She gazed at him in shock. “And did they?”
“I still don’t know. I had to return one prisoner to get you released,” he said jerkily. “He disappeared into the hills and hasn’t been seen since. The other one conveniently escaped prison, at about the same time we’d heard that there was a Red Star presence in Kabul, before I could question him. I still haven’t been able to track him down. His name is Karim Ali Telvar and the last I heard, he’d left Afghanistan and was working for Conrad Huber in Shanghai.”
“You didn’t tell me all this,” she whispered.
“I had no proof. I still have no proof. I wasn’t about to give you excuses after what you’d gone through. Regardless, I’m still to blame. But I believe I’m close, Rachel. I have a good lead. I swear that once I’m sure that Red Star is responsible, I won’t let those bastards live no matter what the cost.” His tone was grimly absolute. “I promise you that nothing will stop me.”
“You should have told me.”
“I was afraid that you were right, that I’d made a terrible mistake because I wanted to keep my hands on that son of a bitch. I didn’t think I did, I prayed it wasn’t true, but I couldn’t be certain.”
“It would have helped me to know about…” But would it really, she wondered. It had been a time of pain and horror and bitterness. She thought that she would have been able to temper that with understanding, but she had been so young. “How do I know?” She drew a shaky breath. “But what I do know is that I called you before I knew any of this. And I did that because I wanted a fresh start, it was important to me. It’s still important.” She met his eyes. “Could we have that, please?”
He nodded. “Oh, yes, we can have that.” An eager smile lit his face. “I’ll be around so much that you’ll get bored with me. We have a lot of time to make up.”
She tried to laugh, but it came out a little husky. “Yeah, sure. That won’t happen. My hours are completely crazy, and you’re busy saving the world. I’ll be satisfied with seeing you occasionally.” She smiled. “But I like the thought. Maybe we could invite Hu Chang next time. He scorns my culinary abilities, but he actually cooks very well.”
“So do I.” He got to his feet. “And we’ll invite Hu Chang, but I like the idea of being alone with you and able to make myself at home here. Hu Chang seems to dominate any room, and I like to occasionally do a little dominating myself.” He headed for the coffeemaker on the kitchen counter. “I need to catch up.” He smiled at her over his shoulder. “Okay with you?”
Warmth, affection, understanding. They were all in that smile. She felt as if she were being wrapped, stroked, cuddled as she had been when he’d held her as a child. She hadn’t realized how lonely she’d been for that smile in these last years.
Lonely for him.
She smiled and slowly nodded. “Okay with me.”
EIGHTEEN MONTHS LATER
Carl Venable.
Rachel glanced at the ID on her phone and made a face. She hoped he wasn’t canceling again for tomorrow night. Her father had already broken two dinner dates in the last week because he’d had missions out of the country. Not that she had any reason to complain since she’d canceled on him the week before. As she’d first told him, they both lived busy lives. But it didn’t keep her from feeling disappointment when it happened. She always so looked forward to seeing him. He’d become such an integral part of her life during these last months that she felt empty and hollow without him. She accessed the call. “Okay, where are you going this time?”
“I’m just back.” He paused. “I need to talk to you, Rachel. Could I come over tonight?”
“Instead of tomorrow? Yes, I just got off duty. I should be home in about thirty minutes. Is everything all right?”
“No. Yes. Not what anyone would term perfect. I’m on my way to your place now. I’ll probably be there before you are.” He ended the call.
She slowly hung up. She didn’t like this.
She felt chilled and uneasy. Her father was usually cool and totally in control. He hadn’t sounded either on the phone. Anything that could disturb him to that extent couldn’t be good.
The door was unlocked when she got to the apartment. She had given Venable a key a few months after that first afternoon because it had seemed more convenient when they were trying to spend more time together “to catch up” as her father had termed it. She opened the door to see him across the apartment at the bar in the kitchen. She was used to seeing him there as he made coffee or cooked or poured a glass of wine for both of them. It was a casual and warming sight that she now valued.
