Everything inside Keiffer stiffened as the words ricocheted through his brain. God…could he relate.
Kerri set a pot of coffee on the table and changed the subject. “How’s Brandi feeling?”
He was grateful for both.
“Tired, but good. Thanks,” his brother-in-law replied, light chasing the shadows from behind his eyes.
“And you?” Connor cleared his throat. “You…ah…you doin’ all right? No problems with your stomach?”
“Me?” Kade sat back and frowned. “No, my stomach’s fine. Why?”
The cowboy dropped his gaze to his plate. “No reason. Just wondered.”
A ghost of a smile twitched Kerri’s lips as she settled in the chair next to her husband and added pancakes to her plate. Keiffer got the impression she knew the reason for her husband’s strange questions.
Since none of it concerned him, he remained quiet, ate his food, and let the others converse. Once upon a time, he used to be vocal and outgoing, but now he preferred to blend in and keep the world at bay. It was safer. Uncomplicated. Investing in a friendship was too costly. He’d learned the hard way.
The back door suddenly burst open and a familiar blur in denim rushed in, sending a shock of awareness straight through his body.
Caitlin Ryan.
The one damn woman he’d hoped to avoid for as long as possible. Considering he would be living on the same ranch as her sister, he knew they’d meet up eventually. But on the first damn morning? Christ, he had shit for luck.
“Kerri, I can smell that bacon all the way outsi—” She stopped dead and those baby blues that haunted his dreams widened the instant they rested on him. “Keiffer? H-hi.”
His heart leapt in his chest. There hadn’t been movement in that area for so long, he thought his heart was gone. Shriveled into oblivion. Dammit. He preferred it that way.
“Caitlin.” He nodded when Kerri got up to grab a bag off the counter, leaving his field of vision wide open. Damn, he was grateful Kade had him boxed in, making it impossible to stand and show good manners like he had with Kerri. Last thing he needed was to touch the mesmerizing woman.
“I—I heard you were coming in to visit your sister.” A blush rose up into her cheeks as she shifted on her feet
He tried not to notice the way the denim hugged her sweet curves, or how the loose-fitting T-shirt she wore under an unzipped hoodie brushed the gorgeous swell of her chest, a chest he remembered to be pink-tipped and perfect.
Awareness skittered through his groin and twitched his crotch to life. Damn. The woman was lethal. Normally it took a naked one to get those results. Not good. He didn’t like being out of control. Didn’t like feeling. And he sure as shit didn’t like the compassion darkening her gaze.
“Yeah, he’s going to keep an eye on things while I’m gone,” Kade replied for him.
She nodded and took the bag Kerri handed her. “Well, I didn’t mean to interrupt. I just stopped in for these breakfast sandwiches for Lacey and me. Nice to see you again, Keiffer.”
Breakfast sandwiches...
All the air suddenly seemed to be sucked from the room. He stiffened and broke out in a sweat, his chest so tight it was hard to breathe. Try as he might, he couldn’t stop the images of the morning he’d taken sandwiches to Greg from shooting through his head. He could feel everyone’s gaze on him, waiting, expecting him to answer, but…dammit, he was having enough trouble just keeping his shit together. Convincing himself that the walls weren’t really closing in. That his head and chest weren’t really in a vise.
That he wasn’t back in that damn garage.
As if from a distance, he heard Kade reply and Connor utter something that caused a chorus of laughter. Keiffer concentrated on breathing in on three and out on three, and his body told him the moment Caitlin left. Awareness disappeared about the same time the ringing in his ears subsided and his vision cleared.
Shit.
He reached for the glass of water Kade pushed his way and sucked down every last drop. Coming to Harland County was a mistake. A big damn mistake. He knew it, knew it was still too soon to meet up with family and friends.
Being around strangers was easy, whether it was one or a hundred.
The ones he cared about were the problem.
But he made a promise to his sister and intended to keep it.
With the exception of Brandi, he was going to have to distance himself from people, especially Caitlin. Stimulation was the key to triggering his ‘episodes’, and that woman stimulated the hell out of him.
