Sins of the Innocent: A Novella

by Jamie McGuire

  “Eden,” he whispered, reaching for me again.

  But I grabbed his shirt and shoved him against the face of the building. The windows trembled in response. He didn’t fight back, but superlative disappointment weighed down his eyes.

  “Don’t,” I snarled, “ever touch me again.”

  Levi looked at Bex and then back at me, his jaw working under the skin. “Not unless you ask.”

  “I won’t.” I released him and then gestured for Bex to follow.

  Levi didn’t try to stop me, and Bex managed to walk with me all the way to the Audi without speaking.

  The moment I pulled out onto the road, Bex shook his head and sighed. “Eden, there’s something you should know.”

  “Just keep it to yourself, Bex. I’m sure there are a lot of things you know that I don’t because that’s just how our family works. But Levi was drawing me like poison back there, and he is the last person I want to have that effect on me. He’s dangerous. He’s toxic. This could only end badly. So, just don’t tell me, okay? This time, I want to be left in the dark.”

  “You sure?”

  “No,” I said, my breath faltering.

  “Damn it,” he said under his breath, already regretting what he was about to say. “You love him.”

  I recoiled. “I barely know him!”

  “No, you’ve loved him before. Before now. Before you were sent here.”

  “Sent here?”

  “You know what I mean, Eden. Humans are recycled souls. They choose their parents, what lessons they learn, what kind of life they’ll lead. They choose the experience like food from a menu. This situation is not unlike theirs.”

  “I’m not human, Bex. I didn’t choose this.”

  “Agreed. But there seems to always be a method to the madness.”

  “How do you know all of this?” I asked, wiping a tear from my cheek.

  “I’ve been translating the scrolls all week. The Bible doesn’t cover this part, so I’ve been digging up the texts King James left out.”

  I yanked over the wheel and parked before looking over at my uncle. He had trouble meeting my eyes.

  “I thought the whole business of having a Taleh was cruel. I thought letting go of Allison was torture. It’s nothing like I thought.”

  “Then what is it?” I asked.

  “You were right,” Bex said, his voice low. “You’ve always kept the Balance.”

  “So, I’m like Eli? Or I was?”

  “You’re powerful. You’re not a hybrid, not an Arch.”

  “Right, I’m neutral. But I disobeyed him.” I blinked, a sinking feeling weighing me down as realization set in. “Like Moses. Like Lucifer.” Tears were streaming over my cheeks. “Did I fall in love with Levi because I was sent to Hell?”

  “I don’t know yet.”

  I ran my thumbnail along my bottom lip. “I’ve already failed.”

  He slowly shook his head. “You’ve never failed. You disobeyed. But you were sent here as a second chance, Eden.”

  I stared at him while tears welled up in my eyes. “Is that what the scrolls said?”

  Bex touched my shoulder. “It’s what Eli said.”

  I wiped my cheeks until they were dry. “You’ve spoken to him?”

  “Jared did … just briefly. Levi defecting and turning mortal has changed everything. But Eli wouldn’t say much. What we do know is that everyone is on edge. The situation is precarious.”

  “So, now what?”

  “The translation of the scrolls is slow. It’s a dead language, you know.”

  “I guess it doesn’t matter. I can’t imagine this would be solved with an apology.”

  “I think that’s exactly what this is all about. He’s offering you redemption.”

  I turned to look out the window, chewing on my thumbnail. “Did I forsake my station for Levi?”

  “If you’re neutral, you should get to love who you want.”

  I glanced over my shoulder at my uncle. “Oh my God, that’s it. When I fell in love with the Levi, I couldn’t be neutral.”

  Bex’s eyes fell to the console between us. He knew I was right.

  “But”—I slapped the steering wheel, and it whined under my twisting grip—“I’m not in love with him!”

  “You sure about that?” Bex asked.

  “Yes! We just met! And he’s not even that cute!” I frowned. “Okay, that’s a lie. He’s beautiful.”

  Bex looked disgusted at my admission.

