The Game of Shepherd and Dawse

by William Shepherd

  “Hello C? It’s K. I think we’ve found her”, Dr Saunders said. There was a momentary pause from the other end of the line.

  “And the birthmark”? Enquired C.

  “Right place. Right shape”, replied Dr Saunders.

  “That’s wonderful news, K. Good work. Proceed now as planned and let me know if anything changes”.

  As Penny made her way home on the bus she had a much lifted feeling about her: a fresh, new, clean feeling. It would be fair to say that this was probably the best in her life she had ever felt, and she rather liked it.

  Penny went to Davey and Dobbs to pick up her prescription, just as she always did to pick up her mother’s prescriptions. Penny had mixed feelings about the drug superstore, Davey and Dobbs. The owner was a lovely, very sweet man called Mr Dobbs, who was always a pleasure to be served by. (His partner, Mrs Davey, a sweet lady in her own right, had passed away some years ago.) In sharp contrast to the gentle manner of Mr Dobbs, were the two brash young girls he employed to help run the counter while he was busy taking care of orders and prescriptions in the back. The girls were always rather rude to customers, mostly just for the fun of it. It wasn’t like they were rude enough that you could actually say anything to Mr Dobbs about them, or anyone else for that matter. They had crafted their hidden insults so very well, shrouded behind their fake tans, fake nails and even faker smiles, but they knew what they were up to and so did Penny. The worst of it was when they knew, that Penny knew, that they knew – yet they carried on regardless.

  Well, today they weren’t going to get under her skin. Penny was too happy for that, and just as luck would have it, the Rude Twins had been let off early by Mr Dobbs.

  “Hello, my Lovely”, Mr Dobbs said cheerfully in his thick, West Country accent.

  “Hello, Mr Dobbs”, Penny beamed. How are you today”?

  “I’m very well, my dear. Though I’d be a lot blooming better if we’d been a bit busier today, mind you”, he said with a sideways cock of the head. “We’ve been so quiet, I had to let Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dee off early – and on full blooming pay too”! Mr Dobbs said this in a mock disgust that made Penny laugh, as she knew, that he knew, that the Twins knew that Penny knew that they knew, and in some ways he had as much dislike for his employees as she did.

  “So what can I get for you today, my dear”? Asked Mr Dobbs.

  Penny handed over the prescription slip and Mr Dobbs went about and made up the order. Mr Dobbs would never enquire in any way about a customer’s prescriptions, unlike his two young assistants, and could often be heard reprimanding both Deborah and Mandy for such actions with the words, “How many times have I got to tell you two: a customer’s prescription is a personal and private matter. Their business ain’t none of your business, so stop being so bloody nosey and affecting my bloody business. Got it”?!

  “Yes, Mr Dobbs. So sorry, Mr Dobbs. Won’t happen again, Mr Dobbs”, would always be the replies delivered almost in unison from Deborah and Mandy. But it would happen again, and again, and again and again.

  Mr Dobbs would probably have gotten rid of Deborah and Mandy moons ago, if it wasn’t for the fact that he trusted them not to steal from the till. This was about all those two did have going for them as employees, but as Mr Dobbs would often say, “You can train a person to do almost anything with enough time and patience, but you can’t train someone not to be a thief”.

  Deborah, Mandy and Mr Dobbs each had a mutual respect and disrespect for each other. Mr Dobbs respected the fact that the two girls were both financially trustworthy (and he had seen his fair share of till ticklers in his time) but disrespected the fact that they were both so untrainable in almost every other way. Deborah and Mandy respected the fact that they always got paid on time and the fact that Mr Dobbs was (as they put it) a shit hot pharmacist. Mr Dobbs respected the fact that Deborah and Mandy respected his authority, but disrespected the fact that they disrespected customers. Deborah and Mandy respected the fact that Mr Dobbs was trying so hard to teach them a trade, but disrespected the fact that they really didn’t want to learn one.

