Chase picked up the hand lying on the blanket and sat down on the edge of the bed. “Well?” he asked as he rearranged a strand of hair that was tangled around her arm.
“What happened?” Jenny croaked, and then tried to clear her throat. Chase handed her a cup of water and she gratefully took it, suddenly realizing how thirsty she was. He had to help her with it, her hands shook so when she tried to lift it. Then she realized that she needed to sit up, and she was helpless to stop him from gently pulling her up, supporting her with one arm while he helped her hold the cup with the other. His hand surrounded both of hers as she drained the cup, the water feeling wonderful on her parched throat. “I must look awful,” she apologized when she was done.
“I think you’re beautiful.” He dropped a kiss on the top of her head, then eased her back on the pillows. “Do you remember anything?”
Jenny’s mind rambled back over the past week, trying to separate dreams and hallucinations from reality. “You killed Mason,” Chase nodded. “Jamie burned the house?”
“Yes. Anything else?”
Jenny shook her head; the trip home did not exist.
“Do you remember the knife in the fire?” She saw the knife flying through the air, felt the sting in her hand, but said nothing. Chase saw the panic in her eyes but ignored it. She seemed so very fragile and he did not want to push her. “You came down with a fever. The doctor said you were probably bleeding somewhere inside and we would just have to see if it healed.”
That made sense to Jenny, she remembered taking some hard punches and kicks from Mason. She raised a hand to her face, where she remembered being hit. It was tender, but the swelling and cuts were gone.
“You’re practically healed there, from what I can see, but you’ll have to figure out your shoulder and ankle for yourself.”
Her shoulder felt all right, Jenny realized when she thought about it. Her ankle felt tender when she tried to flex the foot— she’d have to stand on it to find out if it was better. As for the rest, she felt the painful itch of healing scars and willed herself not to look under the blanket, under the high-necked gown, to see the brand over her heart. She could feel it, she couldn’t believe that it had not burned right through her coverings for everyone to see.
“Where’s Jamie?”
“Working. We’ve been taking turns. Grace got tired of having both of us under foot all the time so she said we had to go in shifts. Jason’s been great. He said neither one of us had to work until you were better, but we felt guilty about that so we work a little, sleep a little and stay with you as much as possible.” He gave her a lopsided smile, almost like an apology, and Jenny felt her heart leap in her chest. Chase saw the spark that lit her eyes for a second and decided to push on. “I’ve been working on the cabin.”
“The cabin?”
“Yes, the cabin. Remember Jason said we could have his old cabin to live in after we—”
“Could you get Grace for me?” Jenny hurriedly interrupted him, looking anxiously beyond for salvation.
“Sure, she’s fixing dinner. I’ll be right back.” He couldn’t hide the hurt that flashed in his eyes any more than Jenny could hide the haunted look in hers, but he knew she needed time, so he went for Grace.
“So you finally decided to join us?” Grace said to Jenny as she came into the room. “Chase is grinning like a fox. He’s been so worried about you.”
“He has?”
“Yes. Jamie too, but I finally had to run him off. He kept moping around and getting in my way.” Grace busied herself with plumping pillows and folding the quilt that she pulled off the window. “What do you want to do first, take a bath or eat?”
“A bath sounds nice, and my hair—”
“We will take care of it,” Grace went to the door. “Chase, bring the tub in here. Let’s get this girl cleaned up.”
“No!” Jenny exclaimed in panic. Grace was puzzled as she pulled the door shut behind her.
“What is it?”
“Chase—I don’t want him to see me.”
“He won’t. He’s just going to bring in the tub and fetch some water, that’s all.” Grace sat down on the bed and took up Jenny’s hands. “I know what that bastard did to you, but it won’t matter to Chase. He loves you.” Jenny turned her head away, but Grace brought it back around with a finger under her chin. “It’s just a scar, that’s all, like Jamie’s. It will heal and become a distant memory.”
“How can it, when I’ll know what it means.”
“What does it mean? It means that you were brutalized by a man with no soul, a man who’s dead and gone now, a man who will never touch you or your family again. Don’t let him have that power over you. He’s done enough to you in the past. Don’t let him destroy your future, too.” Grace smoothed back the tendrils of hair that were scattered around Jenny’s face. “Now, let’s get you washed and dressed and fed, and your hair brushed, and then you’ll be ready to see everyone who has been so worried about you. Okay?”
Jenny nodded in agreement as she dashed away the tears that had gathered at the corners of her eyes. They heard the clumping on the porch that meant Chase had gotten the tub, and he smiled at Jenny as he placed it in a comer of the room. Grace sent him for buckets of water while she set some to heat and laid out towels. Grace had to help Jenny to the chamber pot, because her ankle would not support her; then she helped her ease into the tub. That small bit of movement exhausted her so much that she lay back and let Grace wash her hair as the hot water eased away the aches and pains that had accumulated after a week of being flat on her back.
