by H Q Kingsley
He climbed to his feet from his place in the sand but didn’t turn to look at me.
“In the future, do not run away like that again. I have already told you that as my mate, you need to maintain a certain image.”
He turned to me with a twisted, bewildered look on his face. His face was caked with dirt, and lines traced where sweat and what looked like tears had run down and left their mark.
I could smell the metallic scent of blood from his skinned knee, and I swallowed down the lump in my throat. It was unexpected how upsetting it would be to see him in pain. The training session had been brutal, and it had taken every ounce of self-control I could muster to keep my wolf in check as we watched him fail.
I’d actually felt guilty for making him get out there, and I’d been stunned by it. It had been the first time that I had ever felt guilt or anger for something that wasn’t about me. But seeing Iosefa struggling to keep up... I had felt more pain seeing him fall than I was sure he did. It was like being stabbed in the chest, repeatedly.
“You know what? Fuck your image!” he shouted at me.
The hardened tone in his voice surprised me a little. I’d seen little flashes of his fire before, but he was all flames now.
I shifted my weight as desire washed through me. Something about his feistiness turned me on. My wolf let out a low growl that I covered by clearing my throat.
“I don’t need to prove anything to your damn clan,” he yelled, stepping closer to me.
His scent hit me like a ton of bricks and my cock twitched.
“And you shouldn’t be forcing me to!” he continued.
I licked my lips. I always took every moment I could appreciate his beauty, but when he was fired up like this, when his brows knitted together and his face scrunched in anger... His delicate, unbruised hands curled into adorable little fists. Goddess, he was stunning.
My wolf desperately wanted to claim him, and I had to push him down.
I let out a slow breath and closed the gap between us, doing my best not to inhale his scent to deeply or I would lose the battle of wills with my wolf.
I towered over him, and his fire fizzled.
“Why stop talking?” I asked with a smirk, taunting him as he dropped his gaze.
I sighed, taking a small step back. Dimitri had been right; I was entirely too hard on him. He wasn’t raised in the Shadow Moon Clan. He needed a softer touch. One that I wasn’t accustomed to giving. But he made me want to give it to him.
I turned my head slightly to look out at the ocean. The late morning sunlight reflected off the ocean’s waves, giving the sea an array of glistening colors. It was oddly beautiful, like a moving painting. Even the salty smell of the water that drifted up to my nose had a more pleasant effect than it usually did.
“I didn’t tell you to train just to embarrass you,” I said, keeping my eyes trained on the waves. “I told you to train because it’s important not only as my mate, but as the Alpha Mate, for the clan. Your clan now. They need to know they can rely on you, and you need to know that you can rely on them. They will protect you when I cannot… though that will never be the case.”
When I finally looked at him, he rolled his eyes.
I frowned. Well, being kind got me fucking nowhere. What did he want from me?
He sighed. “I thought...” he started softly but trailed off.
I reached out for him, tilting his chin up to look at me. “Tell me. Please.”
He blinked in surprise. I couldn’t blame him. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d said please to anyone.
“I thought,” he started again. “You were going to do something, say something, to punish them for mocking me.” He pushed my hand away and dropped his gaze to his feet. “But then, you didn’t do anything.”
His voice was so soft and sad. And when he looked up at me, his eyes watered over, and it fucking gutted me.
My heart tugged in my chest seeing the pain on his face.
“Sweet wolf,” I said, reaching out to place my hands on the sides of his face. “How do you know I didn’t?”
He frowned, his brows furrowing as he looked up at me with those sweet, sad eyes.
I let him go and ran a hand through my hair. I couldn’t stand to see that fucking look on his face any longer. It filled me with a feeling I wasn’t familiar with, something I couldn’t even name, but I hated it.
“The truth is,” I said with a sigh. “I was furious,” I confessed. “I wanted to rip their heads off. My own clan! I wanted to tear their heads clean from their shoulders for the way they teased you.”
When I looked back at Iosefa, he had a startled, dumbfounded look on his face. It was kind of adorable really, definitely better than the sad face. I vowed to surprise him more.