  “If I just don’t love him, if I carry out my purpose, does that mean I’ll be forgiven?”

  “I don’t know. It would make sense, but it doesn’t seem like he’s going to let it go. And Eli said—”

  “Levi is an arrogant ass. It shouldn’t be that hard to stay away from him.”

  “Whatever happened between you two, he’s hung on to it all this time. You were separated, and the moment he found out you had been sent here, he defected. He betrayed his entire dominion for you. Do you think that’s something you can ignore?”

  “I’m going to try.”

  “That’s the big plan then. Evasion,” he deadpanned.

  “Sounds good to me,” I said, gunning the engine toward home.

  The elevator ascended, chiming at almost every floor, letting businessmen and women on and off. I stood shoulder to shoulder with the employees of my mom’s company, Titan Shipping, but few recognized me. Unlike her, I spent my days training for something she called much more important.

  The stainless steel walls reflected every movement, every glance down at the floor, while strangers stood in close quarters, waiting to be set free or for more people to join us. Some held files, and some cleared their throats or sighed, anything to fill the awkward silence.

  By the time I reached the top floor, only two remained. The doors opened, and a man gestured for me to go ahead.

  “Thank you,” I said.

  I passed him and walked down the hall, straight to Mom’s office. I greeted her longtime assistant, Beth, whose eyes widened with recognition.

  “I don’t believe it!” she said with a trace of her Oklahoma accent. “What brings you downtown?”

  “I need to speak with my mom, please.”

  “Of course. I’ll just tell her you’re here.” She picked up the phone and wedged it between her cheek and shoulder, shuffling papers and winking at me while she waited. “A pretty young lady is here to see you. She looks like your husband. Okay, a little like you, too.”

  Beth smiled and set down the phone onto its base. “Go on in. And don’t let it be a year before I see you again, okay?”

  “Yes, ma’am,” I said, passing by her desk.

  I turned the knob on the door that still read both Mom’s and my grandfather’s names. Her office hadn’t changed since I was little, if ever. She still used grandfather’s phone, the chair was more than just comfortably worn, and the same paintings were on the paneled walls. Every time I visited, it was like going back in time.

  Mom was sitting at her desk, navigating her mouse. After a few quick clicks, she rolled her chair away from her monitor, so she was in full view. “Well, this must be important.”

  “You know why I don’t come here.”

  She nodded. “It never gets better? I suppose, with Grant being across the hall, the Others would still come around. The Archs do tend to attract them.”

  I frowned. Grant was grandfather’s old partner, and he’d run Titan until Mom was ready. Dad didn’t care for him, but we tried to respect grandfather’s wishes. As overconfident and flirtatious as Grant was, one more person to protect her was hard to complain about.

  “It’s not him. It’s this building.”

  “Right. Well, I suppose Jack using it as a hub for trading stolen relics outdating the Bible would make it sort of a hotspot. Have a seat, honey.”

  As I got comfortable in the plush leather chair in front of her desk, Beth knocked on the door just before entering. “Just wanted to let you know that I hav
e the Bergman meeting at three, and then I’m going home to pack.”

  “Thank you,” Mom said with a smile. “Have a safe trip.”

  Beth waved at me. “Maybe we can plan a dinner at the new house when I get back? Chad makes a pretty mean barbeque chicken.”

  “I remember,” I said.

  Beth’s shoulders fell, but her smile remained. “I know you’re busy. I just hate it that we don’t see much of you anymore. Just if you have time.”

  “You’re right,” Mom said. “We need to make it a priority this summer before Eden starts classes at Brown.”

  “Congratulations on getting in, by the way,” Beth said. “As if there were any doubt.”

  “Thank you,” I said, smiling.

  Beth closed the door behind her.

  “She’s meeting with the Bergmans? Isn’t that one of your biggest accounts?”

  Mom nodded. “Yes, and Beth landed that account. I’ve tried to give her an office at least a dozen times. She won’t take it. She insists I’ll never find an assistant as good as her. She’s right.”

