by Eli Hai
Indeed, they came across difficult obstacles until they found themselves beneath the wedding canopy. The wedding’s troubles started months before when her family refused to come.
“I don’t even understand why we’re discussing this. No one’s going to that heretic’s wedding, no matter what,” Yehuda, head of the opposition, presented a tough stance.
“You’re right, brother,” Margalit supported him as usual.
“If the wedding takes place according to our rules, I think we should participate,” said Rueven, head of the doubters, which was the largest camp, and included Rivka’s parents.
“We’ll go, even if we’re the only ones who will,” declared Ahron and Miriam, who at that stage, were the only ones supporting unconditional participation in the wedding.
Ever since Rivka had left, the two had become much more tolerant. They started seeing the secular world in a different light. Newspapers, books, and computers were no longer considered bad words. As far as they were concerned, Rivka could celebrate her wedding any way she chose to, on the condition that the food served would be of kosher authorization that suited their faith. Ahron presented their stand before his father daily when they met at the mini-market.
“This is your daughter’s wedding, your own flesh and bone. There’s no sin in that she chose to live her life differently than ours. Millions of Jews live that way, and they’re still Jews, like you and me. Would it have been better to marry her off to an insane or blind man? It’s time to forgive her, and nothing would make her happier than seeing us at her wedding,” he reprimanded his father.
“If we participate in the wedding, many family members will follow us. And if that’s how things will happen, it’s our duty to make sure the wedding happens according to our acceptable rules so, God forbid, we won’t sin or cause sin.”
“Papa, you’re right! You’re one hundred percent right! Call her yourself and tell her we’re prepared to come en masse and ask her to consider our guests and us. Tell her that many will make the long journey in order to attend the wedding, and she has to consider that and have a wedding as customary in our community,” agreed Ahron, who, at this stage, found it important that his father give his principal agreement.
“And if she won’t agree?” his father insisted nevertheless.
“I think she will. I don’t believe she’ll pile on difficulties and prevent us from coming. During her conversations with me, she already agreed to serve food approved as kosher lemehadrin. First, you must tell her we want to come. Then we’ll see how things go from there,” Ahron urged his father.
And that was how the difficult argument between the two camps was decided. Ahron’s persuasion worked, and his parents gave in and decided to be present at their daughter’s wedding.
“I think that in this case, we have to go,” Yehuda said bitterly when he heard of his parents’ decision. However, he was forced, like the rest of the family, to accept the “verdict” and join their flight to the land of “heretics”.
“Honoring your father and mother is the most important commandment. If your parents are going, you must put their desires before your own,” was the opinion of the rabbi of the yeshiva, to whom Yehuda had gone for advice.
When one argument ended, another began. Rivka’s parents conditioned their arrival on being allowed to celebrate according to their ways and faith. To do so, they even agreed to fund all of the wedding’s expenses.
“We’ll pay for everything, as long as the wedding will go according to our community’s customs,” Rivka’s parents told her.
“I don’t know,” Rivka hesitated. “I’m not sure Yoav’s family will agree.”
“Try, daughter, try,” her mother cajoled her.
And, indeed, Rivka did try. When she told Yoav’s family that her parents wanted the wedding to be an ultra-orthodox one, they didn’t understand.
“What exactly do your parents want?” they asked in bemusement.
“They want the food to be kosher lemehadrin, and they want the band to play and sing Hasidic music, and they want complete separation between men and women,” Rivka specified her parents’ demands.
“And you agreed?” Yoav’s parents asked in shock. Rivka’s parents’ last demand made them very angry.
“I don’t know anymore. I’m confused,” Rivka replied.
A grave dispute broke out between the two sides, to a point that the wedding party was in jeopardy. Many arguments and discussions took place between the two families. Yoav’s family insisted the wedding be a secular one and refused to hear of a wedding according to Rivka’s parents’ demands. As far as they were concerned, the main difficulty had to do with the music for the guests and how to distribute seating places in the hall. Regarding the food, they agreed the food be kosher lemehadrin, which wouldn’t hurt the secular guests.
