Thor shrugged. "He's just focused."
I sighed and stared at the other man. Something ate at him and it was new. He hadn't looked this way yesterday. "Then you don't know?"
His hand covered mine and a spark ran down my body. "I don't."
I scooted closer to his ear and whispered, "Was that hard for you?"
Our gallop became more of a trot. "What?"
I again leaned forward to ensure that he heard me through his helmet. "Admitting you don't know everything? I thought kings were decisive."
A crackle of laughter escaped his lips as he drove the horse further along. "I thought queens listened better."
He had been nice to me since the beginning. Morgana had been the opposite. I shifted in my seat behind him. He kept my hands around his waist. "I've met your sister, who you've known longer than me. Did she ever listen to you?"
He walked the horse as they made it to the crossroads. "I haven't really known her that much longer than you."
At least he wasn't completely ruined by his mean sister. My cheeks pricked with heat. Merlin charged ahead and spoke to one of the scouts. "But she's your sister."
As we passed the crossroads, Thor trotted the horse again. I wondered if he was waiting for information before racing full out. "Morgana and I aren't close. We met the day I left Rex's castle with Excalibur, and then she lived on her own."
He was thirteen when he left London. In seven years he’d built Avalon and organized a kingdom. The next five he’d waged war where he promised freedom. His shoulders carried everyone he ever come in contact with, even me. He turned his head and I could see his profile and his blue eyes through one of the slits in his helmet. He waited for someone or something, but his gaze was clear. I was mesmerized until I glanced away. "When did she come to the castle?"
"The day after your father spoke to me in open court."
"So it's been years since you saw her last?"
His nod seemed earnest. I hoped in time I could trust him. He loosened his chin strap. "I was busy setting up a rebellion, though at thirteen I was just a scared kid. My sister lived near a lake."
I blinked. A lake was not safe if no one else was there. "She grew up in nature and not your fortress? Why not with you?"
Thor directed his horse to the right. I didn't see anything there. "Merlin thought it best to train me and show me how my blood test could help save the country. Morgana didn't agree that I should be so visible and fight for change."
"So she stayed away, even though Avalon has grown into a huge town? With a castle, which is safer than a lake?"
"The castle and town were already started before I was ever born. Merlin was in charge of it when he found me."
Merlin called out something to one of the men. Thor must have known his friend was close. He shifted his attention for a moment. Then he spoke and I stared at his full lower lip in his profile as he said, "I have no idea where she came from exactly. She moved into my fortress permanently the other day when I received your blood tests that said you were to be the queen. I left to go find you and your father."
I shook off whatever I was feeling and gazed at his massive shoulder. His birth had changed all of England. I couldn't be the cause of even more bloodshed. "Why didn't you visit or try to meet with your sister? I'd have moved in with family, to protect them if I could."
He swallowed. "I sent emissaries, but she never listened. She was slightly older and always thought she knew best."
I closed my eyes and asked the obvious. It was better to be sure than to blindly assume. "Do you think Rex's men took her?"
He nodded his head and didn't say 'of course, who else?' I probably would have if the situation was reversed. Thor was a good guy. "We were followed into the forest the day I came to collect you. Rex cannot allow me to possess both queens while he has none."
The fire in my blood boiled again. "You do not possess me."
He shifted back like he didn't want to set me off. "For Rex, and others, the blood test determines your place in society. It's why many people followed a young boy."
I unwrapped my arm from him and crossed them at my waist. "You do not possess me."
He bounced in his seat which caused me to jiggle. "You sure do like to argue with me."
"Because you annoy me." He made me feel something. The pit in my stomach rumbled but it wasn't for any hunger I ever felt, not that I'd tell him anything.
Merlin approached us. We settled back in our seats ready to gallop the second we had a direction. Thor straightened his back. I wrapped my arms around him again as Thor asked, "Which way now?"
On his black horse, Merlin pointed behind him. "The fastest way to the river is down the center path."