  All in all, the three of them were quite a comedy act all on their own. And in some strange ways, they all felt like they belonged together, even if it was just to press each other’s buttons.

  Mr Dobbs handed over Penny’s prescription with his usual smile. “There you go, my lovely. That will be £11.36, please”.

  Penny went to get her purse out of her bag and suddenly realised that she hadn’t brought enough money with her. Penny’s money was so tight that whenever she went out she would only take what was needed and hadn’t banked on needing more than the bus fare that she had equipped herself with that morning.

  “Oh, dear! I’m ever so sorry, Mr Dobbs”, Penny blurted out. “It seems I haven’t brought enough money with me”. Penny felt rather stupid and untrustworthy and now wondered if Mr Dobbs would be thinking that she was just another person trying it on, as so many people in the world do.

  Penny carried on sifting through her bag, as if by magic somehow she would find a rolled up £20 note somewhere and save her blushes. But there was no saving-grace £20 note to be had in Miss Frugal’s bag.

  “Oh, I’m dreadfully sorry, Mr Dobbs”, Penny continued. “I’ll have to come ba...”

  At which point Mr Dobbs broke in to reassure her, “Don’t be daft, my lovely. It happens to the best of us. And you, my dear, are one of my best customers. Just pop the money in when you’re next passing. I trust ya”!

  Penny, still feeling very embarrassed but also feeling very grateful for Mr Dobb’s trust, placed the items in her bag, almost feeling that she was stealing from this lovely little man.

  Picking up on Penny’s rather awkward state, Mr Dobbs chipped in, “Now you run along, luv, or you won’t catch your bus in time. And put a smile on that pretty little face of yours for me, now won’t you? You look so much prettier when you smile.” Mr Dobbs finished off as Penny walked out of the store, “Well, keep smiling won’t you, even if just for me.”

  Penny did put a smile on face after hearing Mr Dobbs’ last words. That was three times in one day that Penny had heard that same expression. She couldn’t help but be amused by it and wondered briefly if it were some new catch phrase that everyone had started using, not fully realising the importance of the synchronicities that were taking place in her life.

  As Penny sat on the No. 43 bus that took her within shouting distance of where she lived, she couldn’t help but wonder how Mr Dobb’s knew that she even took the bus or how he seemed to know that she would have been late had she hung around in the store much longer. It had been quite an eventful day for Penny and as she bumped up and down in her seat on the bus as the bus made its way along its bumpy route, she finally began thinking about the strange synchronicities that had taken place that day. And for the first time in as long as she could remember, Penny actually felt normal.

  The very next Wednesday Penny did as she was asked by Dr Saunders and slipped that little blue pill into her mother’s cup of tea. Not without a certain amount of trepidation, mind you. Penny couldn’t help but wonder if her mother would suss out what she had done and how all mighty hell would break loose if she did. But she didn’t find out. In fact, Maude slept like a baby – minus the pissing and shitting herself which she had become so fond of doing for so many years. This baffled Penny a bit, as she had expected her mother’s incontinence to have kicked in. And seeing that she did indeed sleep a hearty old 17 hours straight, Penny surely thought that she’d have poo’d herself at least once.

  Penny didn’t go out of the house for the first couple of sleep-therapy sessions that Dr Saunders had bestowed upon Maude. Penny’s more worrying nature would take care of that. On the second Wednesday that Maude was enjoying her comatose state, Penny was sitting in front of her mother and started up a conversation, failing to realise that Maude was already out for the count.

  When Penny got no reply, she had to giggle to herself at what sh
e had just done, not to mention the fact that she had expected her mother to answer. This also made Penny rather curious about how comatose her mother actually was, and she decided to go about experimenting to see what it would take to wake mother up.

  Penny started by slowly increasing the volume on the telly while looking at mother for any kind of reaction. Before long, she noticed the telly had been turned up to its maximum volume, so she tried something else. Penny started to whisper into mother Maude’s ear and amped up her volume slowly, like she had done with the remote control. But still nothing. By now, Penny was literally screaming into her mother’s ear and still nothing. Had she have shouted any louder, she would have had the whole street knocking at her door asking what was wrong.