  “She doesn’t ask questions either,” I pointed out.

  “True. She never has.”

  “You at least pay her like you would a partner?”

  “She just bought a seven-thousand-square-foot house in College Hill. She’s well taken care of. Thank you for your concern.” Mom’s sarcastic tone wasn’t fully committed.

  She ran Titan much like grandfather had. As a woman, she had to be even less patient and forgiving, and she found it difficult to let down her walls when I came to visit, which was why I didn’t come often.

  Mom took a deep breath, willing herself to relax. “How did training go this morning?”

  “Bex is nursing a broken rib. Claire really needs to learn when to quit.”

  Mom laughed out loud. “I wouldn’t count on that. Did you say hi to Daddy on your way in?”

  “Dad? Yes, I did. He’s reading Faulkner—again.”

  Mom chuckled. “The Sound and the Fury?”

  I nodded.

  She shook her head. “He’s obsessed. I think the confusion keeps his mind off … things.”

  “Mom, you remember what it’s like, right? Trying to figure things out. Trying to do the right thing. Wondering if every choice will ruin everything?”

  She sighed and rested her cheek on her hand. “Remember? I don’t think it ever stops. But it’s that way for everyone, honey. The stakes are just a little higher for us.”

  “Just a little?” I teased.

  “A little,” she said, smiling. “Beth returns on Friday. Keep your weekend free.”

  I nodded, absently staring out Mom’s large windows overlooking downtown.

  “Eden?”

  “Yes?” I said, not tearing my eyes away from the outside world. It was so jarring to watch mortals live out their lives without the slightest clue as to how much went on behind the scenes.

  “The boy.”

  I blinked, returning my attention to her. “What about him?”

  “Is that why you’re here?”

  “I just came to say hi, Mom.”

  “I’m glad. But you never come here.”

  I closed my eyes, feeling the flapping wings pushing a dark breeze through my soul. Talons, teeth, and hatred—that was all that surrounded her building. Only three points of light broke up the darkness—my parents and Grant. I was glad my mom couldn’t sense these things, but I often wondered how Grant could work here every day.

  “Remember when you used to take me down to the pier?”

  She smiled, losing herself in the memory. “And the park and down the coast …”

  “Maybe we could do that again? Before fall semester?”

  “Yes.” She swallowed the jagged edges of her lie.

  She knew as well as I did that recent events were the build to the finale of our family as we once knew it. College would likely not be an experience I would live long enough to have.

  “Maybe I could just let Beth take over for the summer?”

  “Mom, no. Life as usual, right?”

  Her heart sped up, and her muscles tensed. “Right.”

  She stood, and I did, too, leaning in as she took me into her arms. She was a few inches shorter than me, even in heels.

  “Eden,” she began, “if Levi is going to make this right, let him. But don’t let him be the reason I lose you.” She held me at bay, looking into my eyes. “Promise me.”

  “Stop worrying. I’m going to stay away from him.”

  “Oh? Why?”

  “Bex figured out that … I, um … it’s a long story. I don’t quite understand it myself.”

  “Try me,” she said, unamused.

  “I’ve been offered a second chance.”

  She waited.

  “This life … my purpose … ugh. It sounds crazy.”

  “Who do you think you’re talking to?”

  I rolled my eyes. “Fine. I’m kind of like Eli. I’ve always been around. I’ve always been the Keeper of the Balance.”

  Mom arched an eyebrow and returned to her desk.

  “I disobeyed,” I continued. “I’m not sure how. It has something to do with Levi.”

  “I think it has everything to do with Levi.”

  “I fell in love with him. It disturbed the Balance. I failed.”

  Mom leaned forward and intertwined her fingers. I felt like she was getting ready to lecture me or ground me or both. “You’ve fallen in love with him?”

  “No. I fell in love with him before.”

  She watched me, suspicious. “You’re sure?”

  “Eli confirmed it. So did Bex. Dad knows.”

  She sighed. “Of course he does. What about Levi?”

