It hadn’t always been that way, but Evelyn had no wish to discuss feelings better left unexplored. “We’ve been friends for years.”
“So have you and Boyd.”
Evelyn laughed. “Yes, but I couldn't handle all that wildness and oozing charm.”
“Then why not Duke?” he asked with a grin.
She shook her head. “I could never marry a lawman. I’d always be afraid he’d go to work and never come home. Duke is steady, but too high a risk. Besides,” Evelyn added with a grin to lighten the conversation, “neither one asked me to marry him.”
Radford smiled. “Well, it’s a good thing one of us did. Ma’s sure happy about getting you for a daughter-in-law. She’s always bragged about her little angel.”
Evelyn didn’t feel like an angel. She had noticed far more than was modest about her future brother-in-law since he'd been home.
“Your mother’s biased because she helped raise me.”
The reminder made Radford sorry he'd said anything. He could see how Evelyn’s eyes lost a bit of their sparkle, though she tried to hide it.
Radford crossed the porch then knelt by Evelyn. The urge to stroke her hair was strong, but he withheld the hand that started to lift of its own accord. “I'm sorry I brought up hurtful memories. Since my father passed away, I've gained a deep appreciation of the pain you've suffered. We all lost someone special when your mother died.”
For the second time, Radford found himself searching Evelyn’s eyes, trying to recognize her as an old friend. But it dawned on him that she had never been his friend. She was the little neighbor girl who had played with Kyle while Radford was helping his father at the mill. During the war, she was William’s daughter. Now Evelyn was Kyle’s fiancée.
Then why was Radford seeing another woman in the shadows of Evelyn’s eyes? And why did he feel the need to reveal her?
Uneasy with his thoughts, Radford sought to redirect them. “Did you know that your mother used to spit watermelon seeds with me? She usually beat me, but we had a grand time seeing who could hit the trunk of the oak tree.”
Surprise erased the shadows in Evelyn’s eyes. “My mother did that?”
Radford lifted a strand of Evelyn’s hair and tucked it behind her ear. He trailed his fingers down the silky skein before releasing it. “Your father laid wagers with my dad.”
A gasp of laughter escaped Evelyn. “They wagered on my mother spitting?”
Radford nodded and swiped at a maple leaf that skittered across the porch floor. He was glad he’d made her laugh. He liked her laugh. The leaf, slightly tinged by autumn color, landed on the freshly painted floor. He plucked it up. “Your mother told me that to catch a falling magnolia petal would make a wish come true. I don’t know if it works with maple leaves, but we can try. Make a wish, Tomboy.” He tossed the leaf and watched it flutter to the grass.
“I wish you’d tell me another story about my mother. It makes me feel like she's still alive.”
Radford saw the bittersweet remembrance in her eyes and he ached for her. He knew the magnitude of that loss, understood the helplessness, the anger, the yearning. “I wish she was,” he said. “She was an unforgettable lady.”
“I wish I remembered her better. Papa says I resemble her, but I can’t see it.”
Radford smiled and cupped Evelyn’s paint-speckled cheek. “She was beautiful, Evelyn. And so are you.”
“Paying compliments to my fiancée?” Kyle asked, planting his foot on the bottom step with enough force to make it shudder.
Radford jerked his hand from Evelyn’s startled face and glanced into Kyle’s snapping eyes.
“Well?” Kyle demanded, his angry gaze swinging between Evelyn and Radford. “You seem quite taken with my fiancée, Radford.”
“I think I smell our dinner scorching,” Radford said to Evelyn, then sighed with relief when she rushed into the house. The look on Kyle’s face told him there would be unpleasant questions that Evelyn didn’t deserve being subjected to.
“I asked what you were doing,” Kyle said, his voice growing harder.
“I was scrubbing paint off Evelyn’s chin.” Radford forced a nonchalance he didn’t feel. “If I were you, I wouldn’t ask her to do the painting in your house.”
Kyle’s brow went up. “She seems capable.”
Evelyn was good at everything she did, but Radford was trying to keep Kyle from misconstruing an awkward but innocent situation. “Let’s just say she’s better off in the livery.” He knew that would please Evelyn immensely, but make his life hell. He needed some distance from her to clear his head of the dangerous thoughts that had been plaguing him the past few weeks.
