“Okay,” Brandon said. “No thanks to you. What good does it do to have a doctor on board if all he does is pass out on you?”
“My apologies.” Phillip turned back to Rachel, and his smile vanished. “Morales wanted you very badly. Why?”
“I’m not certain. Past history. I’m just sorry that you all became involved. I never expected that to happen. You know that Bill and Nancy are dead?”
“I watched it happen. It was so fast…” His hand tightened on her own. “I was glad you weren’t there, Rachel. I thought any minute, I’d hear that you’d been found.”
The nurse took a step forward. “I have orders to take Dr. Sanford to his room,” she said pointedly.
“Please. One more moment,” Rachel said. “I talked to One World earlier this evening, and they’re going to take care of funeral arrangements. I may not be able to go to the services. Tell their families that I’ll call them later.” She looked at his leg. “You may not be able to go either.”
“I’ll be there.” He made a face. “Though it might help if I had access to a wonderful miracle elixir to make it heal faster. I don’t suppose there’s any of that around?”
“No, there isn’t.” She gave him another hug. “A terrific doctor like you should know that miracles are few and far between.” She nodded at the nurse as she stepped back. “But before you know it, you’ll be back on your feet and One World will be assigning you a new team to go to the Sudan.”
“Then I’ll request you, Rachel. You’ll be first on my list.” He was looking back over his shoulder as the nurse wheeled him down the corridor. “Take only temporary assignments until they give me my new team.”
“I might be busy for a while. That’s why I can’t attend those funerals. I have a few things to straighten out.”
“Really? Now that arouses my curiosity.” He paused. “How is Maria doing?”
“Very well. You might visit her while you’re here in the hospital. I’d like you to keep an eye on her.”
“My pleasure.” He turned around. “I’m a lousy patient. It will be good to keep busy…”
She watched him being wheeled toward the elevator before she turned back to Brandon. “You didn’t tell me that you’re one of the men who was hurt tonight.”
“It was only a flesh wound. And after all that emotional, heartfelt speech about guilt and responsibility, I didn’t want you to be weeping all over me.”
“I would have restrained myself,” she said dryly. “You’re an exception, Brandon.”
He nodded. “Yes, I am. Absolutely.” He gazed at her for a moment. “I’m beginning to think that you might be one as well. I gather from the gist of those last words to Sanford that you’re not going to try to break your word to me?”
She shook her head. “I said ‘anything.’ You gave me Maria. You gave me Phillip. I don’t care as much about keeping my word to you as I do about keeping it to myself. I’d know if I broke my word, it would damage who I am.” She met his eyes. “So tell me what you want me to do. Do you want to use me as bait? That would make sense.”
“Yes, wouldn’t it? I’ll think about it.” He took her elbow. “But right now I think I have to get you out of Guyana before Huber finds out where you are and sends in reinforcements. We’ll talk about ways and means on the trip.”
“I have to go back and say good-bye to Maria and Blanca. Then I have to speak to the resident doctor and tell him that Phillip will be in charge of any future treatment. I’ll meet you at the front entrance.” She saw his expression and translated it immediately. “Do you think I’m going to run out on you?”
“The thought occurred to me. I told Nate that I thought you were like Venable. Neither Venable nor I would hesitate to slip away if it suited our purpose.”
“Then come with me,” she said impatiently. “But I’m not my father. I’ve fought all my life to not be what he is. We don’t go by the same rules. The one time I thought we understood each other, he nearly destroyed me. So you’ll forgive me if I don’t appreciate being compared to him.” She turned on her heel and strode away from him toward the elevator. She didn’t look back until she was on the elevator and pushing the UP button.
He was still standing where she’d left him and as the door started to close, he slowly nodded.
And what did that mean? That he trusted her? That he understood? She just didn’t know. He was too complicated for her to make any firm judgments. Maybe before this was over, she’d be able to understand him.
Providing they both stayed alive.
CHAPTER
4
“What are we doing here?” Rachel was frowning as she got out of the rental car and looked at the dozens of boats moored at the dock of the harbor. “I thought we’d be going to the airport.”
He shook his head as he moved toward a sleek, large white cruiser. “Nate’s going to take the copter to Miami and await instructions there. By now, Huber will know who attacked Morales’ camp and what kind of aircraft. If you’re not seen getting on that helicopter, he’ll have to scramble to find out how you left here.” He lifted her aboard the ship. “He’ll make the connection soon enough. He knows I grew up on a boat. But it will give us time enough to get as far as Trinidad, where we can get a jet out for New Orleans or Atlanta.” He started the engine. “Sit down. Unless you know enough about boats to help instead of hinder.”
She shook her head. “I know how to drive a small speedboat but nothing this big.” She sat down and watched him. He knew exactly what he was doing, every movement had purpose and efficiency. They were out of the harbor and on open water in no time.
Moonlight.
Dark water.
She watched Brandon moving, his hands almost sensual, caressing the wheel with complete knowledge, his eyes on the sea ahead of him. The lines of his body were clean and strong, she thought, and there was a rhythm about the way he stood, balancing against the thrust and power of the boat. It was almost sexual, she thought absently. The thought was immediately followed by a clenching in her own body that was as swift as it was surprising.
