“Kathryn has known Sean and his family forever, she swears that Sean made Cami happy when they were together. That once upon a time, Cami loved the boy and would’ve married him had he not been stupid.”
“Stupid?” I asked feeling outraged on Camille’s behalf. “A stupid mistake is leaving the toilet seat up or accidently leaving your lights on when you exit the car, what he did was straight up fucked Jack and you know it.”
“Don’t you think I know that?” he asked. He rose from his seat and glared at me as he paced back and forth, running his hands through his graying hair like a mad scientist. “I hate that smug, little shit. I don’t care how famous he is. He ripped out her heart five years ago and I cringe every time Kathryn brings him up!”
“Then why do you condone it? How can you just sit there while Kathryn and Sean’s mother try to railroad her into taking back a guy that’s not worth the shit she scrapes of her shoes? Are you so whipped that you can’t even stand up for your own daughter?” Jack stopped pacing and for a moment he looked sick. However, I wasn’t done! I didn’t get pissed off often, but once I was I always hit harder and lower to win. “Would you be this passive if it was Synclair in this situation instead of Camille?”
I realized I pushed the man a little too far when he took to steps toward me with his fist clenched tight against his thigh. Instead of slugging me like I deserved after a comment like that, he flopped back down into the chair as if his legs couldn’t hold him up any longer.
“I’m sorry, that was below the belt.” I was lying, I wasn’t sorry, I just couldn’t stand the defeated look on the man’s face. Besides, in his heart attack years, I didn’t want to say something that could get him hospitalized and me beat to death with one of Synclair’s baseball bats, the woman definitely had a strange addiction to those damn things.
“No, you’re right.” Jack sighed and looked up from the floor, his eyes were misty with unshed tears, “the truth is I didn’t have to worry about Syn, she pushed men away. Sure I knew she was having sex with them, but she never dated them, never cared about. I knew it wasn’t healthy, I knew she had closed herself off, but in a way it made it easier for me. I didn’t have to defend Synclair because she was a force of nature all on her own.”
Okay, I could see that. I knew that before Syn had come to Carson City, she had been a straight up bad ass. My sister, Rachel, had worked for her at the bar she had owned with Jack and told me that Synclair was always either working, sleeping, baking or having a quickie with some guy who’s name she’d forget before the condom hit the trash can. Luckily, my brother Reece had been able to get her to fall in love with him all over again and give him a second chance. Now the woman who didn’t like hugs or loud family mornings was constantly hugging my brothers and me. So, while I could see where Jack didn’t need to protect Syn from a broken heart, it had nothing to do with Camille.
“Dalton, I was a coward for so long, I just sat back and let that man, Walt, raise my little girl. I thought he’d give her all I couldn’t. He swore he'd treat her like a princess and that Kathryn would never want for anything. I convinced myself it was the right thing to do because I was scared of turning out like my own father. Now, I’m here and I love Kathryn as much now as I did two decades ago. That woman smiles at me and I lose my train of thought,” The man looked genuinely miserable. But that right there was why I wasn’t looking forward to falling into the big L web. I had watched both of my brothers, Reece and Lucas, fall all over themselves when they fell in love. I intended to avoid it as long as possible.
“The only thing that keeps me from taking Walt apart piece by piece is the fact that Camille loves him. He was the only father she has ever actually known and he tossed her aside for a child he hadn’t even known existed. Jesus Dalton, the girl works for him in the hopes of getting some love and affection from him. And Kathryn? She pretends like everything is civil and that she hasn’t been humiliated by what that bastard did, but I know different. It’s hard to come down on her when she just wants Cami to be happy. She’s convinced that Sean should get a second chance, that his money and exciting film career will bring back the laughing, fun-loving girl we all miss.”
I took a long draw from my beer and set it down on the table. “Listen, Jack, I can’t pretend to know how to be a parent but I can tell you this. Camille needs to know you have her back, she needs to know you believe in her and that you love her no matter what.”
