“Get the fuck out!” she hollered loudly. I didn’t say shit at first because my mama never yelled like that. She was always a calm person and could get you straight without the loudness.
“Ma, why you—”
“I told you to watch Lace for two damn hours, Qamar! Just two! And what the fuck did you do? You left him here! By the grace of God, I realized I’d forgotten my grocery list after I left the bank, so I came back, but you left him here alone!”
“So what, you said he wouldn’t need shit! And I hadn’t planned to be gone all fucking day!”
“He is a baby, fool! Your baby! I did not raise you to be this way. What the fuck is wrong with you!” my mother screamed as she began slapping my ass up, prompting me to try and block her blows.
“I had to record! I need to make some money and try to get some shows or signed to another label! I can’t sit up in the house and watch him all damn day!”
“Watch him?” My mother raised a brow. “Nigga, I am watching him! He is your son; there is no such thing as watching when the baby is yours, Qamar Hampton! And you only care to make money to live that lavish ass lifestyle! You’re not even doing it to make sure you can be a good provider and father!” She began wailing on my ass again.
“I am not a fucking father! I ain’t ask for this shit!”
“Get your shit and go.” She finally stopped hitting me and started yanking my drawers out of the dresser, making my shit spill out.
“You gon’ choose him over me? I’m yo’ fucking son!” I shot up from the bed and palmed my chest.
My mother looked up at me, and the disappointment in her eyes was like a knife to the chest. She looked at me the same way Bia, Ricky, Nadine, and every fucking body had.
“Qamar, go. And I don’t care where,” she replied, voice hoarse as hell from yelling at the top of her lungs. Tears slid down her cheeks, but she quickly wiped them as she turned her back and left the bedroom.
I grabbed up my stuff and began shoving it in a duffle bag. Once I had as much as I could take, I started out, but paused to look at my mother’s bedroom door. Walking to it, I gripped the knob and slowly turned it before peeking in. She was sitting on the edge of her bed with her back to the door.
“Mama, I apologize. I was just—”
“Ah ah, go.” She stretched her arm out and pointed in the direction where the front door was.
Closing her door back, I left out and took my ass to a motel before calling up that groupie Angelique. Maybe this shit was for the best any damn way.
Kattlyn Vega
Ever since I’d miscarried, I hadn’t been really feeling like myself. I tried to push it to the back of my mind, telling myself it wasn’t that big of a deal, but it didn’t help. Deep down inside, I was sad, and I was upset with myself for allowing this to happen to my unborn. Had I not lived such a terrible life up until now, my child would still be growing, getting ready to be here.
And it was hard trying to just go through life feeling like such a bad person. I’d done plenty of horrible things in the past, but for some reason, nothing could amount to Bull delivering that fateful punch to my stomach.
MG tried to be helpful, but honestly, he didn’t know what to do. And he didn’t feel the same about the situation; I could tell. I didn’t blame him though, but I needed someone to talk to; someone who would understand.
“Where you going at this time?” MG quizzed me as I spread lotion all over my legs. He sat next to me and began kissing my shoulder, but I moved down some. I know this sounds crazy coming from an ex-hooker, but sex was the last thing on my mind.
“I’m going to the bookstore so that I can study for my test this Thursday,” I replied, slipping my feet into my high-heeled boots.
“Kattlyn, baby, did I do something to you?”
I kept my eyes on my shoes even though I was done putting them on, because I didn’t want to look at him. MG, this house, this room, Draylah’s shop, Draylah’s old home, everything just reminded me of the baby that I’d lost, and I hated to be around it all. I still loved MG, very much, but being in his presence these days fucked with me.
“No, Micah.” I turned to him and smiled softly before pecking his lips. He was so handsome, so perfect, which was why I needed to get my emotions in order so that I wouldn’t break up what we had. But it was easier said than done.
“Good.” He watched me stand up and smooth down my jeans. “Who you studying with? You don’t ever tell me about ya classmates or nothing.”
“Oh, just my lab partner. You pretty much do everything with your lab partner, and it makes classwork and tests that much easier.”
