I knew I wouldn’t get anymore out of him after that. Nolan never talked about why he left. I knew it bugged Caeden, but since he was scared of Nolan running off again, he didn’t push the topic.
“Thanks for helping me clean up,” I smiled at him as I hopped off the counter.
“It’s not a problem.”
Before either of us could say anything, we heard Caeden call our names.
Nolan and I exchanged a look and hurried to Caeden’s office.
“What is it?” Nolan asked.
“Has something happened?” I chimed in as my heart raced a mile a minute in my chest.
Caeden sat in the leather chair behind the desk with his head in his hands. “Sit.” He commanded.
I had never seen Caeden sound so…official.
“What’s going on?” I asked, feeling like I had been called into the principal’s office.
He lowered his hands from his face and sighed. “The elders can’t be trusted.”
“But Gram—”
“Not even, Gram,” he whispered. “Do I think she’s the mole? Hell no. But she’s around the elders too much to be trusted. I’m sorry, but that’s the truth.”
I was shocked. Not trust Gram? But she was my grandma!
“I think you’re being ridiculous,” I argued. “Gram would never betray the pack! If the other elders are a part of this, Gram must not know!” I knew there was no way Gram would betray us like that.
“I know that, Soph,” Caeden’s blue eyes rooted me to the spot. “But the less she knows of what we plan, the safer it is for her. If there is indeed a breach in the elders, like I believe there to be, then they’ll pump her for information. I’m trying to protect her.”
“Oh.” I sat back, soaking in his words. He’d really thought this through.
“The only people we can trust, is each other,” he pointed to the three of us, “Bentley, Chris, Bryce, Charlotte and our parents. I have to say though,” Caeden looked at me sadly, “we need to be careful what we say to our parents, just in case it gets back to Gram or one of the other elders.”
“This is a mess,” I groaned, lowering my head into my hands. “I feel like we can’t trust anybody.”
“That’s kind of the approach I’m going with,” Caeden rubbed his stubbled jaw. “I know there will be casualties, but I want to keep them to a minimum. The less everyone except for the three of us knows the better.” His eyes were tired and his shoulders sagged in defeat. Losing Logan, and other pack members, had taken a toll on him.
I looked over at Nolan, suddenly questioning whether or not we could trust him. I mean, he had just shown up at our doorstep years after he’d disappeared. I hated to feel like we couldn’t trust anyone. That thought made me feel so lonely. You should be able to trust your friends and family, but we couldn’t risk it again. I understood where Caeden was coming from. It didn’t mean I had to be happy about it though.
* * *
Two weeks passed as Caeden kept himself shut up in his office pouring over anything that could help us kill Travis and his mutants. He barely ate or slept. To say I was worried about him was an understatement.
I stepped into his office and he was oblivious to my intrusion. I leaned over the chair he sat in and wrapped my arms around him. He startled at my touch, but then relaxed.
“Come to bed,” I whispered. “You’re exhausted, Caeden. Shifter or not, this isn’t healthy behavior.”
“I need to find something,” he whispered.
“Find what? Can I help you?” I questioned. At this point, I was desperate to do whatever it took to make him leave his office.
“No,” he shook his head. “I’ve read over these books hundreds of times,” he pointed to the book in his lap and even more covering the floor, “there’s nothing in them that’s helpful.”
“And yet, you keep reading them hoping for a different outcome?”
“Silly, I know,” he laughed humorlessly.
I hated seeing him tear himself apart like this. I knew he was the Alpha, but we were a pack and we should be doing these things together.
“Let’s go to bed,” I reached for his hand and he placed his in my open palm, “and starting tomorrow we do this together.”
He smiled a genuine smile. “Deal.”
Three.
“Do you think we can trust Nolan?” I drew random designs on Caeden’s naked chest when I asked the question. I couldn’t make myself look in his eyes. This was a question that had been haunting me since the conversation between the three of us in Caeden’s office two weeks ago.
