Nel didn't tell the whole truth. She didn't walk past all those faces of people with their noses in the air. "Don't try to appease me. Other than Thor, no one even looks at me."
Nel patted me on the shoulder like she could massage away the hurt feelings. She calmed me and my body wasn't nearly so tense. "Give them time. Let them see who you are."
From the whispered words about me from Merlin to Thor and Nel's guarded answers, I knew there was something about me that made people afraid. She finished with the last lace and I turned around to stare into her brown eyes. "Who am I?"
Nel smiled though her lips stayed pressed together. "Not what everyone fears, that's for sure."
I raised my gaze to stare at the plain white ceiling and steady myself. "You speak in riddles. What is it people fear about me?"
Nel collected the dress as I stepped out of it, as was her job. Perhaps she was only nice to me so I'd cooperate. If so then I was wrong about us being friends. A sigh escaped my lips, until she said, "That you were to choose Rex and his people over us, and that you are here to plot against Thor."
My mouth opened and wouldn't close. For a second I couldn't even breathe. I would never help Rex murder people. My entire body cooled down. "That's insane."
Nel waved my dress in the air and then hung it. Without a breath, next, she found my nightgown in the small room. "I agree, but I know you."
I sat on the bed and tried to make sense of why anyone might believe I'd pick Rex in this war. He murdered my mother and my father. Of course, I had said that I doubted Thor too. That must be why they hated me.
Nel laid the nightgown next to me on the bed. I grabbed her hand and held it. "Do people really believe that about me? That I will betray Thor?"
She petted my hand and took hers back. "Yes. Just give them time."
I shouldn't ever accuse Thor of wrong-doing in public again. I'd never betray him. The idea was so foreign to me. Everything here was. Nothing made sense, and everything was upside down.
Changing the topic, I stood up and asked, "How does Thor have talking rocks and monitors with view screens? I thought only those in London still had these things, but that they were falling apart."
Nel began to help me out of the underdress. At least I hadn't ruined this outfit. The second she released my waist, I breathed easier.
"We don't have the same equipment as London," she explained. "Merlin has a team of scientists, and a search party to find safe relics."
Scientists are people who fiddle with unnatural things that bring nothing but death. Merlin rode like a knight, but also spent time with electronics. No one she ever knew did both things. He was a strange person. "What do they do?"
Nel lowered her gaze. "They mostly recon in the burned sectors and then try to recreate what they find. Once in a while they find a treasure trove they bring to Avalon."
They had to stop wanting unnecessary things that might kill us all. The poison spread to healthy people despite the passage of time. There was no good reason to return to some lost society. "So all these are relics from before?"
Nel held the night slip over my head for me to slide my hands in. "Yes."
I uncrossed my hands and did as she requested. "And Thor's not worried we'll all die from touching them?"
Nel then picked up the bottom to ensure the soft, gray night dress was even on the ground. "The diseased fires were long ago, my lady."
I rubbed my face. They were all crazy. My mother's tears as she spoke about the deaths she had witnessed were raw with regrets. "Avoiding those places is the only way to be sure we're healthy."
Nel stood back up and tied a ribbon that was part of my nightgown onto my elbow. No one would unwrap me tonight as if I was a present. Thor intended to leave now instead of in the morning. Nel said, "If we don't find a way to reproduce what London has, then we cannot beat Rex."
Outside my window I see night dawning. The men would leave soon. "You believe in Thor, don't you?"
Nel froze, closed her eyes and chose her words. "I have every reason to and no reason not to."
Me too was my first thought though I kept that to myself. "Explain, please."
Nel rubbed the side of her face and shook her head like I asked her something stupid. "If Thor is the true king and not Rex, then I have a choice in my life. I can make decisions and ensure my life or that of any future children I have is one of freedom, education, and a chance to be more than what I was allowed in London."
My father would have liked Nel. They held the same opinion though they differed in solutions. "You grew up in the city then?"