“You know y’all could come study here, Kattlyn. You don’t have to go somewhere else when you wanna study. This ya crib too.”
Shaking my head as I picked my purse up, I said, “No, this isn’t my house, Micah. This is your house, that you once lived in with your ex-girlfriend and son.”
“So what? You my girl now, so this yo’ shit too.”
“No, because you can kick me out when you want to, and I can’t do the same. Therefore, this is not my home. And I don’t want to live in the home that you shared with Isla. As a matter of fact, I don’t want to sleep in this bedroom until it looks different.”
I was emotionally messed up, but it did give me the courage to speak my mind. Before, I didn’t give a fuck and was just happy to be laid up in a mansion next to a rich nigga. But now, I was in love and invested in this relationship, so I refused to just fall into the mold previously prepared for the last bitch. I was one of a kind, and I needed to be treated as such.
“Different, how? You want this shit to look different then make that happen. Just don’t fuck with this side.” He gestured towards his half of the large bedroom.
“Well when we get the carpet changed, I will think about it.”
He laughed and sexily licked his lips at me as he stood up to pull me closer.
“I like my carpet.”
“Well I don’t. You had that bitch’s puppy claws pouncing all around it, and I might get an infection if we don’t get it switched out.”
“Aight, do what you gotta do.” He gripped my waist and kissed me, before our tongues began to intertwine. I felt his hands glide down my backside, so I nudged him back.
“I have to go. See you tonight.”
I quickly left before he could say anything because I didn’t feel like getting into it with him. I hated to hold out, but I just wasn’t in the mood, no matter what he said or did.
After tossing my purse and backpack into the passenger seat of my Porsche, I texted Nolan to let him know that I was leaving and headed to Barnes and Noble. We were gonna meet at the one inside of The Grove, which was like an outdoor shopping center. When I got there, parking wasn’t too bad since it was the middle of the week and the evening time. Not too many people shopped at the mall mid-week because they were too damn tired from working all day long.
“I thought you’d stood me up for a second.” Nolan smiled once he saw me in the cafe portion where he was.
“How, when I texted you?” I set my stuff down in the empty chair to the side of us, and I saw his eyes cascade down my body.
“Because that’s what you pretty females always do. Y’all get a nigga’s hopes up just to ditch us.”
We laughed in unison as I grabbed my wallet from my purse. Bia had gotten me really into soy Caramel Macchiatos over ice, and I wanted one.
“Nah, I got you. I was just about to get something for myself but didn’t want to lose the table. What you want?” He stood up with a smile. I gave him one back, shaking my head, and then told him my drink order.
“Oh, get me some water too, please,” I added as he walked towards the counter before I sat down.
I got all my stuff out, setting it up, and I could feel Nolan’s eyes on me as he waited to order our drinks. When I glanced his way, he gave me a smirk, but I just pretended not to see and got to highlighting some of my notes.
“T
his shit looks good. I should have gotten that.” Nolan placed my drink in front of me.
“Yeah, instead of that Frappuccino. The whipped cream alone will kill you.” I chuckled, and he bucked his eyes.
“Nah, I’m in pretty good shape.” He lifted his shirt a little to expose his abs and they were rock solid and chiseled to perfection. They were so perfect that it looked like he used a contour stick on his abdomen.
“Whatever. So we need to go ahead and make some flashcards. I think that’s the best way for us to remember a lot of these terms.”
I didn’t realize cooking could be actual work as far as the lectures. And my professor for that class was so damn stern that before you could even finish a sentence, she would cut your ass off. Bitch, if I wanna say ‘stir,’ just let me say ‘stir.’ Why the fuck do I have to say ‘whisk?’ You see me using a damn whisk, don’t you? Too bad I couldn’t say any of that because she was a tattletale ass on everyone except Nolan.
“Aight.” Nolan nodded.
For the next couple of hours, we went over flashcards, and I was finally memorizing 90% of the terms and all the other stuff that was gonna be on the test. I wished we knew exactly what would be on it, but nope, we just had to hope we covered what would be tested.
