by Piper Lawson
A smile and a joke in the same night?
“Running uncontested, actually.” My deadpan response elicited a surprised laugh from Dylan. The sound warmed my insides. Dylan’s voice, like his appearance, was familiar and different at once. The sound was deep and too rough to be musical. But I could listen to him talk all night.
“Well, you let me know if you want me to lay him out for you.” Dylan slapped a fist against his other palm. He was joking, but the thing was he probably could. I didn’t remember hearing anything about him getting into trouble for fighting in high school, but looking him over, it occurred to me that my money would be on him.
“Is this service part of the little brother lending library?” I teased. “I don’t have my own, so I get to borrow Ava’s when my reputation is in danger?” I wasn’t used to having my virtue defended, particularly not by an unexpectedly tall, dark, and broody echo of someone from my past. There was something sweet about it. Which was odd, because sweet wasn’t a word I guessed a lot of people used to describe Dylan Cameron.
His brow furrowed slightly and he shook his head as if to clear it. “Forget it.” I wondered what had caused the sudden cloud across his face.
He looked like he wanted to say something else, but his eye was suddenly drawn away by movement behind me. “Ah, this is your house, right? I’m sensing a situation in need of some diplomacy,” he murmured.
Turning to follow his gaze I saw Ava, a five-two pixie with dark hair and stormy eyes, shouting at a tall blond girl in a miniskirt. While I couldn’t hear any substance over the loud music, this looked like it could get ugly fast. I sighed. “Welcome to college. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go stop two girls from ripping each other’s hair out.”
He rewarded me with a genuine smile that nearly knocked me off my feet. “Godspeed.” Yeah, the guy had dimples too. Life wasn’t fair.
Chapter 2
Apparently three trays of shooters had gone missing from the fridge. Accusations were made. Inquiries ensued. At one point I was worried it would escalate to violence, but I managed to settle the dispute by turning up the objects in question.
The trays, mostly full, were being held hostage by a circle of Delta Phi’s playing truth or dare on our back deck. I returned them to the fridge, less what seemed like a reasonable five percent finder’s fee.
The party was in full swing. If the neighbors hadn’t been dancing on the dining room table, I would’ve expected them to call the police.
I was ready to find something a little less exciting to occupy me. Pre-reading for my advanced econ course was sounding pretty good right now.
I picked my way back through the crowd, heading to the stairs, but pulled up short halfway there.
Jake was sitting in one of our armchairs. Perched in his lap was a pretty blond girl who looked like she was trying to devour his head with her mouth. He didn’t seem to be objecting. In fact, his hand was on the back of her head, pulling her closer.
My throat burned as the image washed over me. This was not happening. Telling myself I shouldn’t care didn’t seem to make a difference.
I stumbled toward the stairs and raced up them. Jerked the door of my room closed behind me and collapsed on my bed.
Tears rose behind my eyes, but I refused to cry. I hadn’t cried since my dad left me and my mom more than ten years ago. I wasn’t about to start for some guy who’d cut and run months ago at the first sign of trouble. Jake wasn’t worth it.
I didn’t want him back. But seeing him with someone else threw me.
Probably because I had no plans to do the same. This summer Ava and I made a pact: no boyfriends senior year. Guys would interfere with our heads, hearts, and most importantly, our business. We’d worked too hard to put the pieces painstakingly in place to lose it all now. The pact had been mostly my idea, but Ava’d eventually gotten onboard.
Still, seeing Jake and the blond had sent my body into panic mode even as my head was telling me it would be OK. I tried to talk myself down.
Deep breaths, Lex. In and out.
A knock sounded at my door. It was followed by a deep voice, rough and tinged with concern.
“Lex? It’s Dylan. Is everything OK?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” My voice almost matched my words.
I’m not the kind of girl who needs, or likes, to be rescued. And as far as would-be saviors went, Dylan Cameron would not be my choice.