Kyle crossed his arms, his scowl deepening. “Do you need the help, or do you just like the company?”
Radford sighed and stood up. “Kyle, we were talking about her mother. Evelyn misses her. That’s all it was about.”
Kyle eyed Radford for a long moment as if deciding whether to believe him. “That had better be all it was.”
“I’m your brother, for chrissake! What do you think was going on?”
They stared at each other for several tense seconds before Kyle’s shoulders relaxed and he gave a dismissive shrug. “Forget it. I wasn’t suggesting anything.”
Yes he was, Radford thought, but was too relieved that the suspicion in Kyle’s voice had disappeared. “Look, just go in and let me clean these brushes.”
Without a word, Kyle climbed the steps and went inside.
Radford gathered the bucket and brushes and cursed himself all the way to the livery. Where the hell had his brain gone during those few minutes with Evelyn? Nothing had existed except the desire to remove the sadness brimming in her lovely eyes, but how could he have led them into such an awkward situation? Radford had no right touching Evelyn, not even innocently. He had no business wondering what secrets she kept hidden. No matter how she stirred his curiosity, or how his heart ached for her loss, he should have kept his hands to himself. Gads! He had enough problems with Kyle over the mill. He couldn’t afford to add jealousy to the mix.
Resolved to get out of the house and salve Kyle’s ruffled feathers, Radford rushed through supper then tossed his napkin at his brooding brother. “Finish up and you can show what you’ve done on your house before it gets too dark to see.”
Kyle quirked a brow. “You’re finally going to get over there?”
Radford glanced at Rebecca. He’d been waiting for her to warm up to his mother so he could leave her there in the evenings, but Rebecca still wasn’t ready. He would just have to take her with him. “Are you too tired to go for a walk with Daddy?”
Before Rebecca could answer, William set his glass down with a thunk. “Would you carry Grandpa’s plate to the sink, sweetpea?” he said to Rebecca. She nodded, slid off the chair, then gripped the plate with both hands. “Thank you, darlin’.” As Rebecca went to the sink, William slanted a look at Radford. “You don’t need to drag that little one everywhere you go. Let her stay here and help Evelyn with the dishes.”
“I’m not sure she’ll want to stay.”
“Let’s find out.” William tapped his spoon against his glass to get Rebecca’s attention. “I forgot to give you my spoon,” he said, grinning when she eagerly returned for it. “Might as well take your daddy’s plate, too.”
Rebecca’s face brightened and she hurried to Radford’s side. He handed her his empty plate, but before she turned away, Kyle tapped her shoulder. “Do you want to take mine, too?” he asked.
When she nodded with enthusiasm, he stacked his plate on the one she held, then laid his empty glass on top. He ruffled Rebecca’s hair as she turned away, but she was too busy concentrating on the glass that rolled against her chest.
Too late, Radford realized he should have removed the glass. Rebecca had only taken two steps before it rolled over the edge and shattered against the floor. The plates flipped sideways and she clutched them to her chest, covering the front of her dress with gravy and leftover pota
toes. She stared down in horror at the broken glass surrounding her scuffed shoes.
Evelyn knelt in front of Rebecca before Radford could leave his chair. She took the plates and put them on the floor. “I break glasses all the time so don’t you worry about it.” She wiped the front of Rebecca’s soiled dress with a dish towel then gently bumped her chin with the bunched-up cloth.
Rebecca’s mouth puckered and the tears she tried to hold back spilled over her lashes.
“Oh, honey.” Evelyn swept her arms around Rebecca and rocked her. “Don’t worry about that old glass. It doesn’t matter one bit.”
“It broke,” Rebecca cried.
Evelyn stroked her back. “It’s all right.” Her gaze went to Kyle. “What were you thinking?” she asked, her voice soft, but somehow condemning.
Radford saw the regret in his brother’s eyes as Kyle looked at Rebecca. “I guess I wasn’t.” He pushed back his chair and stood. “Looks like I’d better learn before we have our own.” Kyle patted Rebecca’s shoulder then reached down to pick up the pieces of glass.