“Okay, I need a break and something to eat.” I got up and went to buy a sandwich, and then a cupcake for Nolan’s fat ass.
It was a little after 8 p.m. by this time, and even though I wanted to go home to shower and sleep, I didn’t feel like being in that house right now.
“Are you dating that rapper from Head Honcho?” Nolan questioned as soon as I sat down and pushed his cupcake towards him.
“What? Why?”
“I just wanna know. You told me you had an ex-boyfriend, and I was wondering if it was him. And one of the dudes in class told me and showed me a picture of you on his Instagram.”
“Who showed you?” I asked, irritated as hell. People were so damn nosy sometimes.
“Crawford, but he thought he was helping me. He thought you and I had something going on, and he wanted to be sure I knew about you and old dude’s situation.” A moment of silence lingered in the air. “So tell me, is that your ex? Y’all back together?”
“Yes, we’re back together.”
“Why you ain’t tell me you were dating a rapper? And not no ‘basement studio, working nights at Walmart’ rapper, like a Billboard charting ass rapper.”
“Because I don’t really see him that way.” I shrugged. I remember Draylah used to tell me she didn’t see Ricky AK as… Ricky AK, and I didn’t get that until right now.
“I guess.” Nolan ate some of the cupcake. “It would have been nice for you to let me know you got back with him though. I had my hopes up.”
“I don’t know why, when I told you I still wanted to be with him.”
“Yeah, but I ain’t think you were serious. But it’s cool, Kattlyn. I ain’t gon’ pretend though and act like a nigga wasn’t hyped about getting to know you better and shit.” He gave me that cute smile.
“I apologize then. I didn’t mean to lead you on or anything. I admit I was flirting with you a little bit, and I shouldn’t have been, knowing I wanted to be with Micah.”
“Micah.” Nolan sat back in his chair and stared at me. “Is it because he’s famous and shit? That’s why you like him better?”
“What? No. I’ve been telling you this whole time that I was still into him, Nolan. It’s not like I said I was completely done and then went back.”
“I’m just making sure because a lot of these niggas with money ain’t shit, and money don’t last forever. I mean, look at Qamar. He ain’t shit but a broke ass cokehead now.”
“Yeah, well MG is nothing like Qamar, trust me on that one. But we need to move on from that and focus back on our work, Nolan. I’m back with MG, and it’s no point in discussing it anymore.”
“Aight, so let’s just go ahead and get back to it.”
Nolan and I continued to study for an hour or so longer, and then we left the bookstore. I could feel the shift after he found out I was back with MG, but what the hell did he want me to do? I wasn’t about to cheat, and I definitely wasn’t about to break up with my man for him. But I liked Nolan as a friend, and I couldn’t deny the fact that if he started to act coldly, it’d definitely bother me.
I still didn’t want to go home, so I got something small to eat and took it to the beach. For about an hour, I just sat in the sand and watched the midnight blue water wash up onto the shore. I would have stayed there for probably twenty-four hours straight, but I got too cold, so I eventually went home.
“Damn, I thought I was gon’ have to call the fucking police,” MG said once I came into the kitchen where he was.
“No, I just wanted to be sure I had all the information needed, stored in my brain.” I fake smiled.
“Right.” It was quiet as he stared at me from across the counter before he said, “You know we need to talk about that shit with Bull, Kattlyn.”
“Oh my gosh, Micah. I’m tired, and I really don’t want to talk about it. Plus, it’s no point.”
“No point? Kattlyn, I killed a nigga. Do you not understand the severity of that shit? I mean, what if he got three more brothers, or some cousins, or shit, I don’t fucking know. Somebody is gon’ come looking for that nigga!”
“Well what the fuck do you want me to do, Micah? I mean, damn. You want me to deal with this, deal with my miscarriage, deal with getting my Visa, complete school, get the house redone, what the fuck are you gonna do, huh?” I screamed so loud my own ears rang. “I need a fucking break! For two seconds, all that I ask is that you just be my damn man and comfort me, nothing else. Just for two… seconds, Micah, please.”