“But, of course, I didn’t,” I said. “Just like you, I also have an image to maintain. They’re doing extensive training as punishment until tomorrow evening. I’ve left Dimitri to oversee them.”
Iosefa’s lips parted. I wasn’t sure if it was in shock, or if he wanted to say something in response, but he quickly closed his mouth, leaving me to wonder.
I reached my hand out to touch him, and he jolted, making me stop, my hand in midair.
I hesitated before I moved again, bringing the back of my hand to his cheek. I gently ran my knuckles down his jaw when he didn’t pull back.
“I’m sorry,” I said, turning my hand and wiping at the smudges of dirt on his cheek. “I’m sorry that they teased you.”
He closed his eyes, leaning into my touch, and it made my chest tighten. It warmed me in a way I wasn’t familiar with when he let me touch him like that. When he appreciated me touching him.
I slowly moved closer to him, bringing his head into me to rest on my chest.
I forced myself to breathe slow and steady breaths, so as not to startle him. I couldn’t tell if it was my heart or his that raced at a million beats a minute, but I knew having him against me was dizzying.
I’d never been much for physical affection, and even if it had been something I desired, I’d have simply taken it. But this, this was something different. This was a tenderness freely given, and it filled me. It made me feel… alive, and happy, and light, and a thousand things I’d never felt before.
Suddenly, the only thing I wanted to do was hold him like this forever, shielding him from every bad thing that might ever come his way.
“No one has any right to treat you that way,” I growled. “And I will kill anyone who does. I promise you that.”
Iosefa’s eyes immediately snapped open, and he jerked back, leaving a cold spot against my chest.
“I didn’t ask you to kill for me!” He shook his head. “I don’t want you to kill for me.”
“I-I…” For the first time in my life, I was at a loss for words.
I met his eyes. “Iosefa...I don’t know how else to protect you.”
He crossed his arms over his chest, a sharp and sudden change in his mood toward me. “Who asked you to protect me?” he bit. “I never asked to be here with you.”
I stumbled backward. He’d probably have cut me less deep if he’d used an actual knife. That’s what happened when you let people in. You gave them the ability to hurt you. Love is a weakness. My father’s words echoed in my head. Power is your strength. Fear is your birthright.
Suddenly, I remembered who I was. I wasn’t some pathetic pup, yearning for someone’s touch. I was the fucking Alpha of the Shadow Moon Clan.
“When will you learn that you aren’t on your peaceful island anymore?” I snapped. “This is a different world. One filled with violence and terrible fucking people. And the only person who can protect you from those people is the worst of them all. Trust me, Iosefa. You want me in your corner. So, don’t push me.”
Iosefa surprised me when he closed the small gap between us, arching onto his tip-toes to face me eye-to-eye. “I’m not scared of you, Alpha Callum.”
I straightened. “Well, you fucking sho
uld be,” I said, exerting every bit of my power over him.
I could feel my wolf going wild inside of me. He was hurt and angry and confused… or was that me? I couldn’t tell anymore. I’d let Iosefa in and now everything felt like utter chaos.
I let out a low and vicious growl, and Iosefa cowered back so quickly that he stumbled over his own two feet and toppled to the ground.
He stared up at me, his eyes wide with fear and… something else I couldn’t read. I intruded into his mind, desperate to know what else he was thinking.
I jolted at the thought that jumped back at me.
I see you, Alpha Callum.
I stared down at him in stunned silence for a moment before I spoke.
“What does that mean?” I demanded.
He still cowered below me, and I forced my wolf to calm down before easing into the sand to sit next to him.
“What does that mean?” I asked again more gently.
He relaxed a little and turned his eyes to the sea. “It means that I see you.” He looked back over at me and grinned at the confused look on my face. “You don’t scare me, Alpha Callum. Your wolf can tame mine, you can make my wolf bend to you, but I am not afraid of you.”
I swallowed. “Well… that’s… that’s pretty dumb of you,” I said, meaning to sound more threatening, but instead sounding like an idiot.