I was about to ask him to leave when the door handle turned. His lean face appeared, silhouetted by the light in the hallway. I’d turned on the lamp beside my bed but deliberately left the overhead off.
Dylan slowly stepped in and pushed the door partly closed behind him so only a couple inches of bright hallway shone into the semi-darkness of my room.
I hadn’t pictured him as the nurturing type, but given he had two older sisters, he’d likely picked up pieces of shattered female once or twice. It wasn’t clear why he was willing to volunteer the same for me.
He leaned his frame against the wall beside the door and crossed his arms over his chest, like he wasn’t sure where else to put them. “I saw you take off up the stairs like something was on fire. What happened?”
“Nothing. Really, Dylan, it’s fine.”
He didn’t move, just waited me out. From ten feet away, those brown eyes probed mine as if Dylan was reading everything I was feeling but didn’t want to voice. I scanned them as best I could across the distance between us. There was no trace of pity, just curiosity and compassion.
Instead of asking him to leave, I found myself sighing.
“It’s stupid,” I muttered. It was embarrassing being exposed this way in front of a near stranger. But he’d been kind enough to come up, and the least I could do was be polite.
Mustering all my energy. I sat up, pulled my legs toward me and crossed them.
Dylan watched me another endless moment before taking three slow strides toward my bed. “Can I …” He gestured to the bedspread.
“Be my guest.” I didn’t know why he was here or why he cared. But I gave him the benefit of the doubt.
Dylan perched on one hip, far enough away that he wasn’t in my space. Still, I felt the mattress sink as he lowered his weight. He hunched toward me so his brown eyes were peering into my gray ones. I noticed his were lighter than they’d looked downstairs—chocolate shot with caramel—and up close they seemed about a thousand miles deep.
“I remember when Jenna Carlisle held her twelfth birthday party the same day as yours, even though her birthday wasn’t until the week after. Everyone knew she did it just to spite you. Half the class missed your party. It was a dick move, but you didn’t let anyone see that it bothered you.” His eyes flickered back and forth on mine, as if he was replaying it in his mind.
How could he possibly remember that? I had nearly forgotten it, though it had made me feel like crap at the time. Now that he reminded me, I could recall Ava’s indignation. She’d later started a rumor that Jenna had paid people to go to her party. It had ended with Jenna in tears and half the seventh grade class demanding compensation the first week of school.
“So what you’re saying is the world has been out to get me for nine years and I should be used to it by now?”
“I’m saying that you don’t need to have it together all the time. No one expects you to be perfect.”
Wow. He sounded way too smart for his age. And even if he was utterly wrong, his heart was in the right place.
We sat in silence for a moment before Dylan offered his arm. I blinked. Whether it was the booze, the confrontation with Jake, or just the unfamiliar feeling of a kind person wanting to help, I leaned in. He wrapped his arm around me and I breathed in deeply against his chest.
It should’ve been weird but it wasn’t. There was no tension in his body. As his calm seeped slowly into me I felt the knots in my stomach start to relax.
It was nice just to be held. It had been a long time since I’d had that. Dylan’s shoulder was
warm and he smelled like home. With my face pressed against his dark Henley he could’ve been any nice, normal guy.
He didn’t say anything, just let me sit there for minutes, prolonging my imaginings. I wasn’t used to letting people be there for me; this felt like a stolen moment.
I could’ve stayed there forever. Instead I forced myself to move. He might’ve been Ava’s brother but he wasn’t mine.
I sat up and faced him. “Thanks, Dylan. For … you know.” And I meant it. “This crap with Jake, though, it won’t happen again. I’m swearing off guys.”
He nodded like he understood. “Switching to girls?” He arched a dark eyebrow.
My faced scrunched like I was considering the question. “I’m leaning toward celibacy. Girls are crazy too.” The corner of my mouth twitched despite my foul mood.
“Sounds like a plan. I know of a great convent if you’re in the market.”