William flapped a hand at him. “Leave that. She’ll be over this before you boys cross the yard. Now get goin’ or you won’t get anything done tonight.”
Radford would have rather stayed and comforted his daughter, but William’s steady gaze told him Evelyn’s arms could do the job. Though his conscience lingered behind in the kitchen with his little girl, Radford followed Kyle outside and across the apple orchard.
“Sorry,” Kyle said, keeping pace with Radford. “I feel like an ass.”
“I know the feeling. Rebecca suffers my poor judgment all the time,” Radford said. “If she’s survived my mistakes, she’ll survive yours.”
“I wasn’t just talking about Rebecca.”
“I know.” Radford swung an arm around Kyle’s shoulder and gave him a fond shake. “Forget it.” A fresh breeze lifted Radford’s hair off his forehead and he suddenly welcomed the few hours of freedom. “Let’s drag our little brothers out of the house.”
Duke and Boyd were lounging in the parlor when Radford and Kyle hauled them from the sofa. They walked four abreast down Liberty Street, talking and bumping shoulders. Their feet struck up a rhythm on the hard-packed earth as they unwittingly matched their strides, their long legs stretching out in front of them as they walked a few hundred yards beyond the sawmill.
“We just finished framing it up last night,” Kyle said, heading into the field beside the sawmill where the ribs of his house stood like a skeleton in the grass. He pointed to a spot in the northeast corner of the house. “The parlor will be there, the kitchen beside it, and the main bedroom in the back. There'll be more upstairs, but I'll finish them off after we move in.”
Boyd's eyebrows shot up. “Are you trying to hurry this along for any special reason, Kyle? Could you be getting eager to get your bride in her master’s bed?”
Duke grinned, but Radford felt a tug in his gut at the thought of Evelyn in Kyle’s bed. Irritated by his constant preoccupation with Evelyn, Radford cursed under his breath. Maybe he should have just kissed her the night she woke him from his nightmare and just gotten it out of his system. She’d have probably slapped his face, but that might have put an end to his attraction before it had a chance to manifest itself.
“I want to get the house up so I can concentrate on expanding the mill,” Kyle said, ignoring Boyd’s jab. “If we add another saw, it should increase our output by another twenty thousand feet a day.”
Boyd glanced at the mill with a critical eye. “I suppose we could manage if Radford ran the new saw.”
“He’ll be running the livery.”
“Radford should be sawing timber, not shoveling horse shit.”
“I’ll run mill myself, Boyd!”
Kyle's sudden irascibility surprised Radford—and made him angry. He was staying away to put Kyle at ease, to give him time to accept his presence again, but it appeared nothing was changing. Kyle was still possessive and territorial. A flash of irritation prodded Radford to defend his position, to have it out with Kyle and let the pieces fall where they may, but one glance at the mill made the words die in his mouth. The vast business was created with Kyle’s sweat. Not his.
“Once you’re married,” Boyd said, “you wont think of anything but getting back in bed with your wife.”
A slow, reluctant smile appeared on Kyle’s face. He took off his dusty hat and smacked Boyd on the shoulder. “You’re a pain in the ass.”
Boyd grinned. “It’s my mission in life.”
With a grudging laugh, Kyle propped his boot on a large rock. “Think we can roll this monster away from the house?”
His eyes were filled with mischievous challenge and so reminiscent of the old Kyle that Radford felt an acute pang of melancholy. There were many times during their youth when the four of them would combine their strength to achieve tasks they couldn't accomplish individually. In the deepest part of Radford’s wounded soul, he missed the uncomplicated comradery they had all shared in those days.
Taking up the challenge, the four of them squatted next to the rock, digging their fingers beneath the lowest possible crag until they each signaled their readiness by a nod of the head. Radford counted off three measured beats, then gave the command to lift. Heads dropped and shoulders hunched. Necks corded and muscles strained.