***
Keiffer Wyne was in Harland freakin’ County.
Not even the crisp December wind off the Gulf could cool the heat in Caitlin Ryan’s face. She stood by her car, closed her eyes, and sucked in several deep breaths, willing the crazy tension in her body to dissipate. This was nuts. She was a college educated woman with a job she enjoyed, her own car, her own place, and her own darn mind.
Too bad she didn’t have control of her stupid body.
She opened her eyes and blew out a breath in disgust, a disgust that increased when she lifted an unsteady hand to open her door. Really? Unbelievable. She fished the keys from her pocket, got in her car and set the bag on the seat next to her. What was her problem? It wasn’t as if she hadn’t known the guy was coming. She did. She’d known for a while now. Granted, she hadn’t known exactly when, but she had known Keiffer was arriving any day.
Two weeks ago, she’d been at Shadow Rock assisting her boss, Doctor Sawyer Kirkland with routine exams of the work horses when Brandi had returned from her oldest brother’s wedding and happily announced her youngest brother had finally agreed to visit. Caitlin’s heart had rocked in her chest and hadn’t set right ever since.
Bloody stupid.
Driving the short distance to her friend’s shop, “Briscoe Leather and Quilted Lacey”, she calmed her mind in preparation for their Saturday morning breakfast ritual. She brought the sandwiches, and her friend, Lacey Turner, supplied the coffee—of which Caitlin was in dire need.
Big time.
Since it was before the shop opened, she knocked on the glass door of a store in a sidewalk full of quaint little shops.
“Mornin’, sunshine,” Lacey said, opening the door, her black hair tipped in a festive layer of red, then green. “Wind must’ve picked up. Your cheeks are certainly rosy today.”
Caitlin snorted, shoved the bag into her friend’s hands, then followed the enticing aroma of caffeine straight to the back room.
“O-o-oh…so it’s not the wind.” Lacey was at her side in an instant, smiling at her with an interested expression glued to her face. “Then who’s the guy who brought the color in your cheeks?”
She poured a good helping of peppermint mocha creamer into the bottom of the cup before filling it the rest of the way with dark roast.
“Well? Come on…who is he?”
“Keiffer,” she replied, then sipped her coffee, willing the deliciousness to calm her foolish nerves.
“He’s here?” Lacey pulled out their breakfast sandwiches and set them on the cleared fabric table in the middle of the room. “Where? What’d you say? What’d he say?”
“Yes, at the Pub. I told him it was nice to see him. You know, all that normal kind of stuff.” She removed the lid and added more creamer, because peppermint mocha was her only vice this time of the year and she needed it…dammit.
“What’d he say?”
“Hi, Caitlin.”
“And?”
She shrugged. “And what? That’s it.”
“Nothing else?”
“Nope.”
Lacey frowned. “Did you at least get a hug?”
“Nope,” she repeated. “He was stuck in a corner with Kade in his way. Although, I doubt he would’ve bothered.”
“All right, then at least tell me what he looked like? Everything you remembered?”
Yeah. “And more.”
Her friend groaned. “Come on. Tell m
e. I already know the zing is still there. The color in your face gives it away.”
Shoot.
“That’s just great.” She dropped onto a stool opposite her friend and sighed. “The last thing he needs is to worry about me wanting to jump his bones.”
A black brow arched. “Do you?”
“What?”
“Do you want to jump his bones?” Lacey asked, before biting into her sausage, egg, and cheese sandwich.
Yes. No.
“I...I don’t know. Maybe. I mean, it’s been a long time. A lot has happened since our weekend together.” She waved a hand in the air. “But it really doesn’t matter. He isn’t interested.”
“How do you know? He obviously didn’t tell you, since he only said two words, and one was your name. Which is a good sign, by the way. Means your weekend was memorable.”
It did?
Warmth spread through Caitlin’s chest and she would’ve chastised herself for feeling good about that, except…she felt good about that. While she chewed on her sandwich, she let her mind drift back to the hot weekend and how wanted and amazing he’d made her feel.
“So, how does he look? Better? Worse?”