Thor turned our trot into a full gallop. I shouted to ensure he heard me. "No. Go left. If Rex's men have ships, this is the best way."
Merlin rode beside us now. He said nothing, but Thor's hand covered mine as he said, "There is no road to the left."
I knew these woods. "Exactly. We can overtake them with surprise. I know the way."
Thor pointed Merlin and his men to the left and galloped forward.
"Please trust me." I tapped my left finger against his shoulder and he went left, and when I tapped my right thumb, we moved right.
This silent signal let the men think he told them where to go. As they climbed a small hill, he whispered, "I must be crazy for listening to you."
I rested my head against his metallic suit of armor. It wasn't cold, but warmed from the ride and the afternoon sun. My fingers ached to trace his breast plate. I didn't, but the wish overwhelmed me. Truly I hadn't expected to ever speak to Thor, never mind wish to stay in his company. He possessed the face of an angel, but had the body of a warrior. There was so much I wanted to know about him. "Wasn't there some big battle you were training for against Rex? Would he take your sister there?"
"No. He'd want to keep her in the safest place he'd know and that's London. He forgets we grew up there and know his city, probably better than him." I signaled for us to go right. "Besides, Sir Wain is a capable general. I think the battle between our soldiers was to distract me so he could steal you," Thor explained.
"What battle?"
"The one my soldiers were fighting near London."
"I didn't know about that."
My heart beat harder in my chest. I closed my eyes, unable to imagine myself in London. The stories people told of the capital created nightmares as a child. "But Rex took Morgana, not me."
Thor didn't say anything as we rushed down a hill. We'd be back toward the road and the clearing for the river soon. As we raced, he said, "I think Rex would prefer you over Morgana as the queen of London. Taking her was desperate."
I didn't want to think about that. My mother had turned white every time one of the poor folk at our compound shared stories about the palace and Rex's cruelty. She had been born there, but then so had Thor. Perhaps our families had known each other. "Thor, my mother... You told me my father didn't say anything. What do you know about her?"
He slowed his horse as he stared at a clearing. The mist of the forest was so thick it was hard to see anything. "I shouldn't tell you, here. We have to find my sister."
Now I knew there was something. I clutched him harder. He had to tell me. "What?"
Out of the shadows, figures of men on horseback became visible and the noises of his soldiers blasted in my ear. Thor led his horse towards his people. I shouldn't pester him right now. He shook his head, like he would tell me the same thing, but then pointed for Merlin to lead the initial charge to the clearing. "If she didn't tell you, it's not my place."
As we waited, I realized battle might happen at any second. Ths mist grew less as we went away from the river. I only had this one moment, "She is dead. She can't tell me."
The knights all converged together, but nothing stirred in the forest. He patted my hand. The silence of the distance felt like drums against my ears. We had to go. Thor grunted at someone and then
said to me, "Then let's drop the subject for now. We'll find Morgana and when we're sitting down, peaceful and relaxed, I'll answer your questions then."
At least he hadn't said no. I nodded my head. "I can live with that."
Thor was an honorable man, like my father. He kept his word or tried to. I respected that about him, but there was so much I didn't know. My mind should be focused on that and not the stirrings of my heart.
Chapter 10
Sand flew into my eyes as the king's horses raced across the beach. The ships waited on the shore, so my shortcut had helped. I buried my face in Thor's back to block the blasts from the ship's cannons. We charged ahead at lightning speed.
Thor had to free his sister, and I refused to slow him down. I kept my head lowered; my squeals to a minimum. As we thundered closer, I peeked over Thor's shoulder. Near the ship, Merlin and the other knights were in full chase of the two men who'd taken Morgana. I swallowed and realized that if we had made it here two minutes earlier, we would have caught them. I shouldn't have talked so much.
The sand burned my eyes so I lowered my whole body fast.
The lone ship had sailors, archers and cannons. The ship's flag matched my amulet. Our odds weren't good. This would end badly, perhaps like whatever our ancestors did to burn the ruins.