Jack looked up at me, a surprised expression covered his face, “Dalt, she knows I love her. Proud? I’m so damn proud of that girl I want to burst. I even offered to back her in her own pub if she wanted, how can she not know how much I love her? Do you think she doubts my love for her?” He looked so confused I almost held my tongue but thought the better of it and spoke anyways.
“I don’t know Jack, she’s outside with a man who humiliated her because Sean represents a life that Camille’s mother dreams of, she’s working at a pub because that’s what your dream is, and Walt is the worst because there is no way he doesn’t see how smart and talented she is and forces her to watch him go home to another family every day and doesn’t even give her a pat on the back! You tell me, Jack, does she know? Does she really? Has anyone ever asked Camille what she wants?”
I got up from the sofa and turned to the door, I couldn’t sit here any longer wondering what emotional bullshit that asswipe was spewing at Camille.
“Where are you going?” Jack asked as I grabbed the doorknob.
“To make sure I’m there if Camille needs a friend, to be there for her, someone needs to be,” I told him shaking my head and walking out the front door.
Cami
“What did you want to say to me, Sean?” I asked. My tone failed to hide how pissed off I was. Mad that I was havin’ to stand out here in freezin’ cold while Sean shifted from foot to foot like a boy who needed the toilet.
Even in the dark I could see his silver eyes trying to peer into me soul. There was a time that I loved those eyes, they were so warm and beautiful, now they just seemed empty.
“I wanted to apologize for me actions five years ago, I feel terrible.” He took a step toward me and I took two steps back, me hand thrust out to ward him off from comin’ any closer.
I took a moment to absorb his magnanimous apology. Seriously, he looked like he had just read the lines off a teleprompter. The lad had five years to think of what he was goin’ to say and that was the best he could do? I was cold and, once again, I was wastin’ me time expecting something out of Sean that he wasn’t capable of bein’, mainly human.
“Are ya done then?” I asked as I crossed me arms over my chest. Despite Sean’s jacket me nipples were pebbled so hard from the cold they physically ached. When he just stared at me, I suddenly wondered what all the fuss was about. I had spent years following the chap around like a lost puppy dog. I had hung on his every word, taken everything he said at face value and I had always made what he needed more than what I needed. Come to think of it that was how our friendship had always been too.
I was the one who planned his birthday parties and even our outings, I suddenly couldn’t remember the last time Sean had ever planned a party for me or took me out on a planned proper date.
I smiled and took off his jacket and held it out to him, “Right, thanks for the apology Sean and for stoppin’ by,” I told him trying to keep my voice light and friendly.
I turned go back in the house, his hand on me arm stopped my escape. Damn.
“You forgive me then?” He asked as if he couldn’t fathom it.
I shrugged me shoulders, “Yeah, it was five years ago Sean, it hurt more than I can tell you, not just because you betrayed me when I thought you loved me, but because I felt like I lost me best friend, you,” I told him honestly. I couldn’t really be mad about losing Tara, seeing as I had always known what a slapper she was. Yeah, trusting her was all on me.
I stared from his hand on me arm to his face. Before I could guess his intentions he h
ad me pulled into his arms and was squeezing me so tight, I thought I might bust a lung. I tried to pull back but he only held on tighter. I managed to tilt my head back. I was about to tell him to let me go when his lips crashed hard onto mine. I squealed in pain as me lips smashed against me teeth, drawing blood. Instead of letting me go he took that opportunity to thrust his tongue into my mouth. I began to frantically push against his shoulders but the lad wouldn’t budge. At the same time, he was shoving his tongue so far down me throat I was practically gaggin’.
This was probably a bad time to realize the fact that Sean’s kiss left me cold. As in I could lick the wall in me room and get more turned on. However, I refuse to recognize the notion that Dalton’s kiss turned me knickers wet in seconds and right now they were as dry as the Sahara desert. The familiar panic I had always felt when Sean tried to be intimate with me returned full force and I could feel me heart start to pound.
As his hands started pushing up me skirt I finally got a little leverage and stomped on his fat ass foot.
“Ow… shiiiite Cami, what the hell is the matter with you?” he snapped.
