“Sure,” CJ said softly.
Trent reached into his pocket and pulled out a toy and handed it to CJ. She didn’t hold it down to me to sniff, so I figured it couldn’t be much fun.
“What is it, CJ?”
“This just seems, I don’t know. Fast, or something. Like, we’re so young. Married.”
“Fast?”
“No, forget it. The ring’s beautiful.”
Shortly after that, CJ and Trent left. When she came back she smelled deliciously of meat, but she was alone. I was disappointed because I was hoping Trent would stay to play, just as he had always done when he had Rocky. I wondered if the lack of a dog was what was keeping Trent from coming over as often as he once did. Not for the first time, I thought that Trent really needed a dog.
CJ seemed sad. She lay on her bed and dropped her shoes on the floor, and then I could hear her crying up there. Sneakers jumped on the bed, but I couldn’t imagine a cat being as much comfort as a person’s dog. When you were sad, you needed your dog. I backed up, then ran at the bed and leaped up. CJ reached for me and held me tightly.
“My life is nothing,” she said. There was real grief in her words, though I didn’t know what she was saying or even if she was talking to me or Sneakers.
After a time, my girl fell asleep, even though she was still dressed in the same clothes she’d worn when she’d left with Trent. I jumped down and paced the bedroom, distressed at how sad she was.
Probably because I was upset and trying to figure out what was going on, I made a connection that hadn’t occurred to me before: every time CJ put on the nice-smelling shoes, she was sad. They might have a delicious scent, but they were sad, sad shoes.
I knew what I needed to do.
TWENTY-FOUR
I thought if I chewed the sad shoes my girl wouldn’t be sad anymore, but when she woke up and saw the pieces scattered across the floor she was not happy.
“Oh no!” she screamed. “Bad Max! Bad Max!”
I was a bad dog. I should not have chewed the shoes.
I went to her with my head down and my ears back, nervously licking my lips. CJ dropped to her knees and sobbed, burying her face in her hands. Sneakers came to the end of the bed to watch us. I anxiously put my paws on my girl’s legs, but that didn’t help at first, not until she gathered me up in her arms and clutched me to her. Then the sadness flowed from her as she cried.
“I am alone in the world, Max,” CJ said to me. I didn’t wag, because the way she said my name was so full of grief.
CJ eventually threw the shoe pieces away. From that morning forward, it seemed as if she moved more slowly, a vague sadness in her moods and motions. We still went for walks with a few other dogs nearly every day, but CJ didn’t light up with happiness when she saw them, and when the first snow fell she sat and watched Katie and me tearing around the dog park without laughing once.
I wished Trent would come over—CJ was always happy when Trent was around. But he didn’t and my girl never said Trent’s name into her phone.
Instead, I heard “Gloria.” CJ was sitting on her stool, talking. She had her phone by her face.
“How have you been, Gloria?” she said. I had been playing with Sneakers in the bedroom, but now I trotted into the kitchen, curious. Gloria wasn’t there, though—CJ was just talking, saying, “Uh-huh.… Uh-huh.… Huh.
“Hawaii? That sounds really nice,” CJ said, while I yawned and circled on my pillow, getting comfortable. Sneakers came padding over and leaped up on a counter and pretended not to care that I was there.
“Uh-huh. That’s nice,” CJ said. “Well, listen, Gloria, I have to ask you … I’m wondering if I could borrow some money. Just … I’m falling behind a little. I’m looking for a job, and also trying to find more dog-walking clients, but it’s not happening.… Uh-huh. Well, sure, I understand; that must have been expensive.… Right, I get it, you couldn’t very well go with old, stale luggage. No, I’m not, I’m just listening to what you are saying.… Okay, I was just asking, Gloria; I don’t want this to get into some big discussion.”
Sneakers finally lost patience and jumped down, coming over to me and purring at me. When I didn’t budge, she curled up against me on my pillow. I sighed.
With a loud bang CJ set her phone down. She was clearly angry at it, but I knew from the shoe episode that this didn’t imply she wanted me to do something about it. In my opinion, though, phones were not good toys. She went to the refrigerator and opened it and stood there looking inside for a long time, then looked at me. “Let’s go for a walk instead, Max,” she said.