Jenny ran a soapy cloth over her body and was shocked to find her ribs and hips sticking out prominently. She sucked in her breath when she felt a scab fall away from her breast, taken up by the washcloth, but she refused to look down, even when she caught sight of a trickle of blood out of the comer of her eye. She felt brittle and fragile, as if a slight breeze would blow her away, and wondered how she would ever find the strength to get out of the tub. She finally had to move after Grace wrung out her hair and the water began to chill and set her teeth to chattering. Grace helped her out and wrapped her hair up in a towel after she had dressed her in a long, frilly gown. Grace opened the door and summoned Chase, who was busy stirring a pot of soup that she had left bubbling on the stove.
“I need to change these linens,” she explained, “and you need a dose of fresh air. Chase, take her outside to the swing and I’ll bring her something to eat.”
Jenny wanted nothing more than to climb back into bed and pull the blankets over her head, but Grace had already thrown the sheets onto the floor. Jenny was leaning against the bedpost, her foot barely touching the floor, but she managed to take up her quilt before it slid into a heap with the rest of the linens. Chase took it from her arms and wrapped it around her shoulders before he slid his arm down around her knees, scooping her up in his arms. Jenny had no choice but to wrap an arm around his neck as he tried to get a solid grip on her through the thickness of the quilt. Her head was against his shoulder, his hair tickling her nose, and she couldn’t help inhaling his scent, the smell of outdoors, homemade soap, horse and leather, with just a hint of onion from the steam of the soup. Grace handed him a hair brush as he walked through the door with strict instructions not to yank Jenny’s hair out. He laughed as he took it and commented on her bossy ways getting out of control.
Being outside again felt like hitting a wall. It was too big, too bright, too loud. Chase sat down with her in the swing, holding her tightly against him as she hid her head against his neck, trying to slow the assault on her senses. Chase didn’t say a word, just pushed the swing a little with his knees until the gentle swaying calmed the rapid pounding of her heart. Her arms were around his neck, her fingers tangled in his hair, and she relaxed against him, until she could feel his heart beating against her forearm. Jenny’s fingers ached to feel his skin under them, and she eased her hand down until it was pressed against his heart, feeling the poundin
g that had suddenly accelerated. It was all she could manage for now, it had to be enough, and he took it gratefully, turning his head to press a whisper of a kiss on her forehead.
Jenny settled against him, suddenly grateful that she was alive, that she was in a place she’d never expected to be again. When Jamie rode away from the ranch that day, she had not given thought to anything beyond the fact that he was still alive, and then she had thought of nothing but staying alive, until the desire to be dead and no longer feel the pain and despair had taken over everything else. But now, miraculously, here she was, home, and safely held in the arms of the man who loved her. She felt the strength in his thighs as he flexed them beneath her, just that hint of a movement making the swing sway gently in the crisp air of the fall afternoon. His arms held her lightly, they were a secure presence that kept her from falling to the porch floor, but did not make her feel trapped. His hair was silky against the skin of her cheek, the dark length of it warm against her pale skin.
If only life would stop now, Jenny thought. If this moment would last forever, if I didn’t have to face him, if only he didn’t have to see.
“Ready for me to do your hair?” Chase asked softly against her forehead. “I’d hate to get Grace mad at me for disobeying her orders.”
Jenny did not want to move, but she also did not want to protest, so she let him slide her into the seat beside him and pull the towel away from her hair. She threw an arm over the back of the swing as he turned around and braced his outside leg against the end, giving her a barrier that would keep her from tumbling out. Chase took the brush and began with the ends, taking handfuls of hair up and brushing out the tangles until he had worked his way up her back to the base of her neck. Each little motion of the brush pulled her head back until the rhythm of the swing and the brush were in sync. When he got up to her scalp, the gentle massaging sent shivers down her back.
“Are you cold?” he asked as he stopped to pull the quilt up around her shoulders again.
“No, it just feels good.”
Jenny’s hair was dry now, the golden ends softly curling under, the new short growth around her hairline flying up and floating gently around her face. Her eyes were half closed in cat-like contentment and had a dreamy glow to them which Chase could not see from behind. He dropped the brush and began to massage her shoulders, moving his long fingers up and down her upper arms until she was sure she would be unable to hold a spoon if she had to.
Jenny was soon put to the test. Grace came out with a tray holding a steaming bowl of soup and several biscuits. Jenny’s mouth began to water as Grace placed the tray on a small table.
“I can’t even remember the last time I ate.”
“Well, don’t overdo it, or you’ll lose it,” Grace cautioned as Jenny
picked up a biscuit and pulled the flaky layers apart. Just as she it into it, Jamie came riding up to the porch, a wide grin on his face.
“Hey, you’re alive!” He helped himself to a biscuit as he stepped up on the porch.
“Barely,” Jenny said around her own biscuit. Chase was smiling broadly behind her as he recognized the easy banter that passed between the two.
Jamie swung a straight-backed chair over and straddled it on the other side of the small table that held Jenny’s dinner. “I think you need some help with this, sis.” He took the spoon and began stirring it through the soup, one russet eyebrow cocked up at Chase as if he was seeking permission.