Wiping me mouth with the back of me hand I tried to control me breathin’, “You and I don’t speak for five years, you come back all of a sudden, offer up some lame apology, and that gives you the right to rape me mouth with your tongue? Feck off Sean,” I shouted back.
I knew he was pissed, those silver eyes shone with anger and for a moment his face contorted in a way that made him look truly evil.
“Rape your mouth? You’d be lucky if I violated any part of ya,” he spat while he took another menacing step toward me.
All me old insecurities rose to the surface, and I was furious with meself for letting Sean make me feel bad again, “Really, I’d be lucky would I? You think I’d be countin’ me lucky stars that you were good enough to step down out of yer jet set ivory tower and mingle with a commoner like me? You can go to hell Sean! You’d have to rape me to fuck me, cause that’s how much yer touch makes me skin crawl,” I yelled, not carin’ if me parents or Sean’s mother heard us in the house.
He closed the distance in two strides but I refused to back up, I was done backin’ down. I tried not to flinch when he grabbed my arms again and pushed his angry face into mine. “Is that what you want, Cami? Would that warm the ice in those veins? I never would have shagged Tara or anyone else if you had just let me have you, even once,” he was so close I feel his angry breath as he panted.
I tried unsuccessfully to stop the tears that had started down me face. We were back that were we? Back to where he blamed me for his wandering eye or more to the point his wondering cock.
“I was goin’ to give myself to you that night you stupid, gobshite! You knew I was waitin’ for the right time, I wanted it to be special!” I shouted as I broke free from his grasp.
“And I wanted to get laid by me girlfriend!” he practically screamed.
“Well had you kept your cock in your trousers for another sixty minutes you would have! But you didn’t, instead you were balls deep in me best pal and I’m betting it wasn’t the first time was it Sean?… Was it?”
Now it was me gettin’ in his space, years of anger and pain boiled up and out before I could stop it.
“No, I shagged her every chance I got! she understood that I have needs Cami, needs you didn’t want to fill. She didn’t stop me when the kissin’ got heavy, and she didn’t turn me away after getting’ me cock hard. I thought it was me for a long time, then I realized it was you!”
I reeled back like he had slapped me, “Is that supposed to help me readily accept yer bloody apology? Poor, international film star, Sean Walsh, was the victim of a virgin who wanted her first time to be special, who wanted to find someone to love her and that be the only person she ever shared her body with! You poor, poor man, it must have been so devastatin’ for ya!” I sneered.
“No, it’s not your fault, we were both victims,” he told me while I stared at him like he was fecking insane.
“How exactly do ya figure the math on that one Sean?” This I had to hear.
“Actually, I think we’d all like to hear how you arrived at that little revelation, Sean.”
I whirled around to see Dalton standing about two feet behind me. His green eyes looked fierce, and he was standing with his fists clenched against his black jeans. Behind him on the porch was me parents and Sean’s mother. I expected to see an angry look on my Ma’s face, since I had ruined her dinner with me shouting, but she didn’t look mad at me, she was staring right past me burning holes into Sean Walsh like only an angry mother could.
“Well Sean, let’s hear it,” Dalton demanded taking another step in Sean’s direction.
Sean’s wild gaze caught mine and I shook my head. He may have broken me heart, but I didn’t want me parents, his mother and Dalton Hudson to hear his opinion on me sexual shortcomings.
“Cami has ISD,” Sean announced to God and everyone.
I am not sure if it’s wrong to say the lord’s prayer while simultaneously praying for a large hole to swallow Sean Walsh up and drag him into the pits of hell. Yet, that was what I was doing, me cheeks were red with embarrassment and I didn’t even want to hear what ISD was. I was silently hoping no one would even ask.
“What the hell is ISD?” Dalton Hudson, the bane of my current existence had to ask.
I raised me eyes to the sky and silently wondered if God was havin’ a laugh at me expense. Please let it stand for- I suck at dancing,- please, please.
