All around us the mountains soar upward, protecting us like a shield, and I imagine that we’re in our own little world.
Darian doesn’t bring up anything serious, and I don’t ask. It’s only been a day and I doubt he’s gotten any more information out of Jameson.
After we finish our sandwiches, Darian drinks his hot chocolate, and then quickly pulls back the wrapper on the chocolate bar, grinning at me from behind sooty lashes. He takes a bite, and savors it. “Mmm,” he moans. “So good.”
I give his leg a little kick with my foot, but he quickly catches it in one hand. In a sudden, swift move, he tugs my boot off, and grips my ankle. He cocks his head to one side, his lips lifting into a wry grin. “You should watch what you do with that thing, you know. I remember someone being very ticklish.” He holds the chocolate bar in-between his teeth and tickles my foot.
I tug my leg back, giggling. “Jerk.” I pull my legs beneath me as he takes another bite of the chocolate.
Looking over his shoulder, I squint as though I’m looking at something across the woods. “Check out that hummingbird over there,” I say with awe. When he glances away, I quickly reach over to grab the chocolate bar.
I narrowly miss it as he swipes his hand through the air, quick as an arrow…and instead I tumble against his firm chest, laughing, my hair tumbling in a curtain around my face.
I lift my head and my breath hitches as our gazes latche on to each other for a moment. My stomach dances and flutters in waves, like a flock of birds has been released inside me.
The old Desiree comes back to haunt me, telling me I shouldn’t be here…that Darian is just an old friend…and a convicted murderer. Not to mention the twinge of guilt because I know I’m bound to Asher. But then I think about Mallory and all of The Protectorate’s deceit, and remember none of that is real.
I push the old Desiree aside as a blush works its way across my cheeks. “Sorry,” I mumble. I press my hands against his muscular chest to push off and shift back to the safe zone on the other side of the blanket.
But Darian doesn’t let me.
He lays the chocolate bar down and wraps two warm hands around mine, all the while holding his dreamy gaze on me. The birds take flight within me all over again. He grins and lifts me up slightly and tugs me forward onto his lap until I’m kneeling over him—bodies so close—closer than I’ve ever been to a boy. My heart thuds so hard I’m sure he can hear it.
He twirls a thick strand of my hair around his finger, smells it. “Your hair is the color of a chestnut, Rae.” He lifts his gaze to meet mine. “It reminds me of the wastelands in the fall…so beautiful…just like you.” Leaning in, he whispers in my ear. “I think payment is due.” His breath moves across my cheek, in my ear. He cups one hand around the back of my neck, and slides his fingers up into my hair. He tugs it back slightly, playfully, his lips curving into an amused grin. “I did bring you lunch, and find Blue for you,” he says coyly, his mouth grazing the skin on my neck.
I incline my head toward him, every inch of my body electrified. “What do you want exactly, Darian?” I ask, hardly hearing myself say the words.
“You,” he says simply, with a sexy grin. He starts to close the small gap between us and I move forward, too, meeting him halfway until our lips are a hair’s breadth away. “You,” he repeats again, quieter, against my mouth, just before pressing his soft, parted lips against mine.
At first he gives me quick, soft, hungry kisses. His full lips are soft, melting into mine until I feel as though I’ve stopped breathing.
His fingers thread through my hair as he deepens the kiss with a low growl. He stops only for a second to run his tongue across my lower lip. The taste of chocolate fills my senses. Warmth pools inside of me—waves of heat as adrenaline courses through my veins.
My hands shift inside his unzipped jacket. I move my fingers across his firm chest, out to his muscular shoulders, slipping down the back of his shirt, and caress his warm skin. I can’t help but think his whole body is like the sculpted god Thor.
And I know in that one moment that I wasn’t meant to be bound with Asher. I didn’t know I could feel this kind of passion for anyone—never knew it even existed. All of this time, I never imagined being with Darian—my friend—like this.
I always thought it would be with someone from somewhere far away. But now, in an instant, I realize this is better because I know Darian so well and this kind of knowing is a deeper level I want to explore.