I flinched as cannon roared, but I held Thor's back. Then I clenched my jaw. I'd not go down without a fight. Easy to say when Thor sat in front of me with Excalibur drawn.
Chaus failed to set a fire as we approached him near a small natural trench of the shore. We had left him back in Avalon, but Thor didn't question how he was here.
Thor stopped. "Aim at the ship so we can get Morgana off in the chaos. We need to shoot the ship and get my sister before it sails away."
Chaus' voice squeaked and his shoulders sagged. "I can't get the flame to stay. The beach is too wet."
Driftwood doesn't burn. Thor was about to say something, but I stared at my destroyed dress. "We can use part of this fabric."
I had that silk nightgown underneath, so I'd not be naked. It was longer than my homespun sheath I wore in the forest. I lifted my butt to free the heavy material of the blue gown, but Thor turned around and placed his hand on mine. "We cannot strip you to save Morgana."
The pain in my chest would grow if I didn't help him. I shook my head. "I have a slip on and I will stay behind you. Douse this dress with the oil so we can shoot the ship."
Thor held his horse and shield steady. Arrows flew in the air around us as I pulled the ragged dress over my head. "Stay against my back the entire time," he said.
I threw the remnant at Chaus who had his face buried behind the natural barricade. He picked up the puffy dress and doused it in oil. My purple slip was much lighter, and I could breathe easier. I poked Thor to go as Chaus used it to start a flame. Thor nodded at Chaus, who then catapulted a fire bolt to the other end of the beach.
Thor's horse stepped into the barricade as he yelled, "Cover your head."
I screamed and ducked into Thor's side as the ship blew up.
The explosion rang so loud in my ears that my brain began to rumble.
A second later, I ran my hand through my hair and checked my skin for burns. All parts of me seemed to work as they should. We should have been here sooner. Arguing with him had been a mistake. I swayed but held his chest to hold on, but I couldn't bring myself to ask how he must feel. His sister was gone and it was my fault.
Thor stared at Chaus in the barricade. Thor's voice dropped to a low baritone. "Nothing could have survived that." He paused, stunned. "Morgana must have perished."
Chaus sounded like he'd cry. "The fire wasn't big enough to destroy the entire vessel, sire."
I didn't know how to help a man if he cried, not that Thor did. I knew I'd be incapable of helping and the thought made me fall apart. In the corner of my eye, I saw something. Then I pointed, "Merlin is climbing aboard the wreck."
Thor took my hand and lowered me off his horse and into the barricade. "Stay with Chaus."
I didn't want to argue. He needed to find his sister. If it was Jax or Cyna and I had a chance to save them, I'd throw anyone over to get to them.
"Absolutely." As he stormed down the beach, I came next to Chaus. The boy knew how to shoot a fireball. Chaus said nothing to me, and turned red if I stepped too close. My satin shoes felt the sand shift underneath me like I wasn't wearing shoes at all. I crossed my arms. "Chaus, we're going to have to learn to communicate."
He loaded up the cannon. "It never worked like that before."
I followed him and picked up cinders to help. "What happened to Nel?" He avoided my gaze. I hoped the boy would talk so I tried again. "Please? She's my friend."
No answer. He poked his head above the barricade and stared at the ship. I jumped up but couldn't see anything, so I rubbed my shoulder next to Chaus to get his attention. "Can you see what is happening to Thor?"
Red-faced he closed his eyes and squeaked, "He's dragged Merlin off the ship. I left the pretty woman you were with inside the castle walls."
Thank goodness. Thor was strong and alive. Nel must be hardy and well. I focused on that. I closed my eyes and rocked on my feet. Time seemed to stand still. The sun moved closer to setting and nothing happened on the beach. Then as the sun was getting ready to set, my skin prickled. I coughed as my adrenaline quickened. "What's happening now, Chaus? I can't see. Is Thor moving?"
Goose bumps covered my arms as I imagined all the things that could go wrong.