“I’ve had my…doubts,” he admitted, his chest rising and falling heavily. “But yes, I do believe we can trust him. Maybe him more than anyone else.”
“Why?” I questioned as the morning light began to stream through the windows.
“He’s…Nolan. There would be no reason for him to betray us.”
“Then why would the elders betray us?” I continued to trace my finger over his chest.
“Because they don’t want me as Alpha,” he whispered.
I sat up, my hair sweeping down and around my shoulders. “That makes no sense.”
“Yes, it does,” Caeden sat up too. “As soon as my dad died, they were determined to make sure I wouldn’t become Alpha, but there was nothing they could do.”
“Explain,” I pleaded. Everyone always seemed to forget that I didn’t grow up knowing I was a shifter. There were so many things I had no clue about.
“You see…if we have a son and something would happen to me, he wouldn’t be able to take over the position of Alpha until he was seventeen and even then he’d have to go through trials to prove himself.” He ran his fingers through his hair and continued, “In the meantime, someone else would be assigned as a temporary Alpha. Since I was seventeen when my dad was—murdered,” he forced the word out, “there was nothing the elders could do, but give me the position.” He swallowed thickly. “Luckily, since I was of age, they didn’t put me through the trials. But they did think I was too…soft hearted for the position.”
“What’s wrong with that? The fact that you care is a good thing,” I placed my hand over his heart, reveling in the steady thumping.
He placed his hand over mine. “They said it makes me weak and easily distracted.”
“Who the hell are these elders?”
“They’re composed of our grandparents,” he tucked a piece of hair behind my ear.
“I thought your grandparents were dead or something? You never talk about them.”
“My grandparents have all passed away. The elders are made up of what’s left of our generation’s grandparent’s. It’s Bentley’s grandpa that hates me the most. He felt that Bentley’s dad should have been Alpha instead of me.”
“Wow,” I breathed. “I’ve never quite understood the politics of this world.”
“It sucks,” he frowned. “I hate it, to be honest. I’m sick of the elders trying to control everything so much. Did you know, we’re not allowed to be involved with humans and if they find out they’ll kill you?”
“Oh my God,” I gasped. “That’s horrible!”
“I think that’s why Nolan left,” he mused.
“Because he fell in love with a human?” I questioned.
He nodded, looking at me between his long black lashes. “He was always a rebel,” he fought a smile.
“Still, they’d kill him because he fell in love with a human? That’s just…so wrong.”
“Each shifter community has its own set of elders and they’re all stuck in the past. It’s like they’ve forgotten what it’s like to be young,” he mused.
“There’s so much I don’t know,” I whispered sadly, rubbing a finger over his collarbone.
“You’re better off not knowing, Soph,” his fingers tangled in my hair and he forced me to look at him.
“It isn’t fair for you to decide that for me,” I frowned. “I’m your wife, Caeden, but I’m also an Alpha too. I need to know
these things. Not knowing them makes me vulnerable, and I don’t think you want that.”
A wrinkle creased between his brows and I leaned forward to kiss it away.
“You’re right,” he breathed, kissing my neck. “You’re always right.”
“Of course. I’m brilliant,” I laughed—one of the first genuine bouts of laughter I’d had since Logan died.
“I’ve missed that,” Caeden reached to cup my cheek.
“What?”
“Your laugh…your smile,” he brushed his thumb over my bottom lip. “I hate seeing you sad and not being able to do anything about it.”
I frowned. “You do everything.” And that was the truth. Caeden didn’t realize how much he helped me by just being him. He was my rock. He kept me grounded and sane. Did I get mad at him? Sure. But I knew he’d always be there for me, we were mates after all. Caeden understood me, though, the good and bad parts.
“Hey,” he said, snapping me out of my thoughts.
“What?” I blinked my eyes, trying to focus on what he was saying.
“Where’d you go? You kinda blanked out on me,” he chuckled, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear.
“Sorry,” I shook my head, gazing down at the sheets, “I was just thinking about us.”
“Oh, really,” he chuckled, nibbling on my chin.
