Chester’s face turned deathly pale and his eyes looked a thousand years older. His shoulders rose and fell with each deep breath. His expression made my anger vanish in a wash of shame.
And then, with a pop, he was gone. I let out a shaky breath and turned to find Rakshina staring at me with wide eyes.
“You shouldn’t have done that,” she whispered.
A quiet exhaustion settled into my stomach. I dragged myself back to the couch and sat down, resting my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands.
“I don’t know what to do,” I replied, glad I’d only had one bite of food. My stomach was rolling and I felt like I was going to be sick.
“You have to call him back,” Rakshina insisted, leaning forward to look at my face. I didn’t look up. “You’re not safe without him around. Who’s going to protect you?”
“I can protect myself,” I growled at her, the annoyance resurfacing.
“Against things you know about, but you don’t know half of anything yet.” She sounded flustered, and there was a faint blush to her cheeks.
“I have Joy,” I replied, standing up to pace the room.
I know more about being a goddess than Chester, she assured me, but I barely heard her.
Rakshina stood up, shaking her head and trying a new approach.
“But he cares about you. He’d protect you whether he was ordered to or not,” she insisted, waving her hand for emphasis.
“He only cares about doing his duty,” I snapped back, remembering how quickly he pulled away from me that morning. Chester didn’t care about me anymore than he cared about any of the other collectors, or Fate. The thought brought tears to my eyes, which only made me angry.
“Don’t be stupid,” Rakshina chastised, waving a dismissive hand.
“If he cared, why did he leave?” I snapped.
“All collectors stay balanced by collecting an almost equal number of souls. He hasn’t been called to collect any since he’s been protecting you, so he probably got an overload of requests all at once,” she said, crossing her arms and giving me a particularly nasty glare. “Otherwise he’d be in extreme pain.”
“Well, that’s that then. Nothing I can do,” I replied, turning away so she wouldn’t see the lie written across my face.
My shoulders slumped as I looked down at my feet. I needed to go home. I’d missed three classes and probably didn’t have a job to go back to anymore.
“Do you need anything else?” I asked, defeated. “You’re going to be okay if I go home?”
“I’ll be fine,” she replied, her brow furrowed. “I’m more worried about you.”
I shrugged. “I’ll put up extra protections when I get home. I’ll figure it out, whatever,” I said, waving a hand.
Realizing I had no idea how to get close to home, I looked at Rakshina, an embarrassed blush on my cheeks.
“Could you take me home? I need to learn how to use teleportation magic.”
She rolled her eyes and held out her hand. “I’ll teach you when you come back. Just stay safe until then.”
“Thanks,” I replied, taking her cold hand in mine and wondering what on earth I had just done.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Drekvic was waiting for me on the porch when I got home. His face was pinched with worry that turned to anger when he saw me parking my car in the driveway. By the time I climbed the steps, he stood blocking my path into the house. The drive home from the park had been exhausting, and I’d made a couple notes in my phone to call the nature witches and let them know how dangerous their woods had become. I was glad the phone had been in the car instead of my pocket when I’d taken off after the mirage, and equally glad that no one had stolen it—or my car—while I was gone.
“Where were you?” Drekvic asked, hands on his hips.
“I don’t want to talk about it right now,” I mumbled, squeezing past him to the front door. He didn’t take a hint, and followed me in.
“You went out running this morning and never came back. I couldn’t find you and neither could the school. They called more than once. What the hell happened?”
I dropped my keys by the door and tripped out of my shoes, making a beeline to my study. I needed something normal before I exploded. My interlace patterns were still waiting for me, and I had student papers to grade. I didn’t want to think about Chester, Rakshina, or the aggressive demi-god trailing behind me like a puppy. Especially, not that last one.
“Leave me alone,” I snapped, dropping my bag in the middle of the floor and stomping to my worktable.
Frustrated, I shoved a stack of student papers to the side, cursing myself for leaving them in the middle. The momentum pushed the top half of the stack off the table and they fluttered to the floor. I felt Joy think about saying something, but the raging inferno inside of me shushed her.
“What’s wrong?”
I turned toward Drekvic, all my irritation and hurt at Chester boiling up inside of me. I was annoyed that Drekvic wouldn’t let me relax, and I was sick of having Joy in my head all the time. I was worried about the portal in the park and the crazy ghost that attacked us. There was an insane siekewa on the loose who had attacked my friend. I couldn’t adjust the balance because Fate almost killed me when we tried. Everything was wrong and I wanted to take all of it out on the person standing next to me.
I opened my mouth to yell at him, but all that came out was a strangled sob. I turned away, wrapping my arms around my stomach to hug myself tightly. I tried to take deep breaths, but managed only short gasps. My legs were trembling, and I worried that I was going to fall. I squinted my eyes shut, refusing to cry.
Drekvic mumbled something behind me, and then I felt his arms closing around me, pulling into him as his chin found the spot over my shoulder as though it belonged there. I felt the tension ease from my chest, and I leaned back into him, accepting his comfort even though I knew I shouldn’t. If Chester came with baggage, Drekvic came with a whole caravan.