Thor's voice commanded the air around her. "I'm here. Get back on."
I reached up toward his strong hand. One of his arms is enough to lift me back on the horse. I straightened myself out and asked, "What happened?"
Thor took off down the beach, Merlin right behind us. "No one was on the ship," he said. "It was a mirage."
Did he mean magic? I wasn't sure what a mirage might be.
Thor galloped into the forest and I clung to him, my body trembling. My insides quaked from the fast ride, but I had to ask the obvious question. "Did you find any clues about your sister?"
"No. It was a dead end. I knew something was wrong in how the blast happened."
I rested my face on his shoulder, wishing I could make this better for him. The day my mother and sisters died, I'd been hollow inside. I hadn't cried though everyone had expected me too. Instead I'd picked up a spoon and went to work in the kitchen. "I'm so sorry."
I didn't know what else to say.
"Let it go."
No. The answer wasn't to be strong in times like this. I didn't have to be dead and unfeeling. How I reacted with my father and how we never saw each other cry, even at the memorial we held, none of that had felt good. Thor didn't need to be alone. I ran my hand over his cold, steel suit of armor. "I truly am sorry."
Dusk settled in the sky. "Why?"
I reached down and stroked his arm and brushed my hands on his gauntlet. If I could have removed it, I’d have held his hand.
He'd asked in such a low voice that I almost hadn't heard him. My body was so sore, but I loved this feeling of being alive near him. I lifted myself back toward his ear. "Because I don't want you hurt."
As we galloped, I put my arms around him and he held my hands. Again my stomach was fluttering like a firefly near a campfire. "Then promise to stay where it's safe."
He must have been thinking about Morgana. She had gone outside the fortress and made herself the spectacle. I'd have been in danger too, if Nel hadn't stopped me from following Morgana.
If there was any way I might save people from war then I had to try. No one should leave the forest afraid every moment that some king might kill them in their sleep. Thor would never do that. I decided right then that I wouldn't run if staying was best for everyone else. "I will do my best."
For a long time I didn't speak, but as the white-stoned walls became bigger as we approached, I started to ask him what the symbols on his face represented. "Are you..."
He cut me off as his body stiffened. "I don't want to talk anymore tonight, Gwen."
Talking had not stalled us from Morgana. Nothing could have saved her. Merlin removed his helmet as they passed the gate. So did Thor. His thick blond hair mesmerized me and I reached out to tighten my embrace. "Thor, if you ever do wish to talk, I'm here."
He rode me to the front gate and helped me dismount. "Thanks."
I stood there as he rode his horse to the side of the castle.
Nel joined and covered me with a deep blue robe so no one would see my nightgown. I turned and followed her inside the living quarters. Tonight, I'd see Thor without his battle gear.
Tonight, he'd see me too. In castles there were important dinners and I'd find out where he would be. He had to eat. If I could ease his pain, then I would. No one should ever lose the little family they have in this mess called life.
Chapter 11
I hurried through my bath, choosing a hunter green dress with shorter sleeves and slightly less poof for my arms. The moon was climbing into the night the sky outside my window. "I am nervous."
"It's just dinner, my lady," Nel said.
No, it wasn't just dinner. It was so much more. I couldn't wait to see Thor without his sword and helmet and armor. His half naked chest and perfectly sculpted body was something I had never seen before. I rubbed my hands together. I'd not see him naked in the hall either. I worried that people in the fortress probably ate differently with customs than I. I had no idea how to be a queen. And all of this might just be in my head, so I closed my eyes and remembered Thor's clear blue eyes. I didn't want to make a fool of myself. "Dinner, with Thor."
Nel found my long amulet and clasped it around my neck. "He changed his plans to stay the night in the fortress."
I smiled and my face heated. The gold on the green dress almost shone. I clutched the only thing of my mother's I had to try to stop how I swayed on my feet. Will Thor look as good as I imagine? Perhaps he too shined if he was cleaned up and out of the armor. "He did?"
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