Travis looked at her strangely, and Leslie knew she wasn’t getting through to him. “What I mean, Trav, is that when you think about Mom and Dad, it’s okay to talk to me about it. If you want to remember a funny thing and laugh about it, that’s okay. If you want to talk about the accident and how bad it feels that they died, then I want you to know that I will be happy to talk to you about that as well. I just want you to know that you can talk to me about anything. Even if you think that I’ll think it’s silly. You are important to me.”
“If you’re afraid of cars, then I want you to say so, and together we’ll figure out a way to help you through it. If you can’t sleep at night because you have bad dreams, then come to me, and I’ll sit with you, and we’ll pray together until you feel better. DO you understand now, Travis?”
“I think so,” he said, falling back against her. “I can talk to you like I did Mommy.”
Leslie felt a lump in her throat, remembering all the times she had turned to her mother in fear or despair. “Yes,” she answered softly. “I’ll never be able to take Mommy’s place, but I don’t want to take that place, either. I want to be your big sister, and I want to be your friend.”
Travis nodded. “And I’ll be the brother.”
Leslie laughed softly and patted his back. “Yes. You will be the brother and the fun boy, and the joy in my otherwise dismal world.” She hugged him tightly, feeling the blessing God had given her in Travis. Healing had truly begun for both of their spirits. Together, they stood in the middle of a crossroad, and together they had chosen a path of healing. If only Darrin could be here, Leslie thought, and the idea of sharing this mall step forward seemed of major importance to her. Suddenly a great idea came to mind. She wouldn’t wait for him to call her. She would call him. He’d given her his phone number when Travis had first been admitted to the hospital.
“Hey, Travis,” she said with absolute joy filling her heart. “How about we call Darrin?”
FIFTEEN
Even with the effects of jet lag lingering in his system, Darrin had decided to speak to Laurelin at the first possible opportunity. All the time he had spent in Paris, he kept thinking about how Sunday he would go to Lawrence and spend the day with Leslie. But in the back of his mind, the nagging reminder that he had to deal with Laurelin wouldn’t allow him so much as a phone call to Leslie. Now Laurelin was due at the apartment any minute, and Darrin was nervously filling his time making iced tea.
He’d prayed a great deal about what he intended to tell her. He wanted to witness to her, but knew it wouldn’t be well received, especially in light of the fact that he intended to break their engagement. Laurelin would expect him to have gotten his act together and be prepared to go forward with the wedding.
A knock at the door announced her arrival, and Darrin breathed a prayer before allowing her admittance.
“Hello, Lin.”
Laurelin breezed into the house, wearing a complimentary spring suit of pale pink linen. “Well, hello yourself,” she said with a sunny smile. “The weather outside is absolutely perfect. It’s a gorgeous afternoon. Have you been outside?”
Darrin shook his head. “No, but I could see that things were showing definite signs of spring.”
“So how was Paris?”
Darrin smiled. “Cold, rainy, and tiresome.”
“Tiresome? Never!” Laurelin declared good-naturedly.
Darrin was surprised by her pleasant mood, yet he proceeded forward with extreme caution. He knew just how volatile this woman and her moods could be. “So,” he said in a casual fashion, “would you care for some iced tea? I just brewed a pot and was getting ready to pour it over ice.”
“Sounds great. Don’t forget the lemon.” She sauntered over to the sofa and made herself at home. “Well, in spite of the fact that you found Paris a drudge, I’d say it did wonders for you. You don’t seem nearly as uptight as you were before you left.”
Just then the telephone rang, and Laurelin reached over. “I’ll get it.”
Darrin said nothing, seeing absolutely no reason why it should hurt anything for her to answer the phone while he was busy with the tea. He could hear her speaking, but couldn’t make out the words. Whoever it was, she seemed quite capable of handling the situation.
She was just hanging up when Darrin returned with two glasses in hand. “Who was on the phone?” he asked.
“Wrong number,” Laurelin purred, taking the offered tea. “So we were talking about you and how you aren’t nearly as testy as you were before you left.”
