by H Q Kingsley
“Everything is alright,” I cried. “I’m okay. You don’t have to be like this anymore. You have to stop now.”
He stilled for a moment, and I thought I’d gotten through to him until a sharp pain shot up my arm. His teeth sunk deep into my skin, and I yelped but didn’t let him go. I couldn’t.
I cried out in agony as more tears spilled from my eyes.
“Please, Alpha Callum!”
I screamed as he bit me again, this time his jaw latching onto my arm.
“It’s okay,” I sobbed, using my other hand to pet him. “You can bite me all you want. I’m right here, okay? I’m right here with you. I’m not letting go.”
His jaw loosened as my hand brushed over his fur, and he looked up at me.
The red faded from his eyes, replaced with big, wet tears that slipped onto his fur.
I let him go to cradle my injured arm, and he whimpered, lowering his head to look at my injuries. He hesitantly sniffed at the bites and winced, whining again.
Dimitri groaned across the room, and I was thankful he was still alive and coming back to consciousness.
I hurt you. Alpha Callum’s voice floated into my head. It was filled with sadness and regret.
His wolf pressed into me, softly nudging his head against my arm.
I am a monster… How could I… I… I’m sorry, Iosefa.
I shook my head, and reached out for him, stroking him tenderly behind the ears.
“But you stopped and that is what matters.”
He carefully licked my wounds before resting his head into my lap.
Forgive me, Iosefa. Please. Forgive me for everything.
I continued to pet him and opened my mouth to grant his forgiveness, but Dimitri interrupted me.
“How did you... How did you do that?” Dimitri asked, rubbing his head as he climbed off the bed.
“Do what?” I asked.
“You broke him free from his rage?” Dimitri stared at me like I was some sort of witch.
I shrugged. “I don’t know,” I confessed. “He needed me, and I was there, I guess.”
Alpha Callum nuzzled in closer. I’ll always need you. Will you always be there?
I smiled and despite everything I’d promised myself, despite every plan I’d made to run away, I answered him.
Yes.
11
Elspeth Callum
“And you moved Iosefa to his new room?” I asked Dimitri as I slipped into my boxers and climbed onto my bed.
Dimitri was tattered and bruised, and it was hard to look at him knowing that I’d caused his injuries, but it had been impossible to look Iosefa in the eye.
I desperately wanted to see him, wanted to comfort him, but outside of my wolf form, I felt too guilty, too monstrous. So, I’d instructed Dimitri to take care of it.
“Mmhm, yeah.” Dimitri nodded. “If you need anything, just call, Alpha,” he said as he exited my bedroom.
I rested my head on my pillows, staring at the canopy of the bed but seeing nothing. The memory of fighting Rami still played in my mind. More specifically, the memory of hurting Iosefa. Why couldn’t I control myself? If ever there was anything in my life I’d wanted to take back, it was that moment. How could I have bit him?
A knock on the door made me lift my head.
“Come in,” I said, assuming it was Dimitri.
I stilled when Iosefa stepped into the room.
He had something in his hands, and he hesitated before approaching me.
I stole a glance at his arm, but he had changed into a long-sleeved shirt to cover the bandages. Whether it was for my sake or because he was cold, I still felt the gut-wrenching twist of guilt.
“What are you doing in here?” I asked, more harshly than I meant. “Didn’t Dimitri set you up in your new room?”
“He did,” Iosefa said as he dropped a handful of bandages onto my bed beside me, seeming to ignore my cranky tone. “But I wanted to clean up your injuries and check on you.”
His eyes dropped, and I noticed how slowly they walked up my barely covered body.
He cleared his throat when he saw that I caught him looking. “Um.. A-are you ready?” he asked.
I shrugged. “Yeah, I guess.” I hadn’t sustained any major injuries except for a slight bruise on my torso and arm, but those would be healed easily enough with my next shift. “Whenever you’re ready.”
He grabbed the bandages, climbed onto the bed, and I was immediately overwhelmed by his scent. I swallowed down a moan as his fingers gently brushed across my stomach.