When he finally pulls away, I roll over and lie on my back, gazing up into the bluest sky, dreaming that those desires are realistic. The crisp air kisses my cheeks, cooling the skin still burning from Darian’s kisses.
He picks up the chocolate bar still in its wrapper. “I think you’ve earned this,” he says, smiling. He lies beside me on his stomach, propping himself up on his arms, and feeds me a bite of chocolate. Running his index finger along the bridge of my nose, he says, “I’ve always loved the sprinkle of freckles you have here.” The humor fades and a look more serious than I’ve seen all day crosses his face. “Desiree, I want to protect you from this mess. We—”
I shake my head, not wanting to talk about the reality of our life where little children are stolen, people are bound to others like it’s meant to be, and sensors link us to machines that are needed for sleep.
I want to stay in the dream that is my life in this moment—beside Darian, eating chocolate—happy, silly, and free.
Chapter Twenty-One
Over the next few days Darian and I meet at Lake Briar, where we’re hidden away from prying eyes. Sometimes we hike through the woods all around the lake, sometimes we roast marshmallows over a crackling fire, and other times we stargaze and just talk.
Darian told me his grandparents had whispered in his ear the day of his murder conviction, right before he was taken away. They were born Sevens. Their termination date was six months after Darian’s conviction. They told him where they’d hide money and that if he ever got out of jail, he’d know where to find it. Then they told him to never come looking for them. They said they weren’t sure what to believe, and in the event that he was innocent, they wanted to make sure he was taken care of. But in case he really was guilty, they didn’t want to see him ever again—they couldn’t bear it. The day he was found guilty of killing his parents, Darian had also said good-bye to his grandparents forever.
“They died not knowing the truth,” Darian said, averting his gaze from mine.
When I tried to hug him, he shot me a sad smile, pulled away, and stared blankly out the tree house window.
On Friday evening, as I head to meet Darian again, I can’t help but think about everything he lost: his parents, his only remaining family’s love and trust, his freedom, his life. The more I think about it, the more it feels like my heart is breaking right along with his.
I give my parents the excuse that I’m heading into the metro to go shopping with Laken. When I get to Lake Briar, Darian is waiting for me in his usual spot, a sly smile lifting one side of his lips. He pulls me into a hug and gives me a quick kiss. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to him kissing me, but I have to admit I don’t mind trying.
“I’ve got a surprise for you,” he says, slipping his hand into mine and tugging me down the hill until we’re both running through the forest.
I’ve never been the type to really like surprises. I’m always worried it’ll be something I’ll have to pretend I like and that the look on my face will give me away or I’ll blurt out something stupid, and they’ll know how I really feel. I’ve always had trouble hiding what I’m thinking. Either my mouth or the expression on my face gives me away.
Darian rushes the rest of the way to the tree house, even when I ask him to slow down. I can tell he’s excited, which makes me even more nervous about how to react when I discover what the surprise is. My mind races with possibilities. I wonder if he’s somehow framed my art that he bought, or if he’s made another picnic lunch.
<
br /> “What is it?” I ask, out of breath when we finally stop.
He smirks. “Patience, Rae.”
The door to the Dungeon creaks as he pushes it open. He ushers me in ahead of him, and the first thing I notice is the scent of vanilla tickling my nose. It’s dim in the tree house with the shutters pulled closed, but candles flicker around the room and I realize they’re the source of the fragrance.
The futon has the red blanket from our previous picnic draped over it and above it hangs my—thankfully—unframed painting with the sea of bats exploding out. Beside the futon there’s a basket filled with popcorn, chocolate, bottles of water, and soda. In front of the futon, on top of a large box, a Telex Tablet is lifted into an open position.
Darian shuffles in behind me and I twist around to face him, curious. “What’s this about?”
Darian shrugs and chews the corner of his lip. “I thought we could, you know, hang out and watch a movie or something.”
I smile and try to speak, but my throat feels tight. I can’t believe he went to so much trouble for me.
