“No, you know very well what the doctor told you. You can’t work,” Leslie said sternly. “At least not just yet.” She sat thinking for several minutes. “No, I’ll go back and just run the shop from twelve to twelve. That shouldn’t be too hard on me. It’ll only be temporary. If I get home by one, I can get vie or six hours of sleep and still spend time with Travis before going to work.”
“That won’t be easy,” Margie said.
“Maybe some of the young people in the church could work at Crossroads,” Clare suggested.
“It’s a possibility,” Margie said thoughtfully.
“I can’t afford to pay anyone to work.” Leslie’s spirit deflated a bit more.
“Here it is,” Darrin said, holding up the bag of leftovers like a trophy. “It sure smells good.”
“I’ll bet it is,” Leslie replied, putting on a smile she didn’t feel. “Let’s eat.” She exchanged the briefest of glances with Margie, but it was enough to close the discussion on money and the shop. One way or another, Leslie would figure a way to make it all work. If she didn’t there wouldn’t be any hope of keeping the shop, much less of paying Travis’s hospital bills.
❧
After Darrin’s request to spend a few minutes in private discussion, Leslie finally agreed to leave Margie her car and let Darrin drive her home. She settled into the luxury of the BMW, realizing for the first time just how wealthy Darrin probably was.
“Nice car,” she muttered, thinking that the cost of the car alone would probably pay Travis’s hospital expenses and the other bills as well.
“What’s wrong?” Darrin surprised her by asking.
“What do you mean?” Leslie asked, suddenly feeling quite self-conscious.
“Come on, Les, it’s me, Darrin. You were floating on a cloud when I left to get the food, but when I got back you were considerably withdrawn and pretty moody. You want to explain?” He turned into her drive and came to a stop. Shutting off the engine, he turned to face her. “So, what gives?”
Leslie felt her face grow hot. “It’s nothing, really.”
“Leslie.” His voice was soft and patient.
She sighed. “Okay, it’s just that I need to reopen Crossroads. The money situation is pretty tight. It’s not a big deal, I’ll take care of it. I just don’t like leaving Travis.”
“Why don’t you hire some temporaries?” Darrin suggested.
“Who can afford that?” Leslie countered. “We’re barely making it as it is, and if I can’t recover the loss and pack in some real business between now and the end of the semester, I’ll really be hurting by the time summer comes.”
“Can I help?” Darrin asked.
Leslie grew suddenly uncomfortable. She undid her seat belt and opened the car door. “I’ll be fine, really.” She got out of the door and was halfway up the walk when she realized that Darrin was right behind her.
“Leslie, don’t shut me out. I didn’t mean to embarrass you. I know this is a tough situation. I just want to help any way I can. You know by now that I care.”
That stopped Leslie in her tracks. Turning, she found his expression filled with compassion. Her heart skipped a beat when he placed his hands on her shoulders. She found that words wouldn’t come.
“I don’t want you to be afraid of how you’re going to deal with all of this,” Darrin said softly. “I just want you to know that I’m here for you.”
“I know that,” Leslie whispered. Her voice sounded foreign in her ears. “You’ve been a good friend, Darrin.”
He pulled her into his arms and kissed her long and passionately. Leslie felt goose bumps travel down her spine. His lips were warm and gentle against hers, and for a moment, Leslie forgot who she was and why she was worried in the first place.
“I want to be more than friends,” Darrin whispered against her cheek. Leslie began to tremble with the reality of what he’d said. “You’re cold,” he said, misjudging her reaction. ‘I shouldn’t have kept you out here, but I just had to tell you how I felt.”
Leslie forced herself to meet his eyes. Under the glow of her porch light, she could see they were sparked with a fire of passion. “I. . .uh. . .I don’t know what to. . .say.”
Darrin smiled rather roguishly. “Say that you want to be more than friends, too.”
“I. . .I. . .can’t,” she stammered.
Darrin’s expression changed instantly. “Why not?”
“I’m sorry,” she said, feeling her whole world spinning out of control. “I just can’t go forward with my life until I resolve the past. The accident, my parents’ deaths, and now with Travis in the hospital, I just can’t.”
He smiled again. “Is that all?”
“It’s enough,” she whispered, feeling tears come to her eyes. He couldn’t possibly understand how badly she’d love to give him the answer he wanted. She needed him. Needed him badly. But Travis had to come first, and the shop needed her now, more than ever.
“Look, I have to go out of town tomorrow. I’ll be gone about a week. I’m supposed to fly to Paris and look over some antiques, but I’ll be back on Sunday. Can I come see you then?”
“I don’t know. I really meant what I said, Darrin. I have a lot of unsorted baggage to go through. A relationship is probably a bad idea right now.” She wanted so much for him to understand. She prayed he wouldn’t be mad.
“I know what you said,” Darrin replied, reaching out to brush back a silky strand of blond hair. “I’ll call you Sunday.” Then before she could protest, he kissed her lightly on the mouth and left her standing on the walkway.
Leslie couldn’t comprehend what was happening. There was too much going on at once, and she felt as though none of it was making much sense. Darrin waved from his car and pulled out of her drive. She found herself waving back, and even though she felt like running after him to bring him back, she stayed rooted in place and marveled at the pleasure she found in his kiss.