It was bitterly cold outside, but I didn’t complain. Eventually CJ scooped me up, though, holding me as we walked, and with my feet no longer on the wet ground I became cozy and warm.
A light knock on the door many evenings later alerted me and I barked loudly. CJ had been in bed most of the day, just lying there, and much of the time I had been with her. She roused herself, though, while I stood with my nose at the crack in the door. I was wagging at the scent: Trent!
“Who is it, Max? Hello?” my girl called.
“CJ, it’s me.”
“Oh.” CJ looked around, running her hand through her hair, then opened the door.
“Hi, Trent.”
“My God, I’ve been worried about you. Why’s your phone shut off?”
“Oh. Um, just a … a thing. I need to talk to them.”
“Can I come in?”
“Sure.”
Trent stepped inside, stomping his feet to get the snow off of them. His coat was wet; he hung it on the hook where my leash was draped. I pranced at his feet, and finally he knelt down, accepting my kisses.
“Hi, Max, how have you been, boy?” Trent said, laughing. Then he stood, looking at CJ. “Hey,” he said softly. “You okay?”
“Sure.”
“You look … Have you been sick?”
“No,” CJ said. “I was just taking a nap.”
“You never responded to my messages. From before, I mean, when the phone was still working. Are you mad at me?”
“No. I’m sorry, Trent, I know it’s hard for you to believe, but I’ve been a little busy and maybe haven’t been able to get back to everyone on a timely basis.”
Trent was quiet for a minute. “I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s okay.”
“Look, want to go get something to eat?”
I could feel CJ getting a little angry. She folded her arms. “Because?” I went over to her and sat at her feet in case she needed me.
“Um, I don’t know, because it’s dinnertime?”
“So you came over here to feed me? Why don’t I just chirp and you can puke into my mouth?”
“No. CJ, what are you doing? I came over to see how you were.”
“To check up on me. See if I’m getting all my meals.”
“That’s not what I said.”
“Well, I can’t. I have a date.”
Trent blinked. “Oh.”
“I have to get ready.”
“Okay. Look, I’m sorry if—”
“You don’t have to apologize. I’m sorry that I got angry. But you should go.”
Trent nodded. He reached for his coat, taking it off the hook, the leash underneath swaying tantalizingly. I glanced at CJ, but it didn’t look as if she was planning to take a walk. Trent shrugged on the coat, then looked at CJ. “I miss you.”
“I’ve just been so busy.”
“Do you miss me, too?”
CJ looked away. “Of course.”
A sadness rose up within Trent then. “Well, how do I get in touch with you?”
“When I get my phone back up I’ll call you.”
“Let’s grab … coffee, or something.”
“Sure,” CJ said.
They hugged then. CJ was sad, too; it swirled around both of them. I didn’t understand why they were both feeling so bad, but sometimes there are things going on between people that dogs are not supposed to comprehe
nd.
Trent left and Sneakers came out from under the bed. I wished she hadn’t hidden—there was no reason to hide from Trent; he was good.
A few days later CJ and I were coming back from walking with the dogs and there was a woman standing in front of our door with a piece of paper. CJ was panting a little from coming up the stairs. I barked at the stranger.
“Lydia!” CJ said. She stooped and picked me up, and I stopped barking.
“I was just posting notice,” the woman said.
“Notice,” CJ repeated.
The woman sighed. “You’re just so far behind, honey. Can you pay anything toward rent today?”
“Today? No, I’m … I get paid on Friday; I could maybe pay most of a payment then?”
My girl felt afraid. I growled at the woman, because I could only conclude that she was the source of CJ’s agitation. “Shush, Max,” CJ said, folding a hand over my nose. I growled through the hand.
“Friday you’ll be down another payment; that’s why I’m here. I’m sorry, CJ, but I’m going to have to ask you to either catch up or go. I have rent and bills myself.”
“No, I get it. Okay, I get it,” CJ said. She wiped her eyes.