  Penny was absolutely intrigued by this, this magical phenomenon that was mother Maude: still, and bloody quiet for once. Penny couldn’t stop staring at her sedated mother and was enjoying this new sense of freedom that she had never felt.

  Penny had never really studied anyone like this before and even though Penny was a quick study, when does anyone ever really get the chance for such an unobstructed view of someone else for such a length of time?

  The more that Penny looked at her insanely domineering mother, she couldn’t help feeling and thinking that this wasn’t a strong woman in front of her at all. Rather, she was quite a miserable, pathetic, overweight, dribbling, snoring creature. This feeling was immensely liberating for Penny. It would be true to say that one of Maude’s claws that had been so deeply dug into the lovely soul of Miss Penny Crabtree for so very long had indeed released itself. One claw down, many claws to go!

  The following Wednesday Penny went back to see Dr Saunders, as she had arranged with Pam the duty nurse on her last visit.

  “What a difference a few weeks can make”! Dr Saunders exclaimed. “Penny, you look so much more relaxed than you did just a few weeks ago. You really have quite a pretty look about you, don’t you my dear”. Dr Saunders had a contented look about her that told Penny, ‘Bravo, girl. Job well done.’ Sensing this, Penny immediately blushed and looked down toward her feet.

  “So how are you getting on with the medication, Penny? Are you feeling any differently“?

  “Yes, yes and more yes”, Penny quickly replied with an enthusiastic grin on her face, one of the few grins Dr Saunders could ever recall seeing. “I’m feeling so wonderful, doctor. It’s like I’ve been given a new lease on life. I never realised how happy life could be! I’m feeling much better now.”

  Penny’s excited speech and eager fashion showed how thoroughly excited she was to share with Dr Saunders her news of how the little magic pills had worked their magic so very well.

  “I can tell”, Dr Saunders winked with a nod of approval. “And how is your mother coping with her sleep”? Dr Saunders looked at Penny in a way that implied they were both in this little ordeal together and that what Penny was doing was absolutely ok and absolutely necessary.

  “Well...I’ve done as you asked me to, and yes, she certainly isn’t complaining about any lack of sleep now”. Penny paused then added with a roll of her eyes, “Still complains about everything else though”.

  Penny smiled and giggled in unison with Dr Saunders and they both knew what she meant. This was the first time that Penny had spoken about her mother in a way that wasn’t of utter reverence, and Penny rather liked it. It was another claw gone. Two down, many more to go.

  “And have you managed to get out much”, Dr Saunders gently probed in the full knowledge that Penny hadn’t gone out at all. She knew her patients well.

  “Urmm, well...no. I haven’t actually…”, Penny trailed off, slightly annoyed at herself for not carrying out the seemingly easy task of socialising.

  Dr Saunders smiled. “As luck would have it, one of my other patients is looking for a new member for their pub quiz team. Do you think that might be up your street”? Dr Saunders asked this in a gentle way, giving

  of her line of questioning so as not to put unnecessary pressure on Penny.

  Penny thought for a moment and came to the conclusion that yes that may just be up her street. After all, she was very good with knowledge. She had read a tremendous number of books throughout her life and felt comfortable that she could hold her own on certain topics – as long as they weren’t anything to do with all the girly-girl things she had missed out on during her monastic life with Mother Maude. History, world affairs and horticulture were Penny’s specialities. Her knowledge of horticulture had come from Fred (that jolly old chap she met weekly on the bus). Fred had never given Penny the same flower twice and Penny would always research which flower Fred had given her. She knew all of the Latin names for practically every flower out there.

  “Ok, then. That’s sorted”, Dr Saunders said. “Here’s the lady’s phone number whose team it is. Now, she’s a no nonsense kind of woman but she’s got a heart of gold, so you should both get on fine”.