“Sunday,” she whispered to the cold, winter night. “He’s going to call me Sunday.”
THIRTEEN
Darrin had barely made it into his apartment when the telephone began its annoying ring. He could tell by the answering machine that it wasn’t the first call he’d received that evening. The message line showed the number at ten, and he was certain that most, if not all of the calls, would be from Laurelin.
“Hello?”
“Darrin?” It was Laurelin. “Where in the world have you been? I’ve been calling all night.”
“Yes, I can see that from the answering machine,” Darrin said, juggling the telephone and shrugging out of his coat at the same time.
“Well?” Anger edged her voice.
“Well, what?”
“Darrin don’t play games with me. You’ve disappeared every evening for the past week and ‘Well, what?’ is all you have to say? I want to know what’s going on. I’ve been working myself to death to arrange a caterer for our wedding. The menu is a nightmare, and the prices are outrageous, and you have done nothing to help me! Do you know how many months in advance you need to plan these things? Do you even care?” She barely paused to draw breath. “Oh, Darrin, this is so immature of you.”
“Lin, I seriously doubt that maturity is directly proportional to the number of months in advance that one can schedule a caterer. Especially for a wedding that may never take place.” He hated himself for just dumping it on her like that. Though she probably deserved to be treated in the manner in which she treated others, Darrin knew it wasn’t right for him to be the one to start.
But Laurelin hardly seemed aware of his veiled threat. “Then I’ve had nothing but problems with Gerda and the shop. You’re leaving tomorrow for Paris, and I have to stay here and try to sort through that inventory mess that she created. It just isn’t fair.”
“Probably not,” Darin said, still amazed that she could ignore his mention of not having the wedding. He sat down, knowing from experience that her tirade could run into the hours if she had her win
d up.
“I get the distinct impression that you couldn’t care less about my problems.”
“Right now, I must admit they are at the bottom of my priority ladder.”
“Well, good for you, Darrin,” she snapped back snidely. “You go ahead and distance yourself from conflicts and problems of our world. You’ve proven to me just what kind of man you are, and what kind of man you aren’t. You obviously care very little about anyone but yourself.”
Darrin stared up at the ceiling. If you only knew, Lin, he thought. Then his conscience was pricked by the fact that she should know. He should just lay it out for her and end their engagement and deal admirably with her. He’d meant to do so weeks ago, but time had gotten away from him, and he’d allowed one excuse after another to keep him from having to deal with her.
“Look, Lin,” he finally said, “there’s something I need to say here.”
“Oh, don’t even think of starting in on me. I’ve had it with your melodramatic Boy Scout routine. I know you consider yourself one of the last great humanitarians, but I don’t buy it. You have a business to run and a fiancée to plan a wedding with. You obviously care very little about either one, but that doesn’t change the fact that I care a great deal. I don’t want to be the laughingstock of Kansas City when I throw this weeding, and I don’t want the business in bankruptcy. I think you’d better give this some definite thought.”
“I have given this plenty of thought, Laurelin. That’s why I need to say –”
“Don’t tell me how much thought you’ve given this! Your thoughts and time have been consumed by your father’s stupidity and that family in Lawrence.”
Darrin was shocked that she knew about his dealings with the Heywards. He said nothing, trying to imagine what he could say, but before an answer came to mind, Laurelin was off and running again.
She laughed in a haughty way. “You didn’t think I knew, did you? Well, it wasn’t hard to figure out. I thought we’d discussed this, Darrin. I thought I’d made it clear that those people would use you and milk you out of your money. If, and I do mean if, I go through with marrying you, you are going to put a stop to this misguided philanthropic game of yours.”
“It’s no game, Laurelin,” Darrin said, finally moved to the anger Laurelin obviously wanted to provoke. “Those people have a great many problems right now, and I intend to help in any way I can.”
“It has to stop, Darrin. You aren’t doing them or us any favors. I won’t take second place to a group of yokels in Laurence, Kansas, just because you feel guilty for something you didn’t do. Get over it and grow up. I want to marry a man, not a mindless little boy.”
“Which brings us back,” he said in a very stilted manner, “to the subject of marriage.”
“Hardly,” Laurelin replied. “I’m not about to continue this discussion with you. Especially not in dealing with the happiest day of my life. You think about what I’ve said. Think about what you should be doing with your life. After you’ve come to your senses, give me a call. Then and only then, will we talk about our wedding.”
The sound of the receiver being slammed down was no surprise to Darrin. He’d already pulled the phone away from his ear, knowing beyond a doubt what was about to follow. For some reason, hanging up first and having the last word gave Laurelin a sense of supreme power and control.
“Well, I hope you sleep better tonight, knowing that I was the last one to hang up,” he said into the receiver. He shook his head and hung up the telephone. She probably would sleep better just for having had her chance to berate him. She was like that. A good airing of her soul, and Laurelin was set for another day of living.
