“It is,” I agree. No reason to sugarcoat it. “So we can’t afford to take any chances. You’ll need to get your brother here, for his own safety.” I pause. “I know you and he ain’t doin’ great right now. Is this something you’ll need help with? Because if you think he’s gonna resist, I can send some of the men to bring him in.”
Offering to basically kidnap her brother seems to show Jewel the gravity of the situation. She turns her face up to me, looking suddenly vulnerable. A mixture of fear and worry is etched in her features. “Is everything going to be okay, Angel?” she half-whispers.
Something about the way she’s looking at me knots my stomach up inside. I know Jewel’s been on her own for a long time. And right now, I can see in her face just how used she is to facing shit on her own. It makes me want to reassure her — and especially, to protect her.
“Don’t worry, darlin’.” My voice comes out gruff. “It’ll all be fine. I promise.”
She gives me a smile, her lower lip trembling slightly. “Okay,” she says with a forced laugh. “I’m gonna hold you to that.”
I’ll hold you to me, after this is over.
The thought is in my head before I know what the fuck is going on. My cock is hard as a goddamn bat again before I even realize it. Must just be the adrenaline. I always get all keyed up before battles like this one go down. All I wanna do is drink, fight, or fuck, and usually all three. But whatever it is, all of a sudden it feels like all the air has gone out of the fuckin’ room.
“You need us to pick up your brother?” I rasp, workin’ to push down the urge to pick her up and carry her to my bed.
“No.” Jewel whispers. I can hear her breathing, see the rise and fall of her breasts under her tight T-shirt. Fuck, my balls ache right now. “I’ll get Jude here,” she continues, swallowing hard. “Just let me know when you’re gonna lock the doors.”
12
Jewel
Jude is amazed by the inside of the clubhouse. And how many Lords there are. He actually seems impressed, though he’s trying hard not to show it.
I thought getting Jude to agree to this lockdown would be next to impossible, despite telling Angel I could handle it. And at first, he definitely resisted. But to my surprise, I think curiosity got the better of him. So, now, here we are — each of us ready to spend at least the next forty-eight hours locked in with the Lords of Carnage and their families.
We get here at dusk, a couple of hours before the lockdown is supposed to start. There are already quite a few people at the clubhouse when we arrive. Lords are barking orders, prospects are busy moving furniture and hauling in crates of food. Old ladies are chasing their children around and talking about where everyone’s going to sleep. It would almost seem like a fun summer camp for them, except there’s just a hint of tension in the air — though the kids don’t seem to feel it.
“How many guys are in this club?” Jude asks me as I stow our bags behind the bar. He’s looking around in wonder at the pool tables, the full liquor stock I keep behind the counter — and especially at three of the club girls, Melanie, Tammy, and Rachel. They’re standing over in one corner, being generally useless and pretending they don’t know a horny teenage kid is watching them.
“Uh, I dunno,” I reply, trying to think. “A couple dozen, I guess. With the prospects. But they won’t all get in. So…” I trail off with a shrug.
“What’s a prospect?”
“Like, someone who wants to be accepted into the club. They call it ‘patching in’.” I reach down into the fridge and grab him a Coke, setting it on the bar in front of him. I’m not going to give him the opportunity to ask me for a beer, let alone something stronger. “Even to get to be a prospect, you already have to prove your dedication to the club. Then, from being a prospect to getting patched in as a full member, there’s a lot of extra stuff you have to do.”
“Like what?” Jude’s stopped looking at the club girls and turned toward me, fully interested. Absently, he opens the Coke and takes a drink. This is already by far the longest conversation we’ve had since he arrived in Tanner Springs. My stomach flips at the realization. I suddenly feel incredibly nervous, but I do my best to act casual and not show it.
“Well, I don’t know all of what they have to do.” I decide to grab a Coke for myself, and go around the bar to sit beside him on one of the stools. “Most of what I see is them having to basically obey any order a Lord gives them, no matter how small or large. Anything from running errands for them, to washing their bike, to even doing stuff that’s more like hazing, just to mess with them. Like slamming an entire bottle of Jack, or running laps around the clubhouse, or something.” As I remember examples I’ve seen, I have to suppress a laugh at the thought of one prospect Thorn made do laps around the clubhouse — wearing one of the club girls’ mini-skirts and a pair of her high heels.