It’s nice to have someone that doesn’t pull away, Joy whispered softly, interrupting the moment. I shook my head and disentangled myself, turning to face him with uneven breaths.
I was surprised to see a softness in his gaze rather than his usual snark. He reached out and took my hands, holding them firmly.
“You’re not alone in all this,” he whispered.
“Thanks,” I said, looking down. His hazel eyes looked very green and very distracting. I wasn’t sure I was fully recovered from my fit, but I didn’t want to scream anymore.
“I don’t think you understand,” he said, stepping closer. He released my hands and ran a finger along the side of my arm, sending shivers down my spine.
I looked up at him, a familiar protest on my tongue. His eyes caught mine, and my words died on my lips. His expression was odd, almost unrecognizable without his familiar smirk.
“You don’t have to solve everything by yourself. I don’t know what happened to you today, but I’m here if you need someone to talk to.” His touch on my arm became more firm, and I took a deep breath, proud that it didn’t waiver.
I opened my mouth to tell him what happened to Rakshina, when he leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine.
It wasn’t the first time I’d kissed Drekvic, and his warm lips still felt familiar. There was no overwhelming press of power like there had been the first time, when his magic passed through me and gave me his name so I could summon him when I chose. I could sense his magic swirling around us, but it was like a comforting breeze rather than a raging storm. Our kiss was just us.
When I didn’t immediately pull away, he stepped closer, and wrapped an arm around my waist, deepening the kiss.
A desire that wasn’t my own surged within me, overwhelming my tentative curiosity. I lifted my arms to wrap around his neck before I could think about what I was doing. All thought flew from my mind as Drekvic’s lean form pressed against mine. One of his hands tangled in my hair and I pushed against him, throwing us both
off balance and into the table.
More papers scattered to the floor, followed by the loud thud of one of my notebooks. The noise jarred me awake, and I shoved Joy’s thoughts away from me. I pulled back from Drekvic, my eyes widening in surprise at what I’d just done. I could still feel Joy’s need burning in the back of my mind, and the duality of our emotions made my hands shake.
Drekvic looked confused at my sudden change, but he didn’t pull away.
“I’m not going to pretend that didn’t happen,” he said, and I let out a slightly hysterical laugh.
I said nothing, untangling myself from him and moved around the table to pick up the scattered papers now littering the floor.
Drekvic came around to help, brushing his hands against mine as we worked. I tried not to flinch, even as Joy quivered with want. I needed to get away from him and talk to her, to find out what the hell her problem was, but he didn’t seem like he was leaving.
We finished putting all the papers back and I even managed to smooth most of them out so it didn’t look like they’d crinkled on the hardwood. Drekvic took my hand, lacing our fingers together and calling my attention back to him.
“Now that I’ve distracted you from your anger, tell me what happened today,” he said, his mischievous grin sparkling in the corners of his eyes.
I laughed louder than I should have, but he was right—I hadn’t thought of Rakshina or Chester since he’d kissed me. My heart started aching anew, but I nodded and walked around the table, pulling my hand back to put space between us. I told him about my adventure with Chester, although I left out waking up next to him in bed, and the subsequent visit with Rakshina. I also left out that I’d freed Chester from his oath and felt guilty all over again.
“Where is Chester then?” Drekvic demanded. “If Lakvas is out there going crazy, he should be here with you.”
“Lakvas?” I asked, confused and avoiding his question.
“He’s Rakshina’s mate. He was one of the most powerful siekewas I created. I didn’t think he was going to lose his mind so soon, or I’d have tried to find him someone else. I thought he’d last another couple years without her.” He crossed his arms, looking around the room before walking into the hallway.
When he didn’t find what he was looking for, he returned, looking annoyed.
“Where is Chester? He shouldn’t let you out of his sight.”
“I released him from his oath,” I replied, trying to sound nonchalant but instead sounding like a petulant child.
Drekvic looked to the ceiling and sighed before setting his eyes on me and responding.
“You picked a bad time to tell him you had feelings for him. Did he reject you? You couldn’t handle the sting so you sent him away?”
“I didn’t tell him anything,” I snarled, anger brushing away the sadness. “He was interfering with my duties as the leader of the collectors. I can’t allow him to do that.”
I picked up a pencil and started practicing the interlace pattern. It felt like years, not just forty-eight hours, since I’d drawn it last. I wanted the drawing to settle my carousel of emotions, even as I lost control.
“That’s really what you’re going with?” he asked dryly.
“For someone so intent on getting me to open, up you’re really making me not want to tell you anything,” I warned flatly, and the amusement on his face quickly turned into a grin. I was glad there was a table between us as his eyes took on a seductive quality I didn’t want to deal with.
“I’m just looking out for your best interests. I don’t want you embarrassing yourself.”
I raised an eyebrow at him, and he shrugged.
“Really, though, you could not have chosen a worse time. You need his protection more than ever if Lakvas is running around.”
“Why does everyone think I can’t take care of myself?” I demanded, slapping my pencil down and glaring at him. “I stopped you, didn’t I?”
“Well, you technically had hundreds of collectors taking all of my accumulated power houses,” he replied dryly, “and I did almost get away.”