He sighed and got up. Staring at the confines of his living room, Darrin was amazed at just how empty it was. There were the normal living room comforts. A sofa, a couple overstuffed chairs, end tables, an entertainment center. He even sported two very fine prints by J.W. Waterhouse on the walls. But it all seemed rather meaningless just now.
Having spent the week with Leslie – having gone through such horrific trauma – he suddenly felt quite lonely not to have her here. He’d known for some time that he was falling in love with her, but there were so many problems to overcome that Darrin didn’t dare allow himself to believe that she might come to feel the same way about him. Hadn’t she made it clear tonight that she didn’t want a relationship?
“But she definitely responded to my kiss,” he said, feeling rather confused by the entire matter.
He paced the room and fought against the urge to call her. She’s asleep by now, he thought, glancing at the clock to see that it was already midnight. He imagined her face relaxed and peaceful in sleep. She worried so much about everything, and he longed to make it right for her. He wanted nothing more than to protect her and keep her, give her the things she needed, support her against the assaults of the world. But she might never accept him, he remembered.
Once she knows who you are, he thought, she might well hate you for the rest of your life. But even as that dreaded idea came to mind, Darrin was certain it would never actually happen. Leslie’s not like that. She’s not given over to holding someone else accountable for something they didn’t do.
“It still doesn’t mean she’d actually want anything to do with me,” he said to the air. “Once she finds out that my father was the one responsible for her parents’ deaths, she’ll probably not hate me, but she certainly won’t be able to love me, either.”
Frustration and despair began to take root in his heart. He loved her. There was no way he could deny those feelings. He loved her, but he was engaged to Laurelin. “Oh, God,” he prayed, suddenly dropping to his knees. “I’ve made such a mess of things. I need to know what to do. How do I resolve this situation?” The answer seemed evident before the words were even out of his mouth.
Tell them the truth.
Darrin knew it was right. Knew it was the only answer. He had to come clean with both women. He needed to put an end to the deception with Laurelin. He didn’t love her. Never really had. He’d found her helpful and savvy, but those were certainly not reasons to marry. No, he had to tell her the truth and do it very quickly. Then a thought came to him. He was leaving in the morning for Paris. There would be no chance to tell her anything until he got back.
“Okay, God,” he prayed. “I know this is all my fault. I’ve tried to make up for my father’s sins, and I’ve tried to take responsibility for things that had nothing to do with me. I spent a lifetime distancing myself form my father, yet now I openly accept the problems he created, and the results are eating me alive. Show me what to do, and when. Direct my steps, and show me beyond a shadow of a doubt how to deal with each problem as it develops so that I don’t find myself in this mess again.”
Darrin instantly thought of that night in Dallas when he’d first learned the truth about the Heywards and his father. He thought back to the Scripture God had clearly given him for comfort and inspiration. Getting up, he went to his bedroom and took up his Bible. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he thumbed through until he came to the verse in Ephesians 4: “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”
Darrin sat staring down at the page for a long time. “For Christ’s sake,” Darrin murmured. “God forgave for Jesus’ sake, and I have to forgive for the same reasons. Not because I’m some great guy who can just overlook the bad things in my life or the wrongs people have done. But because Jesus died and paid a very real price for those things. And because I am to be like God, forgiving and giving of kindness and love.”
Peace began to filter into Darrin’s heart and soul. There were many things that needed to be released from his hold. He needed to forgive his father and let go of the past mistakes and injuries done to him by the man. He needed to forgive Laurelin and to ask her to forgive him as well. He’d
wronged her by agreeing to marry her for all the wrong reasons. He needed to seek Leslie’s forgiveness, too. Not for what his father had done, but for not telling her right up front who he was and why he initially cared.
“Help me, Father,” he whispered. “Help me to set things right. Help me to pick up the pieces and put them back where they belong.”
FOURTEEN
Leslie found herself excited at the prospect of Darrin’s return to the States. He’d told her he would call on Sunday and that would be tomorrow. She couldn’t help but replay the scene between them when he’d kissed her. A real fire had ignited in her heart that night, and it was hard to ignore the effects it had on her. Just as the Kansas weather had changed and spring had finally shown signs of arrival, love had begun to bloom in her frozen heart. She still suffered from the conflicting emotions, remembering what he’d said to her and what she’d said in reply. She’d put him off, but he hadn’t really been persuaded by her meager attempt.
“But it was the truth,” she said aloud, as she moved around the small storage room at the back of the shop.
Taking down several bags of gourmet blend coffee, she sighed. “He wants to be more than friends.” She smiled. She couldn’t help it. How long had she prayed that a Christian man would come into her life and speak just those words?
With less than twenty minutes until time to open the shop, Leslie suddenly remembered that she needed to call the hospital. Travis was due to come home in a few days, and she still had no idea what the cost of his care had mounted to over the last two weeks.
Stacking the coffee behind the counter, she went to the telephone and dialed the main number for the hospital. “Business office, please,” she told the operator and waited patiently while the call was connected.
“Business office,” a pleasant-sounding woman answered.
“Yes, this is Leslie Heyward. My brother Travis is a patient there at the hospital, and I wanted to check on the status of his bill. I just want to get an idea of what the total is at this point.”
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