During those days of dispute, Rivka and Yoav found themselves between a rock and a hard place. On the one hand, they wanted to please Rivka’s family so they’d come to the wedding, yet on the other hand, they couldn’t ignore the desires of the other family members. They suffered many sleepless nights. Rivka daily called Ahron to tell him of their ordeals. Ahron rushed again to his parents.
“Because of all these unbridgeable disputes, you won’t be present at your daughter’s wedding. What does it matter what the band will play? If you don’t like the music, we can always ask them to stop. Rivka promised that the band will sing only Hebrew songs. It’s enough that we have kosher food and side tables, far away from wanton licentiousness, which I’m not even sure there will be. I have no doubt that with a little good will, we can reach an agreement,” he urged them.
“We have a powerful desire to compromise. Convince them that at least men and women will be separated. This is crucial to us. This is, after all, the world into which Rivka was born. They shouldn’t deny the bride’s past,” Yehudit claimed.
“You’re right, Mother. I’m convinced that if matters depended only on Yoav, things would be easier. But don’t forget he has a large family behind him, and a secular one. And if one agrees, there’s always someone else who won’t. There’s nothing you can do about that! They have their wishes, too, and we have to consider them, as well,” he said, reminding her that there was a second party participating in the wedding.
“They should also consider our feelings. What are we asking for? Small, inconsequential things. What’s so terrible about splitting the venue in two, so men and women won’t mix, huh?” Moishel insisted stubbornly.
“We have our logic, they have theirs. What we consider simple and logical, they consider complicated and complex, and vice versa. Believe me, they’re not stupid. And anyway, I’ve heard people say that Yoav is a marvelous guy. A combat pilot in the Israeli Air Force. People in the know claim that these are the best men you can find. You understand that your son-in-law is one of the best?” Ahron tried another tactic.
“Yes, I have heard that they’re good men,” Moishel said, without bothering to hide the pride in his voice.
“And a combat pilot; isn’t that dangerous?” Yehudit asked, worry for her future son-in-law creeping into her voice.
“Very dangerous. You know, Mother, that there are many wars in Israel. Combat pilots are the elite of the fighters. A combat soldier’s life is always in danger. But don’t you worry, Mother, God will save,” Ahron continued praising Yoav.
“Then we’ll go, son. You make sure that the wedding is balanced and modest,” Yehudit consented. She hurriedly took a napkin and wiped tears of happiness from her eyes.
“Do whatever you can for the benefit of the matter, son, and God help you. And regarding expenses, tell Rivka we’ll pay to the last cent,” Moishel gave his blessing to the matter.
Thus, after a continuous process of persuasion of both sides, it was decided to accept the compromise, which Ahron and Miriam had toiled on together, which was that the band would play and sing at the beginning of the evening Hebrew songs, and end the evening with Hasidic song
s. Regarding the guests, it was agreed that the hall be divided to three. The secular guests would sit in one half, men and women both, while in the other half, the Hasidic guests would sit. That half would also be divided in two, so that men and women, God forbid, wouldn’t mix. In the beginning, when the conciliatory suggestion was accepted, Rivka’s happiness knew no bounds. But the more she thought about it, the more she feared the emotionally loaded meeting between the two families would end in failure.
Thus, after a long, tedious ordeal, the family gathered and came en masse from New York, Jerusalem, and Bnei-Brak.
The wedding ceremony was actually successful. The rabbi who wed them did it wisely. When he saw his crowd, he asked the women first to sit on one side of the wedding canopy, and the men to sit on the other side. “Like they do in choirs when women sing on one side, and men pitch in from the other side,” he joked. Then he spiced up his blessing with various quips to amuse the guests. When he finished blessing a Sephardi blessing, he immediately started an Ashkenazi blessing, and everyone was ecstatic. Finally, Yoav broke the glass to the sound of the guests’ joyful cheering, and it seemed like things were working out in the best possible way. However, then the guests sat in their allotted seats, the band started playing Hebrew songs, and it seemed that they weren’t lively enough to rouse the guests. Although some of the guests tried to sing along to the Hebrew songs, they were few, and their voices were swallowed in the noise and din of the other guests, who didn’t stop chatting. With nothing in common among the guests, the dance floors remained empty. Minutes passed until they totaled up to an hour and not a soul ventured to the dance floor.