Iosefa heard it and chuckled.
I scowled, tempted to let my wolf loose again. The little shit was laughing at me. Nobody laughed at me. Ever.
But then he turned to me and his bright grey eyes neutralized me.
“Alpha Callum. I’ve watched you—with your staff, with your men, with Dimitri—and you are definitely a beautiful monster, but sometimes when we’re alone, or when you think no one is watching, there’s a glimmer of something else in you. Something… good.”
I blinked at him. And for the second time in my life, I was at a loss for words. I’d never been told I was good, or that there was any semblance of good in me, and yet, Iosefa seemed to believe it enough to risk laughing at me.
Suddenly, I laughed, a roaring laugh that I hadn’t meant to let loose. “Iosefa,” I started as my laughter died down. “You baffle me,” I confessed.
“Oh.” Iosefa frowned. “Is that… good?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know.”
He nodded, dropping his gaze to the sand. “You baffle me too,” he said softly.
I smiled, watching him for a long, quiet moment as he traced patterns in the sand with his finger.
“Why did you come here?” I finally asked, breaking up the silence.
He looked back out at the water. “It reminds me of home. The ocean is where I feel most comfortable,” he said, his eyes sparkling. “The ocean is endless, beautiful, going on for miles. It gives me peace. I can’t find that back at the mansion.”
I nodded in understanding. The ocean had never given me peace, but… Iosefa did. And I suddenly understood how important that was.
Iosefa fidgeted. “You’re doing it again,” he said, tucking his hair behind his ear.
“What?” I asked.
“Staring at me,” he whispered.
I chuckled. “It’s different this time.”
He furrowed his eyebrows. “How so?”
“I’m not staring because I feel like I own you.”
He tugged at a strand of his hair, nervously twirling it around his finger. “Oh… Then, why are you staring?”
I smiled. “Because you’re beautiful.”
Iosefa pulled his knees into his body and tucked his face into them to hide himself from me. “Oh,” he said shyly, lifting his head just enough to peek out at me.
I leaned back, grinning as I continued to stare at him. He really was the most entrancing thing I’d ever seen.
“Well,” I said. “Aren’t you going to tell me how good-looking I am now.”
He rolled his eyes, but his lips twitched in a half-smile. “I thought I did.”
“Oh?”
He hugged his knees tighter. “Yeah, you know, the whole ‘beautiful monster’ thing.”
I nodded. “Ah, right. I guess I was more focused on the monster part.”
I climbed to my feet and dusted the sand off myself before extending my hand to help him up. “Come on,” I said. “We should get you cleaned up. And while we’re here, we might as well go into town. There’s some business we should tend to.”
As we rode into town, I couldn’t stop staring at Iosefa. I kept wanting to touch him, but I wasn’t quite sure how. He said that he saw me, but how could that be when I could barely see myself?
My father had drilled so much into my head. He’d raised me to believe that power and respect were the only things I needed in life, but now I wasn’t so sure. He’d taught me to be cruel, convinced me that evil was ingrained in my DNA, but how could that be if Iosefa saw something good in me?
Could the great Alpha Thaddeus have been wrong? Could I be… good? And if I couldn’t, would it mean losing Iosefa?
“Where are we going?” Iosefa asked, pulling me out of my wayward thoughts.
“We’re going to the doctor’s,” I said. “We, um…” I eyed him, debating how to tell him. Before I hadn’t cared. Before I had planned to take him as my mate, as a vessel to carry my heir. But now, just as he saw me, now, I saw him. He wasn’t a thing to be claimed. He was a person. A phenomenal, sweet, beautiful person. And I no longer wanted to force anything on him that he didn’t want.
“What?” he asked, looking at me curiously before his expression turned to concern. “Is something wrong? Are you okay?”
I smiled, touched by his concern. “No.” I shook my head. “It’s not for me, it’s…” I rubbed at the back of my neck. “We need to know your heat cycle.”