Darrin nodded and took a seat in one of the overstuffed chairs. Laurelin frowned at him for his obvious distancing, but she said nothing.
“A lot of answers have come to me while I was gone. I suppose that’s why I don’t feel so ‘testy’ as you put it. There was plenty to do in Paris, but I spent most of my downtime, the time I could have to myself, in prayer.”
Laurelin rolled her eyes. “We aren’t going to talk about that again, are we?”
“I’m afraid so,” Darrin said apologetically. “Because it has everything to do with what I need to say, to you.”
Her hand stopped with the glass of tea midway to her lips. “What are you trying to say, Darrin?”
“I’m trying to say that I can’t marry you, Lin. I don’t love you anymore. I’m not sure I ever loved you the way I should have, but I know for sure that I can’t marry you feeling the way I do.”
“Well, isn’t that nice,” Laurelin said rather snidely. “It’s someone else, isn’t it? That’s where you’ve been spending all your time, isn’t it? Of all the selfish, self-centered people, you really take the cake, Darrin Malone. I’ve spent a great deal of time and effort putting together this wedding, and now you sit there ever so calmly telling me that you can’t marry me because your feelings have changed. Well, I’m not going to let you do this to me. DO you have any idea how much time has gone into this? The effort on my part has been immeasurable. I’ve had to do this on my own, and now you tell me it was for nothing? Darrin, you don’t deserve me.” Her brown eyes sparked.
“No, Lin, I suppose I don’t. But then again, I’m not sure who does.” He watched as a smile played at her lips. She had taken it as a compliment. Hadn’t he known that she would? Darrin attempted to remain calm. After all, he knew in his heart he was doing the right thing. He had expected no less from Laurelin. He couldn’t blame her for being angry. But her vicious rantings always hit a nerve in him, and he wasn’t sure how long he could maintain his composure.
“Laurelin, this was not a snap decision. For a long time, things have not been right between us. I have talked to God in prayer, and I feel led to tell you the truth. The truth is, I cannot and I will not marry you. I felt like I had to keep on with the relationship because of how convenient you were. . .with the store, with my trips, with my life. That was not fair to you, and I apologize. I tried to convince myself we really were alike, when in reality, we were complete opposites, in spirit, if nothing else. You don’t believe like I do, and you don’t want to. I refuse to be unequally yoked with you.” Darrin took a long sip from his iced tea and awaited her reply.
“So you’re leaving me because of a God thing? Darrin, that’s no reason to end a relationship. People get married all the time without believing the same way. There’s got to be something more. You don’t really believe this religion excuse and neither do I.”
She leaned forward in a menacing manner. “So, who is she, Darrin? Someone you met in Paris? Another antiques dealer? Someone who shows more promise than I do? Tell me.”
Darrin rolled his eyes. “Yes, it is a ‘God thing’ as you so eloquently put it. I’m sorry if you don’t believe my ‘excuse,’ but it’s the truth. I don’t feel I have anything in common with you except the shop, and that’s not enough to base a marriage on. I am not going to continue in a relationship where I provide no more than critical insight to your wardrobe choices and decorating techniques.
“I need to feel I can
confide in you, take my fears to you, and that you will meet me halfway with love and compassion. I don’t feel you are prepared to do that. As a matter of fact, I don’t think you ever will be. You love Laurelin Firth and her interior decorating business. You don’t love me, you don’t love our relationship, and you definitely don’t love God. Now, how do you propose a marriage under such conditions?”
“If you wanted it bad enough, you’d make it work. You are a quitter, Darrin Malone. You have no drive, no desire. You cut your losses and run if things don’t go your way. So I didn’t turn out the way you thought I would. You certainly didn’t seem to mind a year ago, or even six months ago. Now you’re telling me you’ve had this epiphany, and you realize that you can’t marry me because I don’t believe like you. I don’t buy it! You’ll be a loser without me, Darrin. You remember that. If you leave me, Elysium will fall in ruins. You think Gerda will pick up my slack? And just what am I supposed to do without that job?”