“Do you have family? People you can turn to?”
CJ held me more tightly and I stopped baring my teeth at the woman. I could sense that CJ needed my comfort more than my protection.
“No. My dad died in a plane crash when I was little.”
“I’m so sorry to hear it.”
“I’ll move out. Thank you for your, for all of your patience. I promise I will pay you the money I owe you. I’m looking for a better job.”
“Just take care of yourself, dear. You look as if you haven’t eaten in a week.”
The woman left. CJ went into her apartment, carrying the piece of paper that the woman had handed her. CJ sat on her bed and when I whimpered she picked me up and set me down beside her and I climbed into her lap. She felt full of sadness and fear.
“I’ve become my mother,” she whispered.
A little while later, CJ stood up and started gathering her clothes and putting them into a suitcase. She fed me some cheese and gave me Sneakers’ food when Sneakers turned up her nose at it. Normally I would have been delighted with these wonderful treats, but there was something odd about the way CJ gave them to me, with a cold, detached gloom, that took some of the joy out of it.
CJ pulled out Sneakers’ crate and put all of Sneakers’ toys in it and also the cat’s bed. Sneakers watched all this without expression, while I paced around at CJ’s feet, feeling anxious. I felt better, though, when CJ clicked my leash onto my collar, picked up Sneakers and the crate, and went next door to Mrs. Minnick’s house. “Hi, Mrs. Minnick,” CJ said.
Mrs. Minnick held out her hands and took Sneakers, who was purring. “Hi, CJ,” she said.
“I have this huge favor to ask of you. I’m … I have to move. And where I’m going won’t take pets. So, I was wondering if you would watch Sneakers for a while? For maybe, always? She’s so happy here.”
Mrs. Minnick’s face broke into a huge smile. “Are you sure?” She held Sneakers out at arm’s length. “Sneakers?”
Sneakers stopped purring, because she did not like the way she was being held. I put a paw on CJ’s leg, because I was impatient to get going on our walk. Mrs. Minnick stepped back and CJ set the crate inside the door.
“All of her things are in there. Also a few cans of food, but she hasn’t been eating much lately.”
“Well, I’ve been feeding her over here.”
“I figured. Okay. Again, thanks so much.” CJ took a step forward, closer to Mrs. Minnick, who was holding and stroking the cat. “Sneakers. You are a good cat,” CJ said, pushing her face into the cat’s fur. Sneakers rubbed her head against CJ, purring. “Okay,” CJ whispered.
I whined anxiously at the grief pouring out of my girl.
Mrs. Minnick was watching CJ. “Are you sure you’re fine?”
“Oh yes. Sneakers, you are my favorite kitty; you be good.”
“You’ll come visit?” Mrs. Minnick asked uncertainly.
“Of course. Soon as I’m settled in the new place, I’ll come by. Okay? I have to go now. Bye-bye, Sneakers. I love you. Good-bye.”
The cat hopped out of Mrs. Minnick’s arms and trotted into the woman’s home. Sneakers was mostly a good cat, but she was making CJ sad and I didn’t like that.
After leaving Sneakers with Mrs. Minnick we went for a very strange walk. First I did my business in the snow, and then CJ picked me up and carried me and we walked and walked. I loved the way the warmth of her kept me snug and safe. CJ seemed really tired and sad, though, and I wondered where we could possibly be going.
Finally she stopped and let me down on the ground. I sniffed at the snow, not recognizing any of the scents. CJ knelt on both knees, leaning down to me. “Max.”
I licked her face and it brought the sadness back, which didn’t make much sense to me. Usually when I licked her it made her happy.
“You have been such a good, good dog. Okay? You have been the most wonderful dog a girl in the city could ever want. You protected me and took care of me. I love you, Max. Okay? No matter what happens, don’t ever forget how much I love you, because it’s true.” CJ was wiping her face, the tears flowing onto her hands. The sadness in her was so awful it made me afraid.
