by Lisa Suzanne
It wasn’t exactly true. I left out the part about having recently developed some pretty strong feelings for him. Dax didn’t need to know about my unrequited crush.
He sighed heavily.
“I’ve been thinking…” he said at the same time I started talking. “Dax, I’m so…”
“You go,” he prompted.
I nodded. “I’m so sorry. And I swear, I just called Scott over because I was so upset you’d walked out on me. I was a mess, actually.” I spoke tentatively, like telling him my secret about being upset about his having left me was hard to admit.
“Distraught?” He used Scott’s word, and I nodded. “I drove around for a while thinking about you. About us. About what we’re doing. When it comes down to it, I want to be with you. Maybe it makes me a fool, or maybe it makes me the smartest man on Earth. I don’t know.”
“I vote smart.”
He half-smiled, and my heart warmed up a little.
“I’m voting for fool, but what difference does it make? What’s done is done. Let’s just start over.”
“Over-over? From scratch?”
He shook his head. “Over from before our conversation.”
“You want to try with me?”
“I like you a lot. I think we have a lot of potential together. You ground me in a way no other woman ever has. You make me think. You make me laugh. And you make me really fucking horny.”
I laughed, and he strode from the door toward me. He wrapped his arms around my waist.
“I’m sorry I walked out,” he said, his blue eyes piercing down to mine.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t more upfront about my project.”
“Do you have to go out with this douche tomorrow?”
I chuckled. “I can cancel if you want me to. It’s the nephew of one of my professors, though, so if I fail the class, you take the brunt of it.”
“I’ll allow the date because he’s the nephew of your professor and it’s for research. But I need you to promise me something.”
I looked up at him curiously.
“You don’t touch him.” He traced a finger across my lips. “These are only for me.”
“I promise.”
“Any other dates lined up?”
I shook my head. It was true I didn’t have any other dates lined up, even if it was a bit of a fib since I still intended to hit on my stepbrother.
Oh God. What the hell was I thinking?
Research.
I was thinking about research.
It was one of the biggest trends in the romance genre. I had to give it a try, or I wouldn’t be staying true to the stereotypes I promised to explore in my project.
Even if it wasn’t an actual “date” in the biblical sense, I had to find out what the big deal was when it came to stepbrothers. I couldn’t knock it until I tried it.
“When did you take your painkillers last?”
I started at the abrupt change of subject. I thought back. “Maybe two hours or so before we left for Emerson’s.”
Dax glanced toward the clock in my kitchen, and I followed his eyes.
It had been just about six hours since I’d taken my last pills. It had been at least two hours since my last drink.
I was nearly as sober as a judge, especially after the events of the evening. But I wasn’t ready for what his lascivious look was implying.
“Do you need more?” he asked.
I breathed out a sigh of relief. I didn’t want our first time together to be make-up sex. I wanted it to be perfect. I wanted us to look toward it in anticipation. And Dax’s question to me was perfect. He was more concerned about me than taking care of his own needs.
“I’d love one more dose before morning.”
He nodded, and then he leaned down to press a soft kiss to my lips. My heart moved to racing speed once again. “I can’t wait until tomorrow night,” he said against my lips.
“Neither can I.”
22
It was strange getting ready for a date with another man while my sort-of boyfriend watched me.
When I woke earlier that morning, Dax slept soundly in the bed next to me. He’d spent the night, and all we’d done in bed was kiss. Well, and he felt me up a little.
I’d unwrapped the elastic bandage from my ankle and found the majority of the swelling had gone down. It was still purple and ugly, but at least I’d be able to get away with ditching the crutches and hopefully the pain meds.
I had headed to Statistics, where Scott basically ignored me like he’d been doing for weeks. I thought maybe things had changed the night before. He’d just been the sweet guy I’d always known when I needed him, but he was back to being the standoffish jerk he’d morphed into.
He darted out of class afterward without so much as a glance in my direction. Not even a hey-how-did-it-go-last-night kind of look.
When I got home, Dax sat on my couch without a shirt. I took a moment to stare at Dax’s chiseled abs and hard chest before I checked my messages. He really was perfect, and that body would be hovering over mine later that night. Just the thought was enough to set my heart racing once again.
Hayden had arrived in town earlier than expected, so we set up a lunch date. It was perfect—except I had to leave a shirtless Dax for the professor’s nephew.
My priorities were clearly all out of whack.
Dax kissed me good before I left. He gave me something to think about, a reminder of my promise to him the night before. He looked a little disheartened I was actually leaving, but he’d come to understand my date was purely research. I refrained from calling it a date in front of him, opting instead to call it a meeting.
Hayden and I were meeting at a little diner close to campus. He told me he’d be wearing an orange Oklahoma State baseball t-shirt and I wouldn’t be able to miss him.
And he was right.
He’d gotten there first, and he sat in a booth near the door. I spotted him immediately, and I never in a million years would’ve guessed he was in any way related to the very nice but rather nerdy and pretentious Dr. Prestbury.