Nel picked up the dress again. "Until I was a teenager and my parents found a way to escape."
If I am to follow Thor, then I need to ask her one more question. "Nel, where do the soldiers leave from?"
Nel stopped her fussing with the dress. "The West Gate. Do you need to see Thor? I can go get him for you."
She needed to leave now so I could find my way there before he left. I walked her toward the door. "No, thank you. Would you help me find a simple dress and not something of Morgana's for tomorrow?"
Nel clutched the green gown to her chest. "Why?"
I licked my lips. I should be better at making up a story. "What I wear reminds people of her."
"She wasn't here that long."
"She has her acolytes in our midst."
Nel opened the door. My heart raced with apprehension. "The dress makers will be here in the afternoon. If you don't plan on leaving the fortress, you can wear a priestess robe until you're proper."
Priestess reminded me of that spectacle the other day with Morgana in the middle of the field as everyone wore white and acted like she'd been heaven sent. "The white dresses everyone wore?"
Nel turned and stared at me from the hall. "Yes."
I know the words I'm about to say are false. I tried to smile, but it didn't work. "Perfect. Can you go get me one? Bring it in the morning."
Nel answered, "Sure, my lady."
Then she closed the door.
I looked out the window. I was finally alone. I took a deep breath and stared at a star as I counted to thirty. Once I was sure Nel must be out of the hall, I slid another warmer soft robe that matched my nightgown around my body from the closet. Then I found my old boots from the forest and tied my laces. I slid my mother's amulet around my neck as I might need it. I'd want her with me, either way. Now I was covered. I peeked my head out the door.
No one watched me.
My heart beat grew steadily. It raced as I slid down the stairs and tried to make my way west. I found the wooden staircase with black metal works and the high ceiling that led to the door I was brought through my first day.
I made it to the top step, but then two people giggled ahead of me. A man and a woman held hands and circled to the first step.
I flinched and then froze against the dark wall and a large vase. My chest heaved and I couldn't stop shaking. Then the voices continued down the hall. Thankfully no one saw me.
Feet shaking, I raced down the remainder of the stairs and threw open the door to escape.
My robe didn't block the cold night air. I held it tighter as I made my way through the gate and toward the stable. This was all a repeat of my first day. A moment later, my nose wrinkled. The smell of horse manure wafted in the air. I covered my face, coughed, and stared at the stables.
My plan tumbled in my mind. I couldn't announce that I'd go with Thor. He'd forbid it and walk me back to my room. I had to know what was in London.
I wrapped my hair into a bun as I filched a boy's dirty hat from the wall in the stable. Who knew if the boy washed his hair or not. I let that go. A pair of the boy's old pants, folded beneath the hat, looked as if they might fit me, so I slid them on, tucking my nightgown inside to make me appear fat. No one would see my figure clearly if I found a large enough shirt.
Page boys walked in to grab the horses’ reigns and bring them to the waiting knights.
I swallowed. T
his was it. I got in line and led a horse out of the stall. There, a shirt. I hid behind the horse as I finished my disguise.
Thor had a crowd of men on horseback that surrounded him. I didn't understand the words, but the knights and soldiers cheered once Thor finished his speech. Then the horses all galloped through the open gate.
I clutched the amulet and then stuffed it down my shirt so no one would see. My mother's past held something important I needed to know. I had to do this.
I kept my head down and someone threw a shield at my head, which I caught reflexively.
My fingers shook as I tied it to the horse's saddle.
No one seen me. I’d won.
Chapter 13
The night cooled my aching muscles. It was pitch black and still we marched. This was not the forest. We passed through fields of grass and we were always climbing up what was probably a mountain. The tip was frosted with white that glowed in the dark and yet it was summer.
I sighed, but kept my pace with the other boys. We walked behind the foot soldiers who traveled behind the knights on horseback. Head down, I stayed away from any conversations. I had to keep my identity a secret from everyone until we reached London. My mother's amulet brushed between my breasts as a constant reminder.