Bringing her mind back to the present, she drew in a shaky breath and expelled it slowly. “Both. His hair is long. Like almost brushing his shoulders long.”
“That could be a good thing.” Lacey grinned. “You can grab hold and keep him where you want him…if you know what I mean.”
Oh, she knew all right, and now all her good parts were tingling, remembering where she liked him most. But Caitlin kept it to herself. Letting her mind wander down that road was way too dangerous. She sipped her coffee and brought her mind back to his changed appearance.
“His eyes are dark. Troubled. His teasing glint and cocky grin are gone. Although, maybe I just couldn’t see the grin under his beard.”
“Beard?” Lacey stilled and her eyes rounded. “Keiffer has a beard?”
Nodding, she wondered why her friend’s grin broadened.
“Damn, girl. You are going to enjoy the hell out of that. Trust me. There’s extra pleasure when he—”
“Stop! I get the picture.” Her whole body was tight with tension now. But experiencing what her friend alluded to wasn’t likely, since she and Keiffer would not be having sex again.
“I’m not sure you do, Caitlin. It really is something. Why do you think I encourage Jesse not to shave in between drill weekends?”
She narrowed her eyes. “I thought you just liked the scruffy look.”
“Well, there’s that, but…so much more.” The grinning woman sipped her coffee and winked. “You’ll see.”
“Right.” She snorted. “One would have to get close for that to happen, and trust me, Keiffer is not going to let anyone close. He gave off this stay-away-from-me vibe.”
“It’s not going to work. I know you.” Lacey shook a finger at her. “You are a sucker for a wounded puppy, cat, horse, roadrunner, coyote, shark, bigfoot, or whatever.”
It was no secret she loved helping animals and strays, and the reason she became a veterinary assistant. But now Sawyer and several of the local ranchers were trying to talk her into going back to school to become a veterinarian.
“There’s no way you’re going to be able to resist helping your old flame.” Her friend smirked.
Good point. Her heart always got in the way. Especially at work. There were times she struggled to remain detached. But Keiffer was different, and not a problem. She finished her sandwich and nodded. “I’ll be able to resist him. And you know why? Because he doesn’t want help. He’ll make a point to steer clear of me.” Her shoulders slumped. “But you’re right. I’m nothing but a pushover. I don’t have a backbone. I’m weak.”
“Bullshit.” Anger suddenly flashed in Lacey’s eyes. “You are one of the strongest women I know. You dealt with a shitty childhood, including an abusive father.”
“Yeah, by hiding in a closet and staying quiet like my mother and sister told me.” Then sat by while they…she halted that painful train of thought. “I wasn’t the strong one. Shayla was.” Pushing away from the table, she tossed her garbage in the trash and wished she could do the same with her dark memories.
“Bullshit,” Lacey repeated with more force. “You’ve been subjected to more than most people. You need to give yourself more credit. I know what it’s like to live through abuse. One either crumbles, or perseveres. You and I, we’re the latter.”
She cupped Lacey’s shoulder. “You are, for sure.” At a young age, her friend had dealt with constant ridicule and abuse from kids when her dad had been diagnosed HIV positive after a blood transfusion. And a few years ago, the amazing woman had bounced back from having broken her back in a fall from a horse. “I want to be like you when I grow up.”
Her friend laughed. “No, you don’t. You’ll end up with an attitude larger than a McCall prized bull, and a potty mouth worse than a sailor.” Lacey turned to face her fully. “I want to be like you when I grow up.”
“Why would you want to be a plain-Jane pushover who can’t keep a boyfriend?”
The woman reeled back, and the amusement faded from her blue eyes. “Is that really how you see yourself?”
Turning away from the scrutiny, she shrugged. “It’s no secret that I’m not model material and my heart’s bigger than my brain.”
“First off, none of us are former supermodels like Gwen. That bitch. Good thing she’s our friend, and not stuck up, or I’d have to hate her.”
Caitlin chuckled. Their friend was a former supermodel but happy living with her very hot volunteer firefighter cowboy guardsman, and cooking over at the Pub.
