by Lisa Suzanne
Despite all that, though, his lips were connected to hers.
Huge red flags raised all around me. I felt like I already trusted him, but this seemed like a breach of that trust.
Whether she’d initiated it or he had, I’d never know for sure. I told myself she did. I told myself he liked me. I told myself it didn’t matter. I told myself we weren’t exclusive—yet—and I had no territorial rights over him.
But I kind of wanted territorial rights over him.
Whatever the case, it still hurt like a punch to the gut.
We’d only been on one date, but I really liked him. I didn’t want his lips on other girls’ lips. I wanted his lips on my lips.
I stood there watching for a moment.
The kiss didn’t seem to be super intense. I didn’t see any tongue from my position, but it did last a little longer than I liked.
He gently untangled himself from her, and then he spoke to her quietly. I didn’t hear what he said, but she nodded, and then she left. She walked past me, and Dax’s eyes found mine across the alley.
I stood too far away to read his thoughts, but I thought I saw a brief discomfort pass across his face.
And then he smiled and waved as if nothing happened. He started walking toward me. “What did you think of the show?”
I was sort of at a loss for words. The show had been amazing. Incredible. Sexy and hot.
But what I’d just seen out behind the bar…that was something totally different.
“The show was…good.” We met in the middle. He stepped close to me, into my orbit.
He grinned that panty-melting grin of his, and I almost forgot his lips had been on another woman’s only moments earlier. When he stood this close to me, I had a hard time thinking clearly.
“Good?” he asked with a laugh.
I nodded, and then I realized three or four beers lowered my inhibitions enough to ask what I wanted to ask. “Who was that?”
“Who was who?”
So he wanted to play that game. He was really going to act like I hadn’t caught him kissing someone else when he’d invited me out after his show.
He reached out for me. I pushed him away, and his smile faded.
“The girl who you were kissing.”
He shot me a look of frustration. “Brooke. She’s a fan. That’s it.”
“Have you slept with her?”
He shot me a look. “Why would it matter?”
“Because you invited me out after the show, but you were back here kissing her.” Dammit. I had really hoped to play this one cool, but instead all of my insecurities poured out of me.
“Yes, I slept with her. Once. Because that’s what I do, Piper. I fuck girls once, and never again. They come back for more, but I don’t want more.”
I stared at him in horror. He really was everything I didn’t think he was.
I started to walk away from him because suddenly I’d had enough. Enough of Dax. Enough of rock stars. And certainly enough of this project and the stupid dates I needed to go on.
Hot tears burned my eyes.
God, I’d been so stupid. I’d allowed Dax to get way too far under my skin in our one night together.
He caught up with me and grabbed my elbow. I whirled around on him. I could barely see him through my tears.
“It’s who I have to be in public. It’s what people expect, and I can’t just change that overnight. But it’s not who I am. Not really.” His voice pleaded with me, but I refused to listen to it.
He moved in closer to me just as my first tear spilled over, and then he swung his guitar around so it rested on his back. He pulled me into his arms, and I stood there like an idiot crying.
I wasn’t sure if we were at the level yet where I had the right to feel hurt, but that wasn’t why I started crying. I started crying because I felt stupid for being upset over a kiss that had meant nothing to him.
His arms felt so good around me, and part of me was crying because the two of us would never work. I’d never be okay with him kissing other girls if we were in a relationship, fans or not. And he’d just admitted to me it was part of his public persona.
He pressed a soft kiss to the top of my head, and when he spoke, his voice whispered low just for me. “Last night, the guy who stopped even though every part of his body screamed at him to keep going. That’s the real me. The guy who held you in his arms all night, perfectly content because you felt so good. That’s the real me. The guy who drove you to your test and waited for you afterward with coffee. That’s the real me. I don’t show that side to anyone, but somehow you got to see it.”
His words managed to slow my tears.
It was everything I needed to hear from him, but I wasn’t sure if it was enough.
I’d never developed the type of feelings I had for him so quickly before, and I was terrified about what that sort of passion could do to me.
“Talk to me, sweets.”
I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what he wanted to hear, and I wasn’t sure if he was going to like what was going through my head.
“Say something.”
I pulled back and looked up at him. “I don’t think I can do this.”
Pain streaked across his gorgeous face, but he masked it quickly. “Can’t do what?”
I motioned between the two of us. “We’ve been on one date, Dax. I have no right to be jealous. You have every right to be back here kissing whoever you want.”
“Then why are you back here crying about it?”
“I feel stupid that it hurt seeing you with someone else.”
“For the record, I wasn’t with someone else. It was a friendly kiss. Nothing more.” He leaned his forehead down to mine. “Don’t you feel the heat when I kiss you? Don’t you feel how hard you make me?” He pressed a gentle kiss to my lips. “Don’t you feel the same things I’m feeling?” He kissed me gently again between sentences. “Don’t you feel like you never want it to stop because it’s different and new and just…just really fucking good?”
And this time when he kissed me, his mouth opened to mine. His tongue, that slow and sensual and perfect tongue, punished mine. His lips bruised mine. His kiss wrecked every part of me.