I wanted to argue that he never would have gotten away if I hadn’t had Rakshina’s help, but he wasn’t wrong about the first part, so I just sighed and picked up my pencil again.
“I’ll be fine. I’ll set up additional wards. I’ll be more careful.”
“I’m going out with you from now on,” he threw in, casually.
“You are not coming to school with me,” I replied, frowning.
“Until you get Chester back, you’re going to be with me or Rakshina at all times. You’re not going to be alone, not even for your runs in the park. It’s not that I don’t trust you to take care of yourself, but why take the risk? Okay?”
I ignored him, sulking down at my interlace.
“Ellie, don’t make me come kiss you again,” he teased, and I felt Joy’s lurch of anticipation.
I squashed it down and snarled at him.
“Fine. I’ll inform you of my whereabouts.”
Nodding, he left my office and went into the living room. I heard him turn on the television and immediately turned inward.
What the hell was that? I demanded of Joy, clenching my hands into fists and trying not to feel betrayed.
I can’t control my emotions any better than you, she snapped back. But anytime you want to make out with Drekvic again, I’m all in.
Disgusted, I threw my pencil into the recessed cup on the table. I wasn’t going to be able to get anymore work done, so I walked to the front door to reinforce my spells, praying that the rest of the week would go by without incident.
CHAPTER EIGHT
I took in a deep breath that did nothing to help my mood. It wasn’t this student’s fault that I wanted to scream in frustration at the world. She was young, with red hair and freckles, and would probably run crying if I raised my voice. It also wasn’t her fault that I’d missed my last two office hours, requiring her to schedule an actual appointment with me. Those things were all my fault, which made everything worse.
“What didn’t you understand?” I asked. She’d been talking for at least ten minutes, but I hadn’t heard a word.
“Your lecture last week was about spirals, and you said that most people didn’t use spirals for anything other than drawing bad substances from the body. Why don’t people use them to put good things in?” she asked, holding her notebook up to show me a simple spiral with notations about giving someone vitamins.
I thought for a moment, thinking of the best way to derail her line of thought. My class focused on practical uses of magic for research, and it was popular among students going into medical fields. I tried to remember where this girl was going, but came up empty. I hadn’t been focused when school started because of Jana’s death, and I hadn’t taken the time to get to know my students as well as I normally did.
“It’s been attempted, but following a spiral in the other direction can be tricky. You need total concentration and have to follow all the steps in the opposite direction. Also, you have to find the appropriate size for the spiral. What kinds of things would you want to put into someone?” I asked, wondering if I should just cut her off completely.
“Well, there are people with depression and other mental instabilities,” she said, leaning forward.
“What’s lacking from their minds that you can provide? There’s no way to bottle happiness. Even if you gave them some of yours, it would be fleeting. You should study magical ways to balance the brain’s hormones instead of trying to put something inside of them that doesn’t belong there.”
“What about people trying to get pregnant?”
“That might work, but you’d have to find a way to get a semen sample, and then worry about transporting something that has the potential to have magic of its own. Your spiral would have to be larger. Remember, just because you can do something, doesn’t mean it’s the most efficient way.”
She nodded, deflated.
“If you wa
nt to balance people with depression or mood swings, you could experiment with Libra, the Zodiac symbol for balance. Dr. Johnson has been working on that for a couple years now. Talk to him about an internship, if you’re interested,” I suggested, pulling out my business card and writing Dr. Johnson’s information on the back.
She looked up, hope returning to her face.
“Let him know I sent you, he should at least give you an interview,” I explained, handing her the card. She picked it up like it was gold and scurried from the room. I dropped my head in my hands and took another deep breath.
“The scales work,” a voice said, making me flinch and lift my head.
Drekvic stood in the doorway, looking like a wicked god in the dingy light of my office. His dark hair and clothes reminded me of our first meeting. He leaned on the open door frame, and I felt something stir in my chest as I looked at the lean line of his body.
Stop it, I warned Joy, unable to hide my scowl. She felt suddenly sheepish and withdrew from my thoughts, trying to keep as much distance as possible while she drooled over Drekvic. If I could give him to her, I would, but considering her only physical body was mine, it wasn’t happening. It didn’t help that even without her appreciation, Drekvic was alluring.
“You need to stop wearing that face. It’ll give you wrinkles,” he teased, dropping into the chair the student had just vacated.
“I have work to do,” I said, turning to my computer. I hadn’t finalized my lesson plan for the next week and I cursed myself for being so scatter-brained. I was normally a month ahead and only needed to make slight adjustments if my classes required a different approach to teaching.
“I’m just here to wait for you,” he replied, leaning his head on the desk and closing his eyes. “I won’t say a word.”
I fought the urge to smack him and tried to focus on my work. True to his word, he didn’t say anything, but Joy’s fascination was almost overwhelming. I wondered why she hadn’t been obsessed with him before. Maybe it wasn’t something she’d thought about until he kissed me, and like a girl with her first crush, she couldn’t stop thinking about it. I couldn’t help but glance at him every now and then, his breath rising and falling gently as he dozed in his chair.
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