“And second,” Lacey continued, getting right in Caitlin’s face. “There are plenty of guys who fall all over themselves to get your attention. You just don’t give them the time of day. And my guess is because they’re not Keiffer.”
She jerked her head back and snorted as she refilled her cup. “Don’t be ridiculous. I don’t compare guys to Keiffer. That would be stupid. We were never a thing.”
“Doesn’t matter,” Lacey said, joining her at the coffee maker. “Seems the guy’s left a lasting impression and you subconsciously hold him in your heart. Trust me, I know all about that too. Jesse occupied mine for years before we finally confronted the attraction.”
Caitlin nodded while stirring more creamer into her coffee. “’Bout time too. When we were working at Foster’s Creamery, and he stopped in, I swear the place was going to go up in flames the way you two ogled each other.”
Although she wouldn’t trade working as a vet tech with Doc Kirkland, Caitlin did miss the fun she and Lacey had at the ice cream shop. Between the woman’s can-do, upbeat attitude and her blunt mouth, there had never been a dull moment.
“The man just does it for me, you know?” Lacey’s tone softened to match her expression. “Does Keiffer do it for you?”
Since Caitlin wasn’t sure exactly what “do” meant, she shrugged. “I don’t know. We really haven’t been around each other, and I highly doubt we’ll get the chance to find out during his stay.”
“You never know.” Her friend cocked her head. “Guess time will tell.”
She opened her mouth to respond but a call from her boss changed her train of thought.
“Ah, duty calls,” Lacey said once Caitlin hung up.
Shoving her phone back in her pocket, she nodded. “Yeah, old Charlie got loose again and into the neighbors roses.” The sweet older horse was a notorious escape artist, and a regular patient due to his misadventures. At least once a month they were called to take care of Charlie.
Her friend’s chuckle filled the air. “He’s a character, and damn fortunate to have a loving owner.”
She blew out a disgusted breath. “Unlike some.”
Anger heated her blood and her stomach tightened as she thought about last night and the assortment of animals that she and Sawyer had tended to at Kade’s. The two emaciated h
orses were the worst.
“I heard about the rescues. Jesse’s there now,” Lacey stated, gaze sparkling with a shared fury.
Along with several cats and dogs, a pair of two-year-old geldings had been seized from a property an hour north and transported to Shadow Rock Rescue, part of the Dalton’s ranch sectioned off specifically for animal rescue. For the better part of five hours, Caitlin and Doc Kirkland had done all that they could, but it had been too late for one of the geldings, and the other was just barely hanging on.
“I don’t get people.”
“Me, either.”
More than once, she wondered if the conditioning from childhood had been in preparation for her job. Years of retreating into the safety of the mental “closet” she’d created paved the way for a similar practice now. It provided a space for her to store her emotions when she needed to distance herself in order to work on a patient.
Yesterday, she’d used it to lock her emotions away for the horses in order to help them, and even though she wanted to mourn the one they’d lost, there was still another under their care. Well…Kade’s care. But Sawyer put her in charge of daily check-ins.
She normally did them in the morning, but she was supposed to have lunch with Brandi and Shayla today, so before she left the ranch she’d check in on the horse.
And Keiffer.
Shoot. Where’d that thought come from?
She was not going to bother the guy. No. He was in town to visit his sister and help out at Shadow Rock, not to see her to follow through on the old flirting they used to do in texts or social media.
That was the old Keiffer, not the new one. Now he was aloof and troubled and so uncomfortable around people she’d felt his unease clear across the room. Its fingers crept over her shoulders and prickled.
But she was not going to do anything about it. Not going to try to help. Nope. She was going to do her daily routine, work, hang out with friends, family, and nieces. There was no time for anything more. Especially a troubled old flame who isn’t interested in hooking up again.
Especially that.
Chapter Two
After Kade dropped him off at his truck, Keiffer hooked his phone to the radio and accessed his Breaking Benjamin playlist, letting the metal-tinged alternative rock soothe him. It was a crutch for his psyche, but he didn’t care. He even carried earphones and often used them while attending his ranch duties. The music calmed him.
Her Troubled Cowboy (Harland County Series Book 9) Page 2
