“I can’t help it, Ok?” she bit back. “These small town boys can’t handle me. I’m too much woman for them!”
I burst out in laughter at Piper’s expense. She was usually overly dramatic, but at least this time she had a reason to be. I sobered though when I realized she wasn’t completely to blame that night, but had to carry the guilt of her manipulated actions on her own. I wished for the first time in my entire life that she knew the complete truth about me and I could share what really happened Friday night with her.
Usually Piper was my reminder of everything good and innocent about humanity, my escape from the weight of my destiny. I had never shared my secret with her and had no intentions of destroying her rose colored glasses of the world any time soon. But today, watching my best friend flush deep crimson from the reminder of the other night, I wanted desperately to tell her that her actions weren’t entirely her fault.
“Lincoln’s so shy, Piper. I’m sure it doesn’t really have anything to do with you! He’s probably just still trying to figure out what happened,” I offered, trying to console her. I turned my attention to the mirror and huffed at my blonde hair. Star or not, the static cling from winter was doing all kinds of science experiments on my head.
“Ok, that’s the thing!” Piper declared as the first bell rang. We gathered our books and headed toward the door. “He knew exactly what was happening while it was…. happening,” she lowered her voice to a whisper on the other side of the bathroom door. “But now it’s like I’m the bad guy!”
Up ahead, Tristan and Seth stood awkwardly next to each other by my locker. We worked our way through the scattering crowd to get to them. Tristan and Seth were definitely the most gorgeous things in the entire city of Mead, possibly the entire state of Nebraska, even more possibly the complete universe…. but it was hard to take them seriously when they could barely stand the sight of each other and held pissing contests like they were trapped in the third grade.
“He’ll come around,” I assured Piper, dropping my voice to meet her pitch. “And if not, you didn’t really like him anyway, right?”
“That’s not what I’m worried about,” she pouted.
I turned to give her my full attention before we reached the boys. “Then what are you worried about?”
“I just don’t want to be labeled a super slut for one mistake at one party….” she finished, and it was then that I saw the real fear in her eyes. For as little as Piper cared about high school drama and the small town politics that sometimes surrounded us, she really did put pride her in reputation. She had created an image for herself and it was different than everyone else, but it was the image she created, she had control over it.
“The first person that even thinks you’re a super slut is going to have to deal with me,” I threatened in a growly voice.
“Yeah, because you’re scary,” she rolled her eyes, but I saw the light behind them rekindle. Humanity was funny; as long as humans didn’t feel alone they seemed to be able to face anything.
Maybe it just wasn’t humanity though. My future had seemed pretty bleak and undoable until Seth showed up. Maybe every kind of species did better working together.
“Who’s scary?” Tristan asked pulling me into a hug. His arms went around me with decidedly less fervor than usual and I realized it actually felt kind of awkward with other people watching us.
“Stella,” Piper replied, nudging me in the arm with her elbow after I stepped away from Tristan. “She’s my muscle.”
“You’re muscle?” Seth questioned, leaning toward Piper attentively.
“Yeah, you know, like if I need to beat someone up? I’ll just send Stella to take care of them,” Piper replied very seriously.
Seth stayed silent, taking in Piper’s comment. I could tell he was trying to decide if she was serious or not and at the same time figure out how much I had told her.
“Yeah, because Stella really looks like she’s muscle material,” Tristan laughed, rolled his eyes and covered for the uncomfortable silence that had fallen from Seth.
“Shut up!” I squealed and then punched Tristan in the arm for good measure.
The second bell rang and we were all officially late for class. Piper and Seth turned toward class and fell into easy conversation, while Tristan and I followed behind them. I looked over at Tristan ready to say hello properly when I noticed the faint shades of blue and black under his right eye.
“What is that?” I demanded, reaching up to press on it. I should have brushed at it nicely, played the attentive and concerned friend, but something about the evidence of Tristan in an actual altercation made me really angry and even angrier when I realized he kept it from me. So I pushed on it kind of hard.
“Ow!” He laughed, pushing my hand away. “What was that for?”
“You should have told me you got into a fight!” I accused him, stopping short of the door to government even though we were already late.
“And you should have told me you left the party early to go to one of your fights or whatever they’re called,” he accused right back, his crystalline green eyes narrowing angrily at me.
“What?” I asked surprised, dropping my voice again. “How did you know?”
“This, right here,” he lifted my hair back and ran his finger down the side of my neck slowly. “You didn’t have that before you left Friday night.”
“Stella, Tristan,” Mrs. Trinker called from inside the classroom. “You can finish your conversation later or in detention, you choose!”
Tristan traced the faint scar with his thumb, staring at me for a moment more. I knew he wasn’t happy with me for keeping the truth from him, but all I could do right now was concentrate on not concentrating on his thumb on my neck. Mrs. Trinker cleared her throat impatiently from inside the classroom and I broke away from the trance of his gaze.
I cleared my throat and focused on Government, which was really difficult. But if I had any chance of making it through today I needed to push any thoughts of the Darkness far away and forbidden thoughts of Tristan’s fingers on my skin even farther away….
----
Lunch was awkward. Like really, really awkward….