Things were so bad that it looked as though in another minute, the guests would disappear home, and the wedding, which so much work and thought had been invested in, would end prematurely. Sorrowfully, Rivka straightened in her seat and gathered her modest wedding dress, which had been made especially for her.
“I can’t sit here any longer,” she told Yoav and slowly walked to the women’s section at the orthodox side.
There, a surprise waited for her. A bunch of women and girls gathered and welcomed her singing and dancing. The musicians pounced on the opportunity and started playing a series of Hasidic songs. The orthodox men swarmed to the dance floor and burst into a wild dance. The orthodox women and girls on the other half of the hall didn’t sit around twiddling their thumbs and starting pumping up the beat. The young, secular friends cautiously approached the dance floor and watched the dancing orthodox men. After several minutes, they invaded the dance floor as well, joining the festivities as though they were born and bred Hasidim. The dancing became wilder and wilder as the evening drew on.
“Hay, hay, hay, hay, hay, hay,” the band sang loudly.
It wasn’t long before all the guests, women on one side, men on the other, secular and orthodox, jumped and danced in abandon. The previously occupied chairs were empty, and the dance floor became too crowded to contain everyone. The revelry swept away every single man and woman. Joy was so abundant that nobody cared any longer what sect others belonged to; everyone danced as one. When she saw the unexpected burst of joy, Rivka’s happiness knew no bounds and tears of delight washed her face.
That’s how they celebrated their wedding, Yoav on one side of the hall, Rivka on the other. Celebrations continued almost until dawn break. They would never forget the happiness of their wedding.
Among the dancers, were Jeff and Ahron. Like the others, they were swept away by the happiness, frolicking enthusiastically and tirelessly. When Jeff wanted to rest, he was immediately dragged again to the dance floor. His body dripped sweat, and he panted as though he’d just finished running a marathon. In the end, he broke away from the dancers and sat, exhausted, in one of the chairs next to the dance floor. After a long rest, he got up and approached the screen that separated the women from the men. He peeked at the women’s side and then at the bride. She was sitting in a chair, women, from young to old, dancing around her. She was like a beauty queen. Her modern dress was tasteful, her hairdo and makeup intensified her beauty, and she stood out against all the rest of the women. Occasionally, one of the women would approach her and give her a juicy kiss on her cheek. Rivka looked happy.
Jeff took his eyes off Rivka and looked at Pam. Suddenly, his sister also looked like a handsome woman. She was still short and stout, but her skin had become tanned and smooth, making her look different, better. For the wedding, she bought a special dress that suited her body. Her special makeup and hairdo did wonders for her new look. And, perhaps, it wasn’t the external things that did wonders for her. Since she’d arrived in Israel, she’d been happy, and lately, more than ever. Her self-confidence improved amazingly, especially ever she’d established her status at work and after meeting her boyfriend. Pam, like everyone else, jumped and danced. Judging by the expression on her face, there was no doubt she was on top of the world. This made Jeff sorry his mother wasn’t here to see it. He offered to bring her to Israel with him, but she refused, and he didn’t push too much.
Next to Pam, Eve whirled around dancing. Unlike the other women, her movements were somewhat reserved, as though she was a woman of nobility. Yes, Eve was also at Yoav’s and Rivka’s wedding. She’d survived the inferno. Miraculously. When he looked at her, he remembered the terror of that day. His heart raced. Even now, as she danced before him, hale and healthy, he felt agitated. Jeff removed himself from the noise and ruckus of the wedding and allowed his imagination to take him back to that day, September 11, 2001. He remembered the nurse’s voice on the phone, notifying him that his wife was fine, and she was in the hospital. Jeff was so confused he couldn’t understand why she was hospitalized if she was healthy. When he asked the nurse, she explained that Eve had been brought to the hospital unconscious.