Where had that come from? Out of the blue certainly. Probably a relief from the physical stress she’d been undergoing for the last twenty-four hours. Sexual desire often followed intense fear and activity. And face it, Brandon was sexually attractive with that lean stillness and—
She was overanalyzing. Hu Chang had told her never to do that. Just accept that it had happened and forget about it. It was all part of the healing.
The boat was throbbing, spraying water as it cleaved the surf.
Fast.
They were going very fast, skimming the waves.
Why did the pace seem so soothing?
“You do this very well,” she said. “I knew you must know a lot about boats, but I didn’t know you grew up on them.”
He glanced at her. “How did you know I knew anything at all about— Ah, the wonderful savant, Hu Chang. You’ve been making inquiries?”
“You could have been anyone. I had to find out more. He didn’t know much. He said that your father had been a thief and a smuggler and something about some shipyards. He’ll know more the next time I talk to him.”
“But maybe not what you want to know.” He smiled. “I told you I wouldn’t keep secrets from you. Though there have been things I decided it would be better to wait to tell you. You have questions. Ask me. You’re very sharp, you might be able to tell if I’m lying.”
“And I might not.” But she would try anyway, she decided suddenly. Because this seemed a completely different Jude Brandon. There was a recklessness about him that intrigued her. It would probably be wise to know this facet if she had to deal with him. “Why did you grow up on a boat? It seems an odd place to raise a child.”
“I didn’t think so.” He shrugged. “Maybe for some kids. I thought it was perfect. There was just my dad and me. My mother decided that she wasn’t cut out to be maternal and tossed me to my dad when I was six. I was probably lucky sh
e waited that long, I wasn’t easy even at that age. But my dad gave her a hefty child-support check so she put up with me. To her surprise, he took me to raise and didn’t leave me at the nearest orphanage, which meant he fed me, clothed me, then let me run wild. When we weren’t sailing, we skipped from country to country from Greece to South Africa where my dad had ‘business.’ As long as I didn’t get arrested or put him in a spot where he was forced to face down the local Mafioso, I did what I wanted. Most of which you would have thoroughly disapproved of.” He added, “And then when we were back on the boat, he taught me chess, how to count cards, and told me stories about his life that were mostly lies but had great entertainment value.”
“Schooling?”
“Computers. Another way to keep me from getting bored. He didn’t have any trouble getting me to do lessons. I’m curious … and competitive. I had to find ways to be just that little bit better than what I was offered in those courses.”
Probably quite a bit better, she thought. She could suddenly see that wild little boy living life to the limit, loving every minute of it. Yet it was a completely different picture than the highly disciplined, lethal man she knew him to be now.
“No more questions?”
“You must have changed…”
“Not voluntarily. I would have probably still been out there doing what I did best, which was getting into devilment. But my dad had a sudden crisis of conscience when I was seventeen and decided to take me away from my wicked ways. It shocked both of us. But he said that one brilliantly crooked Brandon in the family was enough and that he didn’t intend to spend his old age thinking of ways to break me out of a jail cell in Morocco. He said he wanted me to join the Army so that I’d receive a little of the self-discipline he’d never been tempted to teach me.”
“It certainly appears to have been very successful. But I’m surprised that you let him persuade you to do it.”
“I would have done anything he wanted me to do,” he said quietly. “I fought him, but it was a foregone conclusion. I loved him. He was the only person who had ever cared a damn about me. I wasn’t going to throw that away.” He smiled faintly. “That doesn’t mean that after I joined the Army I didn’t try to place myself in a position where I could run things. But I was careful not to cross the line until I found my niche.”
“Special Forces.”
He nodded. “My dad was very pleased, he could see I was changing in spite of myself. But he knew that he had to be ready when I became restless and broke free. That didn’t happen until after I’d had a few tours in Afghanistan. It was a challenge…” He looked back at the water. “But he was ready when I was. He’d saved enough money to buy a shipyard in Hong Kong, and he sent me the partnership papers. Along with a note saying that there might be a few problems involved.”
“Hu Chang mentioned a Chinese triad.”
“I’m not surprised he’d heard about that. It earned me a certain amount of notoriety, but it also served to keep the wolves at bay.”
And Brandon had already learned how to handle the wolves both in his childhood and the battlefield. “You said your father had been a thief and smuggler all his life. Yet suddenly he decided to go straight and become a legitimate businessman? Why?”
“A perceptive and clever woman like you shouldn’t have to ask that question.” He glanced back at her. “Or maybe you should, judging by a few cynical comments about Venable you’ve made here and there. But the answer is easy enough.” He added simply, “My father loved me and wanted what he thought best for me. During those years after we started the shipyards, I knew there were times when he wanted to just hop on one of those boats and go back to the old life. Hell, I wanted it. But he never took that step. So I didn’t, either.”