“So Rigley, excited for your college visit this weekend?” I asked casually, hoping to break some of the tension.
Rigley had been more quiet than usual because he felt bad about Lincoln’s house getting nearly destroyed Friday night. Lincoln, who was usually quiet, hadn’t said a word to anybody because he was mad at Rigley and because of the tension between him and Piper. Piper was completely absent from lunch today. Tristan was taking turns glaring at me over his ham sandwich and talking to Bree, which I found completely annoying so I was returning his glares with ones of my own. And Seth sat next to me, taking in all the drama like he had front row tickets to a Jerry Springer show.
“Uh, yeah, sure,” Rigley answered, pushing his bag of chips around the table idly. “I’m not really sure what the point of it is, but my parents want me to go, so….” he shrugged his shoulders as if he could care less.
“Why don’t you want to go?” Seth asked.
“Well, it’s just that I know where I want to go already, but they want me to ‘explore every option,’” Rigley explained, using his fingers for air quotes.
“And where do you want to go?” Seth pressed.
“UNL obviously, but they want me to see if I can get an athletic scholarship at a smaller school,” Rigley shrugged his shoulders again and went back to his chips.
“You can’t get an athletic scholarship to UNL?” Seth asked. I smiled at the way the University of Nebraska at Lincoln’s abbreviation came unnaturally off his lips, when everyone else in the room had been dreaming about that school since infancy.
Rigley answered Seth with a short laugh and an enthusiastic shake of his head, “Yeah right, I’m no Tristan Shields.”
“Shut it,” Tristan threatened.
“UNL is a huge university,” I explained gently to Seth. “T
hey have a very competitive athletic program, especially in football.”
“So you either have to be really good,” Rigley continued, “Or have older brothers that can sweet talk you a spot onto the team.”
“And which one are you?” Seth asked Tristan honestly, although the air around our table suddenly became thick with tension.
“A little of both,” Tristan half-growled. I was the only one to notice the way the tips of his cheekbones reddened with embarrassment at the mention of his future career and the way his torso shifted uncomfortably. Tristan hated being compared to his older brothers, and hated it even more when people insinuated that they were the only reason he could play for the Huskers.
“So what do you think you’ll do?” I asked Rigley, hoping to defer the coming storm. “Your choice or your parents’ choice?”
“They’re the ones footing the bill,” Rigley answered, lifting his shoulders as if he didn’t have a choice. “But I’m hoping they see how badly I want UNL and give up their dream of a college athlete for a son.”
“It must be nice to have parents so invested in your future,” Seth offered.
I turned to look at him, having never heard that tone of voice before. He stared at Rigley seriously, as if he were offering the best kind of truth and something twitched inside my heart, something I hadn’t thought of in a very long time.
“Why? Your parents don’t care where you go to school?” Rigley asked, laughing a little to defuse the heaviness of the moment.
“My parents are dead,” Seth replied casually, shrugging one of his shoulders. The glow from inside him was completely silent as he looked back down at his school lunch. His eyes were a soft shade of honey, but nothing extraordinary shone from them, no sign that he was a different species or called to something great.
I reached out instinctively and gripped his arm, wishing he had confided in me earlier. I heard Rigley offer something like, “That sucks…” but it was all I could do not to openly weep at the table. I knew his parents were dead, but we had never talked about them. I wanted to kick myself for how callous and self-absorbed I had been. Just because every moment of our free time was dedicated to training, didn’t mean I shouldn’t try to learn something personal about Seth. Ugh, he must think me completely vain. I didn’t even know how his parents had died!
But then that twitch in my heart reminded me of a memory of my childhood…. My parents weeping over lost friends, a mission gone wrong…. another traitor.
“Yeah, but it was a long time ago,” Seth recovered; doing the casual-male-shoulder-shrug again that seemed to dictate ninety percent of male conversation. I was still reeling though, hating myself for not knowing this before, for not taking the time to get to know Seth better. He was my intended, and already my Counterpart and I had kept things coolly distant between us.
“It’s alright, Stella,” he whispered, leaning into me and offering me that charming smile that melted every female in a fifty yard radius. His glow was back and there was light behind his eyes again so I loosened my grip on his bicep. “It really was a long time ago.”
“I just…. I don’t know what happened,” I mumbled weakly, my eyes brimming with tears.
“Because I didn’t tell you,” he reminded me. “We’ll talk later.” He let his forehead lean against mine and for a brief moment there was only the two of us in the entire world. I inhaled deeply, breathing him in and letting his clean, fresh snow scent wash over me.
“Ok,” I agreed. I pulled back a little to stare up into his liquid amber eyes. He was an Angel, perfect, good, full of light…. But there was more to Seth, more to him than any other Angel I had ever met. Shades of mystery and trouble, something different and unnatural for Angels, pulled me into him. Maybe the answers were in his story, in whatever happened in his past.
The bell rang and we all got up to empty our trays or throw away our trash. Not at all excited about my Anatomy class; I took my time separating the items off my tray.
“Hey, take a walk with me?” Tristan asked softly from behind me.
I turned around and knew before I even looked into those forest green eyes there was no way I would ever say no to him. “I’ll be late for Anatomy,” I tried weakly.