Iosefa’s eyes went wide before he blinked and slowly sank into his seat. “Oh,” he squeaked.
I shrugged, trying to seem less tense than I felt. “It’s just something we should know, you know… in case…”
He nodded, shrinking more into his seat and placing his hands to his cheeks. “Yeah, no. I get it.”
I nodded back, opening my mouth to say something, but closing it when I realized I had nothing to say.
A long, awkward silence passed before Iosefa looked over at me. “Um… w-what will he do to me? The doctor, I mean.”
“Oh, um…” I scratched my head. I’d never been mated or concerned enough about the pregnancy process to ever find out. “I’m not sure.”
Iosefa shrunk a little more, and I instinctively reached out for his hand closest to me.
Initially, he pulled back, bringing his hand protectively into his body, and I fought against the urge to get angry. Of course he kept pulling away from me. Every time he turned around, I was exploding on him, scaring the shit out of his wolf.
I took a deep breath and flipped my hand up, setting it between us on the seat. If he chose to take it, I would relish in touching him, and if he didn’t, I would just keep trying. No more anger, Elspeth.
He stared down at my hand but didn’t move to take it.
“It’s just… I’ve never…” He cleared his throat. “I’m just nervous, is all.”
“You don’t have to be,” I assured him. “I’ll stay with you the whole time. I promise.”
His grey eyes glistened when he looked over at me. “The whole time?” he asked quietly.
“The whole time,” I repeated.
I let out a sigh of contentment when his hand slowly crawled across the seat to rest in mine. “You promise?” he asked, so meekly it made me want to climb across the car to scoop him into my arms.
But instead, I stayed put, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. “I promise.”
“Alpha Elspeth!” Doctor Kendrick smiled at me as I entered his office. “It’s good to see you again. I don’t think you’re scheduled for an appointment today, are you?”
He looked down at his clipboard, his bleach blond hair falling over his eyes as he did.
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“No, not me,” I said, stepping to the side so that he could see Iosefa. He still clung tightly to my hand and hid himself closely behind me. I felt guilty for enjoying how terrified he was, but I couldn’t help it. I loved being his protector, loved that he clung to me, trusting me to thwart his fears.
“Doctor Kendrick, this is my True Mate and omega, Iosefa.” I turned, gently nudging Iosefa. “Iosefa, this is Doctor Kendrick.”
Iosefa gave him a tiny, nervous wave with his free hand.
“Oh? Well, this is a surprise. I didn’t expect that you would ever come home with a mate. It’s nice to meet you, Iosefa.” Doctor Kendrick’s gaze shifted between the two of us. “What brings you both here then?”
“I want Iosefa to have a full omega check-up.” I looked quickly at Iosefa before looking back at the doctor. “We would like to know his heat cycle.”
I cleared my throat and gave Iosefa’s hand a light squeeze. “We want to prepare accordingly,” I said.
Iosefa tensed a little.
The doctor nodded, clearly not noticing. “No problem at all,” he said. “I know you two probably want to get on producing an heir as soon as possible, eh?”
He grinned, and Iosefa went incredibly pale.
I pulled him closer into me, wrapping my arm around his waist.
We can leave. If you want to. I pushed my thoughts into his head and he jumped.
He turned to me, eyeing me long enough that I thought he might bolt, but then he shook his head.
We should know. His voice echoed in my head, and I warmed. Something about being a ‘we’ with him sent a tingle up my spine. We were a unit. I’d never had that before. I was an Alpha. I had a clan, I had a beta, but I never had… a partner.
Doctor Kendrick clapped his hands together and stood up from his front desk. “I have no one scheduled for another hour, so why don’t I bring you to an empty room and we can get started?”
Iosefa nodded, placing his hand over mine to ensure that it was still firmly positioned at his waist.
I smiled, keeping my hold on him as we followed Doctor Kendrick through the empty waiting room.
It wasn’t the easiest thing in the world, keeping my hold on him as we walked, but there wasn’t any way in hell I was going to let go. If I had to walk upside down to keep holding onto him, I’d have found a way.