He was right, she had never had that kind of closeness with her father. As a child, she had adored him, but he had seldom been there after she was ten or eleven, and later … life had interfered. She had been close to her mother, but she had always been busy raising three children, doing charity work, and dealing with a husband who was moving around the world trying to keep it from blowing up. Yes, her life had been completely different from Brandon’s. There had been rules and expectations and the knowledge of what her future would probably bring. All that had changed on that day in the desert outside Kabul. She had learned that any rules and expectations were only what she brought to the table.
And that in the end she was alone.
Until Hu Chang had walked into that cell.
Brandon tilted his head. “You see? I’ve virtually bared my soul to you. Anything more?”
“I’m sure there is considerably more.” She had an idea that she had barely scratched the surface of Jude Brandon. There were so many fathoms of emotions and complications and experiences that had comprised the life he had revealed to her. “But right now I’d like to know why you decided to ‘bare’ your soul. I find it unusual. What’s behind it?”
“A gesture to get your trust?”
She shook her head.
“Actually that was partially true.” He put the boat on auto and turned toward her. In the space of seconds his demeanor had changed, and his expression was grim. “The other is that I have an occasional problem with breaking unpleasant news. I discovered that when I had to talk to the parents of my men who had been killed in action. I thought I’d toughened up where that was concerned, but I think I’m going to have trouble dealing with you.”
She stiffened. “Are you going somewhere with this?”
“Not very quickly or efficiently. I’m just telling you it helps me to think I’m giving something when I take something away.” His lips twisted. “And it’s always difficult for me to talk about my life with my dad. Maybe someday it won’t be, but that’s not yet.”
She didn’t like where this was going. She moistened her lips. “And what do you think you’re taking away from me, Brandon?”
He was silent. Then the next words came quietly.
“Carl Venable died the day before I came to Guyana to get you, Rachel.”
Shock. She jerked as if struck.
At first she couldn’t speak, she couldn’t breathe.
“No!”
“He’s dead,” Brandon said quietly. “I wouldn’t lie to you, Rachel. He was shot in the chest. I watched him die.”
She shook her head violently. “It’s not true. It didn’t happen. It’s some kind of mistake.” Her voice was shaking. “Or it’s some part of your damn agenda. But you don’t have tell me that to make me do what you want. I told you that I’d do whatever you—”
“Stop it!” He was suddenly on his knees beside her, his hands grasping her shoulders. “Shit, I didn’t know it was going to be this bad.” He was shaking her. “But I can’t take it. It’s not a lie or a mistake. So believe me, dammit.”
“But it has to be—” But what if it wasn’t? People died, even her father could die. But it shouldn’t have happened. Not Carl Venable. She had to tell Brandon that. His blue eyes were blazing, and his face was twisted as if with pain. He should know so that pain could go away. “It can’t be true. So how can I believe you?”
His hands were suddenly cupping her cheeks and he stared down into her eyes. “I was there. I couldn’t stop it. Believe me.”
And then she did believe him.
Gone. Emptiness. Nothingness. She felt as if everything inside her was splitting, cracking, twisting. She wanted to scream, but there was only that terrible silence inside her.
And he saw it and suddenly her face was pressed against his chest. “Don’t you let it hurt you,” he said fiercely. “You’re strong. I’ve seen you go through so damn much. I was hoping you didn’t really care for him. But you do, don’t you?”
“I don’t want it to mean anything,” she said dully. “I hoped I was over him, that I could shut out what he was to me. All the pain and the love and the sadness.” How strange it was to be held and comforted by this man who was every bit as hard as her father, saying
words she had never said to anyone. “But if I feel like this, then it wasn’t over. We weren’t through with each other. And now we never will be.”
“Shh.” His hand was on the back of her head. “It can be whatever you want it to be. You can do anything. Didn’t you save Maria? Didn’t you bulldoze me into going to get Sanford? All in twenty-four hours. You can work anything out.”
“This is … different. Do you know, I never thought of him dying? He was always too smart, too strong, always a step ahead of everyone.” Her voice was muffled. “Ahead of me. Because I wanted so badly to believe in him, to trust him. No matter what he did, I wanted to think that I was important to him, that he’d never want me to be hurt.”
“Maybe you were right,” he said hoarsely. “He sent me to you.”
“And then Bill and Nancy died…” She could feel the tears stinging her eyes. She had to stop this. He had said she was strong, but she did not feel strong. She was about to fall apart, and she did not want it to be in front of him. He was a stranger who suddenly was not a stranger. That made her even more vulnerable to him.
She straightened and pushed him away. “I’m sorry,” she said unsteadily. “My father and I did have … problems. In the past years it’s been … like a roller coaster. But all I can think of right now is the time when I was a very little girl and he was stationed at Langley. Isn’t that silly? I couldn’t have been more than six or seven. But he was busy and important and everything was exciting when he was around. Sometimes people would come to visit him at the house, and I could see they also felt it. And there were times when he’d stop what he was doing and he’d smile at me and I’d know—” She had to get away from here before those damn tears started to fall. “I have … other things I need to know from you. But I—” She had to stop before she could go on, “But I need some time alone now, please.”
He sat back on his heels, his gaze searching her face. “Yes you do. I was told there are rather primitive living quarters belowdecks.” He got to his feet and pulled her up. “Take some time. If you want to talk, I promise I won’t use it as a weapon.”
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