After a minute she stood, taking a breath. “Okay,” she said. She carried me a little farther and then some of the scents were familiar, and I knew we were going to see Trent. I felt a sense of relief—Trent would help CJ. Whatever was going on was beyond a dog’s understanding, but he would know what to do.
Trent opened his door. “God, what’s happened?” he asked. “Come in.”
“I can’t,” CJ said, standing in the hallway. “I’ve got to go. I need to go to the airport.” She set me down and I ran to Trent, leaping up and wagging. He reached down and patted my head, but he was looking at CJ.
“The airport?”
“It’s Gloria, she’s really sick, and I need to be there.”
“I’ll go with you,” Trent said.
“No, no, what I need, can you watch Max? Please? You’re the only other person in the whole world that he likes.”
“Sure,” Trent said slowly. “Max? You want to hang here for a few days?”
“I need to go,” my girl said. She did not seem any happier here with Trent.
“Want me to ride to the airport with you?”
“No, that’s okay.”
“You seem really upset, CJ.”
CJ took a deep, shuddering breath. “No, I’m okay. I guess I have some unreconciled … some stuff about Gloria. It doesn’t matter. I need to go.”
“What time’s your flight?”
“Trent, please, I can manage, okay? Just let me go.”
“Okay,” Trent said softly. “Say good-bye to CJ, Max.”
“We already…” CJ shook her head. “Okay, right. Bye, Max.” She dropped to one knee. “I love you. I’ll see you soon, okay? Bye, Max.” CJ stood. “Bye, Trent.”
They came together in a fierce hug. When they pulled apart, I could feel Trent being a little afraid. I looked around but didn’t see any threat. “CJ?” he asked her in a small voice.
She shook her head, not meeting his eyes. “I have to go,” CJ said. She turned and I made to follow, but my leash pulled me up short. I barked at her, but CJ didn’t look back. She went straight to the little room with the double doors, and when they opened she stepped inside and turned and then, in one frozen moment, she finally looked at me. She met my eyes, then looked and gave a smile and a little wave to Trent. Even from there, I could see her tears, reflected in the harsh overhead lights of the little room. I barked again. Then the doors shut.
Trent picked me up and looked at me. “What’s really going on, huh, Max?” he whispered. “I don’t like this. I don’t like it at all.”
TWENTY-FIVE
Now things we
re entirely different. I was staying in Trent’s house, which was bigger than where I lived with CJ. I still took dog walks, though—a woman named Annie came over every day with a happy fat yellow dog named Harvey and let herself into Trent’s house and took me with her. It was strange to me that her name was Annie, because my sisters at the place of the barking dogs had been Abby and Annie. I concluded that some people loved dogs so much they called themselves by dog names. Annie smelled like a lot of different cats and dogs, which seemed to confirm my theory. The first day she came over I rushed toward her, barking fiercely so that she’d know that I wasn’t intimidated by her Harvey, but Trent was there and snatched me up off the floor and then Annie reached for me and grabbed me out of Trent’s arms and I didn’t know what to do about that. Normally when I was snarling people didn’t hug me to their chests. She cooed to me and rocked me and I felt myself letting down my guard completely. CJ wasn’t there and didn’t need my protection, so maybe it was okay if I let Annie take certain liberties.
Annie and Harvey and I walked with other dogs, but Annie did it wrong—we didn’t stop to get Katie on the way, though we did stop for a dog named Zen, who was big but with very short legs and heavy ears that almost touched the ground. He looked very much like Barney, the dog who lived with Jennifer when Rocky and I were puppies. When I snarled at Zen he collapsed and rolled on his back and passively let me sniff him all over. I wouldn’t be getting any trouble from him. Less cooperative was a tall dog with curly hair named Jazzy. Jazzy didn’t want to play with me.
Trent only came home at night, usually carrying a bag of food that he would eat silently, standing in the kitchen. He seemed very tired and sad. He would hold his hands out to me and I smelled a lot of different things, but never once did I smell my girl.
“Oh, Max, you miss her, don’t you,” Trent said softly to me. I wagged to show that I had heard my name and that I liked it when he stroked the top of my head.
A Dog's Purpose Boxed Set Page 44