Even sitting, I could tell he was tall. He towered over the table. His orange t-shirt stretched across his strapping chest, revealing a lean and athletic torso underneath. His arms were solid muscle. And his face…his face was beautiful. He had short, light brown hair and matching eyes that showed a kindness behind them. He was clean-shaven but had this rugged look about him.
If it was another time and another place, I could have seen myself with him. I’d actually really hit the jackpot with this project when it came to the attractiveness of my leading men.
“Hayden?” I asked, suddenly nervous as I approached the table. He smiled, and somehow his face became even more beautiful. His smile brightened up the entire room.
“Piper?”
I smiled back and slid into the booth across from him.
“Nice to meet you,” I said, sticking my hand across the table to shake his.
“Wow, Uncle Harold hadn’t lied.”
“About what?”
“He said you were a pretty girl. I’d say he underestimated you.”
I flushed, and a waitress came over to take our drink orders. I mentally scored him high in the physical attraction category as I watched him order a water.
“Coffee, please.” I smiled up at the waitress, and I saw a stab of envy pass through her eyes at my date.
“So your project?” he prompted after she left.
“Oh, right. Basically I’m researching different types of leading men in novels. The athlete tends to be a popular choice.”
“So what’s the project?”
I sighed. I’d already messed up a good portion of my research, and I was nearing the end anyway. “It’s a social experiment. I’m the constant and the men I meet are the variables.”
“Like me?”
I nodded. “Why don’t you just tell me about yourself, what you do as an athlete at Oklahoma, things like that.”
&nb
sp; “Baseball is life.” He sounded like a Neanderthal. “Do you remember those t-shirts that were all the rage in middle school that said things like that?”
I chuckled and nodded as I thought about Dax’s penchant for silly t-shirts. Just one of the many things I adored about him.
“It really applies. My entire life is taken up with baseball. I love it, truly, but it leaves very little time for anything else.” He played with the corner of his napkin on the table.
“What position do you play?”
He looked up and his eyes met mine. “Third.”
“But isn’t baseball a spring sport?”
He nodded. “Our games are in the spring, but we train year-round. We play fall ball, so we scrimmage each other or teams nearby. We have practice every day in addition to daily workouts plus classes and study sessions.”
“Sounds intense. How did you get out of it for this weekend?”
“We have a fall ball tournament Thanksgiving weekend, so coach gave us this weekend off. If not for that, I wouldn’t be here.”
“Lucky.”
The waitress dropped off our drinks. “Ready to order?”
I shook my head. I hadn’t even cracked open the menu yet.
She left, and I grabbed the menu to peruse for a minute.
“Lucky I get to sit here with you at lunch. This is my first real date in two years.”
I glanced up from my menu, surprised at that. I felt a little guilty I’d been calling it a meeting all morning.
He was clearly dedicated to his sport, which was admirable. He was so dedicated, in fact, that he’d given up dating, but I supposed that didn’t necessarily mean he’d given up women. A man who looked like that could have his pick, and I imagined he did. He just didn’t have the time or the inclination to form a sustained relationship.
I put that on the Non-Negotiable list of my criteria. If I was in a serious relationship with someone, I needed time to spend with him. And Hayden’s schedule obviously didn’t allow for that.
We both studied the menus in awkward silence for a few minutes, and then the waitress came back and we ordered. I had a pressing urge to order pancakes, and he went with some veggie and grilled chicken wrap on a whole wheat tortilla with a side of fruit.
So clearly he monitored his health while I ate whatever tasted good. Or whatever reminded me of Dax.
We chatted about college and sports for a while, the momentary awkwardness while we’d studied our menus long gone. Hayden was easy to talk to. It was actually pretty surprising he wasn’t in a relationship. He seemed like a nice guy, he was easy on the eyes, and he was committed. The problem was, much like the CEO, he wasn’t committed to making a relationship work. He put other things before love, and I didn’t think I could be with someone who viewed our relationship as a second or third priority.
That was one of the things I liked so much about Dax. Because despite the fact that he had a very busy schedule, he still made time for me. He took time out of his day to ensure I knew he was thinking about me. He bought me Twizzlers and Snickers bars because he didn’t know which I would like better. He took me out for pancakes and he didn’t have sex with me because he liked me.
The more I thought over my memories of Dax while I sat on a date with Hayden, the more I knew going on this date had really been a mistake. I should’ve given up everything to make sure Dax felt as important to me as he made me feel to him.
“So what do you want to do with your Psychology degree?” Hayden asked once our lunch was served. He eyed my pancakes hungrily and then looked down at his own less than appetizing plate.
I giggled. “Want a bite?”
He shrugged with a lopsided grin, and I cut off part of my pancake to share.
“I plan on getting into marriage counseling. I did some clinical work for my undergrad degree, and I loved helping people work out their problems. I’m a firm believer in happily ever afters.”
“Romance novel junkie?”
I pointed to myself in mock horror. “Me?” He had me pegged. “Junkie implies a negative connotation. I prefer to think of myself as an enthusiast.”