His hands were so soft and warm, and his smell was so sweet.
I pulled in a deep breath, trying to stop the erection slowly swelling in my boxers.
“How are you doing?” he asked, helping me to sit up so he could wrap the bandage around my chest.
I swallowed, trying to focus on anything but the smell of him. The warmth of him, the soft brush of his long hair against me every time he leaned forward.
“My wounds will heal when I go for my next run,” I said. “And Dimitri said he will be fine as well.”
I placed my hands on his shoulder, pushing him back a little. “I’ve got it,” I said securing the wrap. I couldn’t think with him touching me.
Iosefa dropped his hand. “Oh, sorry. I just wanted to… help.”
His voice was so soft and sad. Shit! I’d done it again. How was I so constantly fucking things up with him?
I let out a breath. “I’m sorry,” I said. “It’s just… you… You are the one that I am worried about.”
I reached out to gently take his arm. “Are you okay?” I asked.
Iosefa looked up, his long eyelashes doing a slow flutter. “I’m fine. Still alive and kicking.” He grinned boyishly, making my heart hammer as the guilt gutted me.
I swallowed as my throat tightened. “Iosefa,” I started, stopping when my voice broke.
I cleared my throat and tried again. “Iosefa, I am so sorry.”
Iosefa shrugged. “It’s okay. You didn’t mean—”
“It’s not okay.” I shook my head. “I lost control and hurt you.”
Iosefa sighed. “Alpha Callum,” he said, meeting my eyes. “You always lose control and hurt me.”
I blinked, a harsh pain jolting through my chest as his eyes watered. “Iosefa...”
“Your words and your actions hurt just as much as your fangs, Alpha Callum.”
I nodded, understanding exactly what he meant. Hearing that I hurt him so much was worse than any bite any wolf could give me.
“I promise you, I’ll do better.”
A deep line of thought formed between Iosefa’s brows. “That’s what you said before, and then… I waited all night for you and—”
“Shit.” I let out a long breath. “I never came back to your room.” I ran a hand through my hair, realizing that I’d spent the entire night in my study with Dimitri. Iosefa would have never been left alone if I’d kept my word to him. If I’d protected him like I promised.
“Yeah.” Iosefa fidgeted. “I felt… bad that you never came.” He reached up to toy with the ends of his hair. “Goddess, that’s so dumb, isn’t it? Nevermind. Forget I said anything.”
He moved to climb off the bed, and I reached out to stop him. “No. No, Iosefa, it’s not dumb. I fucked up. All of this.” I gently held his injured arm. “All of it is my fault. Rami almost…” I swallowed, unable to say it. “It’s all my fault. You should hate me. It’s okay, and I’d understand because this is all on me. I just need you to know how sorry I am. And I swear, I’m going to stop making empty promises to you. I’m going to earn your love one of these days or die trying.”
Iosefa shook his head, a slight smile pulling at his lips. “I don’t hate you, Alpha Callum—”
“Elspeth,” I interrupted. “Just Elspeth.”
Iosefa’s smile widened. “I don’t hate you, Elspeth,” he said. “Sometimes I wish I did.”
I winced but didn’t interject.
“It would make so much more sense if I did. But the truth is”—he looked up at me—“seeing you today... Seeing Rami hurt you, it…” He sighed. “I just… I didn’t like it.” He shrugged. “I care about you. Despite all the reasons I shouldn’t, I do.”
I reached out and placed my hand on his cheek and he leaned into my touch and closed his eyes.
“But I don’t want to keep caring about you and getting hurt for it,” he said softly, his eyes still closed.
“I’ve never had anyone tell me that they would be there for me,” I confessed. He was right, all I did was hurt him, and he deserved to know why. “I wasn’t raised in a house full of love and warmth.”
Iosefa opened his eyes to look at me.