Jude scoffs at the idea. “That sounds fucked up,” he says, puffing out his chest. “I wouldn’t do that kind of pussy shit, man.”
“I don’t think that’s what it’s about,” I argue. “I mean, I’m not in the club, of course, but I’ve been around long enough to sort of understand why they do it.” Pausing to take a drink, I weigh my words. “It’s like this: prospects are forced to complete tasks, and yeah, some of them make you look like a fool. Plus, there’s probably a bunch of things I don’t know about, that are a lot more serious trials. Dangerous, even. But there’s a reason for all of it. They’re checking to see how devoted you are to the Lords. How much you’re willing to check your ego at the door. You have to prove yourself. Because if doing something you think is humiliating is too hard, then how are you going to act when the club asks you to do something really hard? Like risk your life?”
Jude is silent for a second. “Maybe,” he finally mutters.
“Think about it this way, Jude,” I continue. “We’re going into lockdown, right? I already explained to you what that means. The club is in the middle of something dangerous, and the families are here so the club can protect them. This isn’t playing make-believe. I don’t know the specifics, but I do know that they don’t do this unless something big is happening. People are going to die. Hopefully none of the Lords, but I know it’s always a possibility.” I pause, and wait until he looks at me. “So, when you’re in a situation like this, how can you protect your club — your family — unless you are absolutely one-hundred percent sure you can trust every single person in it?” I lean back and tilt my head to the side. “That’s what prospecting is for. To make sure you can trust the person one-hundred percent to do whatever is needed — with no questions or hesitation — before bringing him in.”
“Hey, Jewel.”
I swivel on my chair to see Hale’s bearded face. “Hey, Hale, what’s up?”
“Need to know whether we’ve got enough booze. We’ve got just enough time to send a couple of the prospects out to make a run, if not.”
“No worries,” I assure him. “We’ve got enough to last us a good week. I made sure of it yesterday.”
Hale grins. “Good deal.” His gaze slides over to Jude and his grin fades. “You again, huh?” he growls, lip curling into a sneer. “You gonna mind your manners, or are you the type who needs to learn a lesson more than once?”
Jude slides back on his stool an inch or two. It’s clear he hasn’t forgotten the man who punched him to the ground last time he was here. He doesn’t answer. Instead, he cuts his glance to his Coke like he didn’t hear Hale.
“Why the fuck are we bein’ locked in here, anyway?” he mutters.
“None of your goddamn business.” Hale barks. “Just be glad Angel gives a shit about Jewel and is willing to take in her sorry-ass brother, too.” He gives Jude a hard stare. “I got my eye on you, you understand me? Don’t give Jewel or anyone else any trouble, or you’ll get reacquainted with my fist real quick.”
With a last glance at me, Hale turns and stalks away. Next to me, I feel Jude relax, and try not to chuckle. It’s honest
ly sort of nice to have someone else keep him in line, since I seem to be doing such a bad job of it.
“Come on,” I murmur, sliding off my stool. “I’ll take you on a tour of the clubhouse. Pay attention to the places I tell you are off limits.”
We grab our Cokes, and I take him down the hall away from the main room. I show him the kitchen, where Jenna, Sydney, and a bunch of other women are putting away groceries. I point out Angel’s office, telling him not to even think about going in there. Then there’s Tweak’s room, with its banks of computers and other tech equipment — also strictly forbidden. There are a couple of other stock rooms and various storage closets. Then we stop in the game room, with its enormous flat-screen TV. There are three kids in here. Two of them are playing a video game: Noah, and Lila, Brooke’s thirteen year-old unofficial foster kid. Watching them play is ten year-old Connor, Sam and Hawk’s son.
I’m surprised to see Lila here, and say so.
“Yeah,” she drawls indifferently, tossing her mess of red curls. Her eyes never leave the screen, her hands working the controls of the game as she talks. “My ma’s out of town for a couple of weeks. My aunt’s supposed to be taking care of me, but…” Lila frowns slightly, her eyes glued to the screen. “She didn’t want me there, anyway. I was hangin’ around all day at Brooke’s gym, and she kinda figured out I didn’t have anywhere to go, so… here I am.”