“Mhmm,” my eyes closed and I leaned towards him.
“Good things, I hope,” he whispered huskily as his lips grazed my ear. Two minutes ago we’d been talking about the crappy elders and now all I could think about was losing myself in his love and warmth.
“Always,” the word left my lips on a breathy sigh. He peppered kisses along my jaw and down my neck. “Caeden,” I breathed, my fingers tangling in his wavy hair.
“Come here,” he growled low in his throat, grabbing me around the waist and pulling me onto his lap. His lips covered mine and I let him take away all my fears and doubts with his touch.
* * *
“I love you,” Caeden nuzzled my neck, pulling me against him.
“I love you too,” I giggled, trying to pull out of his embrace, “but we really need to get dressed to get to the doctor’s in time.”
“I know,” he kissed my lips and released me.
I returned to searching through the closet for something to wear.
“I can’t believe we get to hear that baby’s heart today,” he smiled at me. “That seriously blows my mind.”
I nodded in agreement. Hearing and seeing the baby would make it even more real. A part of me still couldn’t believe that in a matter of months, we’d have a baby to hold. It blew my mind.
Unfortunately, I felt like I couldn’t really enjoy my pregnancy. We had so much to worry about with Travis and the mutants. I wanted him dead before the baby came. No way was I having a baby with Travis still posing a threat. I’d rip him apart limb by limb—
“Sophie?” I shook my head as Caeden’s voice interrupted my thoughts. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” I forced a smile. “Just thinking about the baby.”
His grunt told me he didn’t believe me, but he decided not to pester me about it.
Pulling on a shirt, I turned to face him. “I meant what I said last night. We do this together. Let me help you.”
“I know you meant it,” he bent and kissed the top of my head. “And I understand where you’re coming from. Locking myself in my office and reading The Legends over and over again, isn’t going to solve anything. Two brains are better than one,” he winked at me.
“Or three if you let Nolan help,” I pointed out. “Even more if you asked our pack to help you.”
“I’d prefer to keep them out of this…for now at least. I’m not quite ready to tell them my belief of the elders…especially Bentley. He may be my best friend, but blood is thicker than water and I don’t want to push him away.”
“I understand,” I slipped on a pair of flip-flops. “You ready?”
“Yeah.” Caeden was all smiles. “When do we find out if it’s a boy or girl?”
“It’s way too soon for that. Probably around Christmas,” I shrugged.
He wrapped an arm around me and pulled me against his solid chest. “And what a wonderful Christmas present that will be.”
“What would you prefer? Boy or girl?” I questioned curiously.
“I don’t care, honestly. Either way, I’m the luckiest guy alive. I have a beautiful wife and a sweet little baby to look forward to.”
I took his scruffy face between my hands and stared into his blue eyes. “Can you believe, this time last year we’d only just met?”
“It feels like I’ve known you forever,” he murmured. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“Same.”
No other words needed to be spoken.
I breezed past him and bound down the steps into the kitchen. I opened the pantry and grabbed a box of cereal before grabbing a bowl and milk from the refrigerator.
“Morning.”
I nearly jumped out of my skin. “Jesus! Why do you have to do that?” I glared at Nolan. He was reclined casually at the built-in breakfast nook chewing on an apple.
“It’s fun to scare you,” he smirked. “I’ve never been around a shifter that’s so…human.”
“It’s annoying,” I glared at him as I poured milk over my cereal.
“I find it amusing,” he took another bite of his apple.
“What are you two arguing over?” Caeden asked, breezing into the kitchen.
“Nothing, Cay-berry,” Nolan chuckled.
“Sure,” Caeden drawled as he fixed himself his own bowl of cereal.
“Where are you two headed?” Nolan asked, spinning the apple core on the tabletop. “You look like you’re on a mission and I’m not invited.”
“Doctors appointment,” Caeden answered, shoveling cereal into his mouth with one of the large wooden spoons you use for baking.
“We have regular spoons, you know,” I commented, trying to contain my laughter.