Radford glanced at the reddened faces of his brothers, and in that moment, the importance of moving the rock, of succeeding together became a symbol of belonging for him. The stone dug into his shoulder and he felt his forearms scrape across the gritty sides as the pressure built in his chest. Slowly, slowly, he felt the rock leave the sucking, wet earth. With a loud growl they bowled it over until it rolled like a listing ship. For good measure they gave it one more shove until the dirt-covered bottom faced the sky. Hoots of triumph abounded as they gasped for breath.
Boyd sat on top of the filthy rock and hung his head. “Why the hell didn't we just hitch up a horse?”
Radford squeezed Boyd’s shoulder. “You're missing the point. We didn’t need a horse because we had each other.” With their combined strength, the four of them had been able to move the boulder, but more importantly, his brothers couldn't have done it without Radford’s help. In those few moments they had needed him.
Boyd slapped his hands to his thighs and stood. “It’s too late to do any work tonight. Let’s go to the Pemberton. Kyle’s buying.”
“Like hell,” Kyle said. “Duke and I bought last time. You can put your money on the bar for a change.”
Boyd caught Radford around the neck and pulled him along behind Kyle. “I think it’s your turn, Radford.”
Two loud snorts came from Duke and Kyle, making Radford laugh. Their youngest brother was a clever rascal with a manipulative side, but Radford couldn’t have loved Boyd more than he did in that moment. Boyd’s ability to charm anyone who crossed his path was a talent. His ability to make Radford laugh was a welcome gift.
Chapter Ten
Patrick Lyons thumped four foaming mugs on the bar in front of Radford and his brothers. Boyd caught his wrist. “Let’s go a round, Pat. I win, you buy this round.”
Pat grinned and planted his elbow on the bar, but Duke yanked Boyd back by the collar. He dragged him to the empty stools at the far end of the bar. “I came to drink tonight, not break up a brawl because you idiots overturned some unsuspecting patron.”
Kyle smirked at Radford. “This ought to be good for a free round. Maybe you should try Patrick next. You stomped his ass a few years ago.”
“No, thanks,” Radford said. “I’ve been in enough battles without adding arm-wrestling.”
“The war was a long time ago.”
Radford rotated the bottom of his mug on the oak top of the bar, watching the golden liquid swirl up the sides. He gestured down the bar where Boyd was giving his victory whoop. “Every time I look at Boyd, I see Dad. He loved tipping with William and cutting up like Boyd is doing.”
“All Boyd does is raise hell. One minute he’s got me splitting my sides over some dumb stunt he’s pulled, and in the next second I want to pound him for being such a pain in the ass.” Kyle shook his head and laughed. “Actually, he’s just like Dad in that way.”
“Yeah. Kind of tough to see it so clearly tonight without getting dragged down.” Radford turned to Kyle with a melancholy smile. “Guess I'd just like to enjoy a beer without a head full of restless memories.”
Kyle nodded as though he understood, but silence stretched between them for several uncomfortable minutes before he spoke. “Is it because you can’t stand the memories? Is that why you left after Dad’s funeral?”
Radford snorted. “Hell, I left for so many reasons I'm not sure I could list them all.”
“I've always wondered if it was because of me.”
Radford's eyebrows went up. “You?”
Kyle nodded. “Seems like I was always giving you grief. You know how I taunted you for joining a war I thought was senseless? Well, I guess I was just jealous that you were fighting for an honorable cause, earning respect, and making Dad so proud all he could talk about was you. I was pissed that he wouldn’t let me go with you.”
Surprise rushed through Radford. “Why? You should be counting your blessings that you didn’t. I sure as hell wouldn't want to do it again.”
“You were excited enough when you left for Syracuse to volunteer with William. What happened? I've always wanted to ask, but you close up when the war is mentioned.”
Radford took a long drink from his mug then placed it on the counter. “You ever killed a man?” he asked quietly.
Kyle’s brows shot up. “No.”
“Well, it's the worst feeling you could ever experience. It doesn't sound bad saying the word, but it's sickening to hear a man scream and watch your bayonet sink into his chest while he stares at you in disbelief. It was the eyes that haunted me most. The way they’d drain of life and glaze over right there in front of me is something I’ll never forget.” He paused, then looked at Kyle. “I did that to men.”
Shades of Honor Page 9