And just like that, I was putty in his hands again. I was weak. I was human. My humanity had no chance to fight against his supernatural good looks or his sublime kisses.
He pulled back suddenly, breathless. At least I still had the same effect on him that he had on me. “Let me take you out for pancakes.”
“Pancakes?”
Where the hell did that come from?
“Pancakes. Our new word for when we need to slow things the fuck down before I throw you up against the hood of my car and fuck you in the middle of this parking lot.”
Two fucks in one sentence? He seemed serious.
“I don’t know, Dax. I think maybe I need a night away.”
“You can’t leave me hanging two nights in a row.”
“Last night was your fault. I would’ve given it up.”
“Jesus, Piper.” He shifted and adjusted himself.
“Maybe you just need pancakes for one tonight.”
He shook his head and muttered something under his breath.
“What?” I asked innocently.
“Fucking women,” he repeated, louder this time for me.
I giggled. “When’s your next night off?”
“Monday.” His long fingers ran through his hair.
I watched as it fell back into place before I spoke again. “Are you free Monday night?”
He nodded. “Do you have any tests on Tuesday morning?”
I pretended to think for a second, and then I shook my head as I smiled. “I don’t have class until one o’clock on Tuesdays.”
“I don’t appreciate early wake-up calls. I’d only do that for you.”
“Let’s go for pancakes Monday night and see where things end up.”
He sighed. “Can I at least kiss you aga
in?”
“Please.”
And kiss me he did.
14
I returned to my friends. The seat next to Scott was open, so I slid in the booth and chugged down half my beer. I needed it after the encounter with Dax. “Can we go?”
“Everything okay?” Austin asked. He looked alarmed. He actually sort of looked like he wanted to go kick Dax in the junk.
I nodded.
“Were you crying?” Shannon asked.
I shrugged and felt Scott’s eyes on me for the first time since I’d returned to the table. I glanced over at him. His eyes looked sad. Confused.
“Everything’s okay. Just a misunderstanding.”
“You’re not going home with Dax?” Austin asked.
I shook my head. “I told him I just wanted a night away.” I saw Scott blow out a breath next to me. “It’s just, like, intense. It’s too much too fast. Besides, I’ve got other guys I need to date. I can’t be jumping into something crazy serious after one date.”
I forced a smile I certainly didn’t feel, and we all finished our drinks. Conversation moved away from my back alley encounter with Dax, thankfully, and toward Shannon’s story about the biker bar. It was still technically about me, but at least the pressure was off. I didn’t have to explain what had happened, and that felt good.
We finished up our drinks and piled into Scott’s car. I noticed Dax’s car was missing from the parking lot, and I wondered where he’d gone. Had he gone home—alone? Was he thinking about me?
Was I going to drive myself crazy for the next three days?
Probably.
Austin had requested a drop off at a friend’s house first. Scott dropped Shannon off at her apartment next. And then it was just the two of us.
Usually he dropped me off first because my apartment came first, but tonight he hadn’t. I didn’t really question why, but when he parked the car outside of my building rather than just pulling up out front, I had a feeling he wanted to talk.
“Can I walk you in?” he asked tentatively.
I smiled warmly, because if nothing else, we were still friends. Good friends. Best friends.
And I wanted things to get back to normal. Maybe a nice chat would fix everything.
“I’d love that.”
We walked together up to my door. It felt intimate, like I should’ve grabbed his hand or something, but then I thought about the weird undercurrent between us when we’d high-fived earlier. Suddenly the idea of skin-to-skin contact with Scott seemed like a terrible idea.
Inviting him into my apartment seemed like a bad idea, too, but I did it anyway.
He sat on my couch. “Can I get you anything?” I asked.
He shook his head. I pulled a bottle of water out of my refrigerator and opted to sit in my comfy reading chair instead of next to him on the couch. Any other day I might’ve taken the seat next to him, but not when things were so off between us.
“Thanks again for my study guide,” I said, breaking the silence between us.
He chuckled. “You’re welcome. Good thing you left it with me.”
I nodded. “You saved my ass today. More than you know.” I looked at him meaningfully. He probably wasn’t aware the only reason I’d gotten out of bed was because my phone had been buzzing incessantly because of his phone call and text. If he hadn’t called me, I would’ve overslept, missed the test, and wound up with a zero for thirty percent of my Stats grade.
“Glad I could help.”
He was quiet and awkward. I felt like he wanted to talk, but he kept relatively silent.
I kept quiet, too. I didn’t really have much more to say.
“Are you all done with your research now?” I asked, trying anything to make conversation.
He nodded. “Basically. I’m working through ten case studies.”
“Any patterns so far?”
He nodded. “Actually, I found the kids with homosexual parents to be less likely to conform to social gender roles.”
“That’s interesting.”
He nodded. “There’s more, but I’m still working through the analysis.”
“What’s been bothering you, Scotty?” I asked.
He shrugged. “Nothing.” His eyes wouldn’t meet mine again.