But he did not look casual at the moment.
Her pulse leaped as she stood there in the doorway. “What’s happening?”
“Sit down and have a glass of wine.” He handed her a glass of her favorite red. “You may need it.” His lips twisted. “Or you might want to throw it at me. I’ll accept either response.”
She lifted the wine to her lips. “Why would I want to throw it at you?”
“Because I’ve done something that you could think unforgivable. I hope not, but it may take some time to—” He met her eyes. “I didn’t want to do it. It’s the last thing that I wanted to involve you in. But I couldn’t see any other foolproof way.”
“Foolproof?” She was staring at him in bewilderment. “What are you talking about?”
“I found Karim Ali Telvar.” His lips tightened grimly. “I told you I thought I was close. A month ago, I located him in Shanghai.” He paused. “And I made him talk.”
“And?”
“It was Red Star, special orders from Conrad Huber that coordinated the attack on your mother’s car through his Taliban affiliates. It was aimed at me, but you were the ones who paid the price. God I’m sorry, Rachel.”
It was shocking to know that her father had been right about that attack. She felt almost numb. “How could you know we’d be targeted? You had guards to protect us. It was so unexpected and vicious…”
“Vicious. Yes, that’s the word,” he said bitterly. “Kill the innocent, rape a young girl, murder a boy who had his whole life to live. I’ve been living with that ugliness since that night they told me what had happened in Kabul.” He looked at her. “And that’s not all. I’ve been living with the deaths Conrad Huber has been causing all over the world for decades. We can’t seem to stop him. Every attempt meets with massive reprisals. But I had to stop him. It’s my job and my duty as a human being.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying if Conrad Huber dies, we have a chance of the entire organization falling apart. He’s the powerhouse in the organization. His son, Max, pales in comparison. But we can’t have Max and Conrad’s advisor, Kraus, blowing up another office building to revenge his murder.” He paused. “His death had to look absolutely natural. No way to detect that he had anything but a massive heart attack brought on by purely natural means. There was no way that it wouldn’t be thoroughly investigated.” His glance moved slowly to her lab on the other side of the room. “I looked into every means we had at our disposal at Langley, but nothing was totally foolproof. It had to be absolutely perfect. So I began to look outside.”
She inhaled sharply because at last she could see where this was going. “My God, you want me to let you use one of the poisons I created.”
“No.” His gaze shifted back to her face. “I want to tell you I’ve already done it.”
She went still. “What?”
“Hu Chang told me years ago that you were almost as good as he was, and there’s no one better than Hu Chang. I knew he’d refuse to give me what I needed, so I had to find another way.”
She gazed at him, dazed. “Me?”
Silence. “Yes. Two weeks ago I came here and substituted a bottle from your cabinet where you keep your poisons. I had it tested and it was every bit as effective as I thought it would be.” He paused. “I received word thirty minutes before I called you tonight that the poison had been administered an
d Conrad Huber had collapsed in his home in Hong Kong with a massive heart attack.”
Shock. She couldn’t breathe, she could only stare at him.
This had to be a nightmare.
“I … killed him?”
“No!” He was across the room, his hands grasping her shoulders. “I killed him. You had nothing to do with it. You have absolutely no guilt. That’s why I made sure that you didn’t know.”
“But I … created that poison. I let you in my home where you could take it, where you could give it to Huber.”
“I was afraid of this.” His face was pale, twisted with pain. “Conrad and Max Huber are monsters. They killed your mother and your brother. They’ve killed hundreds of people since then. Three weeks ago, I heard they were planning on launching another terrorist attack on a cruise ship. Do you know how many deaths that would cause? It had to stop, Rachel.” His voice vibrated with agony. “You were on duty that night, and I came here and sat in the dark and looked at those bottles in the cabinet. It was as if all the years, all the killing Huber had done, had led to that one moment. It seemed as if fate had brought me to the one person who had the right to avenge all those deaths. You, Rachel.” His lips twisted bitterly. “Yet I knew how you’d feel. I knew what it was going to do to what we had together.”