“Please. I’m so ready for things to be simple, you know? I would love to have one outfit to choose from in the morning. Eat porridge for breakfast. Live vicariously through other people’s drama.” My nose scrunched a little. “Though I’m not sure I want to go to any convent you’re … familiar with.”
He seemed perplexed, his eyebrows drawing together slightly. Then understanding dawned. “What are you saying? You think I’m a player?”
“I’m sure I’m not the only one.”
“Seriously?” His eyes darkened, clouded. “Maybe I am. But you don’t even know me, Lex. Not really.”
He was right. He’d been nice enough to come make sure I was OK, and here I was giving him shit. Still, I wasn’t a total pushover. “So that rumor about Principal Green suspending two cheerleaders for fighting over you in the hall in junior year wasn’t true?”
Beyond that I’d never paid attention to his social life since we moved in different circles. Except when the gossip made Ava’s radar and transcended two grades.
“Not my fault.” His gaze hardened like he was remembering something he’d rather forget. “You can’t hold me accountable for the actions of hormone-ridden teenage girls, especially ones I wasn’t even dating.” He sighed. “I don’t know how we ended up talking about me. I came up here to talk about you. But as long as we are, can you do me a favor and just forget everything you think you know about me for a second?”
I was taken aback by his tone. “I’ll try.” My voice sounded wary even to my own ears.
“If it helps my image, my social calendar is remarkably empty at the moment,” he volunteered. “And with your ringing endorsement a second ago, is it any wonder? You know, ‘girls are crazy’ and all.” The tension that had arisen moments ago at the mention of high school rumors seemed to leave his body again, mirrored by a smoothness returning to his voice.
“Sure, but I bet you broke a lot of hearts back East when you came here. It’s funny, though, now that you mention it, I can’t remember you dating in high school. Did you never bring girls around?” By around I meant his house. I’d spent more time there than my own, so it felt natural calling it that.
“You don’t remember because you and Ava were so much older and cooler.” He didn’t add that he and Ava hadn’t really gotten along. For some reason, bringing up high school this time didn’t seem to make him uncomfortable. “If it wasn’t about clothes, or football players, or celebrities it wasn’t on your radar. What if I told you I haven’t had time for girls?”
I rolled my eyes, one immature habit I’d never been able to break, and shoved his shoulder. Or tried—my hands were barely able to move him an inch. “Yeah right. No time for girls? Even when they’re pulling each other’s hair out over you?”
Dylan’s eyes fell to my floral bedspread, and he seemed to lose himself in thought again. But then they flicked back to mine and when he spoke again his voice was matter-of-fact. “Pretty much. I needed a full scholarship to make tuition. It wasn’t an option for Ava because of her grades and major. But Mom and Dad lost some of their savings and they couldn’t afford to put us both through after Kate.”
The eldest Cameron had graduated from pharmacy school and just moved to Illinois to practice. Ethan, their other sibling, was in real estate and hadn’t gone to college.
“I logged about twenty hours a week in extra credit projects and tutoring senior year. Between that and rugby, which the guys begged me to stay on the team so they could have a run at state, I didn’t have time for dating that year. Or anything else, really. I thought I might get a rugby scholarship but messed up my knee midway through the season. When I got an academic scholarship to Penn State, I jumped at it.”
I was floored by his words. Everything had seemed to come easily to him. Though I hadn’t seen much of him the last few years, I’d always assumed it was because of partying and crazy stunts, not a roster of academic and service commitments.
He misinterpreted my reaction.
“Believe me, my parents were just as shocked as you are that I managed to score the free ride.” Dylan suddenly looked uncomfortable, like he was surprised he’d said what he had. “But don’t say anything to Ava, OK? She doesn’t know. I mean, she knows about the scholarship but not about the money thing.” I nodded, not understanding why he’d told me. Or why it was so important to keep it a secret.
Dylan and I had grown up on the fringes of one another’s lives with only the odd intersection. I’d never figured there was much beyond the talk. Or maybe you just never cared enough to look, part of me chided. He’d been something of a paradox, the bad boy with enough mass appeal to become the most popular guy in his year despite his screw-you-all exterior. But I’d pegged him as being so focused on cars and girls he had no time for scholarships, like most guys his age.