He was quiet, looking at me, before rounding the counter and draping his arms around my shoulders to pull me in for a hug. He smelled so good, and the safeness I felt in his arms was something money couldn’t buy. But I just hated that I had to tell him these things. He was so used to dealing with a grimy ass bitch who only needed him for cash, that I guess he’d forgotten how to be a boyfriend to someone who needed him emotionally.
“I love you. I’m sorry,” he said lowly, making me smile as he pressed his lips against my forehead.
Chapter Two: Virginia Carter
Today was Vigo’s funeral, and I was happy that his family had decided to have it here instead of in Connecticut where they lived. It was mainly because they didn’t want to have to ship his body because it cost too much. Whatever the reason though, I was thankful. Vigo and I might have had a tumultuous relationship, but I still wanted to pay my respects at his funeral. At one time in my life, I loved him, and I couldn’t just forget about all of that to the point where I couldn’t even attend his services.
At the moment, Vigo’s family, along with a few of his drunken ass, whack ass homies, were standing around the body, which was about to be put into the ground. The pastor was praying over Vigo, causing a tear to slip from my eye. Discreetly, I wiped it away and adjusted my shades, before everyone was free to walk off.
“Aye, Virginia,” I heard a male voice call my name before gripping my elbow gently.
Turning around, I saw Vigo’s cousin Trey standing there. I’d met Trey during the few trips to New Haven, and he was always cool. He was like the smart guy, always trying to help steer the wild ass Vigo in the right direction. He and Vigo reminded me a lot of Huey and Riley from The Boondocks respectively.
Trey was always levelheaded and trying to help his cousin see the light, and Vigo was always doing stupid shit and claiming Vigo was weak. Back then, I didn’t really appreciate Trey’s efforts because I liked that Vigo was wild and unpredictable, but as I got older, I was completely turned off by his, what I learned to be, immature behavior.
“Hey, I know you’re probably broken up about all of this,” I replied, taking my shades off.
“Yeah, but you know I saw all this shit coming. That’s why I tried to help his ass out, bu
t he wasn’t with it.” Trey shook his head.
“He liked living in the fast lane.”
“I mean, he was bad, but getting killed in jail seems like a bit much, don’t you think? The most Vigo did was get into a couple of bar fights and hit-and-runs, but deep down, he wasn’t about that life.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat as I stared up into Trey’s eyes. This whole time Vigo’s family had been here, they’d been acting like I was the one who sliced his fucking throat. As you may have guessed, I wouldn’t dare tell them I was the one who told the police where he was. Trey was always cool, but Vigo’s parents and aunt hated my guts from the first time they saw me. So if they found out what I did, I felt like shit would really hit the fan. Plus, I knew Ricky was behind Vigo’s death, and Vigo’s people didn’t want them problems with Ricky, so I was doing them a favor by keeping a few secrets.
“But you know Vigo; he probably got in with the wrong crowd or tried to jump bad with the wrong nigga.”
“Maybe so.” Trey squinted his eyes as he looked down at me. “But we won’t be leaving for another couple of weeks, so maybe you and I should have some lunch together or something.”
“Uh, I have a boyfriend, Trey—”
“Whoa, baby, relax. I’m just trying to catch up with you. Shit, your boyfriend can come too if he wants.”
We chuckled.
“I don’t think so. But I guess we can have some coffee or something like that. I don’t think he’d mind.”
“You sure? Insecure is your type.”
“Not even. Jason is nothing like your cousin, trust me on that one. I learned my lesson dealing with the childish types.”
“I hope so.”
I chatted with Trey for about a minute longer, and then I started off to my car. I passed Vigo’s parents and waved bye to them, but they just ignored me as they conversed with some distant family member that had flown out with them.
“Oh! Excuse me.” I frowned when I bumped right into Vigo’s aunt, or Trey’s mother. The bitch saw me walking, and literally stood her ass there, almost like she wanted me to bump into her.
She Got It Bad for a Heartless Gangsta 4 Page 3