“How … could you? You made … me a murderer. And you gave me no choice.” Her voice was shaking. “I think that might hurt the most. You gave me no choice.”
“It was the best way to keep you safe. I promise you that no one will ever know you were involved. I made certain that this wouldn’t touch you any more than it had to. The blood was all on my hands.”
“Was it?” She stared at the red wine in her goblet. Blood red. Would she ever be able to drink or even look at wine without remembering this conversation? “Then why do I feel … touched? You’ve told me about monsters, and I believe you. You’ve told me about the death of the mother and brother I love, and I’m hurting and angry for them. You say you wanted to protect me, but you only make me feel more helpless. It was the greatest sin I could ever commit, and I committed it blindly.” The tears were suddenly pouring down her cheeks. “Blindly. How could you do that to me? You gave me no choice.”
“I thought I was doing what I had to do in the most humane way possible.” He added bitterly, “I should have known I’d screw that up. If there’s any way of hurting you, I always seem to find it. It could be I lied to myself. Maybe I was afraid of asking you for your help even in fighting these monsters who had hurt us so terribly. You told me once that I ran toward the bad guys to battle and that your job was to come later and heal.” He released her shoulders and straightened. “But sometimes you have to go after them, Rachel. It’s the only right thing to do. Even if it makes you lose everything else you want.” His gaze was searching her face. “You’re not going to want to see me again?”
Yes, she wanted to see him. The idea of losing him again was agonizing even in this moment of bitterness and bewilderment. “I … don’t think I can. Everything’s changed … You shouldn’t have used me. You gave me no choice.”
“No, I didn’t. It will never happen again.” His eyes were fixed on her face. “From now on you’ll always have a choice where I’m concerned. Always yes or no.” He turned away and headed for the door. “And right now, it appears to be no, and good-bye.” He added thickly, “I love you, Rachel. I’ll miss you. Thank you for these months. They’ve meant everything to me. Remember that when you’re remembering what I did today.”
The door closed behind him.
PRESENT DAY
You’ll always have a choice where I’m concerned …
Venable’s words kept repeating over and over in Rachel’s mind as she sat staring blindly out the French doors. It was like a mantra trying to pound through the pain and the bewilderment to the truth of what she and her father were to each other.
But sometimes you have to go after them.
It’s the only right thing to do.
It will always be yes or no.
Rachel got up, moved the few yards to the French doors, and went out on the veranda. The moon was no longer hidden by clouds and was shimmering on the surf below her. She stood there, feeling the breeze on her cheeks and legs bared by the sleep shirt, breathing in the salt air.
But where was the feeling of peace and tranquility Brandon must feel, she thought wryly. It was just a big ocean in a bigger world that she had to face with more questions and dilemmas.
And she’d had enough of both.
She walked down the steps to the beach and dropped down on the sand. She drew up her knees and linked her arms around them. She felt like rocking back and forth as she had when she was a child and things had gone wrong for her. But she was not a child, and the things that had gone wrong would be much harder to fix.
“Is it helping?”
She turned to see Brandon standing on the veranda behind her. She had not heard him and was once more aware of the stillness that was such a part of him. “Not much,” she said unevenly. “I didn’t think it would. But I don’t believe my lab would offer any comfort either right now. It would bring back some very disturbing memories.” She turned her back on him again. “And I don’t believe I should be looking for comfort anyway. Why are you here? I’m fine, and I’m not going to run away. Go back to bed.”
“The hell I will.” His voice had a leashed ferocity that startled her.
“Suit yourself.” She steadied her voice. “Then you won’t mind if I ignore you. I think you’ve told me all you needed to tell me now. Unless you have some other surprise to spring on me.”