  “He was told to kill me, but then he found out who I really was, so he left and came here as a human.”

  “Are we talking immaculate conception?”

  I made a face. “No. I’m sure he chose the first financially stable woman who blacked out at a party and woke up pregnant. He’s the son of Satan, not Christ. He doesn’t care how he got here.”

  “Interesting,” she said, tapping a pen on her desk. “It’s all coming together then.”

  “Looks that way. Everything is going to be okay, just like Dad said.”

  She crossed her arms, sitting back in her executive’s chair, and then stood up. She walked around her desk and put a finger on my chest. “Don’t coddle me.” She smoothed a stray hair and then touched my cheek. “You’re so like your father that way. I’m human, but emotions don’t mean that I’m weak.”

  I shook my head. “I’ve never thought you were weak. You did save me from Satan once.”

  “Damn right I did. And I’d do it again.” She hugged me, this time tighter.

  I held her as close as I could without hurting her, and then the moment I sensed she might cry, I let her go, but she kept hold of my arms.

  “You didn’t just come by to say hi. Ask me.”

  I hesitated. “Do you regret anything? Falling in love with Dad? Learning about his world?”

  “Not a single second. It brought me the two greatest loves of my life.”

  “If you’ve loved someone once … can you stop?”

  She shrugged. “People do it all the time, but only if they want to. What is this about, Eden?”

  “I’m afraid this all looks like a choice, but none of it really is. I’m afraid I’m being set up to fail.”

  “Fear isn’t real. Isn’t that what you always say?”

  “No, I think I got that one from Dad.”

  “No,” Mom said with a smile. “That one was all you. You’ve said it since you were five.”

  I thought about that. “Really? Kind of an odd thing for a five-year-old to say.”

  “You weren’t an ordinary five-year-old.”

  I sensed Bex moving farther away and Claire’s arrival. “I’d better go,” I said.

  Mom kissed my cheek. “I love you. I expect to be notified if anythi
ng changes.”

  “Like what?”

  “Oh, you know … news, an attack, war …”

  “I think you would know if there were a war.”

  A ghost of a smile touched her lips. “Not if your father could help it.”

  I laughed once. “I’ll see you at dinner. I’m sure nothing will change between now and then.”

  I left Titan for the white light of the hot summer sun and the birds singing from their perch on the electrical wires and maple branches. Somehow, the blue sky and freshly cut grass couldn’t pull me from the storms inside my soul.

  Claire stood next to my Audi, her backside leaning against the front fender. Her arms were crossed, her eyes shielded behind enormous sunglasses with round white frames to match her platinum-white hair and skinny jeans. Her stiletto thigh-high boots were peep-toe and black, like her shirt. They were the only pieces besides her bright orange nail polish that broke up the glaring glow of the rest of her ensemble.

  She lowered her chin and looked at me over her glasses, pushing them down for dramatic emphasis. “You look like hell. That’s okay. Talking to Nina sometimes makes me feel that way, too.”

  I made a face, trying not to smile, while fishing my keys from my pocket.

  “You should have your keys ready. What if something attacked you while you were walking to your car?”

  “Then I would fight back.”

  “Keys make a great weapon.”

  I sighed. “Does it ever stop being a lesson?”

  She looked offended. “Have I ever talked down to you?”

  “You just did.”

  “I’m just being Captain Obvious. Get in the car.”

  I obeyed, sitting behind the wheel and buckling my seat belt, while Claire took her time to walk around and open the car door. She yanked off her glasses and blew her blunt-cut bangs from her eyes.

  My bottom lip trembled. I could handle a lot of things, but Claire being mad at me wasn’t one of them.

  “What?” she asked.

  “Haven’t you heard? Hell wants me dead, so I’m out of the way. Heaven is trying to teach me some cosmic lesson, and …”

  Claire smirked. “Your boyfriend’s back? Yeah, I’ve heard.”

  “I realize that, as a family, we’ve beaten impossible odds before, but this is overwhelming.”

  She waved me off. “Just stay away from him.”