“Bring that spoon out of that bowl and you’ll wish you hadn’t,” Jenny said confidently from her seat in the swing. Jamie leaned back in the chair and looked at her. She had been at death’s door, that much was evident from her pale looks and the great circles under her eyes, but there she sat, wrapped in their mother’s quilt, the ruffle of a snow-white gown gracing her slender neck, her hair hanging long and framing her face, and her sapphire-blue eyes once again dancing with life. She did not have the strength to swat a fly, but she was sassing him, and Jamie’s heart did a somersault in his chest.
Chase’s hand came around her shoulder and gave her arm a gentle squeeze. One day at a time, Jenny told herself. Maybe we can get through this.
Chapter Thirty-one
Day by day Jenny grew stronger until she was able to make her way around, limping on the sprained ankle but managing on her own. She helped Grace out where she could, sitting at the table peeling potatoes or working on the never-ending pile of mending, but would then have to take a nap in the afternoon, her strength drained by the simple chores. Grace watched her carefully, marking the days but never mentioning why. Chase went back to work and spent what time he could repairing the cabin, replacing broken windows, nailing down new boards, fixing things that were broken. He wanted desperately to bring her to the cabin and make Jenny his wife, but he had decided that once again he needed to be patient, letting Jenny come around to the realization that they belonged together, and he waited, knowing that when she was ready, she would let him know.
Early one Saturday Jamie showed up at the door to Grace’s cabin with Jenny’s horse. “Let’s go for a ride,” he said to Jenny. Grace handed her a sack of food so Jenny knew there had been a conspiracy of some sort, but she went along, expecting to find Chase involved somehow. He was working on the cabin when they rode by. He stood and waved at them, sweat glistening on his bare chest from the surprisingly warm day.
“You haven’t even been in there yet,” Jamie commented as they rode by.
“I thought I’d wait until he was done.”
“Uh-huh.” They rode on in silence, letting the horses make their way. The days of rest had done Jenny a lot of good. She had started to fill out again, losing the hard angles that had been hers after the illness. She had picked up some color also, and the morning in the sun had turned her nose a soft pink. “So what are your plans?” Jamie asked as the horses plodded along.
“Plans?”
“Yeah, you know, your plans. What are you going to do now?”
Jenny looked at him in surprise and then turned quickly away. Jamie reached out and grabbed her reins, pulling her horse to a stop. He pulled his hat off and raked his hand through his hair, then turned the hat around in his hands, searching for the right angle to replace it on his head. He finally got it situated the way he wanted and put it back, arranging his hair before he placed the hat firmly on. Jenny waited, knowing he was searching for words, but she wasn’t sure if she wanted to hear them.
“I never told you how much ... I know that, damn ...”
“Jamie, what is it?”
“You saved my life. You saved both of our lives actually, but at the time I didn’t want to see that. I just want you to know that I wish it hadn’t happened. I wish there was something I could have done to stop it. I’m sorry for what happened to you. . . .” His voice trailed off as Jenny reached out for his arm.
“You are my brother. I love you, that’s all there is to it. I know you would have done the same for me if it came down to it.”
Jamie nodded in agreement as he looked off at the mountains in the distance. “It just seems like you’ve made all the sacrifices and I’ve always let you down. Even back at the mission, I wouldn’t leave when you wanted to, and—”
“Jamie, we’ve just had incredibly bad luck. We just happened to get in the way of some bad people. It’s not your fault, it’s not mine, and it certainly wasn’t Dad and Momma’s. Sometimes bad things happen to good people, that’s all.”
“But maybe things could have been different if—”
“But they aren’t, so lets not dwell on it. Let’s look at what we do have and be grateful for it.”
“Okay,” Jamie agreed after he had thought about it for a minute. “So what do you have to be grateful for?”
“I don’t know. A home, friends, a big oaf of a brother.”
“And?”
“And what?”
“What about Chase?” Jamie asked, looking sideways at his sister.
“What about Chase?” J
enny began to feel uncomfortable, as if walls were closing in on her. Her horse felt her tense up and took a few steps to the side. Jamie dismounted and reached up to pull Jenny down beside him. They dropped the reins to let the horse browse and made their way to a boulder that stuck up among the coarse grass.
“Chase loves you,” Jamie said when they had settled on the boulder.
“I know,” Jenny sighed. She pulled her knees up under her chin and wrapped her arms around her legs.
“So what are you going to do about it?”
“I don’t know.”
“Are you scared?” Jamie tossed a pebble into the sea of grass. “What happened was awful, but it won’t be like that with Chase, I promise.”
“I know, I know he wouldn’t hurt me, but. ..”
“He wouldn’t mind the brand, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Jamie said without looking at her.
Jenny’s head flew up in shock, and she looked at Jamie with worried eyes. “How do you know about the brand?”
“I saw it. When Jason set your arm, we all saw it.”
“Who saw?”
“Me, Jason, Cat, Ty, then Grace and the doctor of course.”
“Does Chase know?”
“I haven’t told him. I don’t think anyone else would tell him, either. That’s something that’s personal between you and him.” Jenny laid her forehead down on her knees. “It won’t matter to him.”
Chase the Wind Page 41
