghadrian.”
He growled low in his throat, telling her without words exactly what he thought about that statement. The sound shivered through her.
“I sympathize with Kamar,” she told him. “I’m still angry with you for leaving me behind.”
He shook his head. “You wouldn’t have wanted to be anywhere near me this past year. You were safer on Erys. I did miss you though.” His gaze softened. “You probably think I’m a fool for saying that as I was the one who left you, but I did miss you.”
“Good.”
Because they had very little time. She was supposed to be down here questioning Janek while Dani dealt with getting the crew of the Madalie settled into the hold. This might be the only time she had alone with Janek, and she didn’t intend to waste it.
She sat down on the edge of the bed to tug off her boots, and then quickly—before she lost courage—removed her leggings too.
Janek went utterly still. Tossing her leather vest atop the pile, she paused, fingering the hem of her linen shirt. As much as she wanted to feel his skin against her, the shirt would have to stay. Her body had changed with childbirth. Even months later, even with the weight she’d lost, she’d come to accept that it would never be as it once was.
She hoped… Well, Cinn had urged her to take Reni for a lover at the last port, joking that he had the smallest cock she’d ever encountered. Judging by the swell at the front of Janek’s breeches, he was every bit as large as she remembered. This might hurt, but it didn’t stop her from wanting to try.
“Lorel,” Janek said softly. “What are you doing?”
She stopped with one knee on the bed beside his hip, preparing to mount him. “If you don’t want this, tell me no. I won’t force you to do anything you don’t want to do.”
She stopped long enough for him to reject her. When he didn’t, she climbed onto the bed to straddle his waist. He was still fully dressed and that would be a problem. She supposed she could have ordered Kenna to strip him before tying him down. But, no, Lorel didn’t want to share him with anyone else.
Reaching over the side of the bed for her boot, she drew her knife from its sheath then pulled at his hip to right herself. When Janek saw the knife, his smile faded and whatever words he’d been about to say died on his lips. She knew too well how it felt to be tied and helpless while someone stood above you with a sharpened blade, and she didn’t let him stew.
“Your shirt,” she said. “It’s already torn. There’s no saving it. I’m going to get it off you.”
Knees planted to either side of his waist, she sliced his shirt open from hem to neck and placed the knife on the shelf beside the bed.
“I would have removed it,” he said. “All you had to do is ask. My breeches?”
“We’ll have to keep those intact. There are very few men aboard ship and none of them are your size.”
She pressed her fingertips to his chest, above his heart, and then slid her fingers over the ridged muscles of his abdomen to the lacing at the front of his breeches. She fumbled the knot and blew out a frustrated curse.
He pulled at the rope binding his wrists. “Cut me free, Lorel. You know I won’t hurt you. I promise you will enjoy this more if I have the use of my hands.”
She didn’t believe that promise. If he had the use of his hands, he’d realize within seconds that her body was not the same and that would ruin everything.
The ties of his breeches gave way and his cock fell into her hand. She fisted her hand at the base of his shaft and stroked to the top. He shivered beneath her touch, his hips arching from the bed.
She adjusted her body so they fit together more comfortably and flicked her tongue over his nipple. He tasted like sea salt, but then she probably did too. They’d both nearly drowned in it today. She’d spent years not knowing whether he lived or died, thinking she’d never see him again. And then at the moment she found him, he’d almost slipped right through her fingers.
He was here. He was alive.
She traced the thin scar that slashed across the ribs on the right side of his body, reacquainting herself with the shape and feel of his body. He fell silent, the cadence of his breathing letting her know how she affected him.
“Lorel... We should talk.”
She shook her head. “Once we start talking we’ll be enemies again. I don’t want that.”
“We don’t have to be enemies,” he said. “It doesn’t have to be that way.”
But it would be. Whatever his quarrel with the Order, Janek was still a servant of the empire.
She leaned over him. Their breath mingled. She traced Janek’s lower lip with her thumb and applied just enough pressure to open his mouth. He let her in and she kissed him, touching his teeth and tongue, slowly stroking deeper into the warm recesses of his mouth. His erection swelled beneath her belly. She adjusted her hips and rocked against it, encouraging him.
She pulled back enough to look him in the eyes. “Janek, I—”
The door to the cabin swung open, hitting the cabinet and bouncing. The knife was in Lorel’s hand and she was half off the bed before she realized who it was.
Dani grinned, her gaze lifting from Janek’s strapped body, to the knife in Lorel’s hand. “Now this is more like it. Questioning our prisoner, Captain? Personally, I didn’t think you had it in you.”