  Dr Saunders handed Penny a slip of paper with Betty’s phone number on it. Penny studied it for a few brief seconds (as one does when handed someone else’s phone number – not that it ever gets remembered by this cursory glance) and popped it the safe pocket of her bag so as not to lose it.

  “She’s a retired lady”, Dr Saunders continued, “So you can ring her any time you like. And I’ll see you again in just under three months, Penny, when your prescription will be due for renewal”.

  “Ok, then”, Penny said with a gleam in her eye as she stood to shake the good Doctors’ hand. “Thank you so much again, Dr Saunders. I don’t know how I can ever repay you”.

  “No, Penny. Thank you”! Dr Saunders grasped both of Penny’s hands in her own and gave her a warm look of approval in her eyes. “You look so much better now. I can’t wait to see you when you come back in three months”.

  That was the first time Penny had ever been thanked for allowing someone else to help her. She usually got no thanks at all, even when she was doing all the work.

  Penny left the doctor’s surgery just after three o’clock, which meant she had just missed her bus which always went on the hour.

  “Darnit”, she thought to herself. “Now what the heck am I supposed to do for another hour”?

  Just as Penny was looking around, as if waiting for some kind of cue from God, a girl in her mid-twenties with a cockney accent passed by her and shoved a voucher into Penny’s hand in a way that said, ‘Right. I gottcha now, and now you gotta go and use this voucher’. Lady Cockney knew how to bully people into Coffee #1, which was why Coffee #1 was Coffee #1.

  “Here you are, luv”, the girl said almost absentmindedly. “One free cup of coffee today at Coffee #1. Just down there”, she said while pointing, “and around the corner. Voucher valid for today only, mind you. Ok, make sure you use it”. Before she even let go of the voucher into Penny’s hand, the girl was already sizing up her next ever-so-sorry-but-can’t-say-no victim walking toward them.

  Out of politeness Penny didn’t say no to the girl, though she had no intention of going into the coffee shop. Penny never could understand why people would pay exorbitant prices for a mere cup of coffee when they just as easily could have a cup of instant brew in the house. Penny planned on getting herself around the corner, out of sight of little Miss Pushy and walking straight past the little coffee house.

  As Penny planned her daring escape (from the watchful eye of Voucher Girl, who had now started her way back up the street as if to usher all of her voucher victims into the shop), Penny suddenly was hit by the very strong and enticing aroma of freshly ground coffee that was wafting from the shop, like a pied piper of convenience beverages. Penny couldn’t help but stand there and deeply breathe in the seductive smell of the phenomenally wealthy cousin of her own midway Asda brand instant coffee at home. A young man in an apron brushed past her and opened the door.

  “Ladies first”, he said with a genuine smile that was almost as enticing as the full rich aroma of the coffee smell that was drifting past
her.

  That was it. She was hooked. Penny was past the point of no return. She was no match for both Voucher Girl and Smiley Boy. They knew their customers well, old and new.

  “Oh, thank you very much”, Penny said, feeling like she’d been invited to a party but lacking that proper invite we call cold hard cash. Not to be totally outdone by the daring duo, Penny thought of Dr Saunders’ words and a surge of confidence swelled up inside her. ‘You’ve given me a voucher and I’m damn well going to use it”, she decided.

  Penny quickly joined the queue of two other people and took in her new surroundings. The coffee shop was full of very comfortable looking two-seater sofas and there were full bags of coffee beans (the sort that you only see in the adverts of coffee plantations in faraway countries) strategically placed here and there. On the walls were pieces of artwork for sale by local artists and there was a board for people who wanted to advertise their bohemian events. This was bohemia in Bohemia.

  Penny studied the giant blackboard that hung above the busy little worker-bee workforce and considered the many different beverages she might indulge in, in this little den of bohemian coffee inequity. It was true to say that Penny was a virgin in the downstairs department as well as a virgin in the freshly ground coffee department. Since she didn’t even know what most of the drinks were, she decided to play it safe and chose a medium, freshly ground, white coffee.