My thoughts returned to that brief kiss with Thor every few minutes. His strength fueled my own.
The mountain we climbed jetted so far upward, I wondered if it might be taller than the blackened sky buildings.
As we turned a corner, the packed dirt road we followed led us to blackened clouds. Dirt flew and stung my face and eyes. I lifted my oversized shirt to cover my nose and mouth and somehow block my face from the sting. My leather boots hadn't protected my feet enough from the cold because soon they were numb. We didn't slow our pace.
Though the moon was high, it didn't cast much light. The dirt path seemed to grow darker until I couldn't even see the horses up ahead, where Thor marched with his soldiers. We should at some point stop for the night, but that never seemed to happen.
At least I was safe enough with the boys who carried supplies rather than riding with Thor on a horse where I would stick out as the lone female.
My arms trembled with fatigue and the basket in my hand grew heavier with every footstep. My fingers were almost immobile.
A twig snapped close to me. Then the sound of the gravel crunched. Adrenaline rushed through me. I lowered my head, avoiding conversation, but a man cleared his throat to get my attention.
My heart raced. No one could find out who I was and what I intended to do. Someone tripped on his own foot ahead of me, and I tried to go around and avoid both the man and the accident. I pressed my lips together. Thor was so far at the front of the army that he wouldn't hear me scream if I needed help. I swallowed, but my mouth was too dry to ease my throat. I looked away and studied the road in front of me, hoping the man would get the hint and leave me alone.
With a whistle he said, "Long night."
I stared down at the rocks at my feet, coughed and lowered my voice. "Aye."
"Do I know you, lad?" My blood pressure shot up as he walked in step with me.
Keep my head down. Sweat formed on my forehead. I was glad that my wide brimmed hat kept my hair secure and didn't let the man see me. I kept my voice as low as I could. "No. My family just came."
Please don't ask me from where. I hadn't thought of that lie. I held my breath.
The man moved his water jug to his other side, and then slapped me on the back. I tumbled forward though I didn't fall. "And now you're heading back."
He assumed I was from London. Clearly a conversation was important to him. He wasn't a soldier, so I had no idea why he was even with us. My lips curved in a partial smile as I continued forward. "Yes."
The man placed his free hand to his side with his palms up as if he didn't want to scare me, but ice already ran up my spine. "I'm Joseph of Arimethia."
Introductions. Not good. I needed to answer. "I'm... err... Wren."
His shoes were brown and his dress plainer than what I wore all my life. I glanced up but then he stared right into my eyes. Despite my hat, this man could see me. I gulped, worried he might realize I'm a girl. "Do you believe in a higher power, Wren?"
The plain clothes and the higher power meant he was a humble priest. I always the preferred humble type to in-your-face pretentious religious people that had come to our camp. I let out a breath I didn't know I'd held and adjusted the basket I carried. I lowered my gaze and noticed the water jug he held seemed half empty. "I guess. Are you a priest?"
He nodded. "Yes. Would you like a sip of water to ease your burden?"
"No thank you."
"If I can offer you any assistance?"
"Ahh." He was being kind. If he was truthful, and I think he was, then perhaps he might have information. Marriage with Thor was never far from my mind. I swallowed and called up my courage. "Joseph, can I ask you a question about Thor, er, King Thor?"
His brown eyes and darker skin took on an angelic quality that made me feel like my basket became lighter. It's probably hope that surged through me, but that's not good either. "Sure. What do you want to know, my boy?"
At least he believed my disguise. I'd have to start this line of questioning carefully. Thor inspired people, even me. I could never be like him. No one could. I had to phrase my question carefully because I wanted to know if there was some way his answer might inspire me to stay near Thor. "Why does everybody blindly follow King Thor?"