“No, I think that last message from Venable was enough to knock you down and cause you sufficient trauma for the time being,” he said roughly. “Catherine was right, he had no right to put you in the crosshairs. He shouldn’t have done it.”
“He didn’t really. You heard my father’s message. I have a choice. He promised he’d give me a choice, and he did it.”
“Promised?”
She was silent. Why was she even hesitating, she thought wearily. He knew so much already about her and her father. Why not this? “He didn’t give me a choice about the poison. He thought it was the right thing to do, but he didn’t ask, he took. He said he’d never do that again.”
“My God.” She heard movement behind her, and he was suddenly kneeling on the sand in front of her. “Damn, that must have hurt you…”
She nodded jerkily. “He did it for all the right reasons. To save lives, to revenge hundreds of deaths including our own family. And it hurt him, too. He knew he’d lose me again.” She swallowed. “And he did, you know. It sent me into a tailspin, and the next year, I signed up for One World. I believed in the cause, but now I’m wondering if I was also running away from what I’d done.”
“Bullshit, you didn’t know.”
“Because he wanted to protect me. But it also kept me from facing what I would have done if he’d come to me and asked. I’ve been thinking a lot about that tonight. What would I have said? And was I afraid that it would have been yes? If that was true, then that would have made me a complete coward to condemn him.” She paused. “And very cruel to let him face it alone.”
“There’s nothing cruel about you. Stop thinking like that.” His light eyes were glittering in his taut face. “Not everyone is like Venable … or me.”
“But he said I was like him. He told me there was always a moment that you couldn’t just wait to heal the wounds. He said that you had to go after the bad guys and stop them.” She gazed out at the dark surf. “But I didn’t stop them from killing my father. I wasn’t there to help him. I was in a dozen other countries healing and making the pain go away. I didn’t make his pain go away, did I?”
“Do you want to beat yourself up? Go ahead, but it doesn’t make sense. Remember, I couldn’t stop Venable from getting killed that day, either. I was too late, Rachel.”
“But you weren’t his daughter. You’re n
ot family. I told him once that if he was in trouble, I wouldn’t ever believe what others told me, that I’d go find out for myself. I lied, I wasn’t there for him.” She was saying words that hurt her, but they came from somewhere deep within. She suddenly realized that this was where she’d been heading earlier in the evening, then backed away in panic. The hidden thoughts and beliefs of years were coming together even as she spoke. “And killing Conrad Huber didn’t work, so he had to go after his son, Max, to stop the butchery. I didn’t help him then, either. And when Max found out that my father and I were to blame for Conrad’s death, I wasn’t there to try to figure out how it had happened, what we could do. And he wouldn’t come to me for the same reason as before, to protect and keep the guilt away from me.”
“You’re building Venable up to be some kind of hero.” Brandon’s gaze was narrowed on her face. “I don’t like this. I’ve seen how you respond when you—”
“He’s no hero. He’s made mistakes. But he always tried to do the right thing, and sometimes that translates to being a hero. I believe you realize that, don’t you?”
Silence. “Yeah, sometimes. Where is this going?”
“Where he wanted it to go.” Her gaze shifted back to his face. Suddenly everything was crystal clear, like a pattern laid out before her. “He told me it was time to make a choice. That’s what I’m going to do.” She slowly got to her feet and looked down at him. “No, that’s what I’ve done.” Her voice was suddenly vibrating with passion. “I’m going to go stop the bad guys and worry about healing wounds later. I’m going to find Max Huber and punish him for killing my father. I’m not going to hide and wait for someone to come and try to kill me. I’m not going to hope this Nemesis will do what my father told him to do. I’m going to go find him.” She smiled crookedly. “And if I choose, I’ll be the one to set myself up as bait and not wait for you.” She turned and started back toward the veranda. “So hold on tight, Brandon. It might be a wild ride.”
Vendetta Page 14