“Lin, if you want it, the job is still yours. I don’t expect you to rely solely on your interior decorating.” Darrin stretched out his long legs and took another drink of iced tea. This wasn’t going well at all. He could tell that nothing he said made any difference to her. She had just been dumped. And that didn’t happen to Laurelin Firth. Her veiled threats and snide comments were meant to keep Darrin on his toes, not push him over the edge. Now, she didn’t know how to react.
“You know, Lin, it occurred to me that this is the one scenario you probably haven’t rehearsed. That’s what bothers you so much, isn’t it? I’ve put you into a very uncomfortable situation, and you don’t know how to deal with it any other way than to be nasty and hurtful.” He watched as Laurelin’s face dropped in horror.
“How dare you imply that I don’t know how to deal with you? You’re nothing, Darrin. Nothing at all. I’m not being nasty – I’m being realistic. Something you obviously haven’t taken the time to be. I know exactly how to deal with you and your childish desires. You felt smothered and trapped, like all men do when facing a marriage, and you panicked. Then, to save yourself from looking like a noncommittal little boy, you whipped up this ‘believer/nonbeliever’ jazz because you knew that if all else failed, you could throw Bible verses at me and look all superior. ‘See? I really can’t marry you. Look how many verse I know that you don’t.’ That’s all it is. And yes, I’m angry, and I have good reason to be. But don’t you ever tell me that I don’t know how to deal with something. I always know how to deal with everything.
Darrin couldn’t recall a time when he’d seen her so upset. She was breathing heavily from shouting for almost five minutes without a rest. Her fists were clenched, and her teeth were gritted.
“Lin, think of it as you like. No doubt that’s the version our friends will receive. I really don’t care. You can’t touch me with your words. What I have told you is the truth. My faith is growing stronger, and I am seeing you in a different light. I don’t love you anymore, and whether or not I ever did is in question, as well. It’s over. No amount of screaming is going to change that. And as to whether or not there’s someone else, yes, there may very well be. But that is none of your business.”
Laurelin grabbed her purse and abruptly stood up. “Fine, Darrin. Have it your way. It’s over. Great. And I suppose I’m the one who gets to break it to everyone. Well, thanks a lot. At least I’ll have more time on my hands.” Dejectedly, she shook her head. “All those wedding napkins. Wasted. What in the world am I going to do with all those napkins?”
“Look, Laurelin, I don’t want this to end badly. I really feel terrible about this, because it is my fault. Will you ever be able to forgive me?” He genuinely meant it. He didn’t relish the thought of a slighted Ms. Firth being in charge of his antiques while he was away, and he truly didn’t want her to be hurt and angry. She couldn’t help who she was, nor could he.
“It’s going to take a lot of effort on my part, Darrin, but I will try. I’m not promising anything, you know.” Darrin nodded.
“No, of course you’re not. How could you?”
“Another thing,” she said angrily, “you can keep your job and your stupid store. I’ll be fine without any handouts from you.”
He watched as she confidently strode to the door of his apartment. Just before walking out, she turned. “Oh, and one more thing. You might want to call Leslie.”
Quickly, she slammed the door behind her, leaving Darrin’s thoughts in turmoil. Leslie? How did she know about Leslie?
Suddenly, he understood. It hadn’t been a wrong number when he was in the kitchen. Laurelin had spoken to Leslie. No doubt, Lin’s sarcastic and superior nature had left Leslie battered. She probably hated him now.
What if she was calling about Travis? What if he was worse? Oh, Lord, he prayed. Please let Travis be okay. And please don’t let Leslie be angry. Dialing the number to her home, Darrin’s frustration grew. The buy signal offered him little comfort.
“Come on, Leslie, get off the telephone.”
He tried for over an hour, and still the same pulsating drone came back in his ear. His worry and concern for Travis began to eat at him, so rejecting Leslie’s home phone, he dialed the hospital instead.
The hospital operator sounded less than cheery, but Darrin held back any comment and asked instead to speak to the nurse’s desk in pediatrics.
“Pediatrics, this is Kelly,” came the voice.