My heart goes out to this girl, already so tough at such a young age. Lila’s a local kid that Brooke has recently taken under her wing. Brooke owns and operates a non-profit that she started to help young girls learn self-defense and self-empowerment. Brooke herself grew up in kind of tough circumstances, and she’s made it her mission to make sure that other girls who are at risk of falling through the cracks have somewhere to go to feel wanted and loved. Brooke has told me more than once that Lila reminds her of a younger version of herself.
I can only imagine what it must be like to have the adults in your life be so absent. As much as my parents made it clear that Jude and I were a nuisance, at least they fed us and kept a roof over our heads,. I make a mental note to take Brooke aside and tell her how wonderful it is that she’s taken Lila under her wing.
“Dammit!” Noah yells, tossing down his controller as Lila cheers. “Oh, sorry, Jewel,” he says, reddening.
“No worries,” I chuckle. “Did Lila beat you?”
“I can beat anybody at this game,” Lila snorts. She glances up at us for the first time. Her dark hazel eyes take us both in, first me and then Jude. “Who are you?” she asks him frankly.
“This is my brother, Jude,” I offer.
Lila eyes him for a second, like she’s sizing him up. “What do you say?” she asks him with a pointed stare. “You wanna be the next one to lose to me?”
Jude rolls his eyes. “Nah, that’s okay.”
“Oh, I get it. You’re too cool to play against a girl. Well, I don’t blame you, since I’d totally whoop your ass.”
Next to her, Noah lets out a low whistle.
“You don’t know what the f—” Jude stops, hesitating as he looks at Connor. “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he corrects himself.
“No?” Lila challenges. “Then prove me wrong. If you have the guts.”
Jude snorts and rolls his eyes. “Oh, brother. You have got to be kidding me.”
I stare at the two of them in fascination as they banter back and forth. This is the most emotion I’ve seen from Jude since he arrived. Watching him get sucked into arguing with Lila, I can almost glimpse the funny, open-hearted boy he used to be.
“Well, Jude,” I prompt. “Looks like you’re gonna have to put your money where your mouth is.”
Jude glances at me in annoyance, then looks back at Lila. “Okay,” he concedes. “One game.”
“Woo hoo!” Noah crows, pumping his fist. “You’re gonna get owned!”
“Hey,” a voice says behind us. “Everything good in here?”
“Hey, Uncle Angel!” Noah cries.
I turn to see Angel in the doorway. He locks eyes with me and gives me a brief nod. “Jewel,” he says softly.
A little thrill goes down my spine to hear my name on his lips, like always. Angel’s not wearing his cut, and seeing him standing there like that, black T-shirt stretched taut across his broad shoulders, I have to suppress a wave of desire that hits me like a tsunami. As much as I’ve tried to ignore it over the years, I’ve never been attracted to anyone like I am to Angel. And at times like this, where he’s right in front of me looking sexier than any man has a right to, I hardly know how I manage to stand it.
“Hi,” I stammer. “Jude, this is Angel, the president of the Lords of Carnage. Angel, this is my brother, Jude.”
Angel takes a step forward and holds out a hand. Jude stares at it for a moment before reaching out to shake it.
“Jude.” Angel repeats his name. “Jewel told you what this lockdown means? That once we close the doors, no one goes in or out without my say-so?”
“Yeah. Jewel told me,” Jude says in a low, respectful voice. He seems more than a little intimidated by Angel.
“Okay.” Angel nods like he’s satisfied. “Good. You do what your sister says, and don’t make anyone ask you to do something twice. Deal?”
Jude bobs his head. “Yeah.”
Angel steps back and addresses the other kids. “You all good here?”
Connor and Noah have started roughhousing. “We’re good!” Connor announces as he tackles Noah’s legs.
“Come on, Jude,” Lila complains, pointing to the second controller. “Time to meet your maker.”
Angel looks from Lila to Jude, amused, and then at me.
“Apparently, Jude is about to get owned,” I say, raising a brow.
Jude sighs loudly. “I am not.”
“Good luck, Lila!” I call with a grin. She gives me a thumbs up as Jude flops down on the couch beside her.
I follow Angel out of the game room. “So that’s Jude, huh?” he rumbles. “I pictured him as more of a pain in the ass.”