He steps forward and tugs me into his arms, kissing me again. The room falls silent with only the whistling of the wind and the soft rustling of the trees surrounding us. I realize it’s only us in the middle of the whole woods, and I wish we could stay here like this forever.
I pull back and gaze up into his eyes. “Thank you. This is the best surprise ever,” I say and mean it.
“No problem.” He takes my hand and sits me down on the futon. “I was hoping you’d like it.” He kneels in front of the cardboard box and powers up his Telex Tablet as I stretch out on the futon.
“So, what’s playing?”
“Roses and Romance,” he replies, a lilt of humor in his voice as he says the name of my favorite old movie.
“Are you serious?” I ask, shocked. “But you hate that movie.”
He glances over his shoulder, his lips slowly curving into a wolfish grin. “I’m cool with that. I like it when you owe me.”
I laugh. I think I do, too.
After he starts the movie, he squeezes in behind me on the futon, wrapping an arm around my waist. Throughout the film, he occasionally kisses my ear and my neck, deliciously distracting me. I think we only end up watching, well, really watching about half of the movie, but it was even better than the other ten times I’ve watched it.
When the movie is over, I twist around to face him with a sigh, and lay my head against his chest. The sound of his heart thumping in my ear soothes me.
I clear my throat and bring up the inevitable. “So, any news?” As much as it’s fun pretending everything is okay—it isn’t. “Has Jameson told you anything yet?”
Darian leans down, kisses my forehead softly, and places a hand on the small of my back, where my shirt has shimmied up. His touch on my bare skin makes me shiver.
“Yeah. I was gonna bring it up soon, but since you ask, I have good news.” He runs his fingers through my hair, pushing it away from my face. “Jameson told me last night that if I show him the flash drive with the proof of what the Dreamscape does, along with the vial you found—something tangible, that the Awakened can use—he’ll tell me the location of their nearest cell.”
My eyes widen. “Cell?”
He nods. “Yup. Apparently there are different cells in various locations.” He pauses. “And, Rae? I was right. They found a way to remove the implant that makes us need the Dreamscape to sleep.”
“Seriously?” I lift my head to meet his gaze and push aside the sinking feeling in my stomach like I’ve just jumped out of an airplane. The thought of someone digging under my skin is scary, even if it does set me free.
He swallows, his face turning serious, and nods. “But the nearest cell is a three-day hike.”
I bolt upright. “Wait. What? Three days? Are you kidding? Smackers, Darian. How are we supposed to go three days without sleeping?”
He sits up and takes my hand. “We can do it. We’ll have each other to talk to, I’ll bring lots of water, coffee, chocolate, and we’ll…well, we just have to do it, that’s all.”
I shake my head, thinking. Even if we can make it three days without sleep, how can I just leave my parents, Laken, my neighbors…my life?
I realize no matter what I tell my parents, they won’t jump up and leave. They’re happy with their life, madly in love, and have no memory of Sophia. Even if I try to tell them about her, remind them somehow, it would only hurt them. I have to deal with the fact that Sophia is probably not even alive, and telling my parents would only be torture—or at the very least, they’d think I’m crazy.
But it’s more than that.
There’s my parents’ upcoming termination date in three months—their fortieth birthdays. I need to bring them with me. I at least need to try convincing them to come. I can’t let them go in for termination believing they’ll live on together in the Dreamscape when I know everything is probably just an illusion. I’m not sure anymore where the truth begins or the lies end—if they do at all.
“I can’t leave my parents,” I whisper, fear gripping me.
Darian frowns and slumps back against the futon. “Jameson said it could only be the two of us. They don’t know us, and it’s a risk revealing their location as it is. That’s why we need proof of our solidarity. But showing up with too many people at once is against the rules.”
“But my parents only have three months to live if they stay here,” I say, my voice breaking. “Maybe we could eventually go back to get them. It’s a big risk, though, because what if, when they take the implant out, it messes with us, or The Awakened has rules about not leaving? Who knows? And when it comes to my parents’ lives, I don’t want to take that risk.”