“My father was a mad man,” I explained. “He was a great and ruthless alpha who took what he wanted and apologized for nothing. He raised me in his image. He gave me a cruel streak that I can’t seem to control. Even with you.” I stroked my thumb over his cheek. “And I’ve never felt more inspired to be better than when I’m with you.” I shook my head. “But there’s always this booming, exhausting voice in the back of my head telling me that there’s no room for weakness and that love is a weakness. That you are my weakness. My father’s voice.”
Iosefa reached up and placed his hand over mine.
“But you, you have this remarkable ability to quiet that voice, and it both terrifies and thrills me, and I want to be better—for myself, for you...”
A slow tear traced down Iosefa’s cheek, and I leaned forward, gently kissing it away.
“I won’t ask for forgiveness. I know that I’ll have to earn it from you. But I would like a second chance to show you that I can be a good alpha. I can be a good mate. I can be… good.”
I leaned back to look at him and a long moment of silence passed between us.
“I know that you can be good, Alph… Elspeth,” Iosefa said. He hesitantly reached out and placed a hand on my chest. “I’ve always known you had a good heart somewhere in there.”
He chuckled and the sound wrapped around me, spreading warmth through my entire body. I placed my hand over his that was resting on my chest and gently lifted it to my lips, softly kissing his knuckles. When he sucked his bottom lip between his teeth, it was the sexiest display of thought I’d ever seen.
What are you thinking about? I asked, starting to tinker around in his head.
This. He launched forward and pressed his lips to mine.
I jumped in surprise, pausing for only a moment before I began to kiss him back. Gently at first, taking in the sweet taste of him. He tasted just like he smelled, and I knew now that I’d had him, felt his lips on mine, I’d never be able to let him go.
I ran my fingers through his hair and pushed his head closer to mine, deepening the kiss. I spread his soft lips with my tongue, dipping it eagerly into his mouth as I kissed him more aggressively.
A wild, hungry need struck me, and I kissed him harder, licking into his mouth like a wild animal.
When he pulled back, his lips were puffy and he was panting. “Oh my goddess,” he breathed, placing his hands to his cheeks. “I can’t believe I did that.”
I leaned in to kiss him again and stopped. “Oh… does that mean… Do you… want to do it again?”
Iosefa gave me a shy nod and closed his eyes, pursing his lips. I grinned as I looked at him. Goddess, he was so fucking beautiful.
I reached out to stroke his hair and he let out a soft sigh as I placed a kiss to his jaw, his chin, and his nose before taking his lips again. This time, he met my hunger with his own, his lips tracing over mine in a timid sort of desperation.
I pulled him into my lap and smiled against his lips when I felt his erection against my stomach. Cupping my hand behind his neck, I kissed him with more fervor, feeling my own cock harden in response.
He rocked his hips, seemingly without even realizing he was doing it, and I pulled back, feeling I was allowing myself to go too far, too fast.
I took a second, trying to catch my breath and clear my head. “I promise to be patient and understanding with you, Iosefa,” I said. “I want you to be comfortable here because this is your home, and comfortable with me because I am your mate.”
Iosefa nodded, still panting.
I smiled and flipped him over onto his back so I could arch myself over him.
He looked up at me with sweet, wide eyes. His hands traced over my shoulders and down the bandages over my chest, to the band of my boxers before they stopped.
He pulled his lip between his teeth again, giving me that look that drove me fucking crazy.
“Are we… Um...” He dropped his eyes to my erection tenting my boxers. “Are we going to…”
I smiled, realizing what he was asking.
I shook my head. “No, sweet wolf. Not tonight.” I caressed his cheek. “We can just… Explore each other. That is, if you’d like?”
He smiled and nodded. “I think I would like that.”
“Yeah?”I grinned and placed a soft kiss on his chin. “Do you like this?” I leaned my head down to drag kisses down his neck.
A small moan escaped from his lips as he uttered a tiny ‘yes.’
“And how about here?” I asked, trailing my hands to the crotch of his pants, gently caressing him. His hips shot forward, rocking into my grasp. “Happy to see me, hmm?” I chuckled. He was so hard and responsive.
He closed his eyes, moaning for a moment before he opened them again. “I… I like kissing you too.” Iosefa said this so soft and shyly I nearly missed it.