“Kelly, this is Darrin Malone. Travis and Leslie Heyward’s friend, remember?”
“Oh, sure. What can I do for you?”
“Well, I’ve had to be out of town for the past week, and I wondered how Travis was doing. I’d tried to call Leslie, but her line is busy.”
“Oh, well, you just missed her. She was here up until about five minutes ago. Travis is great. He may get to go home in a couple days.”
Darrin breathed a sigh of relief. “That is good news.”
“Darrin, I’m real sorry, but I can’t hang on. I’ve got two new patients coming in and –”
“That’s okay, Kelly,” Darrin interrupted her explanation. “I just wanted to make sure Travis was okay.”
“Sure thing.”
For several seconds after Kelly had hung up, Darrin just stood in place, phone in hand. Why had Leslie called if Travis was recovering so well? Was something else wrong? Or. . .He smiled to himself. Maybe she’d changed her mind about being more than friends.
He replaced the receiver and picked up his iced tea. The urge to go to Lawrence battled with the fatigue he felt from the long flight. Maybe I’ll just grab a nap and then go over, he thought with a yawn. That sounded exactly perfect. He’d just take a quick nap and drive to Lawrence in the early evening. Maybe he could talk Leslie into going out to dinner and. . .
Suddenly he remember that Laurelin had spoken to Leslie on the phone. What had she said? Had she told Leslie of her relationship with me? These thoughts haunted him as he gave in to his exhaustion. He’d straighten it all out when he woke up. After all, he had a great deal of confessing to do anyway, so he might as well add Laurelin to the list of things to tell Leslie about.
SIXTEEN
When Darrin awoke, he was disoriented and for a moment found it impossible to remember exactly where he was and why. He felt stiff all over and, after stretching, sat up on the edge of the bed to note the time on the clock. The red numerals glared 6:02. So much for early evening, he thought. By the time I get to Lawrence, it’ll be at least seven or seven-thirty.
Getting to his feet, he stretched again and went to pull back the curtains, surprised to note the color of the sky. Something about it just didn’t look right. He checked his watch again and then a sudden revelation hit him. He’d slept all night! It wasn’t 6:02 on Sunday evening. It was 6:02 Monday morning.
With a groan, he flipped on the television to confirm his suspicions. “Monday morning traffic is backed up on the Shawnee Mission Parkway off of I-35,” a female reporter was saying. “Also a non-injury accident at
State Line and seventy-fifth is requiring a detour if you’re heading north into the city.” The male co-anchor joked with her about the road construction detours, which apparently were requiring detours around detours, but Darrin had stopped listening.
Shutting the set off, he sat down on the sofa and ran a hand through his hair. “How could I have slept all night? Leslie will think me a real heel for not at least calling. I promised I’d call on Sunday.”
He wondered silently if it was too early to call, then deciding it was, opted for a shower instead. He’d just make up for lost time and no phone call by spending all of Monday with her. And if she couldn’t get away from Crossroads, he’d plop down at one of the booths and spend the entire day drinking coffee. Two hours later, Darrin wheeled the BMW into a parking spot outside of Crossroads and noted the sign in the window. SORRY, WE’RE CLOSED! stared back at him as if putting a physical wall between Darrin and his mission. The trip over had given him a great deal of time to consider how he would break his news to Leslie – not that he hadn’t already been considering the hows and whens ever since he’d left for Paris.
He planned first to explain Laurelin. He knew his ex-fiancée well enough to know that she probably made it very clear to Leslie what her status was in his life, at least Laurelin’s version of her status. Leslie probably thought him a complete write-off, and he couldn’t blame her. He’d made a real mess of things, and only now was he beginning to fear that Leslie would have nothing more to do with him based on the Laurelin issue alone.
Even so, Laurelin’s position in his life paled against the reality of his father’s position. He’d sent Laurelin packing, but he couldn’t just remove the fact that Mike Malone was his father, nor the fact that Mike Malone had killed Leslie’s father and mother. That was an issue of such major proportions that Darrin was beginning to feel inadequate to face it.
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