The next statement that came out of Sean’s mouth was proof that miracles really DO NOT exist. “It’s a medical condition, Inhibited Sexual Desire,” Sean said proudly.
I couldn’t believe what the man was sayin’. I looked around and was deeply disappointed by the lack of weaponry in me front yard. I decided that tomorrow morning I would plant hidden weapons all over the place so that I would never again be in this situation. I mean, apparently the man was taken over by brain eating zombies and the only human thing to do was to stab him in the heart and cut off his head, right? Okay, maybe the shite wasn’t a zombie, but I was still open to the heart stabbing part.
“Go on now son, what is this gibberish yer spoutin?” Sean’s mother asked. Thank god, maybe she could get crazy man to shut the hell up.
Sean apparently didn’t catch the –he’s lost his mind – looks that everyone was giving him because he launched right into his crazy explanation.
“No mum, it’s true, I spoke to doctors in California about it. It’s not Cami’s fault she can’t feel anything sexual. There’s switch in her that’s broken and the doctors think they can fix it,” Sean turned me to face him and in my shock I actually allowed it.
“Don’t you see? I’ll never stray again! We can fix you Cami, you don’t have to be frigid.”
Sean pulled me into his arms and I went without protest. Me mind kept getting stuck on broken… and fixing me. I have never in my life been at a loss for words, but I was beyond humiliated. Sean had spoken to doctors about me? Now that he had a solution for me, “problem” I should just forgive him, take him back and bask in the happy delusional glow of being “fixed”?
I know I should be ragin’ here. I should be taking off Sean’s right testicle with these deadly heels I was wearin’. However, I felt very drained all of a sudden. I didn’t know if Sean was right, if I was indeed frigid, but I knew that no matter what issue I may be afflicted with, he had no business shaggin’ my best mate and her mother. Again, So Gross!
I moved out of Sean’s arms and looked around at everyone, they were all just standin’ there waitin’ to see what I would do.
“I appreciate all your research into me ‘issue’ Sean, but you and I are not getting back together. I’m exhausted, if you’ll excuse me, I have to get to bed,” I whispered as I backed a few steps away. One look at his confused face told me he didn’t get it, he never would. He honestly didn’t see what he had done that was so wrong, and that was why we were
so done.
“Cami, this fixes everythin’, don’t you get it? Everythin’ can go back to the way it was,” he explained liked I was the one acting like a lunatic asylum escapee and not him. “Didn’t ya hear me love? It can be just as it was,” he repeated while I backed further away.
“And that’s exactly why I can’t take ya back Sean,” I told him sadly. For years, I had imagined Sean begging me for forgiveness. In a few fantasies I had actually taken him back and he spent the rest of our years worshipin’ me and trying to make up for all his shitty deeds. Yet, staring the idea of a life with Sean, dead in the face, made me realize that whether I was frigid or not, we were not meant to be.
I turned and walked toward the porch, I dodged Dalton’s hand as he reached for me as I passed him. I couldn’t look at him, I couldn’t look at any of them, I didn’t want to see pity in their faces. I increased my steps and ignored shouts from me Da and Dalton as I broke into a run up the porch steps and dashed for me room. As soon as I reached it, I slammed the door and locked it. A loud knock vibrated me door and I threw myself on me bed.
“Camille… come on! Open up and talk to me!” Dalton implored from the other side of the door. I tried to cry into my pillow so he couldn’t hear but when I heard a thunk against me door, it sounded like his forehead was pressed against it.
“Please baby, you don’t have to talk or you can just insult me! Call me one of your Irish insults, come on. I even pulled up google translator so I can at least understand when you call me an asshole,” I heard the sincere worry in his voice but I couldn’t make meself answer the door.
I heard him mutter a curse word and when the silence stretched into minutes, I thought he had finally left.
“Okay Camille, I’m going to give you space, but we are going to talk about his sweetheart. Just know Sean won’t be coming around again, at least not on two working legs,” Dalton shouted through the door and I cringed when I heard him stomp down the stairs.
Lucky Charms: A Hudson Family Series- Book 3- Dalton and Cami Page 7