“Don’t give me that shit. Something’s been up with you.”
“Just got a lot on my mind.” He stared down at his hands.
“You know I’m here for you, right?”
He glanced over at me. “Yeah, I know.” His voice was soft. “Thanks.”
“Of course.” I stood up from my chair because it felt like we were too far away.
I sat next to him on the couch, and I leaned awkwardly toward him, resting my head on his shoulder. He lifted his arm to put it around me, and I settled into his side.
This was nice.
There weren’t butterflies in my stomach at all.
That was just from the water I was drinking. It was really, really cold. Extra cold. It was causing this weird flutter in my belly and up into my chest. I took another sip, but instead of the weird flutter going down, it just kept moving up.
I ignored it. It was more ridiculous than the way I’d reacted behind the bar with Dax.
This was Scott. My friend. My best friend.
He sighed next to me, and I breathed in his scent. It wasn’t the heavenly scent of Dax, but it was warm. It reminded me of home. It smelled like the forest after a fresh rain.
“Good job on your test today,” he said softly. “I’m proud of you.”
“Good job prepping me for it. You’ve got a permanent position as my Stats tutor.”
He chuckled, and he turned briefly toward me. I thought for a second he was going to press a kiss to my temple, but he didn’t.
Of course he didn’t.
And I shouldn’t really have felt disappointment that he didn’t.
What the fuck was the shudder that raced through my torso?
I was all kinds of confused.
It was Dax. It was him kissing that girl. It was the beer. The water. The PMS.
I had about a million excuses, but I knew none of them were right.
As if from out of nowhere, all of the sudden I had a hardcore crush on Scott. It wasn’t a little one. This was big. Scary.
And so, so wrong.
“I should go,” he said.
I walked him to the door, and we said our goodbyes.
And that was it. I leaned back against my door for a minute after I shut it behind him, wondering where these sudden feelings were coming from for the man who’d always been nothing more than a great friend.
15
“You go first,” I nudged Shannon in the ribs.
“No, you go.”
I rolled my eyes. This was her bright idea, but it was for my project. We’d never come to an agreement, so I pulled open the heavy wooden door and went first.
My eyes took a few seconds to adjust to the darkness. A cloud of smoke fogged the air over the six pool tables. Those old Tiffany-style lamps hung over them, shining a light on the smoke and the table. One side of the place housed a long bar. No one stood behind it because they were all at the pool tables. Another side of the bar had pub tables and a dance floor. Currently there were four motorcycles on display on the dance floor, so I doubted anyone ever actually used it for dancing.
A quick count told me eight men were in the main part of the bar. There were hallways leading out of the main bar. Clearly there were lots of additional rooms based on the size of the building, but I doubted I’d ever see what was behind any of them.
All eight heads swung in our direction the moment we walked through the doors.
“Go get Rusty,” one of the older guys said to one of the younger guys. The younger one followed orders, disappearing down one of the hallways.
They all wore jeans, heavy work boots, black t-shirts, and the same vest. The vest had the same design embroidered a the back, but the road names splashed across the shoul
der blade area individualized each one. The ones I could read from where I stood were Spider, Chunk, Repo, and Stitch.
“Can we help you ladies?” An older man looked up from his pool shot. He looked like he’d lived a rough life on the road, and his voice sounded like he’d smoked about a hundred packs of cigarettes a week for the past fifty years.
“Uh…” I looked over at Shannon for help, but she was busy eye-fucking one of the bikers. He was actually pretty hot. Tattoos lined his arms. His hair was longer than what I normally went for, but he looked like he hid a pretty hard body under that vest.
“We were just, um, in the neighborhood and thought we’d stop in for a drink.”
“You were in the neighborhood?” he asked with a chuckle.
Okay, so it was a stupid excuse. The biker bar we’d found was basically in the middle of nowhere. Certainly not in what I’d ever call a neighborhood.
“We’re heading up to LA,” Shannon clarified. Thank God she came through with the lie.
The younger one returned and a really attractive man appeared from one of the hallways. He actually looked like he was related to the one Shannon was eye-fucking, but he was even hotter. His eyes were a cool gray, and his nearly black hair made his eyes look even lighter.
I assumed this was Rusty.
“What can I do for you?” His voice was hard and deep. He rested his hands on the edge of one of the pool tables as his eyes blazed into mine. He leaned down on his hands with straight arms that were healthy and strong and full of big veins. He was the definition of masculinity. His body was well-kept, trained, buff. Big.
Something in his hard eyes held a gentleness, though. Something behind them made me want to throw myself into his arms just to feel safe and protected. I wanted him to cuddle me, but he didn’t look like the cuddling type.
He looked like a man who did everything to the extreme. And I couldn’t even begin to imagine what he was like beneath the sheets.
Well, here was my motorcycle man.
This was my big chance.
“Can I just get a vodka and soda?” I asked.
“We don’t really run that type of bar, darlin’. Keep heading north, and you’ll hit a few bars along the way to LA. Thanks for stopping in.”