“Believe me, you’re seeing his good side right now,” I laugh. “Honestly, I haven’t seen him this animated since he got to Tanner Springs. It’s… quite a surprise.”
“Good,” he nods approvingly. “Being here might be good for him. The men will kick his ass if he gets outta line. And a fair number of the old ladies, too.” He glances over at me. “Walk with me.”
I do as he says, trying to tamp down the heat that Angel’s presence always starts inside me. We check in on the women to make sure they’re settling in okay. Angel stops from time to time to talk to one of the men while I hang back and converse with the old ladies. I watch and admire him as he works. As club president, he’s completely different from how Rock Anthony used to be. Rock ruled with an iron fist, and Angel does, too. But where Rock could be distant and overbearing, Angel’s strength comes from somewhere else. It’s as though he was born to be a leader. No one ever even questions it. I know the club has been through a lot in the last year, though I only get bits and pieces of the story from things I overhear. But even so, the Lords feel stronger than ever, and I know in my heart that’s due to Angel’s influence. I’ve always been attracted to him — terribly so. But in the last year, I’ve come to admire him, too.
“I’m gonna do a quick perimeter check.” Angel’s beside me now, interrupting my thoughts. “Come with me.”
I follow him outside, into the approaching nightfall. Out here, apart from the men he has standing guard at all the entrances, we’re more or less alone.
“How tough was it to get Jude to agree to come here?” he asks me as we walk.
“Less bad than I thought,” I admit. “I didn’t want to say it when you told me about the lockdown, but frankly, I thought I might have to ask you to have the Lords bring him in after all.”
“Glad it didn’t have to come to that.” Angel’s looking straight ahead. “So, Jewel,” he begins in a low, quiet voice.
“What’s the story with your family, anyway? Why did your folks kick Jude out?”
The bluntness of Angel’s question stops me in my tracks for a second. I’m not sure why, but instead of deflecting, I suddenly find myself wanting to tell Angel. So I do.
“I’m not exactly sure why,” I say. “I tried to ask Jude when he got here, but he blew me off. All my mom said was that she and my dad just couldn’t handle him anymore.” I take a deep breath and pause, considering how to start my story. “Like I kind of told you before, they… well, they weren’t the most attentive parents ever,” I begin. “They’re both immigrants. Bosnian Serbs. They left at the beginning of the Bosnian War, because my mom had a sister who had come to the States. I was born here, and of course, so was Jude.
“I never got the feeling, growing up, that they really wanted us kids at all. I don’t know why they even had them, if they didn’t want them.” I shake my head. “Sometimes I wonder if they just didn’t know enough English yet to figure out how to find birth control,” I sigh. “But whatever the reason, here we both are.
“My parents have always worked really hard, so it’s not that we didn’t have a roof over our heads or food to eat,” I explain as we walk on. “But I just always grew up sort of feeling like… an inconvenience. When Jude came along, I know neither one of my parents was happy about it. But I was. It was nice to have someone else in the house besides just the three of us. Someone to love.” I smile at the memory of my little brother as a tiny baby. “I was sort of like Jude’s mom, because Mama didn’t really have the time or the desire to take care of him. She was happy enough to let me do it. And I loved Jude. And he loved me back. He was a sweet, perfect baby,” I say softly. “And just the sunniest little kid.
“The thing was, though, as I got older, and became a teenager, my parents — especially my father — got a lot more strict with me. To the point that it was almost like being in prison. They had never really assimilated very well, and they both had these crazy fears that I was going to meet a boy, get pregnant, and then they’d be stuck with another baby around the house.” Unpleasant memories start to flash in my mind, and I grimace as I try to push them away. “It got to the point where they were yelling at me all the time. It felt like it never stopped, from morning to night. By the time I was seventeen, it had gotten so bad that I felt like it was seriously affecting poor Jude. He was starting to cry a lot, and act out. He just wasn’t the cheerful little boy he’d always been.” I risk a look at Angel, who’s staring down at the ground as we walk, jaw pulsing. “I started to think I needed to just leave. I hated to leave my brother, but I knew I couldn’t take care of both of us. My parents, had always seemed to favor Jude over me — not a lot, but they were definitely more indulgent with him. I figured he’d be fine with them, and I told myself he’d be better off without having to hear the constant yelling in the house.”
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