“Oh, I know. But this is more efficient,” he chuckled. When most of the cereal was gone, he brought the bowl up to his lips and tilted it back. His throat muscles flexed as he swallowed and I found myself having to look away. How did he manage to make everything he did seem so sexy? It really wasn’t fair.
I finished my own bowl and emptied the milk in the sink before sticking the empty bowl in the dishwasher.
“I might not be here when you guys get back,” Nolan muttered as he stood. He stretched his arms above his head and his thin t-shirt rode up a bit showing off his tanned and toned stomach. Before Caeden, I would have been attracted to Nolan. He was definitely a good-looking guy.
“Where are you going?” Caeden asked, his brows furrowing together.
“Out, Cay-berry, and that’s all you need to know,” Nolan clapped Caeden on the shoulder as he passed.
Caeden and I exchanged a look. “I’m sure it’s fine,” Caeden mouthed so Nolan wouldn’t overhear.
I shrugged in reply, because I wasn’t so sure.
* * *
“This is…awkward,” Caeden’s knee bounced nervously as he glanced around at all the pregnant women.
“You didn’t have to come,” I whispered in his ear.
He turned to glare at me. “Of course I did. This is my baby too. I want to be here. I’ve just never seen so many pregnant ladies in one place before,” he chuckled.
“I’m one of those pregnant ladies,” I poked his arm.
“Yeah, but you’re not—you know—showing yet,” he rolled his hands in front of his stomach.
“I’m going to show soon,” I snapped. Oh no. Were these my pregnancy hormones already kicking in?
“And you’ll be beautiful,” he put a hand over my stomach, lovingly rubbing his fingers over the cotton of my shirt.
“Nice save,” I muttered, wondering how much longer we’d have to wait. We’d already been here an hour and all I wanted was to see and hear my baby. I
t didn’t seem like too much to ask for.
A nurse opened a door and stepped into the waiting room. Looking down at the clipboard, she asked, “Sophie Williams?”
“’Bout time,” I muttered as I stood.
Caeden followed behind me, looking like a fish out of water. Poor guy.
“Right this way,” the nurse directed.
My heart raced in my chest in excitement and fear. I had no idea what to expect. I hoped they didn’t poke and prod me too much.
“Change into this,” she handed me a gown. “The doctor will be in soon.”
The heavy door closed behind her with a click.
“Well, this ought to be flattering,” I stared at the nasty cotton gown she told me to put on. There was a divider so I went behind that to change. I knew Caeden had seen everything already, but I was scared someone might open the door and get an eyeful. I didn’t need to deal with that embarrassment.
I tossed my clothes over the divider and called for Caeden. “Can you help me? I can’t tie it.”
“Sure,” he came around the divider and quickly tied the hanging ribbons together.
I took a seat on the paper-covered bed thingy. I looked up at the bright halogen lights. “I feel like I’m about to be dissected or something.”
Caeden chuckled as he sat down in the hard plastic chair once more. “I don’t think that’s going to happen,” he scratched his stubbled jaw.
“How long do you think we’ll have to wait?” I kicked my legs, looking around at the gross medical pictures depicting the joys of giving birth.
“Forever,” Caeden pinched the bridge of his nose. “Before we shift, we get sick and injured like any other human, and I’ve spent countless hours waiting for doctors and it sucks.”
“I can’t wait to hear our baby’s heartbeat,” I whispered.
“Me too,” he agreed, smiling so broadly that the dimple in his cheek winked at me.
A knock sounded on the door and then it cracked open.
“Hi, I’m Dr. James,” the man said. “You must be, Sophie,” he held a hand out to me.
“Yes,” I took his hand and gave it a light shake, trying to hide my cringe. I remembered specifically asking for a female doctor. I didn’t quite feel comfortable with some strange man I had never met before poking around down there. But I didn’t want to cause a scene and delay seeing my baby any longer, so I kept my mouth shut.
Avenger (Outsider Series) Page 2
