by Jamie Pope
“What’s the matter?”
“Just work stuff. It’s been crazy these past few weeks.” As soon as the words came out of her mouth she saw Jeannie Earl walk through the door with a paper in her hand and a panicked look on her face. “I’ve got to go, Arden. I’ve got an emergency here.”
“Call me later.”
“I will.” She hung up and stood up to meet Soren’s foster mother as she reached her desk. “What happened? Is Soren okay?”
“No.” She shook her head. “I’m mean yes. I sent my husband to go get her from school.”
“Why? What happened?”
“This.” She shoved a manila envelope at Sunny. “It came in the mail. I don’t know how she knows where we live. How did she find us?”
“Who?” Sunny asked as she opened the envelope. The first thing she saw was cash, two stacks of neatly wrapped hundred dollar bills. Sunny looked back up at Jeannie, her mind spinning, but no clear thoughts emerging.
“There’s a letter,” Jeannie whispered. Her eyes filled with tears
Sunny looked back into the envelope and there was a letter on folded notebook paper. She felt sick to her stomach then and almost too afraid to open it, but she did and she looked at the soft curves of the handwriting, her eyes too blurry to see the words clearly at first.
Dear Soren,
It’s been more than a year since Mama has seen you. I know you must be angry with me for leaving you the way I did, but I had to. I was getting bad again, and if I let myself slip again I would no longer be the mama you love. I couldn’t take it if you didn’t love me anymore. I didn’t want to make the same mistakes with you as I did with your older sister. I loved her too. I loved her so incredibly much, but I couldn’t keep her from getting hurt. I made a promise to myself that I was going to be a better person, and I am. I started all over again, my baby, you don’t know how hard that is to do. I feel like I am being reborn, but this time I am smarter. This time I can’t fail. I lost your sister forever, and that pains me every minute of every day. I won’t lose you, Soren. I will come back for you. I promise you that. Pray for Mama, baby. I will see you soon.
~Mama
“Sit down, Jeannie,” Sunny told her as she sank into her own chair.
Jeannie obeyed her, but she reached across Sunny’s desk and squeezed her hand. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
Maybe she had, but the letter had taken her back. She had been a little older than Soren when her mother had sent her a very similar letter. She remembered the excitement she felt when she had first received it. Her mother was alive. But then devastation has set in. Her mother had known where she was but she never once tried to see her, tried to get her back.
She shook thoughts of her own life out of her head and focused on Jeannie before her. “I’m just shocked.”
“We are too. This came to our house. How did she know how to find us? We’re not even listed in the phone book.”
How had Sunny’s mother found her?
She once again forced her mind off of herself and put her attention back on the terrified woman who sat before her. “She can’t take Soren away. She abandoned her, thus terminating her parental rights. Soren was so traumatized she didn’t speak for nearly a year. There’s no way she’s getting her back.”
“Look at all the money she’s sent. There was a note for me in there too!”
Sunny looked in the envelope again and this time on pink stationery there was a note in that same softly curved handwriting.
Mrs. Earl,
Thank you for taking care of my baby. I know this isn’t enough to repay for all you have done for her, but it’s a start. Please use some of it to buy Soren something special.
∼ G
G. She signed a G. As hard as Sunny tried, she couldn’t pry the name of Soren’s mother out of her. But Sunny knew her own mother’s name. It was Grace. She used to sign her name with G sometimes. It must be another coincidence. But it was a hell of a one.
Sunny looked back up at Jeannie, not sure what to say. “How much is there?”
“It’s two thousand dollars. Soren told me they were homeless. Where did she get that kind of money from? Who the hell is she involved with?”
“I don’t know.” Sunny didn’t want to say it to Jeannie, but it was like the woman was attempting to pay child support.
“What if she kidnaps her?”
“She wouldn’t do that,” Sunny said so firmly she believed herself. “If she wanted to kidnap her she would have taken her. She wouldn’t give you a clue it was coming.”
“What am I supposed to do with this money? Should I go to the police?”
“I’m not sure what you would tell them. Or if they could do anything about it. Does Soren know?”
“No. It came today while she was at school. Should I tell her?”
Sunny shook her head. She remembered how the letter she got from her mother had sent her reeling. “Not yet.” She closed her eyes. “Let me think about what we should do. It took a long time for Soren to trust. She used to hide her food because she wasn’t sure when she was going to be able to eat again. She used to hide under her bed at night. I don’t want her going backward.”
“No.” Jeannie shook her head. “She hugs me now. Unprompted. She smiles freely. She’s not afraid to ask for things. She loves us and we adore her. I cannot lose her. I cannot lose another child.”
Jeannie’s daughter had died of a rare form of cancer. She would have been Soren’s age. The Earls deserved Soren as much as she deserved them. They needed to stay together.
“Put the money away in an account just for Soren. Please, don’t panic right now. Soren is very perceptive and we don’t want to scare her. Just go home and be with her. Take her on a little trip. Get out of the city. Let me worry about this.” She handed back the envelope with the cash, but held onto the folded notebook paper. “Can I keep this for a little while?”