Darian closes his eyes, sighs, and leans forward. He cups my head in his hands and presses his lips against my forehead. He keeps his mouth against my skin a moment as if he’s thinking.
He leans back and sets his jaw. “Then convince them to come and we’ll take them.” His eyes, the bluest shade of indigo, dance with determination.
My lips spread into a big smile. I know it’s a huge gamble bringing them without permission. We could all be turned away and never make it home again. But knowing Darian is willing to risk that for me makes my heart feel like it is growing and bursting, warmth tingles inside me. “Thank you!” I sink into him as he wraps his arms around me.
I know I can’t leave my parents with their termination dates looming so close and, if I’m going to go at all, bringing them along is a risk I have to take. Trying to convince them to come? That’s a daunting task I can’t even dwell on right now. I know the possibility is small, but I need to try.
And I want to find out about the Awakened for more reasons than just escaping the Dreamscape and my crazy binding. If there is any chance Sophia could still be alive, the Awakened are the ones who would probably have information on the Unwanted.
I need to find out what happened to my sister.
Darian stands and holds out his hand. “Come here.”
I slip my hand into his and we walk the couple of steps to the window. He opens the shutters, revealing the night sky. Thousands of stars glitter over the lake like sparkling diamonds.
Darian pats the window ledge and moves to the side for me to stand in front. Then he wraps his arms around my waist, resting the side of his face on my head. “Tomorrow I’m going to get that flash drive,” he says, setting his jaw. “Then we’ll leave in a day or two—as soon as Jameson gives me the information we need to find the closest cell. You need to talk to your parents…convince them somehow.”
I know that’ll be a lot easier said than done. Leaning my head back onto Darian’s shoulder, I look up into his eyes. “You’re not going to try and get that flash drive without me. I’m coming with you.”
He gives me a quick squeeze, and I feel his body move slightly as though he’s shaking his head. “No,” he says. “It’s too dangerous.”
I gaze back out the
window. “Exactly. It’s too dangerous on your own. They’re looking for you. I have a better chance of getting it than you.” I don’t tell him that, since the official scanned me on the tram, I worry that it’s only a matter of time before they make the connection between us. I ignore the knot twisting in my stomach.
I can practically feel him roll his eyes behind me. “As if I’d send you to my old house where the officials could be waiting.”
“Well, you’re not going without me—”
“Fine,” he grumbles, cutting me off. “You win. But you can only come to keep watch. Then tomorrow night we’ll come back here to celebrate.” He leans in, bites my neck playfully, and nibbles on my earlobe. A wave of shyness runs through me and I feel my muscles tense. I’m not sure how he plans on celebrating, but I’m not ready for anything more than kissing.
Darian’s muscles suddenly tighten too, and I wonder if he’s noticed my unease. But then he stretches out his arm and runs a finger along my pre-binding bracelet. With a low growl, he spins me around toward him and lifts my left arm. “I can’t wait to rip that thing off your wrist.” His brows are pinched tight, his voice stony, as if he just remembered it was there and what it means. “You’re my girl, not Asher’s.”
I follow his gaze, wishing nothing more than to be able to tear it off, too. Then it hits me. “Oh no,” I say, spinning around and staring aimlessly back out the window into the inky night. “I have to go on another group date with Asher tomorrow night.” My stomach sinks, and I face Darian, not wanting to deal with his reaction. “Darian, if I don’t show up, they’ll definitely come looking for me, you know that. I have to go.”
Darian grumbles something indiscernible under his breath as he stalks over to the futon and grabs a Sprite. He downs the contents in one long gulp and, when he’s done, he crunches the can flat with one hand.
“I’m sorry. I promise I don’t want to.”
He inhales a deep breath, releases an exaggerated sigh, and then comes to stand beside me again. “It’s not your fault. I just can’t stand the thought of you anywhere near that guy. Just one more date, then we’re outta here.”
Awakening Page 17