“So why did you come back?” I asked.
He thought for a moment. “I always wanted to be here. But the scholarship and other things made Penn State look pretty good last year. I studied my ass off hoping to get a transfer closer to home. Guess I lucked out.” He let out a breath. “In any case, I’m glad to be back. And maybe if I’m lucky I can have a semi-normal college experience.”
I tried to lighten the serious mood by cracking a smile. “Well, Dylan, you got your wish. A good-looking kid like you will catch up on the, ah, extracurriculars in no time.” Somehow it didn’t have the desired effect, causing him to frown instead.
“I’m not a kid, Lex. Don’t assume I haven’t been through just as much as you have.” Something in his steady gaze made me uncomfortable. He had changed a lot from the Dylan I’d known. Or more accurately, the Dylans I’d known. I remembered him through flashes, impressions over the years. The smart one who’d tried to convince his mom he couldn’t go to school the day he lost his first tooth because he clearly needed surgery to re-attach it. The timid one who’d been afraid of storms, willing to play Barbie with second-grade Ava and me just to have company when the thunder started. The serious one in junior high who’d peer at you thoughtfully from under dark hair and dark lashes when your paths crossed, like he could see inside your head. Then there was the one in high school—the athlete and the partier, beloved by guys and girls alike. Well, apparently not as much of the girls as everyone had assumed.
I didn’t know which Dylan was sitting in front of me—one of those or another entirely.
Chalk it up to yet another surprise. It was starting to feel like I could build a Jenga tower out of them. The guys I thought I could trust left me, and the ones I thought had perfect lives were holding them together with duct tape behind the scenes.
Dylan’s voice brought me back from my wandering train of thought.
“Anyway, if you’re so much older and smarter,” he said, “what’d I miss while I was up to my ears in textbooks and jockstraps?” His sudden playfulness was unexpected. Despite his mood swings, I found myself thoroughly enjoying our conversation.
“You mean because you didn’t date?” He nodded. “Well,” I mused, “on the bright side you missed out firsthand on the whining, the c
atfights, and a hundred varieties of high maintenance that is teenage girls.”
“I like your optimism. Although some of that definitely came through osmosis living with two older sisters. What about the downside?”
I looked at him strangely. I would have normally flushed, but given my current state of mind and partial inebriation I was footloose and censor-free. “Well, the obvious one is sex.” Dylan quirked an eyebrow. “I mean, it kind of is something you need two people to do. Or, I guess, more than two is fine also.” The words spilled through my filterless brain and out my mouth, ending with a lift that suggested I was waiting for a response. This moment brought to you by hard liquor.
“Alexis Caine. Are you asking about my sex life? Like, for posterity?” Dylan looked amused as he turned to face me on the bed, legs crossed, his posture mirroring mine. Our knees were touching. I shouldn’t have noticed, but did. Could feel the warmth of his body on my bare legs through his jeans. I wasn’t sure how to respond.
His mouth twitched and suddenly he burst out laughing. It was a rich noise that sounded real contrasted with the dull roar of laughing and music that wafted up the stairs. I had the random thought that I would do just about anything if he would keep laughing like that.
“Well, since you seem to be prying all my secrets out of me, why stop now, right?” He folded his arms across his chest as if steeling himself for my reaction. “I’m not a virgin. But it has been awhile. Junior year, Amy Street. We dated for two months, but she moved away with her family.” I failed miserably to hold in a snort of laughter. That was miles from what I’d been expecting.
Dylan caught up quickly. “Stop. For the record, she didn’t move the day after we had sex.”
“Mhmm. It would explain a lot, though, wouldn’t it?” Teasing him was the most fun I’d had all night. Probably longer than that. I had found a crack in his perfect composure and was enjoying picking at it. For once I wasn’t the target of someone else’s darts.