“Of course.”
“Can you just let me know where it was mailed from?”
Jeannie looked at the envelope and then at Sunny. “It says Hope, South Carolina.”
Sunny’s heart beat so hard it was starting to hurt. Jeannie left her and Sunny tried to go back to work as if it were just any other day, but she couldn’t concentrate. She felt sick to her stomach.
It’s a coincidence. It’s a coincidence. This can’t be happening.
Maxine noticed that there was something wrong with her. Her entire office noticed there was something wrong with her and there was, but she couldn’t give voice to it. Maxine thought she was sick and when she suggested she go home, Sunny left without a fight. For the first time she had been eager to get out of there and return to her tiny apartment.
She rushed home and went straight to her jewelry box, the place where she kept the few things she had from her mother. Her crystal barrette, her jade Buddha statue, and the two letters she had sent Sunny out of the blue, five years apart.
They were still in their original envelopes. Neither of them had return addresses but one was postmarked from Maryland and the second was postmarked from Hope, South Carolina.
Sunny took the letter she received on her eighteenth birthday out of the envelope even though she had read it so many times, she had memorized it.
To My Sunshine,
I can only get up enough strength to write to you every five years or so. But please do not think it’s because I don’t think about you. I think about you every single day. I think about the woman you’ve turned into. How beautiful you must be. I wish I could have been there to see you grow, but we both know I was too sick to take care of you, to be your mother. I know you were starting to hate me. I don’t blame you. I couldn’t protect you. I couldn’t give you a fraction of what you needed. I can’t tell you what happened to me after I left. I broke. I went back south. I pulled myself together. I had a job and an apartment without marker drawings on the wall. I met a nice man. I was normal for a while.
I had another baby,
Sunny.
You have a sister. I know I should have told you sooner, but I thought it might make you angry with me. How could I take care of another child when I couldn’t even take care of you? I thought of her as my second chance, but every time I looked at her all I could see is your face. All I could feel was guilt for failing you. I wish I could see you, Sunny. I wish I could hug you. I know you’re in college now. I know you’re doing something that is going to end up changing the world and I just want you to know how proud of you I am. And I want you to know that I’m sorry for what I did to you and that it’s something I’ll never be able to forgive myself for no matter how hard I try. I pray that you are happy, my Sunshine. I pray for the day when I can have both of my girls with me.
~Mama
Sunny sank to the floor with the letter in her hand. Both letters were written in beautiful cursive. Both mailed from Hope, South Carolina. Both women called themselves Mama. Both women had two daughters they couldn’t take care of.
It had to be a coincidence, but what if it wasn’t? What if the little girl Sunny had grown so attached to was her sister? The math worked. Soren was eleven. Sunny had been eighteen when she got the letter. It would have been right around the time Mama had given birth.
It had been over ten years since Sunny had heard from her mother. Part of her thought she was dead, but what if she were alive now?
This nagging thought wouldn’t go away. She could try to push it down. She could hand this new development in Soren’s case off to her supervisor or the police or anyone who knew more than Sunny. It was probably the right thing to do but she couldn’t bring herself to do it.
She needed to know. It was time she found her mama.
Chapter 3
Julian had waited outside for his mother to pick him up from school. She was late. He looked down at the digital watch he had just gotten for his birthday. It was almost four. She was never this late. Galen was at the babysitter’s. She was smaller than him. She was probably worried. He wasn’t worried. Not really. His stomach just felt weird. Mom had been . . . different lately. She stayed in her room a lot. And when she was out with them her mind seemed to be far away, so even when she was with them she seemed gone.
Maybe she was still sleeping. She did that a lot lately. She seemed like she slept more than she stayed awake and Julian didn’t understand how anyone could be so tired. He had asked his father about it once, and his father said she might be sick. But she didn’t look sick to Julian. She just seemed like she didn’t care anymore.
He started walking away from school. Almost all the teachers had gone for the day. A few of them asked him if he was okay. He told them he was, but as he got farther and farther away from the school he wasn’t so sure. She had never been this late. She had always called if she was going to be. She had always sent his father if she couldn’t make it.
They didn’t live far from the school. Less than a mile. He was ten now. He went to the store by himself sometimes to buy candy. He could probably walk home alone every day now. He would stop to get Galen from the babysitter first. He wasn’t sure why she needed a babysitter when Mom didn’t work. Galen went to preschool in the mornings. Mom said she needed some more time to herself. That had caused an argument. His father had pulled her into their bedroom so he and Galen wouldn’t hear and maybe she was too focused on the TV to notice, but Julian had heard.
“They’re your children too! You need to spend time with them.”
“I didn’t sign up for this life.”
“So what? You think my life has gone according to plan? Nobody forced this on you. You made the choice ten years ago. You are a mother. You need to act like one.”
He remembered hearing something smash against the wall and Mom running out. She didn’t come back that night. Dad was the one who picked him up from school the next day.