“I have a pass from Coach, I’ll just add your name to it,” he lifted his eyebrows waiting for my eventual cave.
“Where are we going?” I asked without much hesitation at all.
“I just have to run down to the equipment storage room and grab some of the old practice jerseys. Coach sent the ones we usually use to be mended, so we have to wear moldy, shredded ones until we get the other ones back,” he explained as we left the crowd of exiting students and headed toward the stairs to the basement.
“Mmm…. important mission,” I laughed. “Obviously Coach Donovan is very concerned about your academic career.”
Tristan laughed with me, a deep throaty sound that made me smile wider. “Yeah, I don’t know why he’s having me do this right now for him….”
“Well, I’m glad he is,” I confessed. “Anatomy might be the most boring class in the history of school.” I groaned as we made our way down the dark, creepy steps that led to the equipment storage rooms, locker rooms and boiler room. The locker rooms were on the outer sides of the basement, close to the stairs and accessible from the gym, the interior of the school and the outside doors that led to the football fields, but once you passed the locker room doors the basement of the high school became a maze of hallways and rusted metal doors, dimly lit and perfect for a B-rated horror movie.
“I’m glad he is too,” Tristan whispered, turning on the hallway light at the bottom of the stairs. The long florescent lights flickered to life but didn’t let off anything much more than a dim, stuttering illumination.
“Ugh, I hate it down here,” I admitted, leaning closer to Tristan.
“You’re not scared, are you?” Tristan teased, pinching my side. I jumped from his hand, but then he reached his arm around my back to reassure me and I leaned in closer, craving the comfort of his closeness.
“Tristan, my job is to protect this planet from everything scary, of course I’m not scared,” I scolded him, but my voice came out breathy and unsure. Ugh, basements gave me the creeps.
“Are you ever going to tell me what happened Friday night?” Tristan paused at the door to the equipment room, playing with the keys in his hand. I leaned against the wall to wait for him, but he leaned in with me and suddenly we were standing very close together.
“Are you ever going to tell me what happened Friday night?” I turned the question on him, brushing my fingers gently under his bruised eye.
“No,” he whispered leaning in closer.
I didn’t know what changed between us, whether it was Seth’s arrival or the threat of me leaving him, but Tristan had changed. He seemed more determined about our relationship…. more protective.
Yes, he definitely seemed more protective of me, but it was more than that. He seemed….
Hungry.
As I looked up into his half-lidded eyes, his long dark lashes giving him a sexy quality I usually tried to ignore, I saw how hungry he was now. How hungry he was for me.
“I don’t like this, Stella,” he confessed seriously, his deep baritone voice dropping to a husky tone that sent shivers down my spine. “I don’t like that you’re a part of something I can’t be, that you’re out there, risking your life and fighting bad guys and there’s nothing I can do about it. I want to protect you. I want to be the one fighting with you.” His gaze had frozen me, speared me against the wall and one of his hands had somehow landed on my hip, burning through my thin sweater with the heat of his body and weight of his words.
“You can’t protect me,” I reminded him in a raspy voice that I had desperately wanted to sound authoritative.
“I know that….” He ran his free hand over his shaved head and looked down the hall for a moment. “And it’s killing me,” he sighed, his voice breaking in the softest,
most desperate way. His free hand came to rest aggressively next to me on the metal door, making it echo down the hallway. I jumped at the sound, inching us closer together.
“Tristan….” I breathed, wanting to say a million things, remind him of a million different reasons we had never crossed the invisible line between friendship and more, but my lips stopped working at his name.
“That’s not all that’s killing me,” he sighed, closing the last few inches between us. My body pressed against the wall again as his lean, muscular frame rested against me. His right hand gripped my waist, pulling me into him and his left hand moved slowly to the nape of my neck, tipping my head toward him, towards his lips.
I was helpless to stop him. There was a voice screaming inside of me that this was wrong, that Tristan and I could never be anything more than friends and we should never even entertain the idea. We had gone our whole lives without crossing this line, and now was definitely not the right time to start blurring boundaries. If we did this, there was no going back…. and that terrified me.
Still, there was another voice not nearly as panicked, but just as solidly confident, an old voice, one that had lived there for as long as I could remember that urged me forward, whispered to me how long I’ve wanted to press my lips against Tristan’s and feel how soft they are, how I’ve wanted to be held in his arms as more than a friend, but as something he cherished…. even longed for.
Something he desired.
Tristan’s gaze fell to my lips, and his eyes turned starved. His tongue swept over his bottom lip as he prepared himself for something I wasn’t yet ready to admit to myself was happening. A shudder, hot and trembling, worked its way over me. I gave up the weak battle I had been waging and leaned into him, ignoring all reason left within me.
He hovered above me for a seemingly infinite amount of time, caught in indecision. The air crackled around us, ignited with sparks of a deeply buried desire and the whispered reminders that what we both wanted, what we both were desperate for, was absolutely forbidden. What would happen next would change our relationship; there would be no going back, no pretending that nothing happened. But it would also change us…. completely.
Starbright (The Starbright Series) Page 14