“She suffered from smoke inhalation and lost consciousness. When she arrived here, we conducted a battery of tests—she’s fine. So are the fetuses in her womb. She’s awake now but in shock. Don’t worry, Mr. Farmer, a few more hours of rest, and she’ll be good as new,” the nurse assured him.
When Jeff realized Eve was alive and that their babies were alive and kicking, he jumped for joy, and so did Jessica and Rico. They immediately drove to the hospital and stormed her bed. And then Jeff saw her white, frightened face, her bruised body that couldn’t stop shivering. For hours, she stared at them without saying a word. The three of them and her parents, who’d arrived in the meantime, couldn’t get her to talk. Then she fell asleep. Exhaustion and sleeping pills did the job, and she fell into a deep sleep. Jeff was so worried, he ran to ask a doctor what was happening.
“Your wife went through a very tough experience. She’s reacting in a completely normal manner. Don’t worry too much. Sit next to her. Support her and she’ll be fine,” the doctor assured him.
Jeff did as the doctor ordered. He remained sitting next to her the entire night, stroking her head, kissing her, and following her breathing alertly. In the morning, she opened her eyes, and when she saw him, she whispered as she did every morning, “Good morning, my love,” and he jumped from his place, held her tightly, and couldn’t stop kissing her.
“Good morning, love,” he replied.
When the nurse came, he remembered to ask her why she hadn’t called him before, why she’d left him so helpless, tortured with worry, for such a long time.
“When your wife arrived here, we obviously didn’t know who she was. She had no documents. Her handbag must’ve remained there. First of all, we had to put her through a battery of tests to make sure she was okay. There was chaos here. Many nameless casualties were taken first to triage. It was crucial to treat them first, and only then, start clarifying and cross-checking with the information center. In your wife’s case, we had no choice but wait for her to wake up. When she did, she was so frightened she couldn’t talk. It was only after several hours that she took a piece of paper and wrote your name and number on it,” the nurse solved his mystery.
&n
bsp; Eve was released that same day. Although she was still in shock, she was in good enough condition to recuperate at home.
Family and friends heard about the miracle and came to visit. Even Miriam, Ahron, and his parents left the stronghold of Brooklyn in order to visit Eve in Manhattan. Still shaky, she told her many visitors the story in a quiet voice.
“We were in a meeting, and everyone was in high spirits. The subject of the meeting was a merger between two large companies. One of the company’s shares were traded in the stock market. The atmosphere was pleasant and quiet. The conference room was located on the east side, so the rays of the sun shone inside, and it was very pleasant. One of the lawyer’s told a joke, and we all laughed. We were joking quite a lot. Then the lawyers started laughing at their boss, who was supposed to arrive and start the meeting.
“When I saw that he was delayed, I went outside for a minute and called Jeff. When I returned to the room, the phone fell from my hand and the battery disconnected from the phone. I thought to myself that I had to turn off the phone anyway so it wouldn’t disrupt the meeting, so I put it in my bag without putting the battery back in place and sat in my chair. One of the secretaries served drinks, and everything looked fine. In the meantime, the boss arrived, and everyone was silent.
“Suddenly, before we even started discussing the merger, we heard loud noises coming from above. The noises grew louder until we heard a horrible crash and the building started shaking. We didn’t understand what was happening. Someone went out to the hallway to check, but then he came back and said he didn’t see a thing. He said that everything looked fine.
“We wanted to continue, but the explosions continued. I started getting really scared. I suggested we cut the meeting short and disperse. I felt as though something bad had happened. Their boss refused. He said he didn’t think it was anything serious. Suddenly, someone rushed into the room in a panic and said there had been an explosion in the building, and that there was a fire raging on the top floors. The minute he mentioned the word fire, no one cared about the boss anymore. We all ran.