He tried not to think about it as he got to the babysitter’s’s house. It made his stomach hurt more and more.
He knocked on the door and it flew open immediately. Mrs. Standish was standing there looking very angry for a moment, but then she saw it was him.
“Julian, where is your mother? I told her I had a doctor’s appointment today. I can’t miss it.”
“I’m here to get Galen. We’re walking home.”
Mrs. Standish frowned. “Why? Where is your mother?”
“Dad is going to meet us at the house.” He didn’t know why he had lied. He didn’t know why he couldn’t tell her that he didn’t know where his mother was. But he couldn’t bring himself to. He hadn’t been afraid of her being hurt. He was afraid of her hurting them.
“Jules!” Galen came running up to the door with her backpack on, her pink sneakers untied. “Where’s Mommy?” She looked up at him with big eyes and he knew she was worried too.
“I’m going to walk you home today.” He got down on his knees and tied his sister’s shoes and then took her tiny hand in his. “Come on, Galen. We’ll see Mommy soon.”
Only they didn’t. The next time they saw her was a year later when she had asked his father for a divorce.
* * *
He walked into the building that contained his law offices after a lunch meeting with one of his best clients, a reality television star that had somehow turned her limited talents into a multimillion-dollar empire. Maybe he wasn’t in the best head space since Regina had turned down his proposal because he could barely feign interest in his client’s story today. She had been accused of ripping off an indie designer’s work and was now being sued. For over an hour Julian had to listen to her explain how she came up with the design, but in the end even he thought she was guilty. Sometimes it was hard for him to care about the cases he was presented with. His father was a police officer, turned civil rights attorney, turned magistrate. He had made an eighth of what Julian had made, but he had never lost his passion for the work. Julian wondered what had happened to his passion.
He had been with the firm for many years now, and when he used to walk into the swanky lobby of the building he had been awed by it. Historic cases had been won here. Huge settlements had been negotiated and wars either started or prevented here. This place is where the wealthy went when they had trouble. It was one of the top firms in the country. He had felt such immense pride being there. No one thought the ex-football player would land in the top firm in the city.
He proved he could make it there and that should have been enough, but seven years in, he was still proving that he belonged there. It was starting to grate on him.
“Good afternoon, Mr. King,” Brenda, his longtime assistant greeted him. She was in her late fifties and was close to retirement. He had never begged. He considered it beneath him, but he had begged her to stay on as his assistant. She had taken better care of him than his own mother.
“Hello, Brenda. I think I must have told you a million times not to call me Mr. King.”
“I, for the millionth time have told you that you are my boss and that’s what I am supposed to call you.”
“If I fire you . . . would you call me by my first name?”
“If I whoop your behind . . . would you stop being so cheeky?”
“Maybe,” he grinned. “But you like seeing my cheeks.”
“Mr. King!” She blushed deeply. “I’m old enough to be your grandmother.”
“You’re not too old for me, Brenda.” He winked.
“Oh hush. Your one o’clock is waiting in your office.”
“Give me the rundown. Who is it? An athlete with a pending assault charge? An heiress with a drug conviction hanging over her head?”
“You’ll see,” was all that Brenda said.
“I’m not liking the way you’re saying that. If it’s a dog custody battle, send them away right now. I refuse to use my years of legal experience arguing for a Maltese again.”
“No, I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised.”
“Is it something big like a murder case? I haven’t defended someone accused of murder before
. It would be a huge change of pace.”
“I’ll never understand you lawyers. Murder cases excite you?”
“I wouldn’t put it like that. But a high-profile case that could drag out for years is great for the firm because it puts us in the spotlight. And anything that I handle that is good for the firm is good for me. It will bring me that much closer to partner.”
“I doubt the young lady in your office has been accused of murder. Shoplifting lip gloss from a store, maybe, but probably not murder.”
“Famous?”
“Not that I could tell.”
He nodded, thinking he was about to walk in and meet another heiress who couldn’t keep her privileged self out of trouble. He was tempted to make up an excuse to send her away because after his last meeting he didn’t think he could stomach someone who didn’t know what it was like to put in the work.
But when he walked into his office he found someone completely unexpected. There was a pretty girl there. Maybe girl wasn’t the right word for her. A lot of women didn’t like to be called girls because they thought it diminished them. Brenda had called her a young lady. But that didn’t seem like the right term for her either. The woman in his office was lovely. Lovely wasn’t a word in Julian’s vocabulary either and he was having a hard time today coming up with words. His mind felt like it was stuck in mud. But the woman before him was the kind of pretty he didn’t often see in New York City.
There was no hardness to her. No jaded edge. The woman stood before him in a simple sundress, a prim cardigan wrapped around her shoulders and a pair of baby pink ballet flat shoes. She had a mass of thick curls that she had attempted to tame in a low bun.
She didn’t belong in his office. Every bone in his body knew he was going to have to turn her away even before she stated her case.
“Hi, I’m Sunshine Gibson, but everybody calls me Sunny.”
Her name fit her.