“Captain?” Janek asked sh
arply, his eyes narrowed.
“It’s temporary,” Lorel turned, placing herself between Janek and Dani. “What’s the matter?”
Dani leaned back against the door, casually crossing her arms. “Nothing. I only thought you might need help, but it looks like you have everything under control.” She tipped her head to one side. “Reni would have been easier. Are you sure you don’t want me to, ah…question this one?”
Lorel scowled at the girl, but Dani only smirked. “I really just wanted to meet Conri’s—”
“Say it and lose your tongue.”
“Ah.” Dani’s bright eyes narrowed, and Lorel had to lock her muscles to keep herself steady. She’d watched Dani needle Cinn for the last year and a half. She knew better to give the girl a weapon to use against her. Dani’s smile was slow and dangerous. “I see how it is. I simply came to remind you that we need him alive. Kenna says not to kill him yet.”
“Have the other ships returned?”
“Not yet, but she had a premonition.” Not a big believer in Kenna’s less tangible talents, Dani waved a dismissive hand as she crossed the room. She circled Lorel, keeping as much distance as possible between them in the small space. Lorel still had the knife in her hand, and Dani had, after all, been raised among pirates. When she could see Janek’s face, Dani asked, “Why do they want you dead? You’re a man of high rank within the empire. Why do they hunt you?”
“The new emperor is killing off anyone he thinks might be a threat.”
“And you’re a threat?”
“Not to you.”
Dani laughed, a bright sound that didn’t mean anything. Lorel had heard Dani laugh like that right before gutting a man. To Lorel, she said, “We could make a fortune in ransom off this one.”
“No.”
“Why not? You can’t have any loyalty to him. He left you behind with—”
“I’m not handing anyone over until we know what’s going on. Now leave us so I can find out.” When Dani hesitated, Lorel said, “Whatever punishment your mother thought she was doling out by placing me in charge of this run, we both know the Raven is your ship. I won’t place her at risk without you having a say in the decision.”
Dani nodded. “We can’t remain here long, and we need to make a decision about the Madalie.”
“Is it salvageable?”
“Aye.” Dani’s fine brows drew together. “The foremast is stable though we need to repair the sails. I can get her moving, but it will take time and she’ll be slow. We could put in at Rinat for repairs.”
“You can’t,” Janek said. “The Order will have men in Rinat looking for the Madalie. Your best chance is to sink the ship and hope they believe there were no survivors.”
Dani crossed her arms. “We’re not taking orders from a prisoner.”
Janek’s mouth quirked. “I have a vested interest in your survival and a better knowledge of how the Order operates than you do, child.”
If he’d been closer, Lorel would have kicked him. Child? Did he want to die? Dani took a step in his direction, but Lorel blocked her.
“Sink the ship,” Lorel said, making the decision.
Dani scowled. “And flee back to Erys like cowards? That ship—”
“We can’t take the time to repair it. Not with the Order nipping at our heels. Down the ship and set us on a course for the straits.”
She thought Dani would argue again, but after a moment she gave a sharp nod. “For home then.”
Feeling suddenly tired, Lorel rubbed at her forehead. She’d only wanted a few minutes alone with Janek. To shove all of this aside and pretend that there weren’t decisions to be made. Dani had to go and screw everything up. Tomorrow she’d put a lock on the door. “Wait a minute. We can’t lead them home. Sail west, but make for Rinat. Buy us time so I can question the prisoners.”
Dani frowned. “Will you believe anything you get out of this one? I say we start with one of the younger ones. That boy you set aside.”
“Leave him alone.”
Some people might have taken Dani’s slight smile for agreement, but Lorel knew her better. “Dani.”
Dani’s jaw set, and Lorel adjusted her grip on the leather wrapped hilt. Damn Cinn and her games. She’d set this all up to force Dani’s hand. Sink or swim. Cinn couldn’t just hand Dani the fucking ship. No, of course not. Her pride wouldn’t allow it. To earn the respect of the crew, Dani needed to claim the Raven—forcefully and mercilessly. Just, please the spirits, not on this run.
“Fine,” Dani growled, pacing toward the door. “Go ahead and question this one first. Question the hell out of him. I’ll be on deck awaiting your orders.”
Dani left and Lorel stared at the closed door for several minutes before turning to face Janek.
“Is she your kin?”
“Of a sort.” Lorel set the knife down on the table and sat beside him on the bed, taking solace in having him so close. “How did you guess that? Don’t tell me there’s a resemblance. We’re not blood related.”