He closed his eyes like he said a prayer as we walked. I didn't say anything else, but shifted the basket in my hands. The older man's eyes opened and grew wider. "He's been chosen to save us."
Even the religious saw Thor as some mystical man. From the time he was thirteen, he'd been told he was a savior. That kind of load on his shoulders must be overwhelming. My heart stirred as I rubbed my neck. "You believe that Caesar Rex deserves to be deposed?"
Joseph clutched his water jug closer to his chest and his face grew red as stared ahead at the dark road. "Rex has murdered millions of the faithful. If he is left in charge, humanity will be lost and we'll be no better than those who set fire to the sky."
Everyone who read always ended up speaking about ancient history. All the books of my father, this priest, it never stopped. If he thought that about Thor and Rex, he had opinions on everyone. I wondered what he thought of the queen stories and if he believed it was Thor's sister or me. I became dizzy as we walked. "We're off to save Morgana. How do you see her in this?"
My limbs tingled with apprehension, though he answered this question without so much venom. "She's Thor's sister."
I swallowed though my chest stayed tight. "And?"
He shrugged like it wasn't a major thing. "Her role in our salvation was cast long ago."
That must mean he thought her the savior. My heart raced. "It wouldn't be the first time in history that siblings ruled."
He walked in sync with me. "She does have the genetic marker, but God's work is more mysterious."
What mystery did he mean? He hadn't said Morgana would bring peace. Perhaps he didn't have an opinion about me. A gust of wind sent grit into my eyes. I coughed it out of my mouth, but the taste was even more bitter than dirt. I rubbed my eyes. "I see. And what about the other queen?"
I said a silent prayer that he'd say the same thing about me that the role was cast. His non-answer about Morgana meant he probably didn't anything negative about anyone.
Joseph didn't say anything at first. He tilted his head as if he thought about it. "I hope for all our sakes she is a good woman with a pure soul. That she might help us."
My insides quivered. He might know more about the queen myth than me. My body shivered. I didn't want to ask more. "But you don't know if she'll inspire people to lead their own lives?"
Joseph turned to me and I stared into his brown eyes. He seemed so calm, like he had answers to all questions. "How can any of us expect royalty to save our souls
? Thor is already an exception."
I hid my fear, and gave him a firm nod. I couldn't linger and give him the opportunity to figure out who I am. This conversation had to end soon. "What is it about her that makes you doubt?"
Joseph placed his hand on my back, urging me forward to walk as we talked. "It's what she might do. If she leads Thor off the path he's on, then we lose."
As we walked my boots scraped against smooth metal. I glanced to the side and the mountain had a strange set of metallic lines in the ground as far as I could see, which wasn't that far. I rubbed my neck to release the tension that pinched my neck. "I don't understand what you mean. How could this new queen lead Thor off the path?"
"Manipulation and intrigue surround her. We don't know anything about her parentage." Joseph pressed his lips together and walked closer to the line. "If she earns his trust, but then betrays him, then he might be sidetracked and unable to save us."
I rolled my shoulders, not understanding why people spoke in riddles. I wanted nothing to do with war. So far Thor had been kind to me and I didn't betray my friends. I clutched the basket like that might defend me. "Where does this fear come from? She's always struck me as good."
His eyes widened. "You've met her?"
The night air was warmer than usual, or it just might be me wishing I hadn't said anything. I feigned interest in the metallic line in the ground as Joseph said, "I saw this Gwen in the courtyard. She was cold and did not support Thor's efforts. To please her might mean he will be led astray."
I bit my tongue. I had been so blind and stupid that morning. He stepped closer to me, clearly not done. "What do you know about her?"
I shouldn't have said I knew me. I shouldn't have said anything. My mind was in shambles. I had to say something about myself that a stranger might say.
Adjusting my basket, I noticed that people were gathering ahead and slowing down near the track. I pressed my lips together. What had I done for people passing through our camp? "On our way from London, Gwen fed us."
Whispers of a Throne Page 10