I leaned down to kiss him again, letting him moan into my mouth as I toyed with his cock through the fabric of his pants.
Iosefa whimpered beneath me when I pulled back and a surge of need shot through my cock.
I lifted him up, helping him out of his shirt, and my eyes traced over the perfectly sculpted abs and the lean muscles of his shoulders. “Goddess above, my sweet wolf. You are so sexy.”
He shyly looked down as if no one had ever told him things like this before.
My gaze shot to the bandages covering his arm and I frowned, reaching out for it.
“It’s okay. I’m okay,” he assured me.
I leaned forward to lay kisses over the bandages, and Iosefa’s hand stroked over my head while I kissed all the way down his arm to his wrist.
“I’m sorry,” I said, meeting his eyes.
“I know.” He cupped my head in his hands. “It’s okay.”
He kissed me again—a gentle, soft kiss that felt like forgiveness. It warmed me to my very core, and I had to pull back as my throat tightened.
I blinked, feeling too many things at once that my mind couldn’t sort. I placed my hand to my head, lifting off of him.
Iosefa’s brows pulled together. “Is everything okay?” he asked, still panting as he propped his weight onto his elbows.
“Yeah, I just…” I looked back at him. “You fucking overwhelm me, Iosefa.”
He smiled. “Is that good or does that mean you won’t kiss me anymore?”
I laughed and leaned back over him. “Oh, I’m definitely going to kiss you more. A lot more. All the time.”
He wrapped his arms around my neck. “You promise?”
I placed a soft, quick kiss to his lips. “I promise.”
12
Dimitri Isakov
My wounds from Elspeth’s alpha rage had finally healed. It had taken a month, but I was finally as good as new.
Almost the same amount of time had passed before Elspeth had stopped looking at me with the hint of guilt in his eyes. It faded day by day as my injuries repaired themselves, but thankfully, it was now gone.
Another shocking development was that he and Iosefa seemed as solid as ever. Almost inseparable. And Elspeth himself was… different. Lighter. Happier. Especially when Iosefa was around.
As I entered the lounge, Elspeth aimed his cue stick at the cue ball and took the shot, aiming effectively, and putting four balls i
n their respective pockets.
“Nice aim, I see you haven’t lost your touch,” I said, moving to give Elspeth a squeeze on the shoulder as I passed by.
“Dimitri,” he said brightly as he turned around. “You look well. How are you feeling?”
I shrugged. “Good, I guess.” I moved to grab a cue stick from the wall. “Up for a game?”
Elspeth nodded. “Always.”
As he grabbed the balls from the pockets and began to re-rack them, I could feel him watching me.
“What is it?” I asked, my back still turned as I picked out my cue.
“Nothing, just making sure you’re moving about easily. No more apologies from me. I’ve done that too many times to you this last month.”
I turned. The first time he’d apologized, I’d been floored. Elspeth wasn’t the ‘I’m sorry’ type. But after hearing it every day for a month, it had lost some of its value. I sent a silent thanks to the Goddess that, like my wounds, it had passed and he would be returning to the strong and sure Alpha I knew.
“I told you I would be fine, Alpha.” I shrugged. “Frankly, we’ve had worse fights, and we’re still brothers.”
Elspeth chuckled. “Yeah, I guess so.” He smiled. “How is Mishel?”
I sighed. I hadn’t given Elspeth all of the gory details, but Mishel had been pretty pissed about my injuries. He already thought Elspeth was unhinged, and an attack did nothing to ease his worries. I was actually surprised he hadn’t forbade me from leaving the house.
“He’s… coping,” I finally said.
Elspeth finished racking and gestured for me to break. “He still hate me?”
I frowned as I lined up my shot. “Hate is a strong word. He just doesn’t see all the sides of you. Especially, the new you.”
“The new me?” Elspeth blinked, and I took my shot. “Who is the ‘new me’ exactly.”
I straightened and looked at him. “You know...with Iosefa. You’re just not the same guy that you were a month ago.”