“The look in her eyes. The way she speaks to you. The way you let her speak to you. She thinks she should be captain?”
“She should be captain. I’m funding the run, but the ship is hers, or will be. Her mother put me in charge to piss her off and it’s working. The problem is that Cinn’s all the way back on Erys and I’m right here to bear the brunt of Dani’s displeasure. She’d rather be raiding ships than trading goods. We transported wool, whiskey and smoked salmon to Cassar and we’re bringing oil and wine back. I paid good coin for the load and that hurts Dani’s professional pride.”
Janek considered that for a moment. “This is what you’ve been doing with the coin I gave to you?”
She smiled in grim amusement. “Funny how the world turns, isn’t it? You’re funding your own rescue.”
“And the rebellion too, I imagine.” He narrowed his eyes in mild accusation. When she held her tongue, he sighed. “I left you behind on Erys so you’d be safe and you ran back to the Raven.”
“The Raven is a merchant ship like any other. We’re not engaged in piracy. I made that a condition of my investment.”
He snorted. “Cinn’s punishing you too.”
Perhaps. The idea had occurred to her. Trust Janek to see it so quickly. He’d always had a way of cutting to the heart of the matter, of knowing things that he shouldn’t. She rubbed her damp hands on her thighs. “We need money to build a fleet to defend the island. I’d rather raise that money through honest trade. Cinn has other ideas.”
Janek shook his head. “A spy with scruples.”
“I’m not a spy any longer,” she stood, paced across the room to pour a glass of the very fine wine they were hauling.
He glanced down at his cock, still impressive only half firm, laying in its nest of dark hair. “I suppose this means you’ve reconsidered the interrogation.”
She looked out the porthole at the gathering dark. “I don’t… That was a very bad idea. I’ve come to my senses.”
“I think it was an excellent idea.”
She snorted. “Because you hope I’ll fall for you again and let you go.”
“Just because it’s the thing I want most in the world doesn’t make it a bad strategy.” His smile faltered a bit. “Did you truly fall for me?”
She didn’t answer. He had to know. She wouldn’t have continued to sleep with him even after she was caught if she hadn’t fallen for him. She’d come so close to begging him to stay. Begging a Ghadrian. The only thing that had stopped her was the certainty that he’d say no.
Downing the wine, she set the cup aside and moved to stand over him. For decency’s sake, she should cover him with a blanket, but she couldn’t quite make herself reach for one.
“What am I to do with you?”
She didn’t realize she’d spoken the thought aloud until he answered. “You could drop me and the crew off at the nearest cove and let us fend for ourselves.”
“That would likely end better for you than me.
There’s a good chance the Order will pursue us if only to find out where we dumped you. As much as I like you, Janek…”
“You might need to barter me for the lives of your crew?” He nodded, accepting that. “Run us south to Asara then. I have friends there, and I’ll be able to pay you for the trouble.”
“You need to hide that badly?”
“It appears so.”
“What of Erys?” she asked softly. “You could always return with us to Erys.”
She thought of Conri and her cottage there. The life she was trying to build for them. With his powers, Janek could help them. Help her, Conri, and the rebellion too.
Janek dismissed it with a shake of his head. “Erys is too small. Too vulnerable. The people of Asara have been fighting Ghadria for generations. The Asaran Red Guard is trained in warfare. Demir won’t attack them lightly. I meant it when I said I want to see you safe. I won’t bring that kind of trouble upon your kin.”
Her kin. She should tell him about Conri, but she didn’t know how to start that conversation. She also didn’t know if the truth would place Conri in danger. Janek would understand that impulse, to protect a child. After all, hadn’t that been what he was doing when she met him? Maybe it was a kindness not to tell him.
Maybe I’m a weak-kneed coward.
“I can’t release you,” she said. “Unbound, you could take this ship and dump us on the nearest rock. You could slaughter us all.”
His blue eyes were direct and sincere. “I wouldn’t do that. You can trust me that far can’t you, Lorel?”
She wanted to. If it were just her life at stake, she would lay it in his hands just to test the truth of his words. “I don’t know.”
He dropped his head back to the mattress as if she’d wounded him. Guilt swamped her, but she stood firm in her decision. She couldn’t forget that this man knew exactly how to play her.
She turned again for the bottle when Kenna opened the door, her eyes wide with distress.
“Captain,” she said breathlessly. “You need to come quick. Eamon’s spotted a strange sail on the horizon.”