“Then I’m a baseball enthusiast as well.” Our eyes met, and we both laughed.
“Good match,” I said without really thinking. His eyes warmed over. He’d clearly taken my offhand comment as an invitation for more.
I focused my gaze away from his and down on my pancakes. I’d promised Dax I’d keep my hands off of this guy, and I intended to keep that promise. Besides, Hayden attended school in Oklahoma. I’d have to take a plane just to see him. I wasn’t interested in that, especially not when the rock star had stolen a big piece of my heart.
And just as I thought that, the best friend who held the other pieces of my heart walked through the doors of the little diner where we sat.
My heart rippled in my chest as a tingle ran down my spine. He wore these perfect jeans that hugged his hips. How had I never noticed those narrow hips? He paired his jeans with a teal shirt. His hair was a little messier and his stubble a little more overgrown than normal, giving him this sexy edge so different from his normal composed appearance.
And he was laughing with a girl who I didn’t recognize. His arm hung loosely around her shoulders, much in the same way he’d tossed a casual arm around my shoulders in the past.
She was pretty. She was tall and had this long blonde hair cascading in perfect little waves down her back.
The crack I felt in my heart wasn’t because he might’ve been on a date.
What hurt so much more was the fact that he was laughing and having a great time with a girl. He’d replaced me, and apparently he’d done so quite easily. He’d moved onto a new friendship with a new girl, one who was pretty much my opposite in the looks department, and I was out.
“Hey, you okay?” Hayden’s voice pulled me from my staring contest with the couple who the hostess was now seating. They walked right past our table, but they were so engrossed in their own conversation that they didn’t see me.
I nodded. “Fine.” My voice betrayed me. It was obvious I wasn’t fine, but I didn’t want to get into it in a booth in a diner with the athlete.
Besides, what the hell would I say?
My boy best friend who I had a total crush on had replaced me with a new girl best friend?
It sounded ridiculous, but the slice through my heart hurt all the same.
I couldn’t help sneaking a glance toward Scott’s table as we continued eating our meal. Scott was studying his menu from his seat. His profile was in my line of view, but he’d have to turn pretty far to his left to notice me.
He looked more and more handsome every time I saw him, but today he was glowing. His eyes were lit with excitement and laughter—something that had been very absent from them lately. I was happy he was happy, but it still hurt all the same. I wanted him to be sitting with me, laughing with me. Happy with me.
But instead I was with a stranger pondering the confusion in my heart.
We finished our meal. I knew I’d become noticeably quiet, but I didn’t want Scott to spot me. I didn’t want to see the happiness in his eyes that he’d finally cut me out and replaced me with someone else. Especially not when I had such strong feelings for him.
Hayden and I approached the front counter, and Hayden offered to pay. I found that immensely sweet given the fact that I’d requested the date and I’d checked out halfway through it.
My eyes were glued to Scott once again. He must’ve sensed someone looking at him, because he glanced up and around for a second before his eyes landed on mine. He was far enough away that I couldn’t tell what he was thinking, but I saw the surprise register on his face.
“Let’s go,” Hayden said as he turned toward the door, and I held Scott’s eyes for another few seconds. He didn’t smile, but he didn’t look away.
And then I turned and followed my date out the door, leaving a little piece of my heart with Scott in the diner.
Hayden and I w
alked comfortably close on the sidewalk without holding hands.
“You want to tell me what happened back there?” he asked quietly.
“Nothing.” I tried to get away with it, but I was pretty sure he wouldn’t let me.
And I was right. “You looked like you saw a ghost when that guy walked in. Something changed.”
“Maybe you should be the psychologist,” I teased.
He chuckled.
“It’s just this thing,” I started, and then I paused.
“I knew you were too good to be true.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I mean of course some other guy has your heart.”
“He doesn’t have my heart.” My voice came out much more defensive than I’d meant it to.
“Then why were you so affected when he walked in?”
Why was I so affected? I wanted to know the answer to that question myself.
Deep down I knew the answer. I just hadn’t admitted it to myself.
“He’s one of my best friends, and lately he’s been cutting me out. He walked in with some girl when I’ve been his girl for the last year.”
“His girl?”
“I’m not explaining this right. We’re just friends.”
“Wait. The guy with the glasses?”
I nodded.
“Wouldn’t have guessed that one.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m pretty sure you’re more than a friend to him.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” I said.
But even as I said it, something inside of me finally clicked. Did Scott have feelings for me? Was that what all of this was about? “Scott doesn’t have feelings for me.”
“Okay,” he said, his tone sarcastic. “And that’s why when your eyes met his across the room, you both stared at each other like you were going to eat the other one alive. Have you considered adding the best friend to your list of leading men?”
We arrived at my car. I gave Hayden a hug and thanked him for a wonderful date, and then we said our goodbyes and I got into my car.
I sat at my steering wheel for a minute thinking about what Hayden had just told me.
How could I